Listen to Your Heart

Part 2

Brian placed the phone receiver back into the seat back in front of him.

“Well?”

He turned to face Justin’s mother; “he’s stable Jennifer. He hasn’t woken up yet, but they think he’ll be OK.”

“Have they talked with his neurologist yet?” Jennifer placed a nervous hand on Brian’s arm.

“Yeah, Brett said the doctor that’s been treating him in LA got in touch with him so they have all Justin’s records now.” Brian shifted in his seat, “it’s not much help though until he wakes up and they can assess the damage.”

Jennifer lifted her hand to her mouth and turned toward the window of the plane. Brian could tell she was trying to keep herself calm, but the thought of Justin suffering through another brain injury was just too much for a mother to take. “How did this happen?” She asked so quietly that Brian almost didn’t hear her.

“Brett said there was some malfunction with the pyrotechnics. It blew too soon and Justin was standing too close to it. He’s lucky the force of the explosion threw him outward or he could have been badly burned too. It‘s bad enough he hit his head.” Brian closed his eyes then opened them and looked back at Jennifer. “I knew it. He was so excited telling me all about how he got to play a small part in the movie, but as soon as he told me what he was doing I just got a really bad fucking feeling and now look what happened.”

Now it was Brian’s turn to look away trying to keep his own emotions in check. He felt a hand smooth his hair back behind his ear, “please don’t tell me you think this is somehow your fault.”

He turned to face Jennifer, “no. Yes. I don’t know.”

The pain in the younger man’s eyes touched her; “it’s not your fault. You can’t take responsibility for everything that happens to him. He’s a big boy.”

Brian’s mind flashed back to another time a Taylor had spoken those very same words to him, ‘It’s not your fault,’ it had been right after Justin had gotten out of the hospital from the bashing. “My head knows it’s not,” he quietly replied to the woman beside him, “but in my heart I feel like I should protect him and keep him safe.”

“I know the feeling,” Jennifer replied as tears welled up in her eyes for the millionth time that day. “Fuck!” She exclaimed quietly dabbing at her eyes with the wadded up tissue that was already in her hand. “You must think I’m such a weak and silly woman.”

Brian flagged down the first class flight attendant and got Jennifer another box of tissue, “actually, I think you are just a worried mother. It’s not something I’ve had a lot of personal experience with being the son of the Ice Queen, but Deb has filled that role a few times for me so I am able to recognize it when I see it.”

Jennifer felt a surge of pity and yes, even a maternal feeling towards Brian as she was once again reminded of his less than perfect childhood, “oh Brian...”

Brian didn’t let her finish. The last thing he wanted was Jennifer doting and wanting to mother him, so he changed the subject, “you know I’ve never thought you were silly or weak at all. I think you are a really brave, kick-ass woman.”

Jennifer didn’t know why his compliment meant so much, maybe because compliments from this man could be very few and far between. She was genuinely surprised by his words, “really? How come?”

“Well you know, you left your asshole husband and your cushy, country club housewife life and went out and started a new career. You’ve always supported Justin and you’re a great mom to Molly. Speaking of Molly is she with Craig?”

Jennifer sighed, “yes; he was able to take her even though it was short notice and not his weekend. He made sure to let me know about it too.”

“I’m not going to apologize for calling him an asshole in case you ask,” he smirked at her.

“Believe me, I’m not going to argue with you on that point. He barely even blinked when I told him about Justin being hurt. Thank you Brian,” Jennifer moved the conversation back to their original topic, “it means a lot to me that you think so highly of me. I think you’re pretty special too.”

Brian reached out and stopped a passing attendant, “pardon me Miss but could you have the captain radio the ground to see if Hell has frozen over?”

The woman raised a curious eyebrow and Jennifer slapped Brian on the arm, “Brian!” The attendant smiled politely and moved away, “I never hated you Brian.” Brian simply raised an eyebrow at her, “well, OK; I never really hated you. ”

“Well it was a very good facsimile then,” Brian smiled showing he did not hold Jennifer’s previous feelings towards him against her. “I don’t blame you; if it was Gus in the same situation I’m sure I would have had the same concerns.”

“You’re a good father to him.”

“Yeah right, I’m right up there with Ward Cleaver and Bill Cosby.”

She smiled and took hold of his arm, “don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a great dad and that little boy really loves you.”

“Thanks. He loves Justin a lot too, and you and Molly.”

“Brian, I hope you don’t take offense, but I kind of think of Gus as a grandson. I mean I know you that neither you nor Justin really wants to raise your own child. I realize the two of you aren’t married or anything like that, but I know he doesn’t see your mother, so if it’s OK with you and Lindsay I would like to have that kind of relationship with him. I’ve become very attached to him. He’s such a sweet little boy.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you felt that way at all...I...uh.”

“It’s OK if you say no. It’s just that Justin brings him around quite a bit when he’s babysitting and...”

“I think it’s great.” He interrupted her. “I’m honored that you care that much about my son and I know Lindsay will feel the same. Thank you.”

“No, thank you, Brian, and thank you for being in Justin’s life and taking such good care of him. I’m so glad he has you. I’m especially glad you’re here with me now. These things are so much easier when you have someone to lean on. I obviously can‘t count on his father.”

Brian nodded as his mind slipped to Justin lying unconscious in yet another hospital bed, “yeah,” was all he could manage to reply.

“He’ll be OK Brian;” she reassured him softly as she slid her hand into his, “he’s going to be OK.”

Jennifer turned to rest her forehead on the small airplane window as Brian closed his eyes and leaned his head back on his seat. They spent the remainder of the flight silently lost in their own thoughts of Justin, but their hands remained tightly clasped together

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