Judas

Walk The Line For Me

Justin's POV

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I knew my day was going too well. I had just finished an interview for an internship, and despite my lack of experience, I knew I had a good shot at it. Actually my whole life had been going well. In the weeks since I'd left Ethan, I'd been really happy. For the first time in years, I had no one to answer to. I wasn't trying to please anyone but myself. School was going well. I was having a good time. I should have known it couldn't last. I should have been prepared for something to happen, but I wasn't. I was walking along thinking about calling Daphne to tell her how great the interview was and to see if she wanted to go out tonight when I heard it.

"Justin."

My name that was all, but it was enough. I knew that voice. Hell, I would have known it anywhere. I wanted to freeze; I wanted to run. I didn't know what to do. I was so not ready for this. For him. It would have been easy to keep going, to pretend I never heard him, but that's not my style. I turned toward the sound of his voice and knew I only had a few seconds to decide how to play this. With Brian, it's always a game. My best strategy was to play it cool. Never let them see you sweat, right? The only way to survive was to make sure he thinks I'm completely over him. No emotion, no reactions, I have to act like I am in complete control.

We exchanged the normal pleasantries. I did my best not to stare at him. I'd managed to forget what just the sight of Brian does to me. He looked sexy as hell. I always did love him dressed for work. He has the whole predator image done to perfection. He looked surprised when I reached out to shake his hand. What the hell did he expect? I wasn't going to hug him. Maybe he thought I'd be afraid to touch him. I should have been. I quicky found somewhere to sit. The simple feel of his hand left me weak in the knees. If we had stayed there much longer, I would have ended up in a puddle at his feet. I would do whatever I had to in order to convince Brian my feelings for him were dead. But any illusions I had about my own immunity to him were shattered with that one touch.

Initially, the conversation went well. We acted like acquaintances or former friends who haven't seen each other for years. He threw me by telling me he still wanted to pay my tuition. There was no way I was going to let that happen. I already owed Brian too much. I didn't want to think about the day I finally agreed to let him lend me the money. It seemed so long ago. I politely, but firmly tried to let him know I had it handled. He didn't like it, but he let it go.

I had been holding my own with Brian so far. I could tell that annoyed him because he tried to put me on the defensive by basically accusing me of avoiding him. I wanted to laugh in his face. I wasn't going out of my way to see him, but I certainly wasn't avoiding him. I still worked at the diner; I was living with his best friend's mother, for God's sake. If I was hiding, it was in plain sight. He was the one who dropped of the face of the Earth. He didn't like my answer so he kept pushing.

"Too busy for Woody's or Babylon? What have you been doing with yourself?"

Snide bastard. Brian and his loaded question. Well, two can play at this game. I met his gaze calmly, "Nothing that would interest you." Let's see what he can make of that answer. As soon as I saw the gleam in his eye, I knew I made a mistake. Brian hates to be challenged. He never backs down; instead he goes in for the kill.

"So how is the new lover? Evan or Ian, what is his name again?"

Fuck! What was Brian's angle? I knew he wanted to rattle me; that was a given. Maybe he hoped to embarrass me by reminding me of what I'd done. I wondered if he knew we'd broken up. He had to. Debbie practically took out a full page at announcing it when I finally gave Ethan the boot, as she liked to put it. Was he trying to force me to admit Ethan was a mistake? I decided it didn't matter. Whatever his agenda was, as long as I stuck to my game plan, everything would work out.

"Ethan, his name is Ethan. As to how he's doing, you'll have to ask him."

"I don't think so, Sunshine. I've always found conversations between former and current lovers to be so awkward. I wouldn't want to make dear Ethan uncomfortable," he was the picture of sincerity. God, he was good.

"But I've heard conversations between former lovers can be so much fun. You two can compare notes about what a pain in the ass I turned out to be. Then you could commiserate about what an ungrateful little shit I am. I think you'd have a blast." If Brian hadn't known about Ethan, he did then. From the brief look of shock on his face, I'd say he had no idea. I raised one eyebrow expectantly and waited for his comment. He may have started this, but I was determined not to back down.

Whenever I think I've mastered one of Brian's games, he changes the rules. I was prepared for some sarcastic remark about love and romance not lasting long or being bullshit, etc. Instead his eyes softened, and he leaned toward me before he spoke, "If he hurt you, I'll kick his ass."

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I settled for shaking my head. "No, he didn't hurt me. I never let him get close enough."

"Good boy. Now let's see what you have there," he replied gesturing to my portfolio. I knew Brian well enough to know what the change of subject meant. He was pleased with my answer, but he wasn't willing to continue with the discussion. It had gotten too personal for him. I didn't object because I was relieved. I wasn't ready for Brian to be nice to me.

I handed the portfolio to him and willed myself to be silent while he went through it. Brian's approval still mattered to me, but I didn't want him to know that. Luckily, there were no pictures of him or Ethan in there. Not exactly interview material. He paused at one drawing for a while. I knew he recognized it. He'd once offered me five thousand dollars for it. I wish I had taken the money; I wish I hadn't been so hard on him for trying to help me. There were a few drawings of Rage in there. I hoped that wouldn't set him off. It wasn't a time I particularly wanted to remember.

"These are good, but you already know that," he half smirked at me. I knew he was waiting for me to agree so I smiled at him. "Have you started working on the next issue of Rage yet? Maybe you can get your magazine to do a feature."

"I don't think there's going to be a next issue. At least not with me as the artist."

"Bullshit. If you're worried about Mikey, I'll take care of him," he waved his hand in the air as if he could magically fix everything.

I rolled my eyes at him, "That's all I need. You telling Michael to play nice. Like it's ever worked before. I don't have the heart for it anyway."

"Find the fucking heart." He stood over me and tilted my chin up so was looking at his eyes. "I don't want to see you give up on your dreams, ever." Then he gave me one of those looks that told me he meant what he said, and I was expected to listen, "The next issue had better be fucking fabulous. I've got to go. See you around, Sunshine." And then he was gone.

I was left sitting there wondering what the hell happened. Twenty minutes with Brian and I remember every reason I ever loved and hated him. He went from politeness to sarcasm to kindness in the space of one conversation. I'd kept my promise to myself and managed to remain in control of my emotions. At least externally. But inside, I was more confused than I'd ever been. I'd survived round one with Brian Kinney. Now I needed to brace myself for what would follow. Whatever the hell that was.

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