Lost Sister

Part 1

 

Author’s Note:  This is a plot bunny that’s been brewing for quite a while, long before I started putting my ideas on paper.  There will be two variations on this story.  The first will somewhat follow episode canon, through Season 3.  The second will be completely AU, having our boys meet under completely different circumstances.

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Justin was sitting outside sipping some coffee at the Metro Café.  It was a trendy café for college students in Dublin, Ireland.  He had been living abroad for about eight months.  PIFA had an exchange program for students in their third year, and Justin jumped at the opportunity.  He needed to get as far away from Pittsburgh and Brian as he could.  After walking out on Brian a second time, Justin figured he would be public enemy number one on their family’s “hit list.” 

Every one had been happy when they reconciled, even Michael.  Sure Mikey got his digs in, but he could see how happy Brian was with Justin.  The problem was Justin, he wasn’t happy.  When he first approached Brian about taking him back, all he wanted was to be back in the ad-exec’s arms and back in his bed.  He told Brian he knew what he could expect from the older man, and at the time he was alright with it, and they moved on.

For a while things were really great.  Brian opened up to him more than ever, and he felt they were truly on the road to a committed relationship.  Justin treaded very carefully, he didn’t want to push Brian too hard, he knew what happened the last time.  He just figured the natural progression would be the relationship he craved.  The time they spent together undermining Jim Stockwell and his bid for mayor were some of the best times they had.  Thanks to their schemes, the homophobe had lost the election.  It was by a very small margin, but when his true colors were shown, the gay community stepped up, and as a result Jim Stockwell was still the chief of police and not mayor.

Neither man had expected Brian to lose his job over the whole affair, so they were shocked when he did.  Brian never blamed Justin, but he slowly started pulling away.  He started tricking more and more, and treating Justin the way he had shortly before the artist left with Ethan.  Justin tried very hard not to let it affect him.  He had no claims on Brian, and couldn’t demand more of him, because the older man would just remind him of their deal when they got back together.

Brian ended up starting his own agency.  Apparently he was a greater asset to the firm than Gardner Vance ever realized.  When some of their major accounts learned that Brian was no longer with the firm, they demanded to know where he had gone, because they wanted to follow.  Cynthia got wind of this, and immediately reported back to Brian.  Between the two they got Brian started in his own agency very quickly.  Justin was very proud of his lover, even offered his services as unofficial head of the art department until Brian could hire more people.  Surprisingly, Brian got a lot of business because of the Stockwell affair.  Many large business owners were gay, and admired Brian for sacrificing himself for the better of their community.

The problem was Brian himself.  His old walls were back in place, and Justin was frozen out.  To the untrained eye, they were just as “together” as always, but after Brian’s firing, a mountain rose up between the two, and Justin became tired of fighting.  The end came one night when Brian had invited Justin over for dinner.  They had decided living together would be a mistake, so Justin stayed with Daphne.  Justin had let himself into the loft, and found Brian fucking some guy on the couch.  Brian looked up and saw him standing there, but just continued.  Justin left as quietly as he had come in.

The next day he came back to the loft, and found Brian alone.  The older man didn’t say anything, but his eyes spoke volumes.  For once Justin wasn’t interested.

“I can’t do this Bri.”

“What are you talking about?  You knew when we got back together …”

“I know, and at the time I believed what I said.  But I guess I didn’t mean it.  In the back of my mind, I still hoped.”

Brian sneered, “Hoped for what?  That we would go strolling off into the fucking sunset?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“Well if that’s what you expected …”

“I didn’t come here to fight Brian.  I just came to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For lying to you, even though I didn’t know it at the time.  You’ll always be my dream Brian.  You’ll always be the only man that I want, the only man that I need, but that’s just in my dreams.  Reality is much different, and I guess I can’t handle it.  So to answer your question from all those months ago.  Yes, I didn’t get what I wanted, so I’m leaving.  I don’t think I’m running away, I’m just accepting, you and I will never have the relationship that I want, and I’ve decided I won’t settle for something I don’t want.  When I came back, I thought I could settle, as long as I was with you, but I’ve come to realize it’s not enough.  So … goodbye Brian.”

Justin turned and left the loft, his heart breaking, but he knew he had made the right decision, even if his heart didn’t think so.  Thirty-six hours later he was on a plane bound for Ireland.

 

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Brian watched Justin leave, and for the first time felt a level of regret that he didn’t know was possible.  He knew he had disappointed the young man again.  They had come so far this time around.  Brian was truly happy with Justin, he barely tricked, and just enjoyed his time with the younger man.  But then came the Stockwell “meltdown.”  Brian didn’t blame Justin, he knew he was responsible for his own actions, but separating the blonde from the pile of rubble that used to be his career was impossible.  In order to cope, he retreated back to “Brian Kinney’s Formula for Pain Management.”  He knew he was hurting Justin, the blonde didn’t understand.  They had come so far, but now they were back at square one.

It took a few months for everything to completely fall apart.  Brian opened his agency, and Justin had been by his side the whole time.  He knew Justin was just going through the motions, just like he had in the weeks before he left Brian for Ethan.  Brian knew that Justin sensed his tricking had increased again, and the artist didn’t understand.  Brian couldn’t explain that everything he had worked for had fallen apart, and as much as he didn’t want to, there was a part of him that blamed the younger man for it.

The showdown at the loft hadn’t surprised Brian at all.  He knew when Justin walked in and found Brian with a trick, after he had been invited there would push the artist over the edge.  What surprised Brian, was when they had the confrontation the next day, Justin didn’t rage, didn’t go off on Brian.  In fact, he blamed himself, for falling into the trap of expecting too much again.  In the end, he simply left, and Brian’s heart broke.

He knew he could fix it, he just decided to wait a few days, let Justin cool down.  Two days after the “showdown,” Brian went to Jennifer’s.  He had been trying to get a hold of Justin, but had no luck.  He figured Jennifer would know. 

Brian nervously knocked on Jennifer Taylor’s door, “Brian, what a surprise!”

“Hi Jenn, I wondered if Justin was here?  I’ve been trying to get a hold of him, and haven’t been able to.”

Jennifer took a deep breath, “Justin left yesterday.”

“What do you mean ‘left?’”

“He decided to take his junior year abroad.  He left yesterday.”

“What?!?!” Justin had never mentioned this to him.  “Where did he go?”

Jennifer could see the raw emotion in the man who stood before her, but she had promised her son, “I’m sorry Brian, he asked me not to tell you.”

Brian’s pain was there for her to see, “He did?”

“Yes, and regardless of what I may personally feel about his decision, I won’t break my promise to him.”

Brian nodded, “I understand.”

 

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Justin quickly got settled in at Trinity College.  He had a single dorm room, and even made some friends in his classes.  He went out to the pubs, and explored the city.  They had some great museums and art galleries.  In some way, he still felt connected to Brian, by being in the country of his ancestors.  He was sure Brian would eventually hear about him leaving the country.  He was sure the older man might be a little upset, but would get over it.  He liked his life uncomplicated, and Justin certainly complicated it.  Justin knew that Brian loved him, but the ad-exec didn’t like chaos and drama in his life, and Justin was a master in those two fields.  He could feel Brian pulling away from him again, and he had lost the will to fight.

One afternoon, about two weeks after he’d arrived, Justin found himself strolling down the street, and literally crashed into someone.”

“Lad, you’d better watch where you’re going.”

Justin looked up and found himself staring into the hazel eyes he loved so much.  But it was all wrong.  These eyes were open and laughing.  As he focused his attention from the eyes, he found himself staring at a beautiful woman.”

“Are you ok?”  The woman spoke with a beautiful Irish baroque.

“Umm, yeah, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.”

“That’s ok Sunshine, these things happen.”

“What did you call me?”

“I’m sorry, you just have a ‘sunshine’ smile.  I’m Caitlin.”

“I’m Justin.”

“Would you like to get a drink?”

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting in a pub.  Caitlin was a little unnerved by the way this young man was staring at her.

“Would you care to tell me why you’re staring at me like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“I’m sorry, you remind me of someone.” 

         

“Really?  Someone special.”

“You could say that.  What is your last name?”

Caitlin found this question odd, but answered anyway, “Kinney.”

Justin almost fell off his stool, “This may seem like an odd question, but do you have relatives in America.”

Caitlin’s eyes clouded over, “I was born in America.  My parents couldn’t take care of me, so I was adopted by some distant cousins here in Ireland.  I arrived here when I was a week old.”  She felt uncomfortable answering these questions to a young man she had only just met.

“Do you know anything about your parents?”

“Look Justin, I don’t think it’s right to talk about these things with someone I had just met.”  She got up and started to go.

Justin took the chance, “Just one more question … please?”  Caitlin turned and sat back down.  Justin recognized the look on her face, it was the same one that Brian gave him whenever he was losing patience.  “Are your parents’ names Jack and Joan Kinney?”

Now it was Cait’s turn to be surprised,  “What do you know about that?”

“Please, I need to know.”

Caitlin didn’t understand what was going on, but decided to continue, “Yes, but they were unable to care for me.  I had a twin brother, who died at birth, and my parents knew they couldn’t care for me, so I was adopted by some of their distant relations here.  My mother told me all about it.  My parents loved me enough to give me away to a better life.”

Justin had a feeling he was going to destroy this woman’s world, but something told him to continue.  “Caitlin, I don’t think the story you have been given about your family has been entirely accurate.”

“What are you talking about, and how could you know anything?”  Familiar sparks were flying from those hazel eyes.

Justin reached into his wallet, and pulled out a picture of Brian.  He slid it across the table to Caitlin.  She looked at the picture, and her eyes questioned Justin.  “This is Brian Kinney.  He is the son of Joan and Jack Kinney.  He was born April 20^th, 1971.”

He watched Caitlin pale, “I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I.”

“Are you telling me this man is my brother?”

“I don’t know, but you look just like him.  Is April 20^th your birthday?”  The woman across from him nodded.  “If it’s true, Brian doesn’t know.”

“How do you know him?”

“We used to be lovers.”

Justin waited for some kind of negative response, but none was coming. “What do you mean ‘used to be?’”

“That’s a long story, for another time.”

“I don’t believe this, has my entire life been a lie?”

“I don’t think so.  I’ll tell you what I know, and what I think.  Brian was never very forthcoming about his childhood, but I do know that Jack wanted Joan to have an abortion when he found out she was pregnant again.”

“Again?”

“Yes, there is an older daughter, Clair.  Joan’s religious beliefs wouldn’t allow her to get an abortion.  My guess is if she found out she was having twins, she knew Jack would never accept two new babies, so she would have made arrangements for you.  I hate to say this, but you are lucky you were not raised by them.”

“Why are you so sure they are even my family?”

“Because you look just like Brian.  You have the same facial expressions, and carry yourselves the same way.”

“Justin, this is very overwhelming, I don’t know what to think.  I need to talk to my parents.”

“I understand.  Here is my number, give me a call … if you want to.”  Justin left the café, and the woman he knew to be Brian’s twin.

 

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Caitlin walked into her parents’ house unannounced.  Bridgit Kinney looked up from the stove, and found her daughter standing there, “Well hello sweetheart, to what do I owe this surprise?”

Caitlin kissed her mother on the cheek, unsure about how to proceed.  “Mama, I need to talk to you.”

“Sure, what’s going on?”

“I need you to tell me what you know about my birth parents.”

Bridgit paled, Caitlin had never asked for more information than she had been given.  “What do you mean?”

“Well, you must know something.”

“Well, your dad and I had been married for a few years and had no luck getting pregnant.  Your dad got a call from a lawyer in the States.  A distant cousin of his had gotten in a spot of trouble.  Apparently he had gotten a girl pregnant, and there was no way they could raise the baby, so they asked if we could.  We didn’t ask too many questions, we were just thrilled to get you.  You were delivered to us by the lawyer and a nanny two days later.  They told us that you’d had a twin brother who didn’t survive the delivery.”

Caitlin slid the picture of Brian that Justin had given her across the table.  Bridgit looked at the picture, she was staring at the male twin of her daughter, “Caitie, I don’t understand.”

“Mama, I think you were lied to.  I think this is my brother.  I am so confused right now, I don’t know what to think.”

“Where did you get this?”

“I met an American boy today.  We kind of collided in the street.  He looked at me like I was a ghost.  We went to the pub for a drink, and he told me about Brian Kinney.  His parents are Jack and Joan Kinney, the same as mine … his birthday is April 20^th 1971, the same as mine.”

“Oh my god,” was all Bridgit could say.

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Justin waited anxiously for Caitlin to call him.  The many emotions that he was going through had to pale in comparison to what Cait was going through.  He knew in his heart that she was Brian’s sister.  There was no other explanation.  She was truly his twin, she copied his ex-lover in every way, except she was a woman.  Justin wondered if he would hear from her again.

 

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Three days later, the call came.  “Justin?”

“Cait?”

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m a little bit overwhelmed.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Can, we meet?  I think we need to talk.”

“Sure, you name the place.”

They met up at Eden, a restaurant in downtown.  It was known for its local cuisine and atmosphere.

Justin spoke first, “I’m surprised you called me.”

“Me too.”

“Did you talk to your parents?”

“My mom.  If what you say is true, she didn’t know anything about it.  I told her about our meeting.”

“What did she say?”

“She was shocked.  I’m not surprised, my mother would never lie to me.  She was told the story that I told you, my parents were unable to care for me, and I was given up for adoption.  It saddened her that that may not be the truth.”

“What are you going to do?”

“You’re going to take me to America.”

 

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