Finally

Chapter 1

Justin leaned his seat back, reached up to turn off the light above him, and closed his eyes.  All around him the plane was dark as the other passengers tried to sleep during the trans-Atlantic flight.  Behind him, somewhere back in coach, a baby started to fuss and Justin’s jaw clenched.

Normally shit like that didn’t bother him too much because he loved babies, well loved to visit them anyway, and he’d probably be crying too if he was stuck in coach for that long.  Tonight he needed to sleep, though.  God knows when he’d have the chance once he got back to Pittsburgh.

Shit!  He flung an arm over his eyes and tried to hold back his tears.  Crying like a silly faggot wasn’t going to help anything.  But, fuck, Brian was in the hospital, and it was really serious, and he hadn’t been able to get through to anyone in hours, and he still had hours and another flight before he could get there.

Brian and that stupid car.  What had Michael called it?  Oh, yeah, boyfriend replacement therapy.  Well, Justin didn’t know about that, but the Corvette Stingray, while cool looking, was completely impractical.  Not only was it tiny, making carrying anything other than a wallet or a condom impossible, there was absolutely no room for sexual acts of any kind in the thing.  Justin had learned that from painful experience.

Leg room aside it wasn’t the best car to be driving during winter in Pittsburgh, and Justin had often chastised Brian for doing just that.  Luckily, Brian had been wearing a seatbelt, but of course the car was too old for airbags, and Brian vs. tree had not turned out so well for the Corvette or Brian.  Justin was just thankful that the tox and blood alcohol screens had come back negative and the patch of black ice really had been to blame.  Brian was going to be pissed when he woke up because he had a huge ‘I told you so’ coming and Justin was certainly not going to let that opportunity pass him by.  Especially given the way that Brian had been treating him lately.

If Brian woke up.  Fuck.  He hadn’t meant to let that thought slip in.  It simply wasn’t an option.  But the fact was that Brian had suffered a head injury, and Michael had told Justin when he called that they had detected swelling in his brain.  This could easily go either way for Brian, and if he did come out okay it could be a long recovery.  At least that was something Justin knew a little bit about, and he would help Brian every step of the way whether his lover wanted him there or not.

Justin rolled to his side and pulled his blanket up to his chin.  The problem was that he didn’t know how the fuck Brian was going to react to Justin if…no, when he woke up.  He didn’t know because Brian had not really spoken to him since Justin had left for New York to pursue his art career almost eleven months ago.

Justin had arrived in New York and had literally hit the ground running and taken the city by storm. Between a combination of talent, luck, persistence, and his ability to charm gallery owners, and the New York artsy elite, he had found representation and was being shown in several galleries within four months of moving to the city.

He spent the next five months solidifying his contacts, honing his craft, doing commissions and schmoozing clients.  He even did some freelance graphic work that seemed to come easily to him, and therefore was easy income.  By the time he had been in New York for nine months he was making a decent income for himself and had moved into his own apartment in Chelsea.  It was tiny, but it was his. 

Through it all he had not heard from Brian.  Oh, he talked to Brian all the time, regaling him with long e-mails of his accomplishments and daily adventures, none of which Brian replied to.   Brian read them, though, because Justin would get phone calls from his mom or Emmett if he’d complained to Brian about a hard day, or unexplained deposits in his bank accounts when he fretted about the cost of living in New York.  Once, during his early days in the city, when Justin had regaled  Brian with the tale of a particularly bad migraine Ted had called the next day reminding him that he was still on Kinnetic‘s health insurance plan as Brian‘s domestic partner.   Justin had really wanted to call Brian and tell him to shove his insurance policy up his ass, but at the time Justin had been struggling a bit financially and he decided he wanted his migraine meds more and left it alone.  Fucking, controlling asshole.

Those times that Justin was depressed, drunk, stoned, or all three, he would call and leave rambling messages on Brian’s phone, and if Brian was available he would pick up and listen, but still not respond.  Justin knew this because he could hear the other man breathing, and also no answering machine ever let you leave that long of a message.

Justin knew when he was being pushed off a cliff for his own good, it’s not like he was new here, but he had simply dug in and refused to go over the damn thing.  He wasn’t scrabbling to hold on or begging for Brian to pull him up, but simply sitting on the edge like an immovable boulder, biding his time.  He was waiting for Brian to realize that Justin could have a life with Brian and a successful art career too.  Sometimes Brian was too stubborn for his own good.  Luckily Justin was just as stubborn, if not more so.

The really funny part about the whole situation was the sex.  Whenever Justin came back to Pittsburgh to visit his friends and family, Brian avoided like the plague everywhere Justin would be, but Justin would go to the loft and he and Brian would have sex.  Lots and lots of hot, hot, sex.  After the sex Justin would leave without a word, like one of Brian’s tricks before Brian had the chance to treat him like one of his tricks.  It was a stupid game, but Justin knew that Brian probably tried to fight even letting Justin into the loft in the first place, so Justin was relentless, and their chemistry, as always, was too strong for Brian to ignore. 

Brian had even come to him in New York the last time he had been to town on business, or rather; he had called Justin and left him a message that simply stated the name and room number of his hotel.  Justin had rolled his eyes, even as he had hurriedly hailed a taxi. Brian had feigned sleep when they were done, and Justin had pulled on his clothes and got up to leave, but couldn’t help a parting shot when he left.  “I’m onto you, you know, and don’t forget it.  I’m not going anywhere.” 

Justin thought he heard Brian grit out, “Fucking twat, and his fucking perfect blowjobs.”  But he couldn’t be sure.

At the beginning of his tenth month in the city Justin talked with his agent and decided he was in a place where he could go back to Pittsburgh and still maintain the momentum of his career. He began to ready himself for the battle of wills it was going to take to convince Brian he was ready to come home and that they were going to be together, when an opportunity he couldn’t refuse presented itself.

He met a successful Italian sculptor named Christiano who was showing at the same gallery as Justin in New York.  The man had flown in from Italy for the show with his, ironically, advertising exec partner, Taddeo.  The two had blatantly hit on Justin that night, and he had accepted their offer, because they were both hot as fuck, and he certainly wasn’t living like a monk while he waited for Brian to get his act together.

The sex was great, but the conversation afterward was even better, and the three became fast friends.  The men invited Justin to come visit them for an extended stay in Italy so he would have an ample chance to study the European masters.  Justin’s agent had been thrilled at maybe gaining some exposure for Justin across the pond, and Justin after hesitating briefly, thinking of Brian, decided the asshole could wait for a few more months since he wasn’t expecting him anyway, and jumped at the chance.

A week later he was settled into Chris and Tad’s opulent terrace apartment in the heart of Rome, and was visiting sights and museums that took his breath away.  The three never slept together again, deciding that given their current living situation it could become awkward, but Italy contained plenty of beautiful men that weren’t awkward, and Justin lost himself in the wonder of European living, all the while still e-mailing and calling Brian to tell him all of it, but it was still to no avail.

Two months later, just yesterday, Justin’s mom had called to tell him about Brian’s accident, and Justin immediately began to make arrangements to come home.  Tad and Chris, having heard the whole saga of Brian and Justin one night when Justin had had a bit too much wine, helped Justin pack, and took him to the airport, kissing him soundly on both cheeks, making him promise to bring his handsome boyfriend back to visit when they had everything sorted out.  Justin knew full well that they were concerned for him, and smiled brightly at both of them, silently thanking them for their support.  He promised to return someday with Brian in tow.

Now here he was, stuck on an airplane, wracked with worry and grief and scared shitless.  He rolled onto his back again, noticing that the baby had finally quieted down, and fell into a restless slumber.

**********************************************

Debbie sat down next to Michael and put an arm around his shoulders.  "Honey, it's late, you should go home and get some rest."

"I can't go, Ma.  Not until I know he's going to be okay.  But you and Jennifer should go.  You've been here as long as I have."  He looked over to Ted.  "You too.  I'm sure Blake would like to have his partner at home with him."

Ted, Jennifer, Michael and Debbie all traded silent looks, and then they all started to chuckle at once.  Brian was too important to all of them in different ways for any of them to be able to, or want to, leave.

Jennifer reached up and rubbed her stiff neck.  "Okay, so none of us is going anywhere until Brian wakes up."  No one dared to voice or think about a scenario where Brian wasn't going to wake up.

"When will Sunshine get in, Jen?" Debbie asked her friend.

"Oh, it won't be until tomorrow afternoon," she glanced at her watch.  "Or I guess it would be later on today."

"I could send Ben to pick him up," Michael offered.  "He only has two morning classes.”

"Oh, thank you, Michael, that would be wonderful.  I'm sure Justin will appreciate a friendly face and not having to deal with a cab.  He'll be exhausted, but I'm sure he won't rest until he can see Brian for himself."

"Give me the flight info and I'll call Ben when he wakes up."

"I'll tell Justin when he calls from New York.  I'm sure he'll check in before he boards his flight."

"Um, are we sure this is a good idea for Brian...either of them?" Ted asked hesitantly.  "I was under the impression that they haven't really spoken since Justin left for New York."

"Justin didn't even hesitate when I called him.  He was on the first flight out of Rome,” Jennifer defended her son.

"I don't care what the fuck's been going on between them," Deb added.  "Brian's hurt and I know he needs Sunshine, whether he knows it or not!"

They all turned their attention to Michael, who always had an opinion about his best friend Brian, and Brian’s erstwhile young lover. 

Michael remained silent and Deb looked at him sharply.  "You know something," she accused.

"Ma..."

"Don't 'Ma' me."  She poked a long red fingernail into his chest.  "Spill."

"All right, but don't tell Brian I told you this or he'll kill me.  He doesn't even know that I know."

"Michael, honey," Deb said sweetly.  "Stop babbling and get on with it!"

"Okay, so remember last time Justin was in town visiting?"  The others nodded.  "And Brian saw him at the diner and turned around and walked out?"

"Yeah," Deb and Ted both answered quickly, having both witnessed the awkward incident.

“Well, when I closed the shop that night I went to the loft to check on Brian and make sure he was okay, you know?”  Michael took a breath.  “No one answered when I knocked so I used my key and Brian was there with Justin.”

“Justin?”  Jennifer looked confused.  “They didn’t hear you come in?”

“They had the music on loud and they were um…busy.”

“They were fucking, you mean.”

“Ma!”  Michael admonished Debbie.

“Fuck, Michael, it’s not like none of us here know that’s what Brian and Justin do best.”

Jennifer looked a little shocked.  “Why wouldn’t Justin tell me they were still together?  I mean, they were going to get married.  Why hide it?”

“That’s what I thought!”  Michael was getting into the story now.  “I mean why wouldn’t Brian have told me?  I’m his best friend.”

 Ted tried not to roll his eyes at Michael‘s worn out mantra.  “So did you ask Brian about it?”

“No, the more I thought about it I realized that Brian and I still aren’t back where we used to be, and I didn’t want to set back our friendship again by mentioning Justin.”

“How mature of you, honey,” Deb interrupted.

Michael rolled his eyes.  “Can it, Ma.”  He looked at the others.  “So I ambushed Justin about it the next time we met to discuss Rage.”

“And?” Jennifer asked, not bothering to hide her impatience.

“God, it was like I opened up a dam.  Justin let the whole story out about how he emails and calls Brian all the time, but Brian won’t answer, even though Justin swears he reads the emails, and listens to his phone calls.”

“I guess that would explain Brian’s cryptic emails to me to call Justin when he seems down,” Jennifer added.  “I just thought he’d been talking to one of you or he’d heard something from Daphne.” 

Ted nodded in agreement.  That also explained the terse demand he’d gotten from Brian months ago to call Justin and “remind the kid that he’s still on Kinnetic’s insurance plan for fuck’s sake!”  “But they still fuck?” Ted asked Michael, looking fascinated.

Michael shrugged.  “That’s the really weird part.  I guess when they’re in the same city they do, but they still don’t talk.  Justin says that when they’re done he just leaves.  Like it‘s some kind of unspoken agreement.”  Michael looked pleadingly at all of them.  “Listen, guys, Justin begged me not to tell anyone about this.  I think he didn’t tell any of us because he doesn’t want us to interfere with Brian.”  Michael chuckled a little.  “I believe he used the analogy of trying to tame a feral cat with rabies.   He wants to be with Brian, and he’s playing Brian’s game for now so when he‘s ready he can get what he wants.  He thinks he’s got this, and I…well…I’m inclined to trust him on this one.  I’ve just been listening to him, and trying to be a good friend to both of them.”

“Oh, honey,” Deb had tears in her eyes at how much Michael had grown up when it came to Brian and Justin.

A nurse interrupted whatever else Deb was going to say by walking into the room.  “Sir“, she addressed Michael, who had told a small white lie upon arriving at the hospital in order to gain access to his friend, who really had no one else right now.  “Your brother is beginning to show signs of waking up.  You can go in now, but only family, and only one person at a time.”

Return to Finally