Justin Comes Home

Chapter 15

POV: JUSTIN

I look over and see that Brian's asleep. I have no clue how long I've been out of it, but there's that nurse - Nurse Betty Patterson, I believe. She's sleeping in a chair on the far side of Brian's bed. She's apparently been watching over him.

I know Brian likes her, and there is a very, VERY small handful of 'breeders' that Brian genuinely likes; in fact, I can count them on less than two hands: Deb; Carl; Cynthia; his friend from college, Brad; my Mom; and I think there are a few of Lindsay's and his friends also from college who I don't know much abou t- who he really doesn't spend time with but who he also doesn't scoff at if they come up in conversation.

He has respect for other 'breeders' - but again, there are only a select few he actually likes and is willing to spend his precious leisure time with and not snark about.

So, back to Nurse Betty: if Bri likes her, I immediately trust her even if I really don't know her that well. She's also taken a very special liking to Brian, (she has the fucking hots for him) - which probably explains why she's felt comfortable enough and relaxed enough to doze off by his bed. He would never rat her out.

"Nurse Patterson! Betty!" I whisper as loudly as I can so as not to wake Brian but to wake her; needless to say, I'm pretty sure if the doc came in for his rounds and found her asleep that she'd get in trouble. She rouses herself. Then she sees me smiling at her and she winks at me tiredly, muttering a very quiet 'thanks for waking me' under her breath. She casts a concerned eye at Brian. "I think he's okay, Ms. Patterson," I say quietly. "I mean, as okay as he can be under the circumstances."

She feels his forehead and takes his pulse. Then she nods at me and passes me and my lover to quickly leave the ward.

I glance at the clock- shit! I've been sleeping for the last 3 hours!

I decide to simply try to relax. I lay back and watch Brian sleep; he looks so ethereal and peaceful. Then I'm vaguely aware of a nightmare surfacing in my consciousness. A nightmare I had moments ago in which Ethan was hurting Brian. As I think of the dream, I shiver as it becomes more and more vivid in my mind.

In the dream, I was screaming. I was begging and pleading for Ethan to stop hurting Brian; but I was frozen, unable to move to stop the psychotic freak. He became more and more vicious with every torturous, sick, disgusting act he committed against Brian… and then Ethan turned on me and I could literally feel the blows he was raining on me even though it was only a dream. It seemed so real, it brought back the actual experiences I lived through with that sadist.

Then in the nightmare, Brian went from being hurt on the ground to being larger than life; all his wounds disappeared. He towered over Ethan and pulled him off me. He was like a superhero; he was like… well, like RAGE without the dumb costume or the mask or the over-muscled physique. Frankly, he was beautiful Brian in a well tailored Armani suit. Just like the one he was wearing when he found me at that McDonald's awhile ago, come to think of it.

In the dream, Brian, healed and strong, yanked Ethan off me, pushed him against the wall, punched him once and left him unconscious, crumpled on the floor. Then he came to me, kissed me and all my bruises disappeared. He saved me. In the nightmare, I saw Ethan trying to get up from the floor to kill Brian but then he was suddenly dead. He was shot. But not by Brian. By the police.

Hm: A dream based somewhat on real life, eh? Well, in a way.

But unfortunately, in real life Brian's still very hurt, and my bruises still exist.

One thing is true: Brian saved me. In my dream and in real life.

Still, even with the 'happy ending' in my dream, the pain of seeing Brian hurt so gruesomely is what sticks with me. I think that's because I saw what had happened to him when I found him cuffed to that psycho's bed; and I saw him get tortured further before Ethan was finally killed by the cops.

My thoughts rouse from my dreams into my reality. I vaguely remember Brian saying something to the nurse about how he actually believes that he's the villain in my nightmares.

Fucker. He was - he IS - the fucking *hero*, the stupid shit! In my dreams, nightmares, and even moreso in my fucking pathetic LIFE! He's saved me so many times! I wish he knew how much I love, admire and cherish him. And the beauty part of this is that he feels the same about me. Of course, he didn't need to save my life for me to feel the way I do towards him. But I just hate that he feels like he was responsible for the pain I went through.

And look at the pain he's been through because of *me*! Hell, the pain he's *still* going through because of me! I can see our relationship and the Ethan FIASCO in a very clear light now. Brian's love was and is so much stronger, so much more obvious, so much more golden, pure and beautiful than anything I could find with anyone else; ANYone else - but fuck me: *especially* with Ethan.

Ethan, with his pretty words, his romantic cards, his chocolates and flowers and that fucking stupid, STUpid ring. Ethan, the arrogant, self-centered, boring, snooty psycho. Fuck, Ethan ended up hurting me more than anything I ever experienced with Brian. And Brian truly loved me. He never wanted to hurt me- he pushed me away to keep me from him because he thought he was not only unable to love, but he thought he was unlovable himself. He put what he thought was in my best interest ahead of what he wanted. He feared that he'd hurt me if I fell in love with him. Because, again, he felt and feels he can't love and is unlovable.

But it was too late: I'd fallen in love with him from the first moment I saw him. That first moment when he was in his feral, predatory mode on Liberty Avenue; and then again from the first moment I saw his tender, gentle side; and then *again* from the first moment I saw his protective, take-charge side. Fuck me: he was all I could see from the first second I laid eyes on him, period.

So here we have the crux of the matter: little Mr. 'If-You-Won't-Say-The-Words-And-Give-Me-Floor-Picnics' Taylor left the one real love in his life for Ethan Gold. And within about a week, 'wonderful', 'romantic', egotistical and maniacal Ethan Gold ended up fucking beating me, fucking me over, screwing me up-

(((…And raping me, but Brian doesn't know about that…)))

Yet, despite all the hurt I put Brian through, as always, he's here to heal me. He's here with me. And in the process of picking up the pieces of my sorry life, he gets horribly hurt, AGAIN.

I feel like… I don't know. I feel like the most idiotic, foolish, superficial, selfish, creepy, undeserving asshole in the world. I mean, I stayed with Ethan even after the beatings started for several reasons: most of all, because of his threats to kill Brian if I tried to leave. But also, I felt I deserved to be beaten to a pulp after what I did to Brian.

But Bri was clear after I admitted that to him; he insisted that I didn't deserve what I went through. Honestly, I still think I did; but I'm glad I'm with Brian now, and that Ethan's dead and gone.

I sigh. It's apparent Brian's in a deep sleep. I just lay here and look at him.

Suddenly I'm aware of someone passing my bed and going directly to Brian. This man starts shaking Brian's arm to wake him. "Hey!" I exclaim, alarmed. "Leave him alone! He's hurt!! Stop!!! STOP!!!"

"Shut up, punk!" the fucker sneers, facing me with his lip curled; I'm momentarily struck dumb. He looks oddly and unsettlingly familiar.

"YOU shut up, asshole! Leave him be!" I madly search for the nurse call button.

The jostling of his extremely sore body rouses Brian from his deep sleep. Fuck me! Who is this fuckface hurting him?

Brian's eyes open a crack. Then they widen. "Ethan?" he rasps.

*That's* who he looks like! I knew he reminded me of someone! My blood runs cold.

"STOP IT!" I scream. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!"

Brian can't manage to say anything else for a few moments as the stranger is hurting him so terribly by shaking him. "Stop," he finally croaks out. "Stop it!" The man is *still* painfully yanking at Brian's arm.

"STOP IT!" I scream. "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!"

He sneers at me again, then turns back to Brian. "My name's Nathan," the freak says calmly as he finally releases Brian's arm. I can see the very subtle look of relief in Brian's features although it's obvious to me that he's still in severe pain. I'm madly fishing around in a panic: 'WHERE IS THAT NURSE CALL BUTTON!?' I think to myself.

"Oooookay. So, narrow this down: who the fuck are you, 'Nathan'?" Brian hisses. How he keeps his calm with all the pain he's in and under these circumstances, I don't understand.

"Again: Nathan. Nathan Gold."

The monitors attached to Brian's body start beeping more rapidly. I myself feel my heart leap into my throat.

"Who?" Brian asks through clenched teeth.

"I'm Nathan Gold. I'm Ethan Gold's older brother."

Brian's seething and I worry he'll go into some kind of arrest at the rate his heart monitor is racing. "NATHAN Gold. Brother of ETHAN Gold? My, you have such original, creative parents," Brian hisses. "Nice names." He clenches his jaw a moment. "So, what the fuck do you want? Why are you fucking *here*?"

I'm in a total panic; I suddenly realize that I'm feeling around for the nurse call button on the wrong side of my bed.

"Well, I got a post-mortem letter delivered to me yesterday; you know, from Ethan. He had his lawyer send me this letter in case of his death. He wrote that I should contact you, Kinney. He wrote that you would know of a Justin Taylor. He indicated that were he to be found dead, Ethan suspected this Mr. Taylor was likely to have killed him. He said Taylor was obsessed with you, Kinney, and that he'd kill Ethan to get to you, since you and Ethan were together.

"Eth wanted me to warn you."

I'm in shock. Brian, from what I can tell through those bandages, is both in shock and even more, he's enraged. But he maintains his cool, as always. "Nathan, go away. I don't know a Taylor. And if I did, I wouldn't believe Ian's word about Taylor's 'intentions' for anything. That letter is only the obsessive ramblings of a violent psychotic. And *Nathan*, your brother and I have *never* been together."

POV JUSTIN

Shit. Shit. Holy shit! I look over at this Nathan Gold creep, at Ethan's brother, who is basically telling Brian I'm Ethan's killer. What puzzles me is why Ethan would leave his brother a letter about me being the one who killed him? And why would Ethan tell him to warn Brian that I was basically Bri's obsessed stalker? For one thing, Ethan would of course have known that Brian hated every cell in his demonic being; and also, the freak fiddler was only a year older than me. It's not like he was on his death bed! Why leave a letter like that?

Thank the lord I'm with Brian again. But now, with this Nathan Gold weirdo suddenly here - I'm scared for Brian's life all over again.

Brian can barely move, although anyone can tell he's pissed as hell. I'm at about 90% health-wise; the hypothermia is gone now. It's just the meds that keep me fairly lethargic and uncoordinated, which is why I can't orient myself well to find the call button. I'm not as sedated as I would have been if Brian didn't thankfully stop Nurse Betty from giving me so many drugs, but... I'm still pretty wobbly.

With effort, I sit up and glare at this Nathan guy.

"Nathan," I say between clenched teeth.

He looks over curiously.

"Nathan, I'm Justin Taylor."

He grimaces. "You've got to be kidding me, kid. You killed my brother!? Ethan said you were young- but not fucking 10!"

"Hey! Get the fuck out of here!" Brian hisses. Fuck, he does *not* need this aggravation in his condition. Normally this guy would be an hors-d'oeuvre for Brian to devour and he wouldn't have any impact on Bri at all. But Brian's basically… he's basically compromised in many ways right now.

"So, Brian," Nathan purrs, turning back to my lover, ignoring me and Brian's demand he leave. "Ethan wrote that you're beautiful. I can see he was right. But what happened to you? You look really hurt."

Brian strains to sit up more. "Your BROTHER happened to me! He was insane! He tortured me for three days, he shot me twice and I almost fucking DIED. Because of your BROTHER, Nathan. So, sorry if I find you disgusting, abhorrent and creepy, but you know how it is: 'guilt by association'. So, *get out of here*!"

Again, Nathan ignores Brian. "So, this is your stalker, Justin Taylor, hmmm?" Nathan asks, gesturing towards me like I'm a piece of meat.

"You fucking Gold's don't know English very well, do you?" Brian spits out.

Nathan smirks. "I'm trying to *help* you. This Taylor lunatic is after you. Look - he's in the bed right next to you!"

"I don't need your help. Justin's not stalking me - your brother Ethan was obsessed with *him*! Justin and I are partners so I was in the way of Ethan being with him - in Ethan's sick mind, anyway. That psychotic brother of yours tortured me and was planning on killing me to get me out of the way so he could have Justin!" Brian's voice is weak but determined.

I force myself to get up out of my bed and I get in Nathan's face. "Get out of here!" I spit at him. Then I'm shocked when this Nathan guy backhands me hard and I fall to the floor. "What the fuck!?" I exclaim when I recover. Still feeling dizzy from the blow to my head, I rise unsteadily to my feet and pounce on him. I vaguely notice Brian trying to reach his nurse call button, but he can barely move with all his injuries.

Yet, when Brian sees his call button drop to the floor by the bed, he amazingly shifts and gets weakly to his feet. "GET AWAY FROM HIM!" he yells. It's obvious his adrenaline is pumping hard.

One of the other patients wakes and sees the fracas and thankfully finds his call button. Then I find that Nathan and I are rolling on the floor and my focus is completely on subduing this fucker.

"Justin!" I hear Brian's hoarse voice. "Justin, stop! The orderlies will be here any second and you'll be thrown out of the hospital! Or into jail! I need you here!"

I freeze upon hearing that last sentence. "What?" I look at Brian who has collapsed helplessly back on the bed in enormous pain. I can't believe he stood – the broken bones alone should have made that impossible, let alone all the other injuries he has.

"Sunshine, stop. I need you here," he whispers.

My jaw drops at his declaration; everything and everybody disappears to me except for Brian. Beautiful Brian.

Just then, this Nathan sucker punches me and everything goes black.

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