Listen to Your Heart

Part 10

*****************************

Brian gripped the steering wheel of their rented Lexus tightly and clenched his jaw, nodding in feigned interest as Justin spouted yet another interesting fact about the area of New Mexico they were currently driving through. The young man babbled earnestly about the world’s largest ball of ear wax or whatever the fuck as he read it out of the book of interesting U.S. sights and facts he had bought in honor of their little road trip.

Honestly Brian had ceased to pay attention to these fun facts about two hours ago and sneakily reached over to turn up the radio while Justin was not looking. Fuck he knew it was mean, but he really could not take another minute of it and what the kid didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

Brian used to have this theory that Justin always talked so much because he enjoyed the sound of his own voice. Well now that Justin could no longer hear his own voice Brian reasoned that Justin just liked to talk. Period. He was beginning to question Hannah’s reasoning for insisting that Justin use his voice more.

Even worse was the fact that Justin would periodically ask him to detour and actually look at this stuff. A request that Brian repeatedly denied stating that he was on a schedule to get home as soon as possible much to Justin‘s disappointment.

“Brian, did you know that Santa Fe is the oldest capital city in the U.S.?”

“No I didn’t Justin. Did you know I don’t give a shit?” This was spoken out loud while Brian responded to Justin with a simple gesture for ‘no’ with one hand. One thing he really missed with the sign language was the fact that sarcasm did not come across very well. He glanced over at his lover’s earnest face; well maybe that was a good thing after all.

“Wow, the Georgia O’Keefe museum is here. I would love to see that. Wouldn’t that be neat to see Brian?”

“No it would not! Would you please stop talking for two seconds? Please?” Brian stopped ranting and looked at his lover who was staring back at him mouth open in shock and confusion. Shock because obviously Brian was pissed about something and confusion because Brian realized he had signed none of his outburst so Justin had absolutely no idea what he was so pissed about.

Brian pulled over to the side of the Highway and turned to Justin; <Look, I don’t really want to hear about every fucking city and town we pass through OK? I don’t need a running commentary and I would love a little peace and quiet. We are not stopping to look at all this shit. I have a job to get back to so we are stopping to piss, eat and sleep and that is it. This is not the Brady Bunch family vacation! Got it?>

This was all very stilted and slow as Justin struggled to interpret Brian’s sign language, which was still not quite fluent. As recognition began to dawn on Justin he began to get pissed as well; <“well excuse the hell out of me your majesty,”> he spoke as well as signed, <“it’s not like we can have a real fucking conversation. I was just trying to break up the monotony of the drive! From here on out I will just sit here quietly and not bother you so fucking much!”> Justin turned to look out the window.

“Justin,” Brian reached over to get his attention but Justin shrugged him off continuing to stare out the window. “Fuck,” Brian muttered quietly as he pulled back onto the highway.

Two hours later the sun was beginning to set and Brian’s stomach as well as his bladder were prodding at him to stop. Justin was still staring out his window and had not spoken or moved really since Brian had yelled at him.

Brian reached over and gently squeezed Justin’s leg; <“ready to stop?”>

Justin nodded in agreement as Brian pointed to the lodging/food sign for the next exit. Brian pulled off the exit and sighed in distaste at the hotel; “fucking sheets are probably like sandpaper,” he muttered to himself as he parked and went to check in. Neither man spoke as they freshened up in their room and went to the restaurant across the street for dinner.

They ordered their food and sat in yet more silence until Brian could no longer stand it; <“I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”>

“Like I can even hear you yell,” Justin retorted.

<“Quit being a jerk, you know what I mean. I could have been nicer.” >

“I could have been less annoying I guess. I was just trying to be useful.”

<“You’re fine Justin, just stop trying so hard. I don’t want you to be a fucking monk, just tone it down a bit is all.”>

The waitress brought their food and Brian looked on fondly as Justin devoured his own food and some of Brian’s as well. Good to know some things never changed.

Later that night as both men lay facing each other in bed Brian pushed Justin out of his arms a bit so he could talk to him; <“what did you mean earlier about being useful?”>

“Just what I said, I’m pretty fucking useless lately, I can’t help you drive, I can’t hold a conversation, I can’t even order my own fucking food.”

<“You could if you would just talk to people.”>

“I know...I just can’t...I don’t know why,” Justin couldn’t really articulate why he was still having so much trouble speaking out loud to strangers.

Justin looked upset and Brian ran a hand through his hair; <“hey,”> he signed when he had pulled his hand away; <it’s OK, it’s just going to take some time. It’s also total bullshit that you are useless so stop thinking like that.>

“OK.”

Brian sighed, not convinced that Justin was convinced; <“I tell you what, we should be passing through Oklahoma City tomorrow afternoon. Let’s stop and take a look at the memorial for the Federal Building bombing victims. I know you mentioned wanting to see it.”>

Justin’s smile lit up the room; <“really? I mean if you really need to get back we can skip it.”>

<“It’s OK, we have time. I kind of want to see it myself you know?”>

Justin nodded and both men lay silently for awhile lightly stroking each other’s skin, lost in their own thoughts. Brian finally let his hand wander down Justin’s torso to his cock. “Brian aren’t you tired from all that driving?” Justin gasped softly as Brian began to stroke him.

Not wanting to remove his hands from the task at hand to sign anything, Brian just shook his head and pressed his lips to Justin’s in a searing kiss. Once again they lost themselves in the dance of their beautiful bodies joining together. The dance they both knew by heart and only needed the gentle press of skin on skin to communicate their needs.

*****************************

<“That was amazing, Brian.”>

<Yes it really is,> Brian answered as they left the Oklahoma City National Memorial.

<“I remember when it happened, watching it on TV. My mom was crying, but when we found out about the daycare and all those kids, man she really lost it.”>

<Yes that was awful, I just can’t imagine if anything like that happened to...>

Brian couldn’t finish his sentence, but he didn’t need to Justin knew he was thinking of Gus. <“I know what you mean,”> he replied quietly.

Brian signaled to Justin that he needed to use the restroom before they got in the car. Justin watched Brian move back toward the building and did not see the woman and her husband coming toward him. He ran into the woman knocking her down to the pavement. <Sorry,> he signed automatically as he reached down to help her up.

Her husband did not notice Justin’s gesture and pushed the younger man out of the way as he held his wife‘s arm; “hey boy, don’t you think you better apologize to my wife.”

Justin looked blankly at the man desperately trying to understand. He shrugged his shoulders trying to make the man understand.

“Don’t be a smart-ass boy,” the man yelled as he grabbed onto Justin’s arm, “say you’re sorry!”

“Billy, don’t, it’s not a big deal,” the woman tried to pull her husband away.

“What’s going on?” Brian asked taking in the scene, “I’ll need you to take your hands off him,” he reached up and yanked the man’s hand from Justin’s arm.

“This punk wasn’t looking where he was going and plowed into my wife and now he won’t say he’s sorry!” The man’s face was turning red with anger and a crowd was starting to gather round.

Brian turned to Justin; <“is that what happened?”>

Justin nodded looking like a scared child; <I tried to say I was sorry Brian, but he didn’t see, then he started yelling.>

As soon as the man and his wife saw Brian signing to Justin and realized what was going on they became quite contrite.

“Oh I’m sorry mister, I didn’t realize the boy was deaf,” the man backpedaled, “I’m sure you can see how I would be confused.”

“Billy, let’s just go please,” the woman grabbed her husband tossing off a quick sorry and an apologetic smile to Justin as she dragged him away.

The crowd dispersed and Brian took Justin’s arm as he steered him to the car. He was concerned to feel the younger man trembling.

Once settled in the Lexus Brian turned to Justin; <“are you OK?”>

Justin turned and looked out his window for a moment before he turned back to Brian; “is this the way it’s always going to be?”

<“Well he didn’t realize you couldn’t hear, just forget it, he was an asshole.”>

Justin shook his head; <“no I mean am I going to spend the rest of my life having you rescue me all the time? I thought I was done with this shit and now here I am again, poor little Justin needing Brian to save him yet again. Fuck!”>

Justin turned back to the window and stared out not saying anything else. It was just as well because Brian didn’t really have much of a response. He started the car and pulled out of the lot heading back toward the I-40 and home.

Return to Listen to Your Heart