After Brian
Part 7
Jennifer
"What do you mean there was a woman there!?" Justin screeched as I began to report back on my trip to the loft to retrieve his belongings. "A woman? Are you sure it wasn't Lindsay or Mel?!"
"Yeah, um, now that you mention it Justin, I think she did look like Mel. So maybe it was Mel."
"She's one of those nice lesbians, you know, the woman whose wedding we attended. You know Mel!"
I sat down at the kitchen table watching him blossom into full huff." For goodness sake, Justin, let me speak! It was Claire."
"Claire!? Claire, as in Brian's sister, Claire?! You're kidding me, right!? Claire!"
"Justin, she said she was Claire. I didn't ask to see her driver's license to match the name and photo. She looks like him, but smaller, you know, and not so Brian…"
"Christ, Claire!" Justin began to pace around the kitchen table, circling, circling.
"What's the big deal about his sister?"
"Mom, Brian doesn't talk with his family, they barely speak! He does things for them but I never met her, not even once!" He started punctuating each of his sentences by hitting the kitchen table.
"Jesus, Justin, no more coffee for you! What are you getting so worked up about?" This was strange. He had been a mess right after the Rage party, but after that he was ok up until now. I had been hoping to make it through the weekend without a tantrum from him. Oh, well.
"Did you see him?! Brian, did you see him? Did you speak to him? Was he ok? Did he ask about me?!" He began to circle the kitchen table again.
"He was asleep."
"Asleep! Asleep!" Justin went from too much coffee to unhinged in less then 30 seconds. I tuned him out - if he had anything important to say, he would calm down and think about it before he spoke. Justin was like that. Normally, you could practically see the wheels in his head turning, weighing options, checking out the scene before he spoke. Ok, the calm Justin, well, that was the old Justin. The new one was off his rocker and not making much sense. Last time he was like this was after he came back from the hospital. I just sat at the table and waited for him to calm down. Last time he knocked me across the room, and I wasn't in the mood for that little bit of his father peeking out again!
"Justin! Please, Justin!" He had been circling the kitchen table for 10 minutes babbling about whatever, which was starting to feel like 10 years. "Justin!"
He stopped and looked at me, as if I had snatched his favorite toy away from him.
"What?"
"Justin, you have to calm down. You're making me nervous. You're making the house plants nervous!"
"My God! Mom! I am! Calm!" His voice was so shrill now I swear I could hear the neighborhood dogs barking. Ok, he is losing it and he is irritating me. I'm not being very supportive and frankly I am not sure if I am in the mood to placate this baby now.
"Mom!" he shrieked! Oops, that last part was out loud, wasn't it? The look on his face confirmed this not so internal observation.
"Ok, look I brought your school work and some clothes. I'll make arrangements for the rest later. I have to go into the office and at least make an appearance today. Will you be ok on your own for a while?"
"God yes, just leave! Go, leave!" he huffed, stomping his foot like Molly does when told to do something she doesn't want to do. Molly is 15, Justin is 19 …it ain't any prettier on him.
"Justin." Ok, be supportive, voice your concerns and set your boundaries, my therapist's mantra chanted in my head. "Justin, go for a walk, take a shower, try to relax, please! I know this is stressful, but I don't want you getting sick. I have to go to work. I will be back as soon as I can and we can go over every little detail of my visit to the loft when I get back. Did I mention I smelled eggs and there were dirty dishes so I know Brian was eating? He was ok enough to eat!"
"Mooooom!" he moaned.
"Deb is right. You are such a Drama Queen!" I smiled at him. His face fell making him look all of 12. "Justin, really, it's bad now honey," I said getting up and going in for a hug. Oh boy! He lets me, doesn't push me away. Houston we have contact! "It will get better, you will see." Crap. Said that out loud too. The international signal to start weeping, which is what my big boy did. Hold on it's going to be a bumpy ride!