If It Made Sense, It Wouldn't Be a Mystery, Would It?

Chapter 1

Brian leaned back into the pillow, taking a deep drag on his cigarette. Justin curled up next to him, staring at his profile. He relished these moments as much as he did the ones leading up to sex- the post-coital closeness, the tenderness. Of course, he relished the fucking more than he could express, but these moments were special for very different reasons. The smell of cum, sweat and cigarette smoke hung in the air and Justin could not help but inhale deeply to take it all in. He glanced towards the large windows in the loft. Night had fallen hours ago; it was about 11PM.

Brian exhaled the smoke slowly, then suddenly inhaled it between his lips, as he often did. He turned to face Justin, staring into the young man's clear blue eyes. He curled his lips into a coy smirk. "Well, Sunshine… no job. No pricey liquid TV. No expensive Italian furniture. No fucking Attila Richards Lukacs painting- er, 'naked guy painting' as you put it. No Armani's, Yves St. Laurent's… and no… well, basically, no nothing…not even the fucking 'Vette. I've lost everything. Imagine that… the hand is quicker than the eye… "

Justin rolled his eyes and smiled at him. "You haven't lost everything, Brian. You still have-" He stopped short when Brian shot him a look. Justin grinned, "I was GOING to say, you still have your dignity, you asshole. It's not like everything I have to say is about how much I-" Brian shot him another look, fiercer than the last. Justin stayed quiet this time, still grinning.

Brian smirked, giving Justin a light kiss on the nose. Brian then shifted his gaze back to the ceiling. Justin lay next to him for awhile, trying not to look at him. Then Brian turned to face him again, and Justin looked at him full on. Brian studied Justin's face intensely for a moment, his brow slightly furrowed, his eyes flicking over Justin's features, as if he was trying to memorize them. Justin couldn't tell what Brian was looking for, or thinking, but whenever Brian looked at him that way, a tingling feeling radiated from his groin all the way down to his toes and out to his fingertips. Because he had his suspicions about what Brian was thinking. And while he may never hear Brian say it, Justin was pretty damned sure what that look meant.

Then Brian's eyes wandered absently from Justin's face, landing on some object somewhere behind Justin's head. His focus seemed to have left Justin for a moment. Slowly, he trained his eyes back to Justin's, his mouth eventually curling into a slight ironic smile; Brian exhaled a small breath- almost a sigh. He looked away.

Justin found himself smiling quietly- despite himself. He gazed at Brian- while he was no longer that wide-eyed, puppy-love-struck twink, he felt a weird giddiness since witnessing Brian in the past few weeks. He tried to muffle the expression he knew was on his face, of complete love and astonishment- after all, he figured, Brian was freaked out enough right now. He didn't need to deal with any schmaltzy love-sick stares from his nineteen year old… what?… boyfriend, in a non-conventional, non-defined sort of way, as Brian'd put it. Still, Justin could not believe what Brian sacrificed in order to defeat Stockwell. He also could not believe Brian fucking pulled it off in the eleventh hour…. Selling all of his possessions? Brian??? And in order to afford an anti-Stockwell political ad? It was so... out of character.

Justin reflected on the events of the past weeks; Brian had been almost freakishly un-Brian-like since… since when? Since they fucked- or, as Justin would like to imagine: since they made love- in Brian's office. Justin admitted to himself that he actually felt pleasantly perplexed by this new Brian- of course, he was still abrasive, cocky, sarcastic and rude- but relatively speaking, this Brian was a warm and fuzzy puppy compared to the sleek, sharp predator he'd fallen in love with. Justin was pleasantly perplexed, yes- and slightly disturbed. What the hell was going on? After nearly three years getting to know the ins and outs of Brian Kinney, (as well as anyone could, that is), this new Kinney was so different, Justin wondered if the earth had shifted off of its axis.

Justin broke his gaze from Brian and barely perceptively shook his head. One part of all of it that WAS characteristic "Brian": he didn't tell anyone that he, alone, was the "Concerned Citizens for the Truth." Brian never did things half-way, but he did do them quietly. Mikey's birthday. Visiting himself, Justin, every night in the hospital after the bashing, without letting anyone know. And then gluing Judge "Regular" Roy's butt to the toilet seat after the slap on the wrist he'd given Hobbs for the bashing. Getting Justin that computer so he could continue his art- and insisting he keep it even after Justin had left for Ethan. Brian paying for Justin's school- again, even after Justin had walked out on him. And now this…

"Well…" Justin broke the silence, "There IS still this bed." He leaned in towards Brian's face and brushed his lips lightly across his cheekbone. "Isn't that really all we need? All we basically ever needed anyway?" Brian blinked, let out a snort and turned to look at Justin again; Justin's face was just inches from his own. Justin winked.

"Yeah, well." Brian cocked an eyebrow and poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek thoughtfully, "I guess that's true. But, fuck, just to pay for the mortgage on this loft, I'm going to have to start charging the tricks in the backroom."

"Well, I'm sure I can get some prime cash for my ass." Justin paused for effect. "But I'm not so sure about your tired old thing."

Brian scoffed and rolled his eyes. "So, you're kickin' me while I'm down now, eh, dear old Sunshine?" he glowered. Then he leered wickedly. "Maybe I could just pimp you out instead. And watch."

Justin rolled his eyes, leaning over to kiss Brian's beautiful mouth. His tongue slipped in, exploring, probing. Brian was receptive, his tongue sparring lightly with Justin's. Despite the relative gentleness of the kiss, Justin's cock began to harden - again. It had maybe been 20 minutes since they had last fucked. Ever since Brian found him on Liberty Ave. that night and took him home and fucked him, he had been amazed at how equally matched they were in lust, passion, desire and stamina … much moreso than he had ever experienced with Ethan. He shuddered involuntarily, recalling all the nights he and Ethan simply weren't in synch. He had chalked it up to getting to know each other, each other's rhythms, but he had since realized that wasn't it at all- They just weren't meant to be together. Or something like that. Brian and he had been on the same wavelength since day one. Or night one. "I want you always to remember this, so I will always be with you, no matter where you are or who you are with…" As it turned out, the person he was with, who he'd ended up with, WAS Brian.

And thank God Brian took him back for a second chance. Leaving Brian for Ethan, for anyone, was the biggest fucking mistake he'd ever made in his life. But at the same time, he didn't regret it. It taught him more about Brian and about himself than if he hadn't left; Ethan's promises were empty, his romantic gestures mere ploys, his conversation- well, as Justin now looked back on it: egotistical, self-centered and really, really dull. All he talked about was himself, his music, and when Justin found out about Ethan cheating, it hit home how words, mere words, were meaningless. All the romance, all the floor picnics, the roses, the chocolates, that stupid, stupid ring: all a sham.

Brian didn't use words to convey his feelings, nor did he make promises. Or rarely, anyway. And when he did, his actions backed them up. Justin thought of the 'Rules' he had demanded Brian follow. Brian had. In fact, Emmett recently told him, Brian had seemed to keep those promises even after Justin had walked out on him. Emm said he'd not seen Brian kiss a trick or fuck one more than once since the Rage party. He obviously couldn't say if he'd been home by 3:00 every morning, but Justin thought it safe to assume that he had. In short, Justin concluded: Brian had true moral integrity. You could trust him, pain in the ass as he often was, dammit. And, Justin guiltily admitted to himself… he hadn't had such integrity. He broke the very promises he made Brian agree to- each and every one of them. Sometimes, Justin felt like such a prick. He hadn't recognized what Brian had given him, offered him. Well, he'd learned. And Brian had miraculously taken him back.

At that moment, Brian pulled away from their kiss, looking at Justin's face. His eyes were closed, he seemed almost entranced. "Justin… where are you?" Brian asked. He'd noticed Justin's response to the kiss had become very deliberate, or distracted. He wasn't sure.

Justin opened his eyes. Brian looked searchingly into the blue depths, which were far away for a moment before refocusing.

"Ermf…" was all Justin could manage, and with that, he lunged forward hungrily into a deep kiss that surprised Brian. It took Brian a moment to recover, Justin nearly chewing Brian's lips as his tongue withdrew. The ferocity of the attack shot straight to Brian's cock, and he matched Justin's passion with the viciousness of a predator. "Shit," Brian gasped when they came up for air, just before Justin caught his lips in a similarly breathtaking kiss.

Justin greedily reached for Brian's cock, and began to stroke it, not roughly, but insistently, causing Brian to hiss and close his darkened green-hazel eyes. Justin watched his lover shudder, his mouth slightly open, his tongue involuntarily licking his red, swollen lips. He stroked Brian's dick a little faster, varying the rhythms according to Brian's breathing, carefully fingering the tip of his penis to slick the pre-cum along the shaft as he felt the smooth, beautiful skin slide along his palm and fingers.

Brian opened his eyes slightly, with a look of lust, watching as Justin jerked him off.

Without even having touched himself, Justin's erection was already curved upwards, and with his slight lean forward towards Brian, he could feel the smooth, warm moisture of his own pre-cum trailing slickly along his belly as his dick swung in rhythm with his stroking Brian. He was about to come himself, and by Brian's erratic gasps and the hazy look in his eyes, Justin saw that he was too. Justin leaned forward and licked and bit Brian's ear, then whispered, "Fuck me, Brian. I want this fucking beautiful cock inside my hole. Fuck me!" Justin reached over and grabbed a condom and the lube.

Brian growled, pushing Justin back onto the sheets and hoisting his legs high over his shoulders, roughly, staring down at Justin's hungry, lustful eyes. "Fuck me…!" he begged, his voice hoarse, his tongue licking his lips in anticipation. Brian began to push his fingers into Justin's hole when Justin grabbed his wrist, "Just fuck me, fill me, fuck me--please!"

Brian positioned the head of his cock at Justin's hole, and thrust, deep, watching Justin's face. A look of pain as Justin's eyes squeezed shut and he half grimaced made Brian pause. "No, go on- don't fucking stop don'tfuckingstopfuckmeBrianfuckmefuckme" Justin pleaded, grasping Brian's ass and pulling him as deep as he could go. Brian inhaled sharply with the sudden jolt of pleasure from being pushed, pulled into Justin to the hilt. Justin's expression was first of pain, and then ecstasy. He felt full, complete, every nerve jangling with pleasure, his balls tingling slightly from as Brian's pubic hairs brushed his scrotum; inadvertently, he tightened his anal muscles.

"Fuck, Justin!" Brian gasped. He forced himself to curb his animalistic urge to begin fucking the shit out of him, knowing he hadn't prepared Justin's tight hole. Gritting his teeth, he began to slowly pump his cock. "Fuck!" his voice was ragged and breathless as he tried to resist.

Justin looked up at him impatiently, his eyes clouded with need, desire, lust. Without a word he shoved himself roughly against Brian, repeatedly, forcing Brian to go faster. "Harder, Brian- faster! Fuck me! Hard!!!" He rasped, trying to use his slight leverage to get Brian to fuck him as hard as possible...

Brian was completely in tune with Justin's body's pleas, irregardless of his verbal demands, and he figured if Justin wanted a rough fuck, he was more than happy to oblige. Watching Justin's face, he pulled nearly all the way out, then pushed in again hard, deep, pulled out again to the head of his cock and thrust deep, to the hilt, his balls slapping Justin's ass cheeks; Justin's eyes had glazed over, oblivious to anything but the sheer rapture he was experiencing. With every thrust, his open mouth turned up in a gasp of unadulterated bliss. Brian reached for his dick, but Justin grabbed his wrist, and shook his head. "I'm too close…" was all Justin could manage to whisper. So Brian started to fuck him hard and furiously, angling his cock into the depths of Justin's rectum, bumping his prostate in a slightly different spot with each powerful thrust. Eventually his sweat dripped onto Justin's chest. Justin used his hands to smear the pooled perspiration over his body mixed with his own. Brian leaned down and hooked his tongue into Justin's nipple ring, giving it perhaps too hard of a tug given how hard and fast he was shoving his cock in and out. Justin inhaled sharply, "I'm about to come- I want to come tog… tog…"

Brian's thrusts became shorter and shorter but faster and faster, his cock remaining mostly up to the hilt in Justin's ass.

"Bri…." Brian felt Justin coming, the rings of muscles in his rectum contracting convulsively as the first eruption of cum spurted over his head onto the headboard, the next onto his face, the next onto his chest. With each shudder, Brian felt Justin's muscles gripping his dick spasmodically as he thrust in deeply, going over the edge himself with the intense rippling sensation of Justin's coming, spurting wave after wave of cum into the condom tip. Brian purposefully aimed his last thrust hard against Justin's prostate, causing Justin to yelp and then moan, the shudders in his warm ass gripping Brian's pulsating cock, prolonging the final spasms for both of them.

Brian, panting, sweating, realized he had closed his eyes. He opened them and looked down at Justin, his eyes closed, mouth open, gasping, smiling, even laughing a little- he gripped Brian's ass again, pulling him greedily into himself, feeling another shudder roll through him from deep within his groin and ass. His cock twitched slightly as the shudder passed, a last small droplet of cum leaking out onto his belly, seeping into his navel. He steadfastly kept his grip on Brian, keeping him inside as long as he could as if trying to become one with him. Justin didn't want Brian to move, to leave his body, the fullness and warmth felt so pure, so right. Slowly, he realized where he was and he opened his eyes and looked deeply into Brian's. Brian's eyes had such a tenderness to them, such depth, that Justin was momentarily mesmerized. He could not move, could not blink, could not breath. Brian lowered himself onto his elbows, one hand moving up to brush the sweaty blond strands from Justin's forehead. He kissed him lightly on his slightly swollen, deeply pink lips. He didn't pull out- he didn't want to- ever. For a long time, neither said anything, they just looked at each other. Justin wasn't aware that he was smiling, his erratic breathing slowly evening out. Brian noticed how Justin seemed to have no idea of his own presence- he seemed only aware of Brian. Which made Brian smile gently and kiss Justin again, more deeply, the cum smearing onto his chest. Brian let his fingers play lightly with Justin's beautiful blond hair; he relished the softness, the sweaty dampness that slightly darkened his hair at the roots. He noted the slim line of pearly semen that had beaded from below Justin's right eye down to his chin, and he kissed and licked the cum from Justin's face, savoring every last drop; he then kissed Justin again, allowing him to taste his own essence.

"Brian…." Justin finally managed to whisper.

"Shhhh…." He smiled. He reluctantly pulled out and discarded the condom, and slid next to Justin to hold him. Suddenly he thought, 'here I am, holding Justin, all warm and sticky.' Well, actually, this was nothing new. It was just that, for some reason, it only now occurred to him.

"I love you," Justin whispered before Brian could shh him. So, instead, Brian kissed him. Then he said, "You're cleaning the headboard, you know..."

Justin just chuckled softly and closed his eyes. As he drifted off to sleep, he murmured, "I thought it was just a dream that you could make love while levitating..."

Puzzled, Brian shrugged slightly and laid his head on the pillow next to Justin's neck, breathing in his clean, sweaty scent. He sighed and closed his eyes.

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