Judas

So Walk On Barefoot For Me

Brian's POV

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I thought I was prepared to see Justin again. Maybe if it had happened like I'd imagined, but it didn't it. I thought I'd see him in the diner one day or run into him on Liberty Avenue. I was ready for that to happen. He'd already been gone for two months, and we couldn't avoid each other forever. But I never saw him in any of those familiar places, and then he blindsided me. I had just stepped out of the elevator into the lobby of some anonymous office building. I was in a good mood; my meeting had gone well, and I had a new contract to show Vance. Then I saw him.

He was coming across the lobby toward me. I could tell he hadn't spotted me so I had a minute to study him. He looked stunning. He was dressed in the high end version of what they call business casual: tailored black pants and what looked to be a blue-grey silk shirt. It's not a style I care for; personally I prefer suits. But on Justin, it was perfect. He has this casual elegance that lets him carry it off. Also, it made him look older. The few times I'd seen him in a suit, he looked like a kid playing dress-up. Now he looked like an adult. A very fuckable adult. He was carrying a portfolio, and he was in his own world as usual. It would have been so easy to let him walk past. He never would have noticed me.

But as he approached, I found myself calling his name. "Justin," his name sounded strange to me. I hadn't said it out loud or even let myself think it since he left.

"Brian?" he turned toward me. He looked surprised but not shocked to see me. He stared at me for a minute, the way he used to before he started a drawing, then he smiled. It wasn't a big smile or a nervous smile; it was more like the kind of smile he gave the customers at the diner. "Wow, this is a surprise."

Then he did the strangest thing; he held out his hand to me. It took me a minute to respond because I couldn't believe him. I wanted to drag him into the bathroom and fuck him into oblivion. Actually, the bathroom was too far away; the elevators were a lot closer. So while I was envisioning a round of hot, illicit sex, he wanted to shake my hand? What the fuck was that? Finally, I took his hand and shook it politely, resisting the urge to pull him against me.

"What brings you here?" he asked when it became clear I wasn't going to say anything. He moved into the small reception area and sat down. "Your offices are still across town, aren't they?"

"Yeah," I answered absently as I followed him and sat down across from him. "I had a meeting upstairs. New client."

"How did it go?"

"Fine," I patted my briefcase. "Contract signed, sealed, and delivered. That should keep Vance off my back for a week or two."

He laughed a little before he spoke, "I'm sure you were your usual brilliant self. They never stood a chance."

This encounter wasn't going at all the way I thought it would. Justin was entirely too at ease. I decided to try and rattle him a bit, "So now that we've accounted for my presence, what the hell are you doing here?" I expected my directness to make him nervous; I was disappointed.

"I had an interview for a summer internship," he named some local magazine I was vaguely familiar with. "It's in their graphics department. A lot of it would be basic layouts, but I would be able to design some of the illustrations."

"So when do you start?"

"It was just an interview, Brian. I should hear in a week or two, but I'm not getting my hopes up. I'm sure they have plenty of candidates way more experienced than I am."

I shook my head. Sometimes his modesty just killed me. Did he honestly think they would find someone half as talented as he was? Or half as charming? If he made any effort at all to sell himself, the job was his. He can be very persuasive. Hell, look at all the things he convinced me to do. And in this one case, the problem with his hand could work in his favor. All his computer experience will give him another edge. If it wouldn't be hideously awkward, as well as way too revealing about my private life, I'd get him to come work for me.

"Deb will miss you at the diner," was all I said.

"Oh no, I'd keep my job there. It would be easy to switch all my shifts to nights. Internships don't pay much so I'll still need the money. I wouldn't want to give up the tips anyway."

For some reason, a vision of him showing me the money he made dancing at Babylon flashed before my eyes. I wondered if he was worried about next year's tuition. I didn't want him doing anything stupid like that again, but I wasn't sure how to broach the subject. We never talked about what would happen after he moved out. Hell, until now we hadn't talked at all. Justin kept reminding me to have a legal agreement drawn up, but I always put him off. It hadn't seemed necessary. I guess we both assumed we'd still be together when he graduated. What the fuck! Did I just think that? When the hell did I start assuming he'd still be with me? When did I start thinking of him as a permanent fixture in my life? Right before he walked out the door, apparently. I reached a hand up to ease the tension forming behind my eyes. I could feel Justin staring at me. "Justin, if you're concerned about tuition, don't be. We have an arrangement. Nothing has changed."

He met my gaze steadily, and I could hear the determination in his voice when he answered, "Look Brian, I'm not some fucking charity case. I can take care of myself."

I sat up straighter and gave him a look that let him know I wasn't pleased. He sighed and continued, "I'll be eligible for some scholarships after this semester. If that doesn't work out, I can take care of it."

"Just promise you'll talk to me before you do anything, all right." I decided not to push him too much right then. Mostly because he'd given me an idea. Scholarships. If he got too stubborn, I could endow some anonymous scholarship and make sure he got it. I could always throw in some extra money if the school doesn't want to go along with it. Satisfied that I could take care of this one way or another, I let him off the hook.

He seemed a little irritated, but he nodded and said, "Fine."

"Where have you been hiding? I haven't seen you around much." Justin looked at me in total disbelief, and I can't say I blamed him. I'd been avoiding him like the plague, and now I was asking him where he'd been. Of course it's not my fault if his shifts at the diner fall while I'm at work. And if I haven't stopped by to see Deb or Vic in the last few months, it's only because I've been busy. So let's see how he likes a little interrogation.

"Where have I been hiding?" he echoed. "Nowhere, Brian. I work and I go to school. That keeps me pretty busy."

Hmm, no direct mention of the fiddler although it was implied. He had school and work when he lived with me, and he still had plenty of time to spend with me. He must be spending all his free time with his starving violinist. I settled more comfortably in my chair. "Too busy for Woody's or Babylon? What have you been doing with yourself?" I asked in my most sarcastic voice.

He leaned back, crossed his arms over his chest, and looked me right in the eye, "Nothing that would interest you."

What the fuck! When did I lose control of this conversation? Justin should have been flustered seeing me for the first time. After all, I had every right to go off on him. I expected him to avoid my eyes and stammer out replies to my questions. I thought he would be uncomfortable at the mere hint or reference to his boyfriend. I even imagined him begging for my forgiveness. But instead, he was perfectly calm. He wasn't the least bit disturbed by my questions. Somehow, I ended up being the one off balance. Well, enough of this. I was going for the jugular.

"So how is the new lover? Evan or Ian, what is his name again?" I clasped my hands in my lap, sat back and waited.

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