Chapter 11

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Brian

"Hey, see that guy?" I wrap my arm around Mikey's neck and point to an old leather daddy crossing the street. "He just turned thirty." Emmett and Ted laugh and Mikey just groans as we keep walking toward the diner. "That's what you're going to look like in a couple days, Mikey," I add as I tickle his ribs.

"Oh, don't listen to him," states Emmett. "You look like you're ten."

"Yeah, but this strange thing happens on your thirtieth," I say. "You look great the night before, but then the next morning, your ass is down to there." I point to the ground. "And your dick disappears!" I grab Mikey around the waist and he laughs.

"Well, I'm thirty-three," comments Ted. "What does that make me?"

"Uh, did you guys just hear something? A voice from the dead?" I ask Emmett and Mikey.

"I'm glad I didn't move in with David," Mikey says as we make our way to a booth in the diner. "Who knows how much time I have left?"

"Well, perhaps you were lured by the prospect of all that chiropractic sex," Ted states.

"The sex wasn't all that great," Mikey claims as he slides into the booth.

"I seem to remember something about a talented tongue," Emmett reminds him.

"Yeah, and fantastic fingers," adds Ted.

"Orgasms that wouldn't quit." Emmett smiles.

"All right!" Mikey gives up. "The sex was great. It just gets boring, you know, with the same person, after awhile."

"I wouldn't know," I reply.

Mikey smiles. "Well, now I'm ready to do all those things you can't do with a boyfriend, like go to the clubs, go out dancing…"

"Go home alone," Ted interrupts him.

I look across the diner and spot a certain blond boy. "Hey, bus boy!" I yell. Justin turns from the table he is helping and shoots me the finger. Emmett and Ted crack up. "Do you think we could get some water?" I call to him again. He gives me a dirty look and turns away again.

Deb laughs as she comes to our table with her hands on her hips. "What is he doing here?" Mikey asks his mom vehemently.

"Isn't he adorable?" she asks, unfazed by his annoyance. "The customers love him. His ass gets more compliments than the burgers."

"Cause his buns are fresh," quips Ted.

Deb hits him with her order pad and Justin makes his way over with our waters. He's carrying them with his fingers actually in our water. Nice. He sets the glasses down and Emmett slaps his hand.

"Jesus," Mikey grouses. "You live in my room at my mother's house, you work where I eat. I can't get rid of you."

"Blame him." Justin leans across the table and flicks water on me. "He's the one that's making me do this."

"He's just paying off the charges he made on my credit card," I say, giving blond boy a pointed look.

"Couldn't we just send him to prison?" asks Mikey

"This is worse," cracks Deb. Justin laughs and smacks her lightly as he walks away. "So, where's David?" she asks her son.

"Um, I think he had a patient," Mikey says, not meeting Deb's eyes.

She plants her hands back on her hips. "Don't bullshit me."

I come to my friend's aid. "It ran its course, Deb. Leave it alone."

She eyes Mikey for a moment and then miraculously lets it drop. "Okay, so, Emmett. How about those blueberry-banana pancakes you love so much?"

"Ooh, goody!" Emmett claps.

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Later at the gym, Mikey and I are heading into the steam room. "They threw me a birthday party at work today," he tells me.

"Awww, that's cute," I answer as I throw myself onto the bench.

"Right. Like that's supposed to make me happy. Knowing all my best years are behind me." He turns to me. "You're not planning some hideous birthday surprise, are you?"

"Why would I want to celebrate a tragic event like that?" I ask.

"Good, cause I want that day to pass without a single reminder that I'll never be young and cute again," he whines as he pinches the skin on his stomach.

I'm eyeing the two hot gentlemen right across from us. "Well, maybe you should have kept the good doctor around. You'll always be younger than him. And cuter."

"I thought you couldn't stand him," he retorts.

"When did I ever say that?"

"Every chance you got."

"Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all," I reply.

"Well, now's a hell of a time to tell me."

"Why? You didn't break up with him on account of me, did you?" Christ, Mikey.

"Of course not," he replies quickly.

"That's good," I reply. "'Cause we can't spend the rest of our fucking lives hanging out together."

I stand up and walk out, leaving Mikey behind, knowing that the two guys I've been eyeing will be right behind me.

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Justin

I come in the house and head into the kitchen. Michael is there and Deb is standing at the counter unloading bags. He must have brought stuff from the Q Mart for her. "Sunshine," Deb calls.

"Hmm?" I ask as I approach my target, the fridge. I'm starving.

"Here." She thrusts two boxes of tissues in my hands. "Take these on up to your room."

"Okie doke," I answer.

"My room," complains Michael. I can't believe he still isn't over this.

"Come on, sweetie," says Deb as I grab my snack out of the fridge. "Back off. You're about to be thirty years old."

"So old," I mouth to Michael as I walk past on my way to my room.

"Don't remind me," he says to Deb as he glares at me.

"So old," I mouth again before I make my escape. God, teasing him is just too easy, and fun. I can almost forgive Molly for all those times she made my life hell. Almost.

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Brian

"You've ruined my kid's life!" Deb storms into my loft.

"What, not even a hello kiss?" I ask her snidely.

"I mean it!" she yells at me. "You got something fizzy?" she asks in a more normal tone. I roll my eyes and make my way over to my fridge. "I remember the first time I heard your name," she continues. "Michael says, 'There's this new boy in school, Brian Kinney.' For weeks, it was all he could talk about; Brian Kinney this and Brian Kinney that." She waves her arms around dramatically. "Next thing, you're cuttin' classes. And then I come home for work one day and find the two of you, fourteen and drunk." I hand her a glass. "It was then I knew you were trouble. And you haven't disappointed me a day since then."

"Well, at least you can't accuse me of being inconsistent," I tell her as I sit down.

"Consistent heartbreak," she replies.

"Come on, Deb. You know I look out for Mikey."

"I never said you weren't there for him. You've been there too much!" Her voice rises again. "Always giving him those little extra tidbits of your affection, huh?" I start to squirm in my seat a bit. "To make him believe that maybe someday you'd be his."

"Well, who knows? Maybe we'll end up a couple of old queens in Palm Springs." I shudder slightly at the thought.

"Only, what's he supposed to do until then?" she asks bitterly. "He had a chance with David, but you had to fuck it up!"

"He wasn't having any fun," I defend.

"He's had enough fun!" she snaps. "You've all had enough fun!" No such thing, Deb. "It's time for him to be a man."

I start to get mad. Why in the fuck is everyone else my responsibility all the time? "What do you want me to do about that?" I ask her.

"Well, I don't know!" she cries. I can tell she's close to tears. "Somethin'! You owe my kid somethin'!"

Fuck. Fuck. Maybe she's right. I owe him more than she knows. I owe him everything. And her too, come to think of it.

"Okay," I say to her. "You win. I'll do something." I pause and think for a second. "It's Mikey's thirtieth birthday. He should have a party he never forgets."

She just stares at me for a moment and all I can hope is that someday, he will forget and forgive.

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I pull into the good doctor's driveway and climb out of my Jeep. As I pop up my umbrella over my head, Doctor Dave himself comes jogging up.

"Hey, Doc," I say. "You got all sweaty without me."

"Yeah, I went for a jog," he replies in a guarded tone.

"Yeah, I know how hard it is to stay in shape after a certain age," I reply.

"Look, I know you wouldn't come all the way out here just to insult me," he cuts through the bullshit. "And we're not battling for Michael's attention anymore. You won. So, why are you here?"

"You forgot to RSVP. You know, the surprise party. I called and left a message."

"Oh, yeah, well I thought that was a joke."

"Why would it be a joke?" I ask innocently.

"Look, I don't think Michael would feel too comfortable with me being there and quite frankly, I don't think I would feel too comfortable being there myself."

"You're always welcome at my place."

He chuckles. "Thanks, but no thanks."

Fuck. He is a stubborn bastard. "Come on," I say. "You're not going to give up that easy, are you?"

"Hey, I didn't give up," he retorts. "That was his decision."

"Well, Mikey doesn't always know what's best for him."

"No shit," he states.

"Sometimes he needs a little push." Dave just stares at me a moment and then turns away. "So, you'll come by around nine?" I call out. There's no response but I'm pretty sure he'll be there. I think my plan is coming together nicely. Mikey will be happy. And that's all that matters.

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I slide open the door to my loft. Mikey, Ted and Emmett are all standing there. "Hi!" says Mike brightly. "We're here. We're ready to go to Babylon."

Christ. I glare at the other two. "Assholes," I state. "You told him." I open the door further and pull Mikey inside.

The lights go up and everyone yells, "Surprise!!!"

"Oh my God," he says and he truly looks surprised. "Who are all these people?" he asks me quietly.

"Well, if I invited just your friends, there'd be like six people here. I had to open up to sex partners."

"I haven't slept with any of these people." He looks around.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "My sex partners," I reply. "Happy birthday, Mikey." I kiss him hard on the lips.

"Happy birthday, Michael," says Lindsay, with Gus in her arms. Soon the whole family is swarming around him, offering him their birthday wishes.

Deb hugs him and then Vic. "Exactly thirty years ago today, my legs were in stirrups and my face was like this." She opens her mouth wide and lets out a yell.

We all chuckle at her and then Dr. David wanders into view. "Wow, this really is a surprise party," comments Mikey.

"Hi," Dave says. He turns to Justin and hands him his gift. "Here." Justin takes it and raises his eyebrows. Dave turns back to Mikey. "Thirty, huh?"

"Yeah," Mikey responds.

"Boy, I hope I look as good as you do when I'm that age," he jokes. He leans over to kiss Mikey on the cheek and then he takes his lips into a passionate kiss.

I know I asked him here, but fuck if he still doesn't piss me off. "Come on, Mikey," I take his arm. "You've got presents. Excuse us," I say to Dave.

"Okay, everybody, it's time," I announce to the crowded room. "Mikey's going to open his presents."

He stares at the pile of gifts like he doesn't know where to start. He finally lifts the lid off the biggest box. "Oh my God!" he exclaims. "An Easy Cake Oven! I always wanted one of those!" I see Emmett shoot Ted an 'I told you so,' look and I don't even want to know. "Thanks, Em, I love it." He pulls Emmett into a hug.

He chooses the next gift. "Oh, that's mine!" calls Ted. Mikey opens it and pulls out some goofy elephant thing. Ted cracks up. "It's a dick wrap and the trunk goes…" he flips his hand up. "It's funny."

"It is," says Mikey kindly. "It's funny."

It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen and I just turn to stare at Ted. "Okay, moving on," I say.

Mikey picks up another gift. "Who's this one from?"

"Oh, that's…that's from me," says David.

He opens the box and pulls out a watch. "Wow, this is…this is…"

"Expensive," Deb chimes in.

"Oh, well, I had it inscribed before," says David. "Just, uh, focus on the waterproof features."

I move into the crowd to get my gift. "Hey, Mikey," I call. "There's someone here to see you."

The crowd parts and the actor I hired to play Mikey's favorite comic book character walks through.

Everyone starts to laugh. "Hello, Michael," says 'Captain Astro’. "I heard it was your birthday, so I thought I'd fly by and bring you something special." He holds out Mikey's gift to him.

"Oh my God!" exclaims Mikey. "Captain Astro!" He takes the gift and looks at it closely. "Astro Comics number one…this is the first appearance of Captain Astro in print. Do you know how much this is worth?" he exclaims.

"Anything for my best friend," I tell him.

"I can't believe it! I never thought I'd find this," he says as he rushes over to hug me.

"So, Cap," I say to the super hero. "Don't fly away. Stay and boogie with the birthday boy." I kiss my friend's temple. "Enjoy, Mikey."

I stand and watch him get his groove on with Captain Astro for a moment and then I look over to David, who looks suitably miserable. I move away from the scene and lean against one of the support beams that pepper the loft.

Ted approaches me. "Nice going on the gift," he says. "Couldn't have been more perfect." He takes a swig of his beer.

"Thanks," I say, waiting for the other ball to drop. I'm not disappointed.

"Yeah," continues Ted. "David's present didn't stand a chance. Then again, neither did he."

"Fuck off." I reply.

"You just can't help yourself, can you? You have to make sure Michael regresses permanently to the age of twelve. He's thirty, for Christ's sake, Brian. Don't you think it's time to let him go?"

"Well, I'll tell you what." I smirk at him as I watch my best friend out on the dance floor. "I will if you will."

"What?"

"Tell him that you've been in love with him," I say smugly. "For years."

"What are you talking about?" he asks indignantly.

"Don't act so innocent. You know what I mean." I look at him. "The boys saw your pictures. They saw your little shrine to Mikey. When you were in your coma." He doesn't reply so I continue. "Of course, I always knew. So as I said. You let him go and so will I." Ted is still silent. What a surprise; he doesn't have any wisecracks for once. I reach up and cup the side of his head. "Ladies first," I whisper in his ear as I walk away.

After mingling for a bit and watching blond boy looking a little too comfortable, I notice Michael is talking to his little girlfriend, Tracey. I knew she would show up. I take a deep breath and make my way over to them as I get ready to give my friend a boost into the rest of his life.

"Tracey!" I say to the hapless woman. I wrap my arm around her. "I am so glad you could make it to Michael's surprise party." I kiss her temple and then grab her hand. "Let me introduce you to a few of our guests."

"Brian!" Mikey calls after me, but I ignore him.

Ahh, just the man I was looking for. "David," I say as I tap the man on the shoulder and he turns. "David, this is Tracey. Tracey this is David."

"Tracey, yeah, we met," he says graciously as he shakes her hand.

"Right," she replies, "you're Mike's chiropractor."

I look over to my best friend who is watching the whole scene with a terrified expression on his face. Now or never. I sling an arm over David's shoulders. "He's also Mike's boyfriend," I say. Tracey and David both turn to stare at me. "Oh, excuse me, ex-boyfriend." Tracey looks to Michael and then back to me as I continue. "The first time they fucked," I tell her. "Michael came, like, three times."

David draws back and punches me in the mouth and two guys on the dance floor catch me as I go flying. I brace myself and stand up, wiping the blood from my lip. "Mike," I address my friend, "why don't you buy your friend Tracey a drink. It looks like she could use one."

Tracey pushes her way past us and runs out the door as Michael gives me a hurt look and follows her. "Don't go yet, Mikey!" I yell. "You haven't even had your cake."

"Fuck off!" he yells back at me.

I pop the balloon I've been holding as I watch him leave. My lip stings like a son of a bitch, so I move off to find my stash.

Ted and I are leaning up against the bar when Mikey comes back in. "Hey, look what I had cooked up for this special occasion," I say, holding up a vial to show him.

He pushes my hand away and walks past. "I'd like to get out of here," he says and then looks at David. "How about you?"

"Yeah," David replies.

"Don't forget this," says Justin, and he holds out the comic book to Michael.

Michael looks at him. "I don't want it." He turns to me. "Thanks for the party," he says as he walks out the door.

"Well, Brian," says Ted as he pulls on his coat. "You really know how to throw a birthday bash."

"Too bad all good things must come to an end," adds Emmett, who leaves right behind Ted.

"Well, well, well," Melanie, the cunt, says as she comes up. "Is anyone surprised? The way he treats people. Am I right? Is there anyone here tonight that hasn't been fucked by Brian Kinney? One way or another."

She moves off and is replaced by Vic. "Well, what do you know?" he says as he raises his glass. "Now Michael has been too." That one really hurt. Vic's always been a good friend to me.

"So, you finally gave him what you wanted," says Deb. "Good for you!" She and Vic make their way out.

And now here comes Lindsay holding Gus. "How could you do that, Brian? Your best friend in the whole world."

I stand there feeling thoroughly chastised when Justin approaches, but he doesn't say anything. "Well?" I ask. "Aren't you going to make your big exit too?"

"No," he says as he looks at me with something that could almost be sympathy. "You're going to need someone to help you clean up this mess." He walks away.

I'm not sure if he's talking about my loft or my friends.

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