Brain Damage/Brian Damage

Chapter 5

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"Is it far?" Justin asked Brian as they drove through the countryside to Britin.

"About a half hour out of the city."

Justin nodded. "And you said we haven't lived there together yet."

"Nope. The renovations just got done."

No one in Pittsburgh had ever brought up the huge house in West Virginia that Brian had bought as an engagement gift for Justin. They no doubt thought it was too touchy of a subject. The truth is that when Brian and Justin had discovered that their relationship was going to survive the distance they had decided to keep the house and have it renovated. When it was ready they would use it as their secret getaway and for family weekends when the girls came down from Canada with the kids. Of course, it was also the unspoken plan that Brian and Justin would someday live there permanently when Justin was well established in the art world and could leave New York.

When Justin had been hurt, Brian had called the retired couple he had hired to live in the caretaker's house. They looked after the place for Brian and had been helping to oversee the renovations. They were more than happy to get the place ready for he and Justin to live in.

"I'm glad."

Justin's comment pulled Brian from his thoughts. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm glad we haven't lived here yet. We can make new memories." Justin stared out at the passing landscape.

Brian didn't reply, sensing Justin's pensive mood. Ten minutes later, he turned down the long driveway and enjoyed the expression on his husband's face as the house came into view. "Here we are, Sunshine."

"Oh my God!" Justin exclaimed when Brian pulled up in front of the house. "This is ours?"

Brian simply nodded and smiled.

The front door opened and the McAllisters came out to greet their bosses. "Brian, who are they?" Justin asked nervously before they exited the car.

"That's Lily and Caleb McAllister. They live in the caretaker's house and look after this place for us. Lily will come in and clean twice a week and Caleb will look after the grounds and do minor repairs."

Justin shifted in his seat. "Do they know about us?" he asked Brian.

"About us being together?" Brian asked. Justin nodded his head.

"Of course, Sunshine. Lily said they were fine with it as long as we didn't get any ideas about stealing Caleb away from her."

Justin snorted as he studied the older man on their doorstep. "Fat chance. Brian, do they know about me?"

"Yes, I told them about your accident, but you've never met them before, Justin, so don't worry."

Justin nodded and pasted on a smile as both men got out of the car. "Hello, Lily, Caleb," Brian said in a friendly manor. "This is my husband, Justin Taylor."

"Oh, Mr. Taylor, it's so good to finally meet you," replied Lily. "Mr. Kinney told us what happened. We're so sorry."

Justin smiled, liking the friendly woman already. "Thank you, Lily, and please call me Justin."

"Same for me," added Brian. "Now that I'm going to be around a lot more, I'd like for you to call me Brian. Mr. Kinney reminds me of my father," he shuddered a bit.

"Well, we'll get out of your way," Caleb said as he shook Justin's hand. "We just wanted to meet Justin and let you know the house is all ready for you. Lily made up your bed and I started a fire."

"Now, I laid out a snack for you," Lily interjected. "It's a long drive from Pittsburgh. There are also some frozen dishes in the freezer that you can just heat up later."

"I think we'll get along just fine," Justin smiled at Lily as he smelled what could only be a fresh baked loaf of bread.

"Now, Lily, cooking was not part of our agreement. You didn't have to do that," chastised Brian.

"Oh, but I love to cook. You pay us too much as it is and I don't mind fixing you boys a few things now and then. I promise to stay out of your way and it would make me so happy."

"Yeah, Brian, it would make her happy," Justin said as he elbowed Brian in the ribs. He wasn't one to turn down the offer of food and he didn't want Brian to ruin it for him.

"God, you'll be as big as a house," Brian exclaimed and they all laughed. "All, right, Lily, cook to your heart's content, but I warn you he eats like an elephant."

"I raised three boys, Brian; believe me, I'm used to it."

"Come now, Lily," Caleb took his wife's arm and began to lead her down the steps. "Let's leave the boys alone so they can enjoy their new home in peace. Everything looks wonderful, Brian. You boys have good taste."

"Thanks, Caleb," Brian replied.

"Thanks, Lily," Justin called after the couple who made their way down the short lane to their own little house. He turned to Brian. "I really like them."

"Me too, although I was serious about how fat you're going to get eating all of Lily's food."

"I have a high metabolism," Justin argued.

"You're not eighteen anymore," Brian reminded him.

"Oh, yeah," Justin looked a bit glum.

Brian smiled and suddenly swung Justin up into his arms. "Brian! What the fuck are you doing?"

"Carrying my husband over the threshold of our new house."

Justin felt his head. "Did I hit my head again? Are you being romantic?"

"I can drop you any time, twat," Brian answered archly. "Obviously things have changed a bit in the last six years."

"I'm sorry, I'll be good." He laid his head against Brian's shoulder as the other man fumbled to get the door open. "Hey," Justin said quietly, raising his head. "I just got a flash of Ben doing this with Michael. And then Deb came in."

"Another memory," Brian smiled and kissed Justin's temple. There was no time for more comment as Brian stepped into the house and gently put Justin down.

Justin stood in awe as he turned in a slow circle. "Brian, this is beautiful," he gasped. "You bought this for me?"

"For my prince," Brian smiled as he took Justin's hand and began to lead him through the house.

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Hours later, when several of the rooms in the house had been christened, Brian and Justin lay in their large, cherry, four-poster bed. "I'm wiped out," Justin sighed, curling into Brian's side.

"Hmmm, that was quite the housewarming party, Sunshine."

"I love this bed. Did I pick it out?"

"Of course," Brian replied. "Ever the romantic."

"Hmm," Justin breathed out softly as the two again fell into silence.

Brian traced lazy circles over Justin's back and after the silence grew too long for his taste, he finally spoke. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid to ask you."

Brian's hand stilled on Justin's skin. "Is it a memory?"

Justin nodded against Brian's chest. "I think so. I've been getting these flashes all evening, but they scare me and that's why I'm afraid to ask."

"Hey," Brian sat up and pulled Justin with him. "We're in this together. Never be afraid to ask me anything. How are you going to get your memories back if you don't ask?"

"Okay," Justin took a deep breath. "Are you…I mean…were you…" he trailed off. He ran a hand through his hair and breathed in again. "Brian, are you sick? I just have these flashes of you being sick and weak. I'm so scared, but also really pissed off at you and I don't understand any of it. If you're sick, why didn't you tell me? Is it…I mean are you…" He couldn't finish.

Brian took a moment to gather his thoughts. He had been hoping that his run-in with cancer, and Brian's reaction to it, would be one of the things Justin would forget permanently, but of course, that didn't work out.

After a long moment he finally spoke. "I was sick. I'm not anymore. It's not AIDS and I'm not positive. It was cancer, Justin. I had cancer."

"Oh, okay," Justin replied shakily. He was trying to be brave, but tears were pooling in his eyes. "But you're okay now?" Brian nodded. "What kind was it?"

Brian looked down at his hands for a moment and then let his eyes slowly come up to meet Justin's. "Testicular. They had to remove one of my balls."

Justin studied him thoughtfully for a few moments. "Yes, I remember. And you pushed me away and kicked me out. You thought I wouldn't want you anymore."

"That was the longest week of my life, Sunshine. Fuck, I needed you. I didn't want to admit it then, but you coming back was a huge relief to me."

Justin scrunched his brow. "A week? Why the fuck did I let you keep me away for a whole week. You must have been a mess." He cocked his head to the side. "I remember yelling something about chicken soup at you. I think I was kind of a dick."

"I deserved it. I really did. And the reason you stayed away for a whole week, is well…it has to do with some of those other "things" we were talking about earlier."

"Care to illuminate me?"

"You know I can't."

Justin sighed and nodded as he moved in close to Brian and took him in his arms. "Okay, I'll let it go. I'm just glad you're fine."

"Cancer free for two years now."

He pulled Justin closer and covered his lips with his own. Soon, their hands began to wander and Justin gently ran his fingers over Brian's balls. Brian knew what he was doing and fought the urge to pull away. "It feels real," Justin breathed out. Brian was about to say something sarcastic, but Justin spoke again. "I'm not sure, though; I'll have to do some more research." Justin swiftly moved down and attacked Brian's balls with his mouth.

Brian barked out a short laugh and simply let himself enjoy the attention.

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