Justin felt Brian’s arm on his.  He froze and the heat from Brian’s touch was like fire on his cold skin.

            “I love you … stay.”

 

Moon so bright, night so fine,
Keep your heart here with mine
Life's a dream we are dreaming

            Justin turned and looked into Brian’s eyes.  They were pleading to him to stay.  His older lover always had this effect on him.  When Brian looked at him this way, he could never say no.  But he had to be strong.  He couldn’t settle for this half-relationship any longer.  If Brian wanted him to stay things would have to change.

            “Why Brian, why should I stay?

 

Race the moon, catch the wind,
Ride the night to the end,
Seize the day, stand up for the light

            Brian knew that Justin had resolved to leave.  His blonde lover had been planning this for weeks.  Brian had noticed the packed suitcases in Justin’s closet when he came home earlier that evening.  Brian believed if he could make love to the blonde artist one more time than Justin would stay.  Brian always communicated better with his body than with his words.  Tonight he knew that he would have to say the words.

 

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do

 

            “Because I am nothing without you.  I have finally learned that the only things I was meant to do in this world is love you.  Nothing else I accomplish matters.  Nothing I acquire means shit if you aren’t there to share it with me.”

 

Heroes rise, heroes fall,
Rise again, win it all,
In your heart, can't you feel the glory?

            “I’m not perfect.  I never will be.  You’ve had me on a pedestal for a long time, and when I fall it disappoints you.  I am not a hero, I am just a man.  I’m the man who loves you … but I am just a man.”

 

Through our joy, through our pain,
We can move worlds again
Take my hand, dance with me

            Brian turned on the stereo and the sounds of a flamenco guitar filled the loft.  “Dance with me?”

            Justin took his hand and Brian led him to the center of the room.  They began to move in time to the music.  It was a dance of love more beautiful than the dance at the prom.  It was filled with love, with promise and it was private.  Private between the two lovers gazing into each others eyes.

 

I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you

            Brian’s eyes spoke volumes to Justin.  The young artist hated himself for doubting Brian, but loving him was so hard sometimes.  There were times when he was so exhausted from trying to be Brian’s lover that all he wanted to do was sleep for days.  But nights like this … nights like this he believed in forever.  For so long it seemed like an illusion and Justin was afraid.  He was afraid to believe in them again because he always had his heart broken.  Pretty soon there would be nothing left.

 

Though we know we will never come again
Where there is love, life begins
Over and over again

            As they expressed their love through the music, Brian sensed Justin’s hesitation, his fear.  He knew he had hurt Justin time and time again.  He never meant to, but it always happened.  He gently wiped the tears that fell from his lover’s blue eyes.  “Believe in me one more time Sunshine.  It’s the last thing I will ask of you.”

            Justin was unable to say anything, but he looked into Brian’s eyes and believed the words he said.  He gave the older man his answer in a kiss.

 

Save the night, save the day,
Save the love, come what may,
Love is worth everything we pay
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I want to spend my lifetime loving you
If that is all in life I ever do
I will want nothing else to see me through
If I can spend my lifetime loving you.

 

I Want to Spend My Lifetime Loving You:  Lyrics by: Will Jennings, Music by: James Horner