Misapprehension

Chapter 2

Let's take it back two years…

The tears were flowing; they had been flowing ever since he had let it sink in that his best friend was not going to come back. He sat in front of the grave silently crying, nervously pulling at the grass around the headstone. It was jet black granite, from far away it was pure black, flawless, but up close it seemed to shimmer, especially in the sun but it was night. Michael loved to come and visit in the dark, it made him feel closer to Brian. He didn't know why, it just did. He glanced over to his right and took in the letters that made up Justin's name, chiseled into white marble and casting an eerie glow in the moonlight, the death date just a few months before Brian's.

"You should see Jenny, she is getting so big. Gus just started kindergarten, he is so smart Brian, you would be very proud of him," he said into the darkness. Brian lay on his back next to him, spread out in the grass above Justin's grave, his head resting on his hands.

"I know, I just saw him yesterday and he is getting big," Brian said to Mikey as he crossed his legs.

"Everyone in the family thinks I should put the loft back on the market. We stopped the sale after the accident but I just don't think I am ready. That's the best part of being in charge of all the decisions, they can't move till I am ready and I don't know if I am ready," Michael said as he gave a small smile, wiping the tears from his face.

"I saw that new guy that you've been getting close to Mikey, what's his name? Ben?" Brian said. "Yeah, well… I think he's perfect for you. He seems to really love you, I say go for it."

"I have been seeing a new guy for a while now Brian. I think you would like him, he is so fucking hot. We are going to move in together, at least I think, I still haven't decided," Michael said. "I have a feeling that you would tell me to just go for it. Actually I know that you would say that. Sometimes I feel like you are still here," Michael said and when he looked at the ground above Justin's grave he felt a chill run through him. He tentatively reached out a hand and then quickly recoiled. "I think I am starting to scare myself," he said with a nervous chuckle as he scanned his surroundings. When he was sure that no one was in the cemetery he lay back on the blanket that he had spread out and closed his eyes.

The air was perfect; the stars were actually visible in the brightly lit city. Michael and Brian lay together in the dark, each thinking and basking in the silence. Brian was almost lulled into a perfect sleep when he felt a hand moving up his chest. He smiled without opening his eyes and grabbed the roaming hand. "I was wondering when you were going to show up sunshine," Brian said as his eyes slowly opened. Justin was lying next to him with his body facing Brian, one leg outstretched on the ground and one leg bent at the knee with his foot flat on the grass.

"You are going to get in so much trouble Brian, you know you're not supposed to come here and you do it anyway," Justin said as he propped his head up on his hand.

"Yeah well I never did play by the rules," Brian said with a smirk. "You're gonna get in trouble too Sunshine, you keep chasing after me."

"Yeah well, have I ever been able to stop myself from chasing after you? Even when I am pissed at you," Justin said as he flopped onto his back and looked up at the sky. The hours dragged on and on, the silence welcomed and comforting. Michael glanced down at his watch and let out a very audible sigh.

"Jeez, look what time it is. I gotta go but I'll try to come back soon. Okay?" he said before he answered himself. "Okay."

As Michael grabbed his blanket and other things Brian and Justin dissipated, they would come back to see him later. Michael stopped his movements as he felt the soft breeze blow through the cemetery. "Brian," he whispered into the night, "Justin." He knew that he was probably pushing it but he was almost certain that they came and sat with him when he came to visit.

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"Gus please come downstairs, you need to eat breakfast before you go to school," Lindsay called as she bounced Jenny in her arms. She walked back to the kitchen wondering what Gus could possibly be doing up there.

"Okay Sonny boy, just because you are in kindergarten doesn't mean that you need to look like a degenerate," Brian said as he looked through the clothes that hung in Gus' closet. Gus sat on his bed and kicked his feet as he watched his daddy go through his clothes.

"Daddy, how come I can't tell mommy that I see you and talk to you?" Gus asked as Brian turned around holding a dark pair of jeans and a black shirt.

"I told you why Gus. If you told them that they would probably take you to the doctor," he told his son. "Here put these on," he said as he tossed the clothes at his young son and watched him change. When Gus finally had the clothes on Brian stepped back to look at him. "You look good Sonny boy," he said. Gus smiled and grabbed his jacket off the hook just as Melanie opened his door.

"Gus sweetie, what are you doing? Mommy has been calling you for a long time now," Melanie said as she looked down buttoning her shirt. She got the last button done and looked up at her son; she saw his outfit and could swear that she had not left him in those particular clothes. "Umm, Gus come on downstairs and eat breakfast," she said as she waited for him to get his book bag. She really could have sworn that that is not what he had been wearing.

"Gus it's so cold in here, do you have the window open?" Melanie asked.

"It's always cold when daddy is here," he replied nonchalantly as he bounded past her and down the stairs. Melanie felt a slight nervousness hit her and closed the bedroom door.

Brian sat back on Gus' bed and leaned against the wall. He loved to be here in this room, it was the one place where he wished he had spent more time. He closed his eyes and thought back to the few times when he had stood in the doorway and watched an infant Gus sleeping. A smile played on his lips as he picked up the unmistakable scent of Justin.

"I told you that you were going to get in trouble if you keep coming down here," Justin said to Brian. He sat on the bed and put his head in Brian's lap. "You know if you keep coming back here eventually you won't be able to go back," Justin said. He knew that was exactly what Brian's plan was. He intended to stay permanently, alive or not.

"How do you know that is not just what I had in mind," Brian said with a smirk.

"Actually, I figured that's exactly what you had mind, Why in the hell do you think I keep following you? I am not gonna let you frolic around without me," Justin said. Brian leaned down and kissed him deeply. Their hands groped each others bodies the passion evident and relentless. "Mmm, stop. We are not going to fuck on Gus' bed," Justin said. Brian was reluctant to pull his lips away, he was very grateful that their sex life had not been affected by their altered states.

"Why not, we've fucked everywhere else," he said as they sat together talking and laughing.

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"Okay, who is next? Gus, why don't you go next? Tell us something interesting about your family," Mrs. Shane said to Gus. He got up from his seat and walked to the front of the class with his head held high. He pulled a hand drawn picture from his book bag and threw the bag onto the floor.

"This is my real daddy and my 'love you' daddy," he said proudly holding the picture up. Some of the kids laughed and others just looked like they could care less. "They are dead," he said as if it was the most normal thing to say. The kids all immediately gave Gus their undivided attention; Mrs. Shane had her mouth ready to say something when Gus continued.

"They are dead but my mommy says they still love me, a lot," he said proudly. "I was sad when my 'love you' daddy died, my real daddy was sad too cause now he was all alone," he told the class. "Then my real daddy died too. My mommy said it was cause he missed his sunshine so much. I missed sunshine too and I wanted to die too so I could be with them," he told the class. Mrs. Shane was not sure if she should let the little boy continue, he was new to her class and she had no knowledge of his family history. He seemed to be completely comfortable with the subject of death.

"Gus, I think that we should give someone else…," she said. Before she could finish Gus was talking again.

"I cried at night cause I missed my daddy and then one night my daddy came and laid down with me. He kissed my cheek and rubbed my back till I fell asleep," he told them. "Now he comes and sees me all the time, we talk and have fun together. My 'love you' daddy comes too and we draw and paint together, it's just like before they died. He even helped me get dressed today," he said proudly.

"My daddy says I can't tell my mommies cause they wouldn't be very happy, he said they would think I was Looney tunes and take me to the doctor but I don't care cause I love them," he said and looked over at Mrs. Shane. The rest of the students clapped and cheered and as Gus picked up his book bag and walked back to his seat they eagerly asked questions.

"Gus, do your daddies really come and play with you?" a little red haired boy asked.

"Yup," he answered.

"Do they fly and wear white sheets with holes in da eyes?" a little girl asked him proudly.

"No, they look like normal, cept they can disappear and not everyone can see 'em, just me," he said as he reached his seat and plopped down.

Mrs. Shane looked out the window at her class as they ran around the playground. Her eyes focused on Gus immediately and she looked around the classroom at all the pictures that the little boy had drawn since he started at the school, the two men in them stood out to her now as they never had before. She knew what she was going to have to do; she would have to tell the school counselor about what Gus had said so that she could see if his parents should be contacted.

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