Listen to Your Heart

Part 4

Brian watched Justin intently as the younger man sat in his hospital bed. Justin’s ear specialist was explaining Justin’s condition to him using a dry erase board he had brought with him. The doctor had already explained everything to Brian and Jennifer earlier so Brian took the opportunity to observe his young lover with trepidation.

Justin seemed to be handling his situation very well. Too well as far as Brian was concerned. He had yet to show any emotion about his plight and as Brian knew only too well an unemotional Justin is a time bomb just waiting to explode.

Justin scribbled a question on the board his mother had bought him and held it up to the doctor. Brian had to smile; the thing was called a Magnadoodle or something like that. It used a magnetic stylus and whatever you wrote or drew could be erased with one swipe of the plastic lever. Jennifer told Brian that Molly had one, but Justin had commandeered the thing from his younger sister, unable to resist it even though he was too old for such toys.

That was another thing Brian was worried about, Justin could easily ask the doctor his questions, there was nothing wrong with his voice. The young man had not uttered any more words after his desperate plea to Brian when he realized he could not hear. The doctors had told them this was normal, that patients often felt self-conscious about talking when they could not hear themselves. Jennifer and Brian decided not to push the issue, but as far as Brian was concerned a silent Justin unnerved him even more than an unemotional Justin.

He turned his attention back as the blond scribbled another question, how long?

The doctor quickly answered in his short, hurried hand, not sure, days, weeks, months? There’s no way to know. The doctor eyed Justin somberly then wrote; Mr. Taylor you must prepare yourself that this could be permanent.

Brian watched as Justin paled a bit and leaned back against his pillows. After a moment Justin gathered himself and scribbled another question, when can I go home?

If everything goes well, you’ll be able to leave tomorrow.

Back to Pittsburgh? Justin looked hopeful.

The doctor exchanged looks with Brian and Jennifer then wrote, I’m afraid not. No flying for now, it will put too much pressure on your ears. You need to rest so no long car or train trips right now either.

“How long until you think he can travel again?” Jennifer asked the doctor.

“Ideally I’d like to wait a few months. I want him to come see me once a week so I can monitor his ears closely.”

Jennifer nodded thoughtfully and Brian could see the wheels turning in her head trying to figure out how she can stay in California with her son when she has a job and a daughter to look after in Pittsburgh.

“I’m staying out here,” Brian said firmly.

“Brian, what about Kinnetic? You can’t be gone that long.”

“I can work by remote. Cynthia and Ted are more than capable of running things at the office. Justin can help out with the artwork at this end. Maybe I can drum up some business while I’m out here.”

Brian can see the relief flood Jennifer’s eyes, “thank you Brian. I didn’t want to leave him alone.”

Brian shook his head slightly, “you don’t have to thank me, that’s what partners do.”

Jennifer smiled and began to speak when they heard someone clear their throat. They both turned to see an angry looking Justin scribbling on his board. What are you saying? Don’t leave me out of the conversation! He pointed to each word firmly.

Ahh, drama queen Justin. Brian thinks this is more like it, we’re sorry he writes on his own notepad, we forgot.

The doctor interrupts, “I have to get going if there are no more questions.” He writes on the board as he speaks.

Justin shook his head as Brian and Jennifer both thanked the man and told him good-bye.

The doctor left the dry erase board and Jennifer moved to write on it, Brian is going to stay out here with you while you are recovering.

Justin shook his head again and began to write; no! You don’t need to....

Brian moved to sit next to Justin on his bed. He reached out a hand and stilled Justin’s writing. He erased what Justin had written and took the stylus, writing a message of his own. Save it Sunshine. No Arguments, I’m here until you’re ready to come home with me.

Brian turned Justin’s head so he could look into his eyes and they held a conversation that relayed so much more than words ever could. Justin finally nodded in agreement and Brian leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on the younger man’s lips.

Brian stood up and moved to the dry erase board, well if you’re getting out of here tomorrow I need to find us a place to stay.

I have an apartment, Justin responded.

Brian rolled his eyes, if you think I’m staying in that tiny box for any length of time they ought to examine your head again Sunshine.

Justin’s only response is to stick out his tongue.

I’ll be back, Brian wrote again on the board, “see you later Jen,” he said as he dropped a quick kiss on the woman’s cheek on his way out of the room.

Jennifer offered Justin a confused smile as he gaped at her with his mouth hanging open. When the fuck did Brian start kissing you good-bye? He wrote as soon as he recovered from the shock.

His mother just smiled and shrugged as she moved in to try and get him to lie back and get some rest.

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Three hours later Brett was unlocking the door to a house in Malibu with Brian following right behind. The house was nestled in the cliffs right above the ocean and had a private beach directly below. It was close enough to town so that doctor visits would be fairly easy, but private enough to give Justin some space to heal.

“So we can stay here as long as we need to?” Brian asked as he walked through the house, nodding his approval. The place was not huge, but it had a very open floor plan, much like the loft. The furnishings were modern, but also very cozy and inviting.

“Yeah, Jerry said to stay as long as you need. He has another place in town. He’s an exec at the studio, when he heard it was for Justin he was very accommodating.”

Brian snorted, “I’ll just fucking bet he was.”

“Brian, we all feel badly about what happened. We all want to help Justin out however we can. It’s not just because we feel responsible either. We all really like him and have come to care about him.”

Brian rubbed a hand through his hair, “I know. I’m just in a really bad fucking place right now. I can’t believe this is happening to him after everything else.” Brian walked to the kitchen pretending to look around so Brett wouldn’t see him get emotional.

Brett gave him a moment then followed him, “so do you think this will be OK for you guys?”

Brian let his patented smirk creep back onto his face, “yeah if you don’t think Jerry will mind two virile, young studs fucking in his bed.”

Brett smiled; “Jerry is an old queen from way back who I think has a tiny crush on your Justin. He’ll probably ask you to leave the dirty sheets.”

Brian barked out a laugh, “you are a sick man Brett,” he gave a pronounced shudder. “Let’s go back so I can arrange to have Justin’s things moved here and check out of my hotel.”

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Later that evening Brian snuck back into Justin’s hospital room and lay down next to him in his bed. Jennifer had gone back to her hotel room for the night and Brian cherished the alone time with the younger man even though he was asleep.

Justin shifted closer into Brian’s body and fisted a hand into his shirt. Brian wrapped his arms around him and rested his chin on top of the blonde’s head. “It’s going to be all right Sunshine,” he murmured softly, “I love you.”

It’s so much easier to say when no one can hear you.

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