Pawn of the Sea

Chapter 12

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The next hour or so was a flurry of activity as Garth, Leslie and Alfred got Dick moved up to his old bedroom in the manor. Garth and Dick hardly spoke to one another, letting Leslie and Alfred lead the conversation.

When they were finished Leslie deemed that Dick was well enough for her to head home to get some sleep and then resume her duties at the Gotham clinic, leaving strict instructions with Alfred for Dick's ongoing care.

Alfred also retired to his rooms, citing that he was still not completely recovered from the grueling pace of the last few days. Dick knew better; he knew the older man was giving him and Garth some time alone. Time that Dick was dreading.

Garth was making one more trip up from the cave with the last piece of equipment, leaving Dick alone in his room for the moment. Dick was restless and frustrated with the current state of his body. Never one to sit still, he found all this down time highly irritating, especially since it left him entirely too much time to think.

The others had left him in the wheelchair they had wheeled him up in while Alfred had bustled around getting things ready. Dick gingerly tested his legs and decided they would hold him up for the moment. He stood and moved over to the window, happy to have something to look at beside cave walls. He smiled softly when he saw one of his old stuffed animals, which had been his constant companion when he had first come to live with Bruce. On a whim he grabbed the toy from its spot on the bookshelf and hugged it to him as he gazed down on the manicured grounds of the manor.

After a few moments a sweat broke out across his forehead and he felt himself sway a bit. He made a noise of frustration as he reached out to the bookshelf to steady himself. He felt a hand on his shoulder and automatically went into fight mode, throwing a punch as he turned. Luckily Garth was too quick and Dick was too weak and unsteady for the blow to connect.

Dick visibly wilted when he realized what he had almost done. "God, I'm sorry, Garth," he huffed out as he let Garth lead him over to his bed.

"It is all right. I should have warned you I was there," Garth replied, gently sitting Dick down. "You're hair triggered right now."

"Yeah," Dick agreed gravely as he settled back against the pillows that had been so efficiently fluffed by Alfred earlier.

Garth stood by the bed as both men were engulfed in an uncomfortable silence, looking around the room at anything but each other.

"A childhood toy?" Garth finally asked quietly.

"What?" Dick looked confused and then realized he was still clutching the stuffed toy to his chest. "Oh, um…yeah. I brought it with me when…well, when I came to live here. Alfred must have saved it for me. I found it on the shelf."

"It's good that you have someone who cares enough to preserve your childhood treasures for you. You are lucky."

"Yeah, lucky…" Dick repeated and trailed off while Garth looked away.

They fell silent again for a time and Garth began to walk around the room. Finally he turned back to Dick "I have to go home."

"I understand." Now it was Dick's turn to turn away.

"For the trial, I mean. I have to go home for Braden's trial. Arthur wants me there to testify. Hopefully I won't be gone long."

"I should go too," Dick replied. "I should be there."

Garth shook his head and moved closer to the bed. He started to reach out for Dick, but thought better of it and pulled his hand back. "No. You're in no shape to travel. You already gave your taped testimony and Arthur's Reps think that will be plenty."

"But…"

"No, Dick! I do not want you going anywhere near him!"

Dick unconsciously clutched his animal tighter and looked down. "I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry."

Garth read Dick's tense demeanor and was immediately contrite. He fell to his knees next to Dick's bed. "No, I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have raised my voice. You have nothing to apologize for."

Dick snorted and let out a hollow laugh. "Don't I?" He finally let their eyes meet and Garth's heart stilled when he saw the mixture of fear and pain in his lover's gaze. Dick's face went blank and Garth immediately felt another wall go up between them. "You have no idea what I should be apologizing for." Dick's voice held no emotion and he turned his face away again. "You're right, you should go home. When are you leaving?"

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"You said I have no idea, well then tell me, Robbie. We have to talk about this." Dick looked scared and ready to bolt, but Garth moved to sit on the bed next to Dick and placed a hand on his shoulder, using just enough pressure to ground him, but not to make him feel trapped. "Tell me, love."

Dick finally looked into Garth's eyes. "I can't," he replied with a slight quiver in his jaw. "You'll hate me."

"Dick, no. I could never hate you."

"I can't, Garth. Please don't make me."

Garth took a chance and raised his hand to cup Dick's cheek. "Dick, I can't make you do anything, nor would I ever try. I'm only concerned for you, and for us."

Dick nodded and let his tears fall down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Garth."

Garth leaned in and kissed Dick's forehead. "Perhaps Bruce was right. Some time apart may be good for us."

"He said that?" Dick asked.

"Yes, when he talked me into testifying at the trial. I think he's right, Robbie. I don't want you to feel smothered, but when I'm with you I just want to grab you and hold on tight."

Dick nodded. "I want you to hold me…but…"

"Shhh, no need to explain."

"Barbara told me that I shouldn't push you away. That I should let you love me."

Garth smiled softly. "Well, I suppose she would know something about it."

Dick tried to return the smile through his tears. "Yeah, that's what she said, right after I yelled at her. Made me feel like a giant shit."

"I suppose she knows a few things about that, too."

Dick reached up and took Garth's hands from his face and gripped them tightly. "I don't want to push you away, Garth, Just give me some time."

"All the time you need, Robbie. Whatever you need." Dick yawned heavily and his eyelids drooped a bit. Garth pushed him back against his pillow. "You should sleep."

Garth stood up, but Dick kept a grip on his hands. "Stay for awhile? Until I fall asleep?"

"Of course," Garth replied as he reached for a nearby chair, pulling it over to the bed so he could be close. "Sleep well, love."

"Mmm, love you," Dick murmured as he drifted to sleep.

"I love you too," Garth whispered, and hoped it would be enough.

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"Batman?" Robin said in a low voice.

"Yes?" The other man replied, still looking through binoculars at the dock they were watching for a gun shipment that was supposed to come in.

"Is Nightwing really all right?"

"Yes, of course," Batman replied off handedly, still intent on their stakeout. "You heard what Leslie said tonight. He should be fine."

"Batman?"

Bruce repressed a groan. One of the things that he appreciated about Tim was that, unlike Dick, he understood the concept of a comfortable silence. When Dick had worn the Robin suit Bruce had to constantly remind the boy to cut the chatter. He supposed that Tim was still feeling insecure about Dick's ordeal. "What is it, Robin?" He tried to ask patiently.

"Did that guy rape Di…uh, I mean Nightwing?" Tim asked, trying to be careful about revealing identities as he had been so adamantly taught.

Batman slowly lowered his binoculars and scooted back from his spot at the edge of the building, turning and sliding down so his back was resting against the wall. "Where did you hear that?" he asked Tim who had slid down into the spot next to him.

"I didn't," Tim replied. "It's just that he and Garth have been acting really weird with each other since Dick got his memory back. And you and Leslie and Alfred seem a little weird too, like, I don't know, kind of sad. I was thinking if Nightwing's going to be okay then something else must have happened to him. It was the only thing I can think of."

Batman stared at his young sidekick for a moment. He knew it shouldn't by now, but it sometimes surprised him how astute the younger man could be. "Yes, he was raped," he answered Tim quietly.

Tim didn't reply, but just nodded silently and dropped his head down.

"What are you thinking?" Batman asked as he studied the boy carefully, trying to gauge his reaction. He hadn't really spoken with him about Garth and Dick's relationship and how he felt about Dick being with another man, and he wasn't sure how he was going to take this news.

"It makes me scared for Di…uh…Night…I mean him. I mean we've seen rape victims lots of times and I've always felt so bad for them 'cause usually they're pretty messed up, you know? And he's so strong, but this is a whole different thing, and then there's Garth, and I think Dick really loves him, but how are they going to deal with this?"

Batman put a gentle hand on Tim's shoulder, trying not to grimace at the fact that the boy had slipped and spoken names out loud. "He…they have a lot of friends and family to help them through this. It's how this family gets through anything; one day at a time."

Tim nodded and smiled a little. "Yeah, one day at a time," he repeated.

They heard a truck rumble to a halt across the street and Batman signaled for them to get back into position. Turns out it wasn't what they were looking for, but they stayed in position to keep an eye out for their prey.

"Batman?" Tim whispered again ten minutes later.

"Yes?" Bruce almost hissed.

"I think he'll be okay."

"Me too," Batman replied and then he shot up a hand to signal silence as another truck came to a stop at the dock they had been watching. Time to get back to work.

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Dick awoke on the morning of the trial to what was becoming a routine. Alfred brought his breakfast and helped him get cleaned up. Bruce and Tim stopped by to chat before they left for work and school. Then Dick was left alone while Alfred took care of his other household duties. Roy, Donna and Wally had reluctantly gone back to their homes, jobs and lives at Dick's insistence.

Dick was feeling stronger every day, but his recover was still slow going. The good news was that he hadn't experienced any more paralysis in his limbs for the last day and a half. Hopefully that particular side affect of the poison had worked its way out of his system. Now his worst symptoms were some blinding headaches, a queasy stomach, fatigue and weakness.

He sighed heavily as he threw himself back against his pillow. He felt restless, cooped up and bored. His mind was also on Braden's trial. He hated the fact that he didn't know what was going on with all of that, and at the same time he didn't really want to know. He hated that Garth was there having to relive everything that Dick had to go through and he dreaded what Braden would say if he wound up testifying in his own defense.

Dick picked up his remote, hoping to find something to watch and take his mind off things. He flipped through the channels until a special news bulletin caught his attention. He watched in horror as a pretty reporter, who was standing on a boat, relayed her news.

"It is not known yet how many fatalities and injured there are, but it has been confirmed that a concussion bomb was set off at the House of Justice in Atlantis. Apparently, the building had been filled to capacity, as there was a trial going on of an undisclosed person. Of course, while fire is not an issue, the building was made of stone and has apparently all but collapsed. No one is sure yet who is responsible for the blast."

Dick stared at the TV. "Garth," he mouthed silently. He picked up his cell phone, dialed a number and waited. "Bruce?" he choked out when the other man finally answered.

"I'm on my way home," came the quick reply even as Alfred quickly entered the room to help see his young charge through this latest crisis.

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