Listen to Your Heart

Part 18

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Brian stared at Justin in the dim light. Another clap of thunder boomed directly overhead followed by a bright flash of lightening that illuminated the room for a moment. Brian could see that Justin still looked terrified; “what the fuck is that?” He asked again still gripping Brian’s arm.

“It’s just a storm Sunshine. Did you really hear the thunder? Justin?” Brian reached up to cup his face trying very hard to contain the excitement he was feeling.

Brian’s heart sank when Justin spoke; “Brian why aren’t you signing? I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

Brian reached up and switched on the small overhead light trying to keep the disappointment out of his expression; <“it was just a thunderstorm Justin. The thunder was really loud and shook the motor home a bit. It must have woke you up.”>

“Thunder?” Justin thought for a moment, then another clap of thunder boomed slightly farther away but Justin gripped Brian’s arm again; “I can hear it Brian,” he looked at Brian with a mixture of wonder, joy and fear on his face. Brian didn’t think it was possible to convey that many emotions with one expression.

<“But you can’t hear me?”> Brian asked in a normal tone of voice, signing at the same time.

Justin concentrated then shook his head, “no,” he seemed to deflate a bit.

<“HOW ABOUT NOW?”> Brian yelled the question.

Justin cocked his head to the side for a moment and then smiled; “I heard something. It was really muffled, I think I did hear you. Do you think it’s coming back?”

Suddenly the bedroom door slid open to reveal Michael and Ben; <“what the fuck is going on in here?”> Michael looked pointedly at his friend; <“Brian why are you yelling at him?”>

“I heard the thunder!” Justin exclaimed excitedly.

“What?” Ben and Michael looked to Brian for confirmation.

Brian nodded, <“he did. It woke him up,” > Brian smiled as he pulled Justin’s forehead to rest against his own for a moment.

“So he can hear again?” Michael asked, “just like that?”

Brian turned away from Justin, <“no Mikey, it’s not that simple. He still can’t hear us talking. That’s why I was yelling. I was testing a theory and we think he did hear me, a little bit anyway.”>

<“That’s wonderful Justin,”> Ben said, making sure to sign as well, <“what now? Do we need to get him to a doctor or anything?”>

Brian looked to Justin and they held one of their silent conversations, <“no I don’t think so,”> Brian finally answered. <“ The doctor told us that if his hearing does return most likely it will be gradual. I think it can wait until we get home.”>

Ben and Michael nodded in agreement, <“well if you don’t need us I think we’ll head back to bed,”> Ben raised his eyes skyward, <“sounds like the storm has pretty much passed over.”>

“I need to use the bathroom Brian, I’ll be back in a few,” Justin stood up from the bed and wobbled slightly as he grabbed for Brian’s shoulder; “whoa.”

Brian steadied Justin and then got in his line of sight; <“Justin what’s wrong? Are you OK?”>

Ben and Michael had also remained in the room and were looking on with concern. Justin stood up straight and gained his bearings; “I think I’m OK. The room just got spinney for a second,” he took one step, then another, “yeah, I’m good,” he left the room and went into the small toilet enclosure sliding the door shut behind him.

“What was that about?” Michael asked Brian.

Brian shrugged, once again trying to hide his concern, “I remember the doctor saying something about this. The ears can really fuck with your equilibrium. I think he said that some stuff like this might happen. He was really messed up right after the accident.”

Ben nodded in agreement; “I had an inner ear infection once. It made me really dizzy, especially sitting up or laying down. It made me kind of nauseous, kind of like being seasick. I would feel better if he saw a doctor though.”

“I know, me too,” agreed Brian, “but we’re in the middle of buttfuck Ohio. I don’t want to take him to some quack who doesn’t know shit. It’s only a few days until we get home and we already have an appointment with a specialist there. We’ll just keep an eye on him.”

Ben sighed and nodded, “OK. Come on Michael; let’s go back to bed.”

Michael followed Ben casting a worried look at Brian and then at Justin who passed them on his way back to bed. He grabbed Justin’s hand giving it a gentle squeeze. Justin smiled at Michael in return and squeezed back before returning to Brian.

Justin slid back into the bed and looked at Brian who was propped up on his pillows. No words were spoken as their eyes met. Emotions were running high as both men pondered the ramifications of what had happened that night.

It was Brian who looked away first, slowly bringing up his hands to sign, never taking his eyes off his lover; <“can you hear me now?”> He said, quoting that annoying cell phone commercial with a dead serious expression on his face.

Justin burst out laughing, “shut up you asshole! Are you mocking me?”

<“Can you hear me now?”> Brian repeated again trying his best to suppress a giggle.

Justin grabbed Brian’s good hand, “stop it you fucker! You’re just jealous you didn’t think of that commercial.”

“Not!” Brian mouthed, pulling Justin closer and kissing him deeply.

“I love you,” Justin whispered against Brian‘s lips as he pulled away, “even if I never hear anything more than thunder ever again, I‘ll always love you.”

Brian nodded and wrapped his right arm around his lover pulling his head down to rest on his chest. He gently stroked Justin’s hair in a silent signal for sleep, and soon they both did.

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The next morning Brian emerged from the back of the motor home all alone. He sat at the small table while Michael made him a cup of coffee.

“So where’s the boy wonder this morning?” Michael asked as he handed Brian his steaming mug.

“He had another dizzy spell when he went to get out of bed and he said his ears are making a funny ringing noise. He’s going to stay in bed for awhile.”

The three men exchanged a look; “well let’s get some breakfast going Michael so we can get on the road;” Ben lit the gas burner and put on a pan of eggs.

“Sure, let me help you,” Michael began to make toast.

Brian sat sipping his coffee, grateful that Michael didn’t start queening out over what he had told them about Justin. He was worried enough on his own without having them freak out too. He was trying to maintain his cool facade but as far a Brian was concerned they couldn’t get back to Pittsburgh fast enough.

When he finished his coffee he stepped outside telling his friends he was going to have a smoke. As soon as he was on the other side of the motor home he took out his phone and dialed the number for Justin’s ear doctor in LA.

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