No Wonder

Part 3

************************************************************************

To: jtaylor@taylorgalleries.com           

From: bknney@libertycomics.com

Subject: Re: Visit         

            J,

I think a visit would be well in order.  Make sure you bring my girl.  Let me know your travel plans.

 

            B

 

************************************************************************

 

            “Kinney.” 

            “Hey Brian?”

             "Justin, I was hoping you’d call.”

            “Really?”

            “Of course, you twat. Are you still coming next week?”

            “Yeah, I just wanted to give you the details.”

            “Ok, spill it,”

            “Well, Jenny and I will be coming on Saturday.  Liberty Air flight 627.  We get in at 7:30 in the evening.  I still need to work out hotel accommodations.”

            “Nonsense, you’ll stay with me.”

            “Brian, you have Gus, I can’t imagine that there’s room in the loft for two more.”

            “J, I don’t have the loft anymore.  Did you really think that after seven years, I would be raising Gus in the loft with a makeshift bedroom?  I own a house, and I have two guest rooms.  There will be plenty of room for you and Jenny.”

            Justin paused for a second, “J?”

            “Yeah, I’m here Brian, ok, we’ll stay with you.  Does anyone else know we are coming?”

            Brian paused before answering, “No, I haven’t told anyone that we have been in contact.”

            “Why not?”

            “I wasn’t sure what to say. It’s been so long.”

            “I guess.  Well, I will see you on Saturday. Can you give me your address so we can take a cab?”

            “No, Gus and I will meet your plane.”

            Justin paused. “Oh, ok.  Well, I’ll see you then.  Bye, Bri.”

            “Later, Justin.”

 

************************************************************************

 

            Justin looked at the disarray on his bed.  He had about three hours until he had to leave for the airport and he was nowhere near packed.  He had no idea what to bring, he didn’t know what Brian had planned and he was extremely nervous.  Daphne helped by getting Jenny packed and ready.  She knew Justin was having a tough time mentally preparing for this trip, but she knew he needed to do it.  There was so much he needed closure on and Brian was only part of it.

            “Do you need me to pack your bags too?”

            Justin turned and looked at Daphne and stuck his tongue out at her.  It was such a childish gesture that Daphne dissolved into giggles.  Her laughter was infectious and Justin started laughing too.

            “I think I can pack my own bags. Thank you very much.”

            “Well, you wouldn’t know by looking.”

            “Ha ha.”

            “Seriously J, it’s going to be ok.”

            “How do you know that?  I haven’t been back in ten years.”

            “I didn’t say it would be easy, but it will be ok.”

            “We’ll see.”

            Daphne wisely held her tongue.  She knew what Justin was facing.  Not only was he going to have to face Brian, he was going to have to face his parents.  Justin had refused to attend their funeral and had never visited their grave.  He had said goodbye to Molly at the hospital and knew his sister would understand his absence at her funeral.

            Daphne was worried that Justin wouldn’t come clean with Brian.  She knew Brian left New York believing he and Justin were going to have a fresh start.  That would never happen unless the two came to terms with the past.  Daphne knew Brian Kinney. Unless he was forced to, he wouldn’t face what had happened to Justin.  She knew Justin was very protective of Brian.  He wouldn’t want the older man to carry guilt about the situation Justin had found himself in when Brian had rejected him.  Justin knew the way Brian carried guilt and would want to spare him that, but Daphne believed that would be disastrous.  She hoped Justin would come clean with Brian, but she feared that he wouldn’t.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Justin spent the flight going over some figures for the new gallery that he was opening.  James had sent over the latest proposals before Justin left for New York.  Justin and James had remained friends over the years.  Justin never forgot how James had helped him when he was on the streets.  When Justin moved in with Daphne, he had gotten a part time job at a gallery.  Within two years he was promoted to manager and he brought James in as his assistant.  Three years ago, Justin opened his own gallery and James was his partner.  Being off the streets gave James the opportunity to pursue his music.  Being a great jazz sax player, he usually had several gigs a week with different groups.

            Taylor Galleries quickly gained attention in Manhattan, and the partners found themselves ready to expand.  They thought about buying larger space for the So-Ho gallery, but they were attracting so much attention from the Fifth Avenue crowd that they decided to open a second location uptown.  They would be ready to open in about six weeks.

            Jenny kept herself occupied with her coloring books and headphones.  Justin was thankful for the break.  He didn’t want to think about what was waiting for him in Pittsburgh.  He knew Daphne was right about coming clean with Brian, but he still didn’t know if he could.  Brian would never look at him the same way again.  Justin wasn’t proud of having to hustle in his early days in New York, but he wasn’t ashamed.  James had helped him with that, but Justin didn’t know how he could tell Brian.

            Father and daughter came through security, immediately spotting Brian waiting for him.  Brian raised his hand in a small wave.  Justin nodded to indicate that he had seen him.  Jenny saw Brian and ran over to him.  She launched herself into the older mans arms, “Hi Brian!”

            “Hi princess, how was your flight?”

            “It was cool. I’ve never been on a plane before.”

            “Well I’m glad it was fun.  Jenny, this is my son, Gus.”  Brian introduced the little girl to the boy standing beside him.  Gus was the spitting image of his father.  He carried Brian’s detached demeanor, but Jenny was Justin’s daughter and she started talking a mile a minute.  Within seconds, the two were talking like old friends.

            “Hi Justin.”

            Justin gave Brian a small smile, “Hi Brian.”

            The two men didn’t know how to greet each other, so a small smile would have to suffice.  They walked silently to the baggage claim.  The two kids were chattering away, covering the awkwardness their fathers’ felt.

            Bags secured, Brian led the three to his car.  Justin was surprised to see Brian driving a Lexus sedan instead of the jeep.  “No jeep Bri?”

            “No, it wasn’t exactly conducive for driving a three year old and all his shit around.”

            Justin laughed at the comment.  Brian Kinney, family man, who would have thought?  Justin felt the knots build in his stomach as they began to drive the streets of Pittsburgh.  Brian knew that Justin had to have a lot of thoughts going through his mind, so he kept quiet.  Once again, the laughter of their children covered up the silence between the two men.

            Brian pulled up to the house that Melanie and Lindsey had lived in.  Justin looked at Brian with silent questions in his eyes.  “I thought it would be easier for Gus.  This was his home and he was already distraught enough losing his mommies, I didn’t want him to lose his home as well.”

            Justin didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.  Brian led them into the house and began to walk up the stairs.  “Come on, I’ll show you to your rooms.”

            Brian led the three upstairs.  He stopped at one of the rooms.  “Jenny, this is where you’ll be sleeping.”

            He led her into a nice room that had a double bed with an oak dresser.  It was decorated very nicely with mauve wallpaper and a floral trim.  “Why don’t you unpack, you can put your clothes in the dresser.”

            The two men left Jenny unpacking, and Brian led Justin to the bedroom next door.  This room was more masculine, with navy blue walls and cream accents.  “I’ll leave you while you unpack.”

            “Ok … umm … thanks, Brian.”

            Brian just nodded to Justin as he left the room.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Brian sat on the patio smoking a cigarette.  He needed a few minutes alone to collect his thoughts.  He really didn’t expect things to be so awkward with Justin.  He knew that ten years had passed between them, but he thought the revelations they had made that night in New York would clear that up.  Obviously, he was wrong.  He didn’t know what it was.  Had Justin changed his mind after Brian’s visit to New York?  They didn’t really make any decisions, but Brian thought they were on the right track.  Maybe it’s just strange for him being back in Pittsburgh.

            Justin’s voice interrupted his thoughts, “Can I join you, or is this a solitary brooding session?”

            Brian smirked at that remark, “I am not brooding.”

            “Whatever.”

            The two men laughed, maybe things wouldn’t be so awkward after all.

            “So how does it feel being back in the Pitts.”

            “Strange.  It’s harder than I thought.  I don’t know what I expected.  I guess I just thought enough time had passed that it wouldn’t be so bad.”

            “Is it that bad?”

            “I’m just nervous.”

            “That’s understandable.  Debbie is having a ‘family dinner’ on Monday.  Do you think you’ll be up for it?”

            Justin knew Brian was being considerate of his feelings.  “Do they know I’m here?”

            “No, I didn’t want to put that pressure on you.  If you’re not up to it, Gus will miraculously develop a cold.”

            “No, I think it should be ok.”

            Brian nodded.  “What else do you want to do while you’re here?”

            Justin was silent for a moment.  “I want to go to my parents’ grave.  I never went to the funeral, and I’ve never been to their grave.  I think it’s time.”

            “It would probably be good for you.  Do you want to take Jenny?”

            “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea.  At least, not this time, maybe in the future.”

            “Well, I’ll keep the kids, you can take my car.”

            “Thanks.”  Brian noticed the younger man still very subdued.  “I’m going to get Jenny ready for bed.  She’s had a big day.  Good night.”

            Brian watched Justin walk into the house, and wondered if they would ever find their way back to each other.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Justin stood staring at the grave stones.  Jennifer Carolyn Taylor, 1962-2003  Beloved wife and mother.  Craig Daniel Taylor, 1960-2003, Devoted husband and father.

            “Is that true, dad?  Were you a devoted husband and father?  Or did it only count because you disowned your son and were devoted to your daughter?  The one who didn’t disappoint you, or did she?  How did you react when you found out she was pregnant at fourteen?  Did you ever find out that she intended for me to raise her child?  That’s right dad, your queer son is raising your grandchild.  I hope for Jenny’s sake, I do a better job than you did.  I know one thing for sure, I will never reject her.  There is nothing on this earth that she could do or be that would ever cause me to reject her, to turn her away.”

            Justin felt tears fall down his cheeks.  His memories were so mixed up.  He remembered being a kid playing little league with his dad as the coach.  He sucked at baseball, but it was fun because he was with his dad, his dad holding him and reading him a story when he was sick.  Then he remembered his dad hitting him when he found out he was gay.  His dad hitting and kicking Brian.  His dad telling him on the phone, “As long as you are a fag, you are not welcome in this house.”

            Justin fell to his knees as the sobs wracked through his body.  He looked over at his mother’s name.  He traced the letters on the cold stone.  Did she ever miss him after he ran away?  Did she even try to look for him?  Or did she write him off like his father had?  He never knew.  He was always too afraid to ask Molly, and his sister had never volunteered any information. 

            He remembered his mom giving him his first box of crayons.  He pictured their refrigerator always covered with his art.  He remembered his mom trying to be so understanding about his sexuality.  His mom giving him away to Brian.  His mom telling him she had to consider her whole family and not just his desires.  Justin gently lay the bouquet of roses under his mother’s name.  Sterling silver roses, those were always her favorite.

            Molly Kathryn Taylor, 1989-2003, beloved daughter.  That was it, just daughter, not sister.  Even in death, Justin’s existence had been erased from his family.

            “Hey Mollusk.  This is the first time I’ve been here.  I’m so sorry I didn’t come to the funeral, but I think you understood.  Jenny is so beautiful, I brought you a picture.”  Justin placed the framed picture of Jenny under Molly’s name.  “She is so much like you.  She drives me crazy just like you always did.  She understands about you as best a seven year old can.  Daph and I tell her that the mommy that gave birth to her is an angel in heaven so she can always watch her.  You would be so proud of her.  I really miss you, I wish you were here.  I feel so alone.  I’ve been erased from our family.  Did mom and dad ever talk about me?  Did they ever wistfully wonder if I was ok?  Did they ever look for me?  I guess I’ll never know, but maybe I don’t want to.”

 

************************************************************************

 

            Justin got back to Brian’s house around seven.  He just sat at the cemetery for hours.  He walked in and found Brian and the kids having dinner.  Brian heard him come in, and turned around.  “Hey, we were just getting started.  The kids were hungry so we couldn’t wait anymore.”

            “That’s ok, I’m not hungry.  I’m going upstairs to lay down.  Will you get Jenny to bed for me?”

            Brian nodded, “Of course.”

            Justin walked over and gave Jenny and Gus a kiss on the top of their heads and then placed his arm on Brian’s shoulder, and silently thanked him.

            Brian watched Justin slowly walk upstairs, he knew the day’s activities had to have worn the younger man out.  He hoped Justin had found the closure he was looking for.

************************************************************************

 

            Several hours later, Brian couldn’t sleep.  He wasn’t sure why. He usually had no trouble sleeping.  Keeping up with Gus and running Liberty Comics usually wore him out.  He hated to admit it but he wasn’t as young as he used to be.  He stopped in front of Justin’s door.  He was going to peer inside the bedroom to make sure Justin was ok, but stopped himself.  He didn’t want to force himself on Justin.  Brian hoped Justin knew that he could come to him if he needed to.

            Brian went downstairs and was surprised to see the candle burning on the patio table.  He saw Justin’s silhouette in one of the chairs.  The artist was wrapped up in a blanket smoking a cigarette.  Brian quietly slid the patio door open.  Justin looked up.  Brian gestured to the empty chair, silently questioning whether Justin wanted to be alone or not.  Justin just nodded.

            Brian sat across from him.  In the candle light, Justin looked almost ethereal.  Brian lit a cigarette and the two sat in silence for several minutes.  Brian was just about to leave when Justin spoke softly.

            “I wonder if they even missed me.  At the cemetery, Molly’s headstone says ‘beloved daughter.’  That’s it, not sister, just daughter.  It’s like I never even existed.  I started to wonder if the ‘post Justin’ Taylor family was the stuff greeting cards were made of.  Perfect family.  Loving parents.  No faggot for a son.  I’ll bet it was nice.”

            “Justin don’t …”

            “Don’t what Brian?  I’m not like you.  You sliced your family out of your life and never looked back.  I’m not like that.  I had a great family, one that I thought was perfect.  Until they found out I was gay.  Then I was hit by my father.  My mother pawned me off on you.  And when I told her I wanted to come home, she told me I couldn’t.”

            This surprised Brian, “You asked to go home?”

            Justin chuckled, “Yeah, ironic isn’t it?  I told her I wanted to come home on the same day the loft was robbed.  She told me she had an entire family to think about, not just my desires.  I actually lost both the homes I ever had on the same day.  Poetic justice isn’t it.  I left home because I wanted to be with you.  But then when I wanted to go back, I lost everything.”

            Brian wanted desperately to go to Justin, but he didn’t know what to say.  He saw tears falling from the pools of blue, suddenly Justin’s entire body was shaking as he sobbed.  Brian got up from his chair and kneeled in front of Justin.  He simply held the younger man as he cried.

 

************************************************************************

 

            On Monday, Brian had to go to work for a few hours.  He let Justin take the car again.  Justin wanted to show Jenny around his hometown, so he was going to take both kids and would pick Brian up after work.  Brian knew that Justin was nervous about going to Debbie’s for dinner.  The younger man hid his feelings almost as well as Brian, but Brian was the master.

            Justin was emotionally spent after the previous day.  He couldn’t believe he had fallen apart in Brian’s arms the night before.  Brian had held him so gently as he cried.  Justin had never felt so safe.  How could he possibly tell Brian the truth?

            Justin and the kids had a fun day going around Pittsburgh.  Justin took them to places he had been as a kid.  Gus and Jenny hit it off so well, they were like old friends.  Maybe that’s just how it was with Kinneys and Taylors.  He was careful not to go anywhere that would be too emotional.  The day before had been enough.  Besides, he knew dinner that night would be tough and he needed his strength.

            Justin and the kids picked Brian up at five.  They weren’t due at Deb’s until eight, but Brian wanted to go early.  He didn’t want to throw Justin and Jenny into the boiling water.  He figured gradual reintroduction would be better.

            Justin was silent on the ride to Deb’s.  Brian laced his fingers through Justin’s in silent support.  Justin gave Brian a warm smile.  Not quite his “sunshine” smile, but it was a start.

            They pulled up to Deb’s.  Justin noticed there were no other cars there.

            “Brian, are we early?  It looks like no one else is here.”

            “Well, I figured we should get here before everyone else.  That way you get to see everyone one at a time instead of a big production.”

            Justin was amazed at Brian’s consideration.  It was so out of character for the Brian Kinney he had known ten years ago.  He was starting to realize that this Brian was very different.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Brian walked in the front door.  He never knocked going into Deb’s house.  “Deb?”

            “Brian, honey is that you?”

            “Yeah.”

            “In the kitchen.”

            Brian led Justin into the kitchen.  Deb had her back to them.  “Deb, I brought you something.  It’s really late, but here, nonetheless.”

            Deb wiped her hands on a towel, but before she could turn around, she heard a voice she hadn’t heard in ten years.  “Hi, Deb.”

            She whirled around and stared in disbelief.  “Sunshine?”

            Before Justin could say anything, he was engulfed in a warm hug.  He could barely breathe.  “Umm … Deb …”

            She released him and yelled, “Vic, get down here!”

            She hugged him again and Justin saw tears running down her face.  Vic came into the kitchen wondering what the commotion was.  He saw Debbie hugging Justin and was speechless.  Debbie let Justin go and he turned to Vic.  “Hi, Vic.”

            “Well, I’ll be goddammed.  Look what the cat dragged in.”  Vic hugged Justin tightly.  For the first time since arriving in Pittsburgh, Justin felt like he was home.

            Justin noticed a young boy walking into the kitchen.  He must have been about sixteen.  He hung back from the commotion.  Brian was the first to notice that he had entered.

            “Justin, this is Hunter.  He lives here with Deb and Vic.”

            Justin smiled warmly at the kid.  “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

            Hunter just nodded.  He had only lived with Deb and Vic a few months.  Over the years, Deb had taken in many strays and Hunter was the latest.  She had found him hustling on Liberty Avenue one night.  She immediately took him in, got him a job at the diner, and enrolled him in school.  He was still a little uneasy around the family.  He didn’t really feel accepted.  Michael treated him with disdain because he had been a hustler.  The rest just kind of ignored him.  Debbie’s strays never stayed around very long, most just ran away, so they never got close to them.

            One by one, the rest of the gang arrived.  Emmett and Ted were the first.  Justin was surprised to hear they had been a couple for about eight years.  Emmett hadn’t changed at all.  He shrieked for joy when he saw Justin and immediately started crying.  Ted had loosened up a lot since Justin had known him and warmly hugged Justin.  So many questions were flying around, but Brian was successful at deflecting them.  He knew there were a lot of questions that Justin wasn’t ready to answer.  Michael and Ben were the last to arrive.  Shocked would have been an understatement to describe Michael’s reaction to seeing Justin.  He greeted Justin warmly, but the old animosity was still there under the surface.  Michael’s boyfriend, Ben, was very nice and hot too.  The shock of seeing Justin was doubled when everyone was introduced to Jenny.  She was introduced as Justin and Daphne’s daughter and no further explanations were given.

            Dinner actually went very smoothly.  Everyone had lots of questions about Justin’s life in New York.  Justin kept the discussion centered around the present.  He talked about the galleries and his art shows.  He talked about Daphne being a third year resident in the ER at Mount Sinai Medical Center.  Justin watched the family dynamics.  So much had changed, yet so much hadn’t.  He winced everytime Michael made a crack about Hunter hustling.  On the surface, it seemed like harmless teasing.  Joking that he probably made more from one blow job than he did in a week at the diner etc …  Justin saw the expression on the boy’s face and knew what he was feeling.  He hoped for the opportunity to talk to the boy.

            The opportunity came after dinner.  Everyone was heading into the living room for coffee.  Justin said that he and Hunter would do the dishes.  Debbie started to protest but Justin silenced her.

            “When you cook, you don’t clean up.  We’ll handle it.  Come on, Hunter.”

            The boy followed Justin into the kitchen silently.  The two stood at the sink while Justin started doing the dishes.  He looked around to make sure they were alone.

            “Hunter,” the boy looked up at him, “don’t let any one treat you like you’re worthless.”

            The boy started to cop an attitude, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

            “I know what it’s like.  Doing whatever you have to do to survive.  Sometimes, we have to do things we never dreamed we would do. It’s called survival.”

            Hunter looked at Justin in shock and leaned over to him.  “Did you hustle too?”

            “Yeah, in New York.  So I know what it’s like.  Needing to somehow get money for food and a place to stay, but it doesn’t make you worthless.  A good friend of mine taught me that.  Fuck what other people might think.  Fuck what other people might say.  Ok.”

            Hunter nodded and smiled at him.  The two continued doing dishes.  Neither noticed Michael standing in the doorway.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Brian was outside smoking.  He was so relieved that dinner had gone well.  It was very relaxed and everyone was content to hear stories about Justin’s life in New York that the questions were kept to a minimum.  He didn’t hear Michael come outside.

            “Hey, Bri.”

            “Mikey.”

            “Can I ask you a question?” he said, innocently

            “What’s up?”

            “What’s up with Justin?”

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well he’s the trick that made you break all your rules.  Then he steals from you and runs away.  Fast forward ten years and he’s back.  Obviously, with you.  So I’ll ask again, what’s up?”

            Brian rubbed his hand to the back of his neck.  “I don’t know. We’re just seeing what happens.”

            “Well, you might want to think about what you’re getting into.”

            “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

            “I mean it seems he and the ‘littlest hustler’ have a lot in common.”

            What, “What?”

            “I mean they share a common profession.”

            Oh, god no. “What the fuck are you talking about?  Justin owns two art galleries.”

            “Well, I’m sure they were comparing art galleries when Hunter asked Justin if he hustled too.  And I’m sure they were talking about art galleries when Justin said he did.”

            Please, please no, not Justin, please god, please don’t let me have pushed him into that.  Brian spoke menacingly, “Don’t you dare repeat this to anyone.”

            Michael recognized the look in Brian’s eyes. He was serious.  Michael turned and walked in the house satisfied. That would squash Justin’s plans.

            Brian felt his world begin to crumble at his feet.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Brian and Justin were silent in the car on the way home.  Once again, Jenny and Gus talked enough for everyone.  Brian knew he had to ask Justin about what Michael had said, but he was terrified of the answer.  Terrified to hear that it was true, terrified to find out the lengths Justin had been pushed to because Brian was such a coward.

            They got to the house and quickly put the kids to bed.  The two men met again in the living room.  Brian got a couple of beers from the fridge and handed one to Justin.

            “Thanks.”  Brian just nodded and sat down.  “That went really well.  It was really great seeing everyone.”

            “Well, I know they were really glad to see you.”  Brian’s voice held no emotion.

            “Bri, is everything alright?”

            “Yeah, just tired.  You know I was thinking.”

            “Well, that can’t be a good thing.”  Justin was starting to feel like himself again.  Baiting Brian had always been fun.

            Brian rolled his eyes at him.  “I was thinking on my next visit to New York, you could take me to the clubs you worked at.”

            “What?”  Justin felt a sense of dread creep into his stomach.

            “I would just like to see where you worked.  I mean they have to be pretty posh places to pay enough to live in the Big Apple.”

            He knows, but how could he?  “Yeah, they paid pretty …”

            Brian continued as if Justin hadn’t even spoken.  “I know the dancers at Babylon don’t make shit unless they put out, so these New York clubs must really pay a lot if all you had to do was dance.”

            How did he find out?  Hunter?  No, the kid wasn’t alone with Brian the entire evening.  Justin replayed his conversation with Hunter in his head, and then remembered something.  Michael … fuck.  Justin’s defensive walls snapped back into place.  “What do you want to know Brian?  That I never danced in the clubs.  I couldn’t. I was too young.  What do you want to hear?  That I pedaled my ass in Times Square?  That I pedaled my ass in Battery Park?  That I let old perverts suck my dick and fuck my ass for money?  Isn’t that what this pathetic line of questioning is about?”

            “How could you be a …”

            “A whore?  That’s the word you’re looking for, isn’t it?  Someone who sells their body for money?  Well fuck you, Brian, I did what I had to.”

            “You could have asked for help!”  Brian’s temper was starting to rise.

            “From who?  From my parents?  I called them and they basically told me to fuck off!”  Justin was practically screaming.  “From you?  By canceling your credit card, you basically told me to fuck off too.  So you tell me, who should I have gone to?”

            “Justi …”

            “Besides, who are you to talk?”  The bitterness, anger, and hurt that Justin had been burying for ten years was coming out in full force.

            “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

            “You fuck a different guy every night, sometimes more than one.  How is that any different?  At least I made money, what did you ever get from it?”

            Brian’s face was frozen in a mask of steel.  He looked ready to strike at any second.  Justin held up his hand to stop him.  “This was a mistake.  I never should have come back here.  I never should have seen you again.  I’m going to get the next flight back to New York.”

            With that, Justin went upstairs.  Brian grabbed a bottle of Jim Beam and stumbled into his office slamming the door.

 

************************************************************************

 

            Justin got him and Jenny on a red-eye flight to New York leaving in two hours.  He quickly packed and then went to get Jenny up and packed.  The little girl was very confused when Justin told her they were going home.

            “But daddy, I thought we were staying the whole week?”

            “Sweetie, we can’t.  We need to get home.”  Justin started to head downstairs but turned and went into Gus’ room.  He gently kissed the young boy he had named all those years ago.  “Goodbye, Gus.”

            He heard the taxi honk.  He tried to hustle Jenny out the door.

            “Daddy, I have to say goodbye to Brian.”

            “Sweetie he’s working.”  He had seen Brian storm into his office downstairs with a bottle of whiskey.

            “He’ll be sad if don’t say goodbye.”  Not waiting for an answer, she opened the office door.  Brian was sitting on the floor.  Jenny leaped into his arms.  “Brian, daddy says we have to go home, but I wanted to say goodbye.”

Brian looked up and saw Justin in the doorway.  He hugged Jenny,        “Goodbye, Princess.”

            “Jenny, come on the taxi’s here.”  Jenny pulled away from Brian and left the room.  The two men’s gazes locked for a second.  Justin didn’t recognize the look in Brian’s eyes, so he just turned away and walked out.  Brian just sat there as his world shattered around him.  After they were gone, and he was unable to sleep, he replayed the conversation they had had that first dinner at Justin’s place. Shit! He had told me and I had responded, and then I just ignored it, glad he had switched topics. I had heard but I didn’t want to accept it then. Why did I now?

Return to No Wonder