Justin Comes Home

Chapter 7

POV JUSTIN

I'm pacing the hospital waiting room like a mad man, freaking out. Debbie, Michael, Emmett, Ted, Lindsay and Gus are here, huddled in small groups, crying or holding each other or both. I stomp over to the nurse's desk only barely aware that I can hardly see, my eyes are so puffy from crying. The nurse looks at me tiredly- I've been going up to her nearly every 5 minutes. "Any news?" I demand.

"No, sir. Mr. Kinney is still in surgery. The doctor will come out when he has some news for you. I know it's hard to be patient, but Dr. Flanders is an excellent doctor and your friend is in good hands."

"He's not my friend!" I hiss. "He's my partner! My lover!"

She looks chagrined. "Um. That's fine, Mr…"

"For the last time, I'm Justin Taylor!"

"Justin…" A hushed voice says behind me. I whip around, in a near frenzy. It's Debbie. She's been crying extensively, mascara stains under her eyes and down her cheeks. "Shhh. Justin, come on. Let's go over here and wait. They'll let us know as soon as they have news about Brian, sweetie." She leads me to the plastic crap-assed waiting room chairs and sits me down in the one nearest the doors to the ward. She sits next to me. "Now, Sunshine- I've known Brian a lot longer than most people in this room…" I glance over and see Michael pacing, crying- weeping actually. Lindsay is pacing too, cajoling Gus to stop crying- but with everyone else in the room doing crying, I can't blame him for being inconsolable even if he doesn't fully grasp the magnitude of the situation.

"Justin." Deb says, pulling my attention back to her. "As I said, I've known Brian a very long time. He's a survivor. He survived a lot in childhood- a LOT. For all his sophisticated, beautiful looks and dress, on the inside the boy-- the man-- is a fighter. He's very *very* strong. Just like you are. He'll pull through this, Sunshine."

I sob. "Deb, there was so much blood. He passed out holding my hand. Deb, he got shot protecting me, saving me, defending me- from someone I left him for, someone who beat me… Ethan ambushed him. And it was my fault Ethan knew he was behind him- I couldn't help but look at Brian right behind Ethan."

"Hush, Sunshine. It wasn't your fault. And you saved Brian, too, you know. You got him right to the hospital- otherwise he would have bled to death. And that creep Ethan's under guard and in a coma here in the hospital. He can't hurt you anymore. Or Brian. Justin, as I said, Brian's a true fighter. He's going to be fine."

I look away and then get up. I go over to Lindsay and offer to take the crying Gus from her. She swipes her eyes with one hand and sniffles, mutely handing me her- Brian's- son.

"Hey Gus…" I sniff, bouncing him a little. God, he looks so much like his father and I momentarily squeeze my eyes shut and kiss the toddler's forehead. There's something underneath the baby shampoo and Mr. Bubble scents that smells like Brian and I choke back a sob. I look at the boy again and try not to cry in his face. I study his features, swollen from crying himself. He's getting sleepy- it's late and he's been bawling for several hours. He leans his head against my shoulder and yawns, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

I suddenly hear the swinging doors to the room open and I quickly hand Gus back to Lindsay. I rush over to the doctor who has entered the room. I choke when I see the amount of blood on his smock. "Mr. Taylor?"

"Yes! Yes- how is Brian? Please!" I sound desperate and I am. I've grabbed his arm and I cling to it like it's a lifeline. "Doctor, how is he?" I demand.

I vaguely notice that everyone else has gathered round as well.

"Mr. Taylor, Mr. Kinney has lost a lot of blood. The bullet went all the way through, so we didn't have to remove it, but it ruptured the spleen so we had to go in and remove that."

I cough and tug his arm pleadingly. "Doctor, is he going to be alright?- Please tell me! Is he going to live?"

He clears his throat and I feel Debbie and Lindsay both place their hands on my back. "Mr. Taylor, he should be fine. He'll just be very sore for awhile, and he'll need follow up attention of course."

I find that I'm laughing through my tears all of a sudden. Something inside me melts or snaps or something and I release this pent-up worry; my shoulders shake as I allow myself to cry full on, relief washing over me in waves. "Doc… Doctor Flanders, can I… may I see him…? Please?" I manage between my hitching breaths.

He eyes me warily. "Only family."

"Doctor, please. We *are* his family- please let Justin see him. He's Brian's partner and I think he'd do Brian some good. I really do." Debbie begs.

"Ma!" Michael says, first word he's really said all night - that I've noticed anyway. He's obviously indignant, thinking that he should be the one to go in first.

"Michael- come on!" Deb snaps. "Now is not the time."

The doctor watches these dynamics and then his eyes come to rest on me as he weighs his answer. "I suppose it's alright, Mr. Taylor. Just don't upset him if he wakes up; he needs his rest. He's not conscious at the moment."

"Of course- I won't! Thank you! Please- take me to him!" I'm practically pushing the doctor out of the waiting room towards the ward. "Please!"

"Mr. Taylor, slow down!" He protests as I continue to jostle him, urging him towards wherever Brian is.

I ignore him and begin begging. "Please- show me where he is…!"

Dr. Flanders sighs and picks up the pace. "Fine, Mr. Taylor." He says finally, reaching the end of the corridor. "He's down that hall in room #8." He says and I break into a sprint, bursting into the room while at the same time trying to be quiet.

Brian looks pale for him; there's an IV in his arm and a thin oxygen tube in his nose. He's hooked up to all these monitors and the beeps are both reassuring and scary. I sit next to him and it's not like he's asleep- he's totally unconscious and his unbelievably beautiful features have an otherworldly quality I've never seen before. It's unsettling.

I take his hand carefully, being sure not to disturb the IV needle. I kiss his fingers gently, not mindful of the tears dripping from my cheeks onto his hand and the thin sheet covering him. "Oh, Brian…" I whisper. I watch his eyelids; he's apparently in REM sleep or some drug-induced state.

After a few minutes, his eyes blink and crack open. "Mmmmph…" He slurs.

"Brian!" I exclaim, a little more loudly than I intend in my excitement.

Brian winces slightly with the volume.

"Sorry!" I whisper. "Brian, you're awake!"

He looks around as well as he can with all the tubes and the pain he's in. "Where tha fuck… I'm in tha hospital? Wha' did Jack do to me?"

He's obviously disoriented. "Brian, Jack's gone- it's me, Justin. You were shot…"

His eyes widen a little in surprise, then an expression crosses his face that shows he's remembering what happened now. "Fucckk me…" He mutters sloppily, trying to lift his arm to rub his eyes before finding he can't bend one because it's cuffed for blood pressure measurement and the other because it's stuck with a long IV needle. "Wha' tha fucckk! I cann't move!"

"I know, Brian. This is temporary though. You're going to be fine, Brian! You had a lot of surgery- I've been here waiting for word all night-- everyone has! We've all been so worried!" My tears still fall on his arm as I firmly clasp his hand. I grin through my tears.

He smirks weakly. "Juss," he says, his eyes showing that he's getting more and more oriented. "Ethan- Ethan didn't hurtchoo, did he? Where is he? Do we need to getchoo protection?"

I smile and kiss his fingers again. My heart swells. Leave it to Brian, shot and hurting, to think of me first. I can't control these damned tears.

"And stop cryin', Sunsh... no one's worth all this drama…"

"Shut up. You're more than worth it, Brian. And about Ethan- you clocked him really good with that wine bottle- do you remember that? You did that to save me, Brian. I would be dead now if you hadn't- you saved my life- and almost lost your own in the process."

He rolls his eyes. "Shut up, Juss… yeah, I sort of remember hitting him over the head. He was gonna kill you, Sunsh… And you musht've saved me if I got here."

"I called 911 and put pressure on the bleeding till they got there is all."

"See? And you shtayed with me."

"Yes, of course I stayed with you." I say, somewhat dumbstruck that he's surprised by that. What, was I going to leave him bleeding in the loft or alone in the ambulance? "Brian, you should know that you knocked Ethan out- just at the same time he shot you which is why you're here. He's upstairs somewhere under guard. He's in a coma."

Brian frowns. "I didn't mean to put him in a fuckin' coma. I hate all comas. But I jus' wanted to stop him… Although you know, I actually would have killed him if anything happened to you. He was gonna kill you, Sunsh… " He repeats. He's obviously still somewhat knocked out by the drugs- but I don't care. He's alive, awake, and going to be fine.

"I know you didn't really want to put him in a coma, Brian. But you saved my life and he's going to jail. Horvath said after what he did to you, shooting you- he'll be going away for a long time."

He nods almost drunkenly with a small smile. God, he's beautiful. "Good riddance. Motherfucker." I laugh despite myself. Brian looks at me. "He didn't hurtchoo, right?" He repeats groggily.

"No, Brian. You stopped him." I grin. He's so out of it.

Brian looks down at himself in bed. "What'd he do to me? I mean, I know he shot me… but what's tha damage?"

I inhale sharply. "Well, the bullet went through you- your left side. It hit your spleen." I lower his covers to show him the bandages where he had surgery.

Brian winces as he looks down at himself. "My spleen?"

"They had to remove it. The bullet ruptured it. But you're going to be fine, Brian. You can live without it- honest. Doctor Flanders is a really good doctor. That's what everyone says. I remember even hearing good things about him when I was here after Hobbs…" I trail off- he's busy looking at the bandage so I don't think he caught that last bit- which is good, because the bashing always affects him and he doesn't need that right now.

He swallows and raises the sheet again. "So, there's gonna be a scar, huh?"

I laugh again. Leave it to Brian to jump to that issue as opposed to any other at this moment. "I don't know, Brian. But scars are sexy. Anything on you is sexy."

He rolls his eyes and again attempts to raise his hand to his face but can't because of the needle and cuff. He huffs in frustration. "When can I get out of here? What tha fuck time is it anyway?"

"It was about 8 last night when we got here-" I check my watch. "And it's about 5AM now. You got out of surgery not long ago."

"Juss… you should go home an' sleep." He mutters weakly.

Just then the doctor comes in with everyone else. "You up for a few more visitors?" He asks as everyone files in behind him.

"Hey Mikey…" Brian mutters weakly, as Michael is the first in. "Gus! Lindsay… Deb…" He greets everyone as they come in, faces red, puffy and splotchy from crying. Brian's getting tired, I can tell, although he's trying to cover.

"Hey, asshole…" Deb says, taking in his appearance. "I knew you'd pull through- you've always been a fighter."

He smiles wanly and takes her hand as she sits gingerly by him on the bed. "Gus… Sonny Boy…!" He says to his son.

Gus looks at his father with horror and fear in his eyes. "Daddee!" He reaches for his father, leaning down towards the bed while in Lindsay's arms; he's never seen his father as anything but tall, strong, playful, healthy and active- now he looks different. Weaker and tired, with tubes and wires attached to him. "Daddee! You're hurt! Daddee, what's wrong? Daddee!" He bursts into tears again and keeps reaching for Brian.

Brian get a brief look of pain in his eyes for scaring his child. "Shh, Sonny Boy- I'm okay. You know sometimes when you get sick and have to stay home from preschool?"

Gus pulls back and leans against his mother, regarding Brian with tears in his eyes. He nods slightly.

"Well, I'm just a little sick."

"But wha's all the beeping and tubes, Daddee?"

Brian squeezes his eyes shut. "Mommy will explain it to you, alright Gus? Later. But I'm going to be fine- so don't be scared."

Gus begs to get down and Linds looks to Brian, who nods his assent. "S'okay, Linds. He can come to the bed. Just be gentle old man, okay?" He says to Gus. Deb wipes her eyes and gets up and out of the way so Gus can come over to his Daddee.

Lindsay puts Gus down and he rushes to the side of the bed, in a wobbly fashion. I look away, unable to bear seeing Gus as he bawls beside the bed as Brian weakly strokes his head to comfort him, barely holding in his emotions himself.

"Sonny Boy, don't be sad. I'll be alright. Okay?"

Gus whimpers and doesn't really hear him- he's so worried about his father. "Daddee…" He sobs. "You're hurting…"

"Shhh. I'm okay, Gus. I'll be fine, you'll see." Gus calms a little with his Daddee's words of reassurance- though he still clings to Brian's hand, scared to touch where the tubes and wires are. Brian looks around the crowded room. "Hey, guys…" Brian says, his energy nearly spent now. "I think I need some rest now, okay? I'm not into pity parties anyway…" We all get small grins, which obviously is his intention although his focus never wavers from his son who is quickly scooped up by Lindsay. Gus screams at the separation from his father. Brian's eyes close and I see one tear escape down his cheek.

"Hey, Bri?" Michael says.

"Hey, Mikey." Everyone else ducks a little and leaves the room. "Hey, Juss…? Could you see if I can have some water?"

Taking my cue, I leave the two of them to be together alone for awhile, and go get some ice chips.

When I get back, Michael is sitting on the edge of the bed holding Brian's hand and stroking his cheek. I inadvertently overhear some of what he's saying. "Brian… you had me so scared…"

"I'm sorry Mikey. I know. I didn't mean to scare anyone…"

"Sorry's bullshit, right? And I'm just happy you're okay. I'm so happy you are. I love you Brian…"

"Always have--"

"Always will." Michael finishes.

"Mikey, I need to get some rest - I'll be fine though. You need to rest too- you've been up all night. Go home and get some sleep and I'll see you as soon as I'm able, okay?"

Michael nods and gets up, leaning down for a kiss on the lips. "You, Brian, are beautiful and one of the strongest people I know. No, you *are* the strongest person I know. I love you." He turns towards the door to see me standing there with a cup of ice chips. Brian's so weak now he doesn't even know I'm here judging by his behavior. "Take good care of him, Boy Wonder." Michael says simply.

I nod, finding my brain flashing back to the night I met Brian, when he took me to see newborn Gus.

Michael leaves, admonishing me to keep everyone- especially him- informed. I of course say that I will and then I'm alone with Brian. His lids are drooped- almost closed. I check my watch- 5:45. He needs to sleep. "You still want some ice chips, Brian?" I whisper.

He shakes his head. "This IV has me to the point of bursting. C'mere, you beautiful blond bombshell." He lightly pats the bed. I go over and tentatively lay next to him.

"You're warm. And you smell so good. And you're brilliant. And you're gorgeous." I say, careful not to dislodge any cords or tubes or whatever. I move my hand gently over his skin under the blanket, drawing circles over his musculature; I listen as his breathing becomes deep and regular and I find myself drifting off to the sounds of the monitors all around. "And best of all, Brian, you're alive." I whisper just before I lose all semblance of consciousness and fall asleep.

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