Chapter 4

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Brian

Mikey, Emmett and I are sitting in our regular booth at the diner eating breakfast. We take turns silently watching each other as we eat our food.

Finally, Emmett can't take it anymore. "Will somebody please say something?"

We’re silent for a few minutes more and then Mikey starts to tell us a story. "Okay, so it's late and I'm leaving Babylon, and there's this really hot guy. I mean he's like, perfect."

"How perfect?" I ask suspiciously.

He raises his eyebrows at me. "Perfect. And we end up at my place."

Michael proceeds to tell us how the guy works with children, is captain of a water polo team, blah, blah, blah. I'm about to fucking fall asleep when he finally gets to the part were the guy has some kind of Brazilian parasites up his ass. Jesus Christ! Only Mikey can get this lucky. Just what I wanted to talk about at breakfast.

"Ohhh, God," laughs Emmett when Mikey finishes his story. "Well, at least you found out before you got too far."

"Ewww." Mikey shudders.

I look over to Emmett. "What about you?"

"We were just getting started…"

Emmett regales us with how he ended up with a leather daddy undertaker that evening. Good God.

"You went home with…" Mikey starts.

"An undertaker," finishes Emmett, "Mm-hmm."

"I fucked an undertaker once," I interject.

"You did? When?" Asks Mikey.

I ignore his questions. "He told me that sometimes they sew the mouths shut."

"Ohh," responds Emmett, making a face. “What about you Brian? What'd you do?"

Mikey looks at me accusingly as I let my mind wander. Naked Justin sitting on my bed waiting for me to come to him. Rising up to meet my lips in a heated kiss, asking me without words to fuck him senseless yet again. "I made it an early evening," I lie my ass off; because there is no fucking way I can tell them I fucked Justin again. It goes against all my rules and beliefs. I can't even explain it to myself, except that it was, if possible, even hotter than the first time I fucked him. Shit, I am so screwed.

"You know, when I go," Emmett turns to Michael, "Promise you won't let them sew my mouth shut. Because when I get to heaven and I meet Natalie Wood, I want to say, 'Natalie, it's Emmett. What happened that night?"

We all share a laugh until Deb comes over. "Hey," she admonishes us. "Shouldn't you boys be getting to the hospital?"

We all share sobering looks. Right, Ted, hospital. The very thing we've been avoiding talking about all morning. Leave it to Deb to give us a violent shove back into reality. We all remain silent as we pay our bill and leave.

=====================================

"Schmidt, Ted," says Michael to the nurse on Ted's floor.

"Are you family?" she asks.

"Friends," he replies. "Uh, we know he's, like, in a coma and everything, but we'd just like to be with him for awhile if it's okay."

"I'll see," she replies as she heads off to find the granter of hospital visitors or whoever the fuck she needs to ask.

"The nurses' station," says Emmett in a sultry voice. "I used to think it had something to do with radio; all nursing, all the time."

"Hello," a middle-aged lady calls to us from her seat in the waiting area. "I'm Margaret Schmidt. I'm Ted's mother. If you need permission to see him, I'll give it. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

Michael approaches her. "I'm Michael, this is Emmett," he points to us, "And Brian. We're Ted's friends."

"He's still in the coma," she answers. Her face is drawn with worry and sadness. It makes me wonder about mothers who love their sons. I don't have a lot of experience in that department. "He looks like he did when he was a boy," she continues, "when he slept. They don't think he'll come out of it."

Michael, Emmett and I all share a startled glance and then Michael sits down next to her. He's always good in these situations. He always knows what to say. I, on the other hand, am better off keeping my mouth shut in situations like this. That is, of course, unless it would make you feel better if you stuck your dick in it. That's kind of how I deal with this shit.

Ted's mom starts talking again. "I sat by his bed; all night. About five o'clock in the morning, it occurred to me. Loving someone is not the same as knowing them."

I have to look away from her pain. All I can think is at least you love him at all, my mom doesn't know or love me. My attention is caught by a male nurse walking by who's giving me the eye. This is me, dealing with Ted's coma. I know, I'm a shit.

"Brian!" Mikey calls in a frustrated whisper. I turn back to Ted's mom and try to pretend I understand what the fuck she's talking about.

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Justin

I'm face down in my bed, sleeping quite soundly, thank you, when I hear Mom's voice and knocking on my door. "Justin! Justin! You're late!"

"Yeah, right!" I say as I roll over and drag myself out of bed.

"You've got ten minutes," she warns as she starts making my bed.

"I'm taking a shower, okay?" I go in my bathroom and turn on the water. Crap. I realize I used all my shampoo yesterday. I wrap a towel around my waist and go back to my room. "I'm out of shampoo," I tell my mom.

She stands there kind of dazed for a second and then snaps out of it. "I'll get you some," she says and leaves kind of fast. Fuck, I wonder if she's going through menopause or some other weird woman thing. Talk about spacey.

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Brian

Emmett, Mikey and I are standing at the door to Ted's hospital room, peering through the window. Hot nurse is in there and he glances my way before moving to pull the curtain around Ted's bed.

"Who do you think it was?" asks Emmett. "I mean, who, uh, gave him the drugs."

"I bet it was that guy Blake who was cruising him all night," answers Michael.

"Do you think we should tell someone?"

"No," I answer. Christ we all do drugs. Are we gonna rat out someone for doing the same thing we do almost every fucking night? Michael and Emmett look at me and I can tell they know I'm right. I mean the fucker ran, but at least he called an ambulance.

"His mom said she'd call us if there's any change." Michael changes the subject.

"You know, he's a first. The first almost dead guy I sort of had sex with."

"You had sex with Ted?" asks Michael.

"You never had sex with Ted," states Emmett.

"When did you have…?"

"Sort of sex," I cut off Michael. "At this semi-orgy."

"Semi?" Michael is indignant that he doesn't know this piece of information about us. "When?"

"You know that weekend that John-John's plane went down?"

"Oh, God," snorts Emmett, "and they kept showing him on the beach with his shirt off. I didn't know whether to jerk off or weep."

"So, did you, like plan it?" Mikey is still extremely troubled.

I shake my head. "It just sort of happened." He looks at me disbelievingly. "Things do," I retort. Emmett laughs and I explain. "Scott and Kevin, the Todds were there, and then Ted shows up with my taxes. All of a sudden we were doing it and…" I pause for effect, "he even tried to fuck me."

"He's in there!" Mikey says, shocked that I would tell such a story. "His life's like this," he makes an up and down motion with his finger, "down on a screen. It could be us."

"No, it could not be us," I reply adamantly, "because we know better. We know not to believe pretty little blond boys who tell us that it's really good shit, because that's what they all say. Ted didn't know that, and he didn't know that you only do drugs with your friends, because they're the only ones who give a fuck about you." I rest my hands on both their shoulders and look at them pointedly. "Now, I have to go to work," I tell them. "I have to be brilliant."

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Justin

"F. Scott Fitzgerald," states my English teacher, "classic profile, famously handsome, and ‘The Great Gatsby‘, which captures a particular American yearning. And what do I mean by that, hmm?"

I'm really not paying attention. I'm sketching the back of a naked man sitting on a stool. Daphne sees this and starts to giggle, which of course puts the teacher's attention right on us.

"Justin?" he calls. Oh fuck.

The whole class, including Chris Hobbs, looks at me. "Uh, yearning is when you want something really badly. Like so bad it hurts." I certainly know what that feels like, especially since I met Brian.

"Exactly," replies the teacher and I let out a small sigh of relief, "It needs to hurt," he continues, "to be worthy of the word, otherwise it's just wanting. As represented in ‘The Gatsby‘ by the green light across the water," I stare at Chris; boy, do I know about yearning. He is so fucking hot. "You can see it, but you can't touch it." All of a sudden, Chris punches his friend in front of him in the arm and the guy hits him back playfully. "Mr. Hobbs!" says our teacher, "are your parents really paying for you to have another testosterone outburst?"

"I wasn't doing anything," answers Chris.

"Exactly," responds the teacher, "but you will be after school."

"I have football practice," protests Chris.

"Not today. Today, you'll be cleaning out the athletic room." He addresses the class again. "The only thing we fight about in this room, Mr. Hobbs," he holds up his book, "is interpretation."

I look at Chris again. I think I'll pay a little visit to the athletic room after school today.

===================================

I step inside the equipment room and see Chris with his sleeves rolled up slamming a pile of stuff onto a table. "Need some help?" I ask with a smile.

"This sucks!" he complains.

"Yeah," I agree. "They need you at practice."

"How do you know they do? I thought you weren't into like sports and shit."

"Some."

"Yeah, well, you sure keep it a secret. I'm supposed to get all this shit cleaned up out of here." I don't answer him, but reach down and lift a large box full of football gear onto the table. "Wow, you're strong," he comments.

"That's my other secret," I smile at him.

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Brian

I'm sitting at my desk trying to concentrate, but no fucking ideas are coming to mind. I'm a great ad man and that's the fucking truth. Usually an account like this would be a piece of cake for me, but I haven't been able to think for shit today. "I can't do this fucking copy," I say out loud to myself in disgust as I toss the papers down on my desk.

"Excuse me for barging in." Fucking great, Melanie's here. She walks into my office and practically slams her briefcase onto my desk. "This won't take long. As you may or may not know, I'm Ted's lawyer."

"So." I reply.

"So," she answers, "you need to know that Ted made a living will. Do you have one?"

What the fuck? Did she haul her dyke ass all the way down here to bug me about a will? I'm sure they want to make sure they can get more money when I'm dead. Apparently, the million dollar insurance policy wasn't enough. Of course it's all for Gus. "No." I say shortly.

"Well, you should," she replies just as succinctly, "but, I'm not your lawyer, I'm his." She holds a document out to me, which I ignore. She drops it on my desk and continues. "Anyway, he's made you responsible."

For his porn collection? "For what?" I ask.

"For deciding, should he ever be incompetent or unable to make a decision, whether to be kept alive by extraordinary measures or be permitted to die."

Fuckin' A. "Are you telling me that Ted wants me to decide whether or not to pull the plug?"

Mel pulls a face. "Tried to talk him out of it."

"And how long have you known about this?"

"It doesn't matter how long."

"Yeah, it does. I'm this secret you two have been sharing. When were you planning on telling me?"

"I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That the situation would never arise."

"Well it has," I bark out. "It's arisen now!" I stand up to face her down.

"And now you know."

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Justin

I come back into the room and toss Chris a Pepsi. He opens it and it sprays a little. He takes a drink and then holds the can out to me. I reach out and let both our hands linger on it before I take it and drink.

I sit down next to him and we start sharing gossip about the other kids at school. "Suzanne Shepley," he says, "big whore. She'll blow you, but she won't fuck if you're in this school. Only if you go somewhere else, preferably Catholic."

"She seems like a dyke to me."

"Oh man, she's not a dyke. She's a whore. There's a difference." We both laugh. He looks at me for a minute. "So you know Mary Francis Cutaluto? She comes over to interview me for the school paper about being this great athlete and shit. It's four o'clock and my mom won't be home until six. So I tell her what a touchdown is like and she grabs my dick."

"No," I say.

"Yeah, she went for it. Not only that she unzipped my fly and she's got my dick," he moves his hand down to his crotch and starts to rub. "She's got all these rings on. They're cold, but her hand's warm, and she's rubbing…and rubbing."

Fuck, he's jacking himself off and I am so fucking turned on. I can't even tell you. Then he starts talking again. "And then she's gotta go home, and I…I" his eyes are closed as he keeps touching himself.

"You're hard," I say. He doesn't answer or open his eyes. I move my hand over and cup his crotch. When he doesn't protest, I quickly unzip his fly and start to pump his cock. God, this is so fucking hot. I keep stroking him until he finally comes. We just sit there for a few moments and then we hear the door opening.

"Oh shit!" he exclaims as he moves quickly to zip up his fly.

Our English teacher stands there. "Shouldn't you be working?" he asks Chris.

Chris jumps up fast. "I, uh, I am working, Mr. Horner" he says as he moves away from us.

I just sit there and smile up at my teacher.

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Brian

I find Emmett and Michael in the steam room and make my way over, throwing myself down on the bench beside them. "Why me?" I ask. "Why not his mother?" I look over to Emmett. "Why not you?"

"Because I can't decide what to wear in the morning," he shoots back. "Who in their right mind would give me power over life and death?"

"I couldn't do it either," comments Mikey.

"I don't even like Ted," I add stubbornly.

Mikey rolls his eyes and calls me on my shit. "Oh, come on, you do so."

"Well, not enough to be responsible for his fucking life," I argue.

"Well, he must have wanted you for a reason," says Emmett.

"Maybe he's secretly in love with you," Mikey adds.

Oh, seriously, shut the fuck up, Mikey. "I love you. I'm comatose. Kill me," I respond to my best friend's absurd comment.

"It's not over yet, Brian. He could still wake up."

Yeah, right, Mikey. You just keep getting your fucking hopes up. The fucker is not going to wake up. Probably just to spite me.

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Justin

"Chris?" Daphne laughs. "No way!"

"Then don't believe me," I say. We're lying on my bed in opposite directions, with our heads together in the middle.

"But I thought you were in love with that Brian guy."

"Me and Chris," I explain to my best friend. "That's not love, Daph. That's just fucking." And it was hot. Damn Mr. Horner for interrupting.

"Oh, and I thought it was detention. "We both laugh.

"Justin," my mom calls from outside my door.

Daphne sits up. "Oh, I gotta go." I stand up with her and my mom walks in the room. "Hey, Mrs. Taylor."

"Hi, Daphne." Daphne leaves and Mom looks at her watch. "Didn't you have art club this afternoon?"

"I quit art club."

"You love art club."

"I'm not interested."

"Since when?" Mom asks in frustration. "Just last week you…"

I cut her off. "You don't know everything about me. A week's like a long time. Things can change in a week." Like I could have sex for the first time and fall in love with a totally hot guy. Oops, guess I can't share that little tidbit of info with dear old mom.

"Well, I thought you might like to know I'm going to Nike Town, but you're probably not interested in that either."

Oooh, new shoes. "When?" I ask her.

"Now. You can drive."

=====================================

"You're a good driver," Mom comments as we make our way out of our neighborhood.

"Better than you," I retort. She shoots me a look and I start to chuckle.

She soon joins in the laugh. Before I know it, she's reaching for the dash. "Okay, slow down. This is a bit too fast."

Oh, my Lord, what a spaz! "This is normal," I complain. "And you just said I was a good driver." Mom looks at me with a weird expression on her face. "What?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "Nothing." She continues talking anyway. "It's just nice; you laughed. It's been awhile."

I decide to take her mushy mood as an opportunity. "You know, maybe you could get another car and let me have this for school."

"Oh, just hand it over, huh?" I nod. "I was twenty before I had a car. I was going out with Jay McLachlan. He could have been your father."

"That's stupid," I retort, a little pissed that she's changed the subject off the car. "I wouldn't be me."

"He was my first real boyfriend," she continues.

"I'd be totally someone else."

"I learned with him what a kiss really was!"

Okay, that's way too much information. "Gross!" I exclaim. She laughs at me. "Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"Well, now you do," she answers. "So, do you have a boyfriend, Justin?"

Fuck, fuck, fuck! It's all I can do not to drive off the road. I can't answer her. I don't even know what to say. I am so fucking not ready to have this conversation with her.

Finally, she says something. "You can tell me. I promise you, I won't tell your father."

"I don't!" Fuck, am I that obvious? How does she know?

"Then, who's Brian?"

I turn to stare at her. How in the fuck does she know about Brian? Fuck! I have to get out of here! I pull over to the side of the road, put the car in park, get out and start running. I can hear her calling my name, but I don't care. All I can do is run.

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Brian

Lindsay opens the door with Gus in her arms. "I don't have a lot of time," I say as I walk past her into the house.

"You have time to kiss your son," she admonishes as she places him in my arms. He's sleeping and he looks so peaceful as I kiss him gently on the cheek. I'd give anything to trade places right now.

"Hey, honey, his bath's ready," Mel calls as she comes down the stairs. She stops when she sees me. "Oh, did we know he was coming?" she asks Lindsay.

"No, we did not know," I retort as I hand Gus back to his mother.

"Well, it'd be nice if you'd call first," she says to me before turning her attention back to Lindsay. "As I said, his bath's ready, so if you want me to take him…"

I can't take any more of this domestic bliss. Not when I've got something so much more important to say. "I don't give a shit what Ted wants!" I yell. "I'm not doing it, understand?"

She lets out a sardonic chuckle. "I told him you'd be this way."

"He has a mother."

"Would you wish this on yours?"

Ha! That's a loaded fucking question to ask me. I choose to ignore it and stick to the point. "He has better friends."

"Well, that's for god damn sure," she retorts.

Gus starts to cry. "Melanie, would you please?" begs Lindsay.

Mel turns on her. "Look, did I barge in here at bath time? Was that me?"

"Fuck bath time and fuck you," I tell her. Christ, she can be such a bitch.

"And fuck you!" she points at me.

"Just stop it, both of you," now Lindsay's pissed as well.

"So, let's cut to the chase," I say. "Find somebody else. His mommy, or Michael, or Madonna. I don't care who."

"But he chose you," Lindsay reminds me.

"Well, he chose wrong," I retort.

Mel puts her hands on her hips. "Yeah, that's what I said to him. I said, Brian is not the person you want responsible for your life. He's a selfish, narcissistic, little fucking faggot! And let me tell you something, it's not because you suck cock, it's because you're a little fucking coward! So go. Get out. Now!"

I look at her and then over at Lindsay, who remains silent. I turn to leave and Melanie follows me to the door, slamming it behind me. Well, fuck, that could have gone better. And in the end, I'm still stuck with Ted's life in my hands.

=============================

I make my way to one of my haunts for a little relief of the sexual kind. I move into the room full of naked and half naked men, wanting nothing more than to forget. It doesn't take long before I'm approached and three guys are kissing me and pulling at my clothes. I try to lose myself in the sensation of their touch. Suddenly I pull away from them. I can't fucking do this. Fuck Ted and fuck Melanie! I pull my jacket back on, slip on my sunglasses and push my way out the door, back into daylight.

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Justin

"She knows!" I say frantically to Daphne as I take a drag of my cigarette. "My mom knows!" Of course this is where I ran. Where I always run when my life is for shit.

"Oh shit!" Daphne exclaims.

"I've gotta find Brian!"

"What for?"

"He'll know what to do."

"Like he cares," Daphne answers skeptically.

He does care. She hasn't seen us together. "He wants me," I tell her.

"How can you tell?"

"Because I can. I'm gonna live with him. I'm gonna be with him. You'll see. Now, please, you've gotta help me." I know if I can just find him that this will all go away.

"I'm grounded!" exclaims Daphne. "My mom said she better come home and find me reading Toni Morrison." I shoot her my best puppy dog look. She looks to the house and looks away. "Well, they don't get home until seven," she smiles, "and you do beat ‘Beloved‘."

We move to get in her car. I knew she would do it. Brian will save me, I just know it.

We get to the loft, but he doesn't answer the intercom system and I start to panic. Daphne's leaning out the window of her car. "Justin, I have to go home!"

"But I have to find him!" I can't go home now. No way.

"Well, what about the crazy lady?" asks Daphne. You know, the weird one. From the diner."

"You mean Debbie?" Fucking brilliant! I have Daphne drive me to the diner, but Debbie's not working tonight. I manage to sweet talk the waitress on duty into telling me where she lives. Daphne kicks me out of her car and speeds home to try to beat her parents there. I stand there for a minute and finally get up enough courage to knock.

Debbie opens the door and stands there in a loud, flowered shirt. "Don't tell me," she says. "Brian? Am I right?" I nod. "Come on in," she moves into the house, "I'll make you a sandwich."

"Actually, I just need to know how I can…"

"And don't talk," she calls back to me. "I can figure it all out." She motions me into her kitchen. "Have a seat, honey. Right there. She picks up her phone and starts to dial. "Michael?" I shoot her a frantic look. "It's me," she continues, "You've got mail."

Oh fuck. Now I'm screwed.

==================================================================

Brian

This time it's Lindsay coming to visit me. "I just wanted to let you know that Melanie feels terrible about what she said."

Yeah, right. "Do you think I care?" I ask.

"Look, it's upsetting for all of us," continues Linds, "but at a time like this, we could try showing a little compassion. Especially for Ted. Is there any word?"

"The machines say he's still alive."

"Poor guy."

"What about us?" I ask her. "We don't have any beeps or dots or little white wires telling us we're alive. So how do we know? I guess we just take each other's word."

"Maybe we know from what people expect from us. I mean, take Gus, he needs me to feed him, to change him. Knowing that tells me I'm alive. So, for me, right now, it's him."

"What about me?" I ask her.

"Ted needs you now. So maybe that's what tells you you're alive." I look down and she reaches up and cradles my face in her hands. "You'll do the right thing. Whatever it is."

"You don't know that."

Lindsay kisses me and leaves, then I get dressed and reluctantly head to the hospital.

================================

I stand at Ted's bedside and study his still form. I reach out and move my hand in the air close to his face. "Fuck you," I say as I move my hand downward then back up, "fuck you," I take my hand away. "Fuck you," I breathe out again, "for going home with some tweaked out little twinkie and thinking you got lucky."

I bend down and lean on the rails of his bed putting my face close to his. "Did he let you eat his ass? Did he let you suck his cock? Well, I hope it was worth it. And fuck you for choosing me. I ought to let you lie here forever. How would you like that?

"Can you hear me?" I ask and then sigh when obviously there is no answer. "You know, you're not so bad looking. In fact, you look better this way. You should die more often…or live, so I don't have to say yes. Yes, I'll do it. I'll give you what you want, what you need. But don't think it's for you; it's not. It's for me."

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and it's the male nurse I had been checking out earlier. He just looks at me and he must be a fucking good nurse because sexual healing is exactly what I need right now. I attack his lips and then we are ripping our clothes off while making our way to the other bed in the room, which is thankfully vacant. He lies down and I practically leap on top of him as we kiss and rub each other into a frenzy.

Suddenly, we hear a noise from the other side of the room. It sounds oddly like Theodore. And he's cussing. That must mean he's not an angel. Yet. Hot nurse quickly gets dressed and heads around the curtain to investigate. Turns out Ted has awoken from his coma. Sexual healing, indeed.

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Justin

I sit at Deb's table wolfing down the sandwich she made me. I know I said I didn't want it, but then I realized I hadn't eaten anything since I got home from school that afternoon and I am fucking starving. The only thinking keeping me from totally enjoying my food is Mikey, bitching at me.

"This is my house," he whines, "You've got your own. Go home."

"I can't," I mumble around a mouthful of food.

"What?" asks Michael.

I look up at him. "I can't. My mom knows," I tell him like he's an idiot.

Vic is sitting across from me at the table and Debbie is standing behind him. "Well, she can go to my PFLAG group at the center, every other Tuesday. I'll get her a t-shirt and a button."

"Ma, please," Michael begs.

"Ma, please, what?" Debbie yells. "I am proud to have a gay son!"

"We know," Michael yells back.

"And brother!" Debbie continues as she hugs Vic from behind.

"Thanks, sis," he says as he takes a pill.

"I've always said it's not who you love, it's how you love," she goes on. "Genitalia is just God's way of accessorizing." Vic chuckles in his sister's arms.

Michael is not amused. "This is not about you and the gay mother of the year award. It's about Brian's one night stand!"

"Not just one," I say with my mouth still full of food.

"Don't bet on it!" he retorts. If he only fucking knew. "And who here even cares?" he asks.

"I do," says Vic as he gives me a playful stare.

I think I've found an ally in the older man so I turn my attention to him. "My dad threatened to disown me," I lie. "He called me a big queer."

"He didn't hit you, did he?" asks Vic seriously.

"Oh, come on, Uncle Vic," Michael pleads. "You're not going to listen to this shit."

"That's why I have to see Brian," I explain. "He'll let me stay with him."

"I don't think so," retorts Michael.

Shit! What part of 'my mother knows' are they not getting here? "Well, then, I'll go to New York. I'll become hustler and sell my body to gross old homos!"

Vic leans forward. "I'll give you twenty bucks." Debbie hits him on the back of the head and it would be funny if I weren’t so fucking freaked out. "Save him the train fare," Vic says as he looks up at his sister.

I stand up. "I'm gonna' throw up! I gotta vomit!"

"Upstairs bathroom," Debbie points at the ceiling, "the one for guests and drama queens." I run out of the room and up the stairs, needing to just be alone until Brian comes for me; like I know he will.

I find a room that must be Michael's old bedroom, judging from the décor. Debbie obviously doesn't believe in change. I spot a bulletin board on the wall and I go to investigate. There's a picture that catches my eye and I reach out and take it off the board to study it. It's an old picture of Brian and Michael when they were kids, probably, like my age. Wow. Cool.

==================================================================

Brian

I race to Deb's and slam into the house after Mikey's phone call. How the little shit found out where she lives is beyond me. "Hi," I call out as I come in. "How did he find you?" I ask Deb as I reach out and place a gentle hand on Vic's shoulder in greeting.

"They all find her," bitches Mikey as Deb throws up her arms. "And now he won't leave. You gotta do something."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Like, get him out of my house," yells Michael. "He's upstairs."

"All right. I'm going." Christ, I don't why he's letting himself get so worked up over one fucking kid.

"This is not how I wanted to spend my evening.” Fuck, he's still bitching. I fucking get the clue already, Mikey.

I decide it's time to distract him. "By the way," I smile at all of them before I run up the stairs. "Ted woke up. He's gonna be okay."

I find Justin in Mikey's old room. He turns to face me when I walk in. "What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"Waiting for you," he says with a slight smirk on his perfect mouth. He moves to kiss me but I move away. He tries again, but I don't let him. No way, kid. You're not the one calling the shots here. He looks so hot in the dim light of the bedroom. This time I kiss him and he returns it wholeheartedly.

He pulls my shirt off my shoulders and then goes down on his knees to undo my jeans. He rises back up for another kiss, and another. I rip his shirt off and then I'm attacking his neck. Fuck, I don't know what it is about this kid, but it's like I can't control myself. He moves back down, keeping eye contact with me as he goes. Christ, that's so hot. Finally, he sucks my dick into his hot mouth and I'm gone. I swear he was born to suck cock.

=======================

We finally make our way back downstairs and into the kitchen. Justin grabs a handful of chips off Michael's plate as he walks by and over to Debbie.

"I'm calling your mother," Deb says to him, "and taking you home."

"I'm not going," he answers defiantly and I wait for the fireworks. Kid's got a lot to learn about Deb, that's for fucking sure.

She moves in on him, pointing that damn finger right in his face. I cringe to think how many times I've been on the receiving end of that finger. "You get my tits in a knot, Sunshine, and you're going to be in deep shit. Excuse me," she says as she pushes him out of the way and goes to get ready.

Justin throws himself into a chair like a drama queen. Vic looks at him. "What are you studying in school?"

Justin looks at him like he's a fucking alien. "Hmm?”

"It's called conversation," Vic retorts.

I chuckle. Good old Vic. Justin could learn a lot from him. I know I have. I look over at Mikey and he looks fucking pissed. What the fuck?

Deb comes back in with her coat on. "Ready?" she asks.

"I need to talk to Brian," says Michael. "I'll be there in a second."

Deb motions to Justin and he stands up and follows her out of the room. He mouths 'bye' to me as he passes, strutting just a little bit.

Michael watches them go and when the door shuts behind them, he turns his attention back to me. "Do you have anything to say?"

"No," I reply, holding his gaze.

"Well, I do. You can fuck him at your place, you can fuck him at gym class, you can fuck him at the zoo, but you cannot fuck him in my mother's house. In my room!" He is so pissed.

"We're waiting!" comes Deb's voice through the door.

Mikey glances her way and then back to me. "Okay, I'm going to go do this little job, and then I'm going to see Ted at the hospital. You do whatever the fuck you want."

He walks away. I have to adjust my whole psyche now, because I believe that is the first time he's ever yelled at me like that. Like he is truly pissed at me. What the fuck is it about this fucking kid? And why the fuck can't I just turn him away?

==================================================================

Justin

"Nobody knows if it's nature or nurture; being gay," expounds Deb as we head towards my house in Michael's car.

I'm in the back seat and I take the opportunity to smile sweetly at Michael in the rearview mirror. Tormenting Brian's best friend is a game I'm becoming rather fond of; and good at, if the expression on his face is any indication.

"Now they're all saying you can tell by the length of the index finger," Deb continues her lecture. "Although all of Michael's fingers are perfectly normal. He should have three kids and a beer belly and he's about as gay as you get." She looks back at me, laughing, and I can't help but join her.

"Ma!" Michael chastises. "Give it a rest!"

We finally get to my house and shit, I don't want to go in. Debbie and Michael get out of the car and I slowly follow. I drag my feet all the way to the door and hang back by the garage while they ring the bell. I hear Deb say something about chimes, but I'm so fucking scared I'm not even listening.

I see my mom open the door and I push my way through Deb and Michael to get into the house. I know I'm being an asshole, but I just can't deal with mom right now. I don't even want to know what Deb is going to say to her. Shit. The thing that's going to save me is that she won't be able to make too big of a fuss while my dad's here. I head to my room and lock myself in for the night so I can try and figure out what in the fuck I'm going to do.

==================================================================

Brian

Emmett, Michael and I escort Ted into his condo. Michael and Emmett insisted that we all bring him home from the hospital.

Emmett turns to Ted. "Now, say it three times and click your heels. 'There's no place like home.'"

"You know," says Ted. "You guys really didn't have to do this. All the flowers and the groceries.

Michael puts his arms out. "One stop shopping at the Big Q Mart."

"It's nice," replies Ted as he moves a lamp back into place, "only, can anyone tell me why I had to stay there three days after I woke up?"

"They wanted to make sure you were still alive," replies Emmett.

"On your best days, it's hard to tell," I feel I must add.

"Hey," Michael approaches Ted, "just so you don't freak out. Your dildos are missing, and your porn. We had to move it all in case your mom found it."

Ted nods. "Well, I expect all thirty-three back; cleaned."

"You should eat something, honey," coaxes Emmett.

"Not hungry."

"We bought you a whole fucking chicken," chides Michael.

"And you're gonna eat it," I toss in.

Ted wanders off into his bedroom and Michael follows while Emmett and I finish up in the kitchen. They've been in there a fucking long time and I finally get impatient and go to get them. I stick my head in the doorway. "Are you going to come eat the chicken?" I ask.

Ted looks at me almost gratefully and Mikey looks more than ready to leave. "I'm going to arrange the daisies," he says as he practically runs from the room.

I turn to leave, but I'm stopped by Ted's voice. "I saw you. Fucking. When I woke up." Oops. I walk further into the room as he continues. "I thought; I'm in hell. And this is my punishment. Watching Brian Kinney fucking for all eternity."

I put my arm around him. "You should be so lucky." He looks up at me and I step back a bit. "Why me? Why did you choose me?"

Ted looks at me and shrugs as I sit on his bed. "My mother couldn't do it. Michael and Emmett couldn't do it, but you could. Because you're a heartless shit, you could pull the plug and you wouldn't cry. And you'd know when it's time to go." He gently touches my cheek and leaves the room and all I can do is sit there and try to absorb what that says about me.

==========================

Later, Mikey and I are at Babylon, dancing the dance that we've done for years.

"I want it to be you," I say to him.

"What?"

"I want it to be you. I'll put it in writing."

He smiles at me and I know he gets it. "I want it to be you, too. You pull my plug."

"And you pull mine."

And we keep on dancing, just like we always do.