Endeavor
Chapter Eight: August

"So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work." - Peter Drucker

Brian handed Justin his handkerchief. “Congratulations.”

Justin looked at the cloth and then over to Brian. “Is giving someone your handkerchief some advertising tradition I don’t know about?”

“No.” Brian took it back from Justin and dabbed the sweat off Justin’s face. “I could see you sweating during your whole acceptance speech.”

“I was nervous and I had to keep getting up,” Justin spoke with awe. He looked at the three Clio awards placed on the table in front of him. “I can’t believe this. I haven’t even been in advertising for a whole year.”

“I believe it,” Eric chimed in from beside Justin. “You were so dedicated at school; it obviously transferred to your work.”

“You’re a genius,” Brian added.

Justin looked from Eric to Brian, smiling. “Thank you.”
 

*****

“Come on,” Justin begged, “you don’t start school for another week, Eric.”

“Exactly, school starts next week. I’ve got to get my sleep schedule synced with school, Justin. I’ll go out for a drink with you guys to Woody’s or something but…”

“All of our friends don’t believe you exist,” Brian said, putting one arm around Justin’s waist and the other around Eric’s shoulders.

Brian was only partly encouraging Eric to go out with them because he wanted to see Justin happy. This was fucked up in itself. The other reason, which he didn’t want to admit to thinking about, was more demented. Eric could act like a buffer between himself and Justin. He wouldn’t have to care about being with Justin every second they were at Babylon. Brian wouldn’t have to analyze why he cared or why he’d rather dance with him instead of fucking a hot new arrival.

“What are you talking about?” Eric asked as they stopped in front of his car. “I’ve met a few of your friends. They know I exist.”

“Well, they’re not going to like you much after tonight,” Brian quipped, beeping the alarm lock for his car.

“Shut up, Brian,” Justin chastised. “If Eric doesn’t want to go…”

“I want to go,” Eric interrupted. “I just can’t.”

“We get it,” Brian challenged. “Getting on your schedule, something that probably could wait one day is much more important than celebrating a HUGE achievement with your partner. Too bad Justin didn’t feel the same way when he missed a staff meeting to go to your little award thing and then took you out for dinner and dancing afterward.”

Justin ignored his heart twisting as Brian seemed so readily to encourage Eric’s intrusion. Which really wasn’t an intrusion at all because, HELLO! He’d been the one to invite him in the first place. Eric was his partner so it shouldn’t be an intrusion at all.

“Brian,” Justin warned. “This isn’t any of your business.”

“Right,” Brian stated, walking over to his car. “It’ll only be me you talk to about it.”

Justin gritted his teeth to stop himself from screaming about the confusion he felt pulsing within him. He knew that he hadn’t just invited Eric because he felt like he’d ignored him throughout the award party, he really had wanted him to go. But the night would be so different if Eric was there. Brian would be so different if Eric was with them at Babylon and Justin didn’t want to deal with that, not tonight. He wanted it to be Brian whom he celebrated with and painstakingly realized that the only reason he had invited Eric was because he was so sure he wouldn’t go.

“He’s right,” Eric said. “You supported me, even if you did fall asleep.” Eric smiled as he kissed Justin softly. “I want to celebrate with you, tonight.”

Brian hopped in the Vet and started the engine. “See you at Babylon,” he yelled before pulling away.

Justin sagged against Eric. “Are you sure you want to come? I know you care about me, Eric. You’ve been a constant support to me since we met. You don’t have to let him guilt you into going.”

“He isn’t guilting me into anything. I want to go. I haven’t been clubbing in a long time. Come to think of it, I haven’t been to Babylon since it was remodeled after the bombing.”

Justin ran around to the passenger side of the Prius while telling himself to stop acting like an indecisive, ungrateful asshole. “Come on then,” he said. “We’re going to have a great time, I promise.” Perhaps the promise was more to make himself believe it, but as soon as that thought entered his mind he buried it.
 

*****

“Thanks, Mira. The boards look perfect and I love the change you made by adding the green trim. It really ties the presentation together.”

Mira blushed at the praise. “I’m glad you like it, Mr. Taylor. Is there anything else I can do before I leave?”

“Actually, if you could check our stock of supplies and email me what needs to be ordered, that’d be great. We’ve been so busy I haven’t had the time to do it.”

“I can do that,” Mira replied, heading out of Justin’s office. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Mira.” Justin was extremely happy that Mira had become a perfect fit at Exhibition. All the staff respected her and things ran so much more smoothly than they had before with Anna as the Liaison. Business had picked up wildly since Brian had brought in so many new accounts, thanks to his mother’s wedding and the contacts made at the Clio awards, which kept Exhibition extremely busy. Brian had been talking to him about possibly moving the business from the small floor they had in the downtown office building to a larger, stand alone location elsewhere.

Justin’s cell rang and he was surprised to see that it was Daphne calling. They’d only spoken twice in the past month now that she’d been hired on at a private clinic and spent most of her time with Dr. Steven. “Hey!”

“Hey back, stranger,” Daphne replied happily. “Are you busy?”

“I’m just getting ready to leave to go home. Why?”

“I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t interrupting a big important dinner meeting or something.”

“Nope,” Justin said, closing down his computer. “So what’s up?”

“Not much other than work and…”

“Steven,” Justin filled in.

“Yeah,” Daphne said in dreamy voice, “he’s great.”

“So I take it you have off work and he doesn’t?” Justin asked.

“How did you know?”

“Well, that’s the only time you’re ever available to talk anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” Daphne said, “but we have to make up for lost time.”

“I bet you do,” Justin chuckled. “You should’ve just gone out with him in the beginning.”

“I know, I know. But, things are good between us. So good that he’s going to meet my parents when they come up here for Thanksgiving.”

“Have you told them that he’s white, yet?”

“He’s a pediatrician. If they want to focus on his skin color and not on how he treats me and the rest of the world then it’s their problem.”

“So, you’re not going to tell them? Does Steven know this?”

“Of course he does.”

“So that’s big plans to make when Thanksgiving isn’t for a few months. Any other big plans I don’t know about?”

“It’s too early for any other plans, except that I plan on you meeting him. I wish you could come here or I could come there. But I’m saving up my days off for when my parents visit.”

“Exhibition might be expanding soon, we’re so busy. We’ve almost got more clients than we can handle. I don’t think I could take a couple days off if I wanted to.” The office phone began ringing. “I gotta run, Daphne. I think Brian’s calling.”

“I’ll call you soon, love ya.”

“Love ya too. Bye.” Justin pocketed his cell and picked up the phone on the desk. “Hello?”

“Mr. Taylor, it’s Karen.”

“You haven’t left yet?” Justin asked, checking the time.

“I’m just about to. A Mr. Eric Rockford is holding for you. Would you like to take the call?”

“Yes, thank you, Karen.” Justin wondered why Eric was calling, it seemed like he’d been avoiding him for the last week.

“You’re welcome, Mr. Taylor. I’ll connect you.”

He waited for the phone to ring once again before picking it up. “Hello?”

“Hey!” Eric greeted.

“Hey. You’ve finally called.” Justin hoped he didn’t sound jealous.

“Sorry, I’ve been so busy. What are you doing tonight?”

Brian was supposed to meet Justin to go to Babylon that night but he supposed he could cancel. “Nothing definite, why?”

“I thought we could hang out,” Eric suggested. “I haven’t seen you since we went to Babylon. You were right about me needing to go, I’m glad I went. I hadn’t got to see you dance in a long time. I had a lot of fun with you and your friends.”

“I’m glad you did. Maybe next time you feel up to it we can do it again?” he suggested, knowing it would be a long, long time before that happened.

“Yeah, definitely. I’d like to bring Sacha there one night. Do you know he’s never been to any of the gay bars here in Pittsburgh?”

Why would Justin know that? It’s not like he hung on every word the guy said, not like Eric apparently did. “I’m sure he went to better ones in New York and D.C.”

“You’re probably right. But I think he’d really like Babylon.”

Justin changed the subject deliberately, but for reasons he refused to analyze. “So, how was the first week back at school?”

“It was great. We have a new curriculum this year so it’s going to take some time to adjust to it, but this crop of freshmen actually seem like they have a passion for reading and writing.”

“That’s great. It’ll make things much easier for you.”

“Yes, it will. So are you almost done at Exhibition?”

“Yeah, I should be home in about a half an hour.”

“Then say we’ll hang out, watch some movies or something in about an hour?” Eric suggested.

“At my place?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, that’ll work. I’ll see you then, Justin.”

“Bye.” Justin felt a thrill of excitement at the prospect of seeing Eric. It had been a long time since just a simple phone call left him hard and dripping, and they hadn’t even been talking about sex. Well, besides the suggestion about watching some porn movies. Justin was horny, which meant Eric was going to be in for one hot night.
 

*****

“We are experiencing tower disruption and can not reach your party. We thank you for your patience; please try your call again in a few minutes.”

“I’ve been trying the call every three fucking minutes for the last hour!” Justin shouted into the receiver. He shoved his cell phone back into his pocket and paced the long hallway. “Of course the one fucking time I need to talk to you, you can’t fucking receive calls! Now, instead of watching porn and getting my cock sucked I’m going to be worrying about you walking in at any moment!”

Justin stopped his ranting as he heard a knock on his door, it was obviously Eric since Brian would’ve just used his key and come right in. “Coming,” he yelled walking down the hall to the kitchen and opening the door. “Hey, Eric…” Justin didn’t need to worry; he wouldn’t be coming anytime in the near future and Brian wouldn’t be walking in on anything he didn’t want him to see. “Sacha… come in.”

Apparently, the ‘we hang out’ also applied to Sacha. Now, Justin hoped like hell that Brian would be stopping by. The last evening he spent with them had been the most boring night of his life.
 

*****

Justin had tried to call Brian for the hundredth time while taking a bathroom break, but was given the same recorded message. This time, he was trying to call Brian to make sure that he’d be stopping by. To save him from the most agonizing conversation and annoying repertoire he’d ever heard in his life.

After Eric checked on ‘his’ plants, watered them and asked Justin for details about their growth, which Justin pretended to notice. He’d ruled out watching the movie Eric had rented because Justin had just watched it with Brian the week before. While Justin ordered in Italian, veggie crap for Eric and Sacha, meat lovers lasagna for himself, Eric and Sacha found the ‘Green’ channel on his satellite.

Justin handled the first program about building a ‘Green’ home for some family who’d lost theirs in Katrina. But the next program was a biography about the guy who invented windmills. Eric and Sacha were in hero heaven and during every commercial they gabbed about how great the guy was and how far they’d come with wind-force technology. They hadn’t even tried to get Justin in on the conversation and Justin had been glad they hadn’t.

Justin had drunk one beer and had gone in the kitchen to make himself a stronger drink when he heard the key rattling in the front door. As soon as Brian opened the door, Justin pulled him over toward the sink and put his hand over his mouth. “You have to save me,” he whispered and took his hand off Brian’s mouth.

Brian looked down at the pair of black sweat pants and the t-shirt Justin had on that sported the planet earth, obviously a gift from Eric. “I don’t even think I could save you from this,” he said raking his eyes up and down Justin’s body. “Why the fuck aren’t you dressed for Woody’s and Babylon?”

“Eric brought Sacha over, to hang out. I was going to call and cancel with you but your phone is fucked up.”

“Yeah, they’re working on that,” Brian grunted. “So what, you’re ditching me?”

“No,” Justin promised. “Eric goes to sleep early so he and Sacha will probably leave in a couple hours but for now I’ve got to be nice and entertain them.”

“Then I guess I’ll meet you there?” Brian tried, knowing what Justin wanted.

“No. You’re going to come in here and save me from the green network and from the most boring conversation in the fucking world. Then we’re going to go out and you’re going to get me so drunk I won’t even know who invented the fucking windmill,” he whispered.

Brian shook his head. “You were going to ditch me but now you need to be rescued?”

“Please?” Justin whimpered. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“By coming to Deb’s on Sunday for dinner,” Brian supplied the offer. He’d been told to extend it a handful of times and hadn’t. Brian had eaten dinner at the diner and Debbie ‘forgot’ to put his order in at the same time as his friends because he ‘forgot’ to ask Justin over for dinner again last week. “She’s been bitching at me for weeks about you coming. Apparently, once you become friends with not only me, but the rest of the boys, you’re family. That means she wants to include you in our weekly Sunday dinners.”

Justin grimaced. “Fine. I’ll go to one. But you know I usually spend all day Sunday painting.”

“I know,” Brian replied, opening the fridge. “I’ll try and get her to switch it to Saturday next time.”

“Deal,” Justin agreed. “Grab me a beer too,” he asked as Brian pulled a bottle out.

“What about your guests?” Brian asked.

“They won’t drink,” Justin huffed.

“Of course they will,” Brian said, handing Justin a bottle of wine. “Grab some glasses and find a deck of cards.”

“Uhm… why?”

“Cause the only way I know how to deal with do-gooder hippies is by forcing them to play drinking games.”
 

*****

Neither Brian nor Justin was drunk, but Sacha and Eric were three sheets to the wind. They were light-weights and not getting lucky during the game “Thumb master”, insured their constant consumption of wine. Justin and Brian had luck on their side with nearly every card they drew from the pile in the center of the table. It was Sacha’s turn to draw the last card and Justin and Brian eagerly drank the five drinks assigned to them.

The moment Justin placed his beer on the table, Eric attacked him. He fused his mouth to Justin’s, slung his leg over Justin’s waist and started to dry hump him.

Brian and Sacha shared a ‘what the fuck?’ look before their eyes went back to watch the couple. Both of them having the same split feelings pulsing in their bodies. Eric and Justin were sexy together; their lips smacking, tonguing and groaning made both Sacha and Brian horny. However, that wasn’t the only shared feelings between them, though they couldn’t and wouldn’t admit it that night, they shared a jealous passion.

“Eric,” Justin breathed out the name the moment his mouth was free. He looked beside him and saw Brian staring at them. His predatory expression chilled Justin. He playfully pushed Eric back onto the couch cushion beside his own and chastised him, “We have guests.”

“You trick together, what’s the difference?” Eric asked, picking up Justin’s hand and kissing it. “Come home with me.”

Brian stiffened in his chair but then relaxed when he realized how tense he was to hear how Justin would answer. He had no reason to care if Justin went to his partner’s house and fucked him all night. None.

“You’re drunk,” Justin said in a soft voice. “You need to sleep and I…” Justin held back Eric’s kissing once more and looked at Brian. “Eric, I made a promise and I have to keep it.”

Eric rolled his eyes and spread his legs, displaying his erection to everyone. “You also promised that you’d take care of me.”

Brian knew that at that moment he should tell Justin that he wasn’t obligated to keep the promise. Any good, decent friend would encourage their best friend to go home and fuck their partner instead of going out and fucking anonymous ass. But Brian’s greedy heart controlled him, bolted his mouth shut and cut his breathing. He silently waited.

“Come on, Eric.” Sacha abruptly stood and held his hand out to Eric. “I’m staying at your house tonight. My apartment’s air is on the fritz, remember?”

Brian thought that even if Sacha had another motive for taking Eric home, he was still a better friend to Eric than he was to Justin.

Eric blinked a few times and smiled at Sacha. “Yes. You’re staying overnight. Justin doesn’t stay over.”

Justin ignored that comment from Eric and helped him stand up. “Brian, call a cab,” he ordered.

“I have a car,” Eric insisted. “Sacha can drive.”

Sacha took over holding Eric upright and kissed his cheek. “No, I can’t,” he spoke quietly. “We’ll get a cab.”

“And I’ll drop your car off for you and put your key in your mailbox,” Justin added.

“Okay, I love you,” Eric announced drunkenly.

Brian wasn’t the only one who wondered who it was that Eric was professing his love to.
 

*****

“I can’t believe he lives in a place like that,” Brian roared in laughter as he drove out of the gated apartment complex. “That’s even more hetero than living in suburbia.”

“Now will you stop making bullshit assumptions about why we won’t live together? That is the kind of place Eric expects to live for the rest of his life!”

“So you’re saying you couldn’t compromise?” Brian asked.

Justin flipped Brian off. “I’m saying that Eric won’t compromise. I’d be okay with living somewhere that was built ‘greenly’ but that place goes way too far. Eric has bigger plans, he actually wants to live in a house that has one of those purifiers that takes your piss and makes it into water.”

“That’s pretty fucking bad.” Brian really wanted to ask Justin what the fuck he was doing with someone so crazy with whom he had very little in common, but he restrained himself, as always.

“You don’t even want to know what it’s like to have to go outside the fucking gate to have a cigarette when it’s twenty below! Eric wants to live in a subdivision like that!”

Brian tried to imagine Justin living somewhere so completely uninspiring. He’d definitely have to say something then if it ever looked like he was stupid enough to do so. “All right, get out.”

Justin huffed. “Jesus, I’ll shut up. You don’t have to kick me out.”

Brian pointed down the alley across from where he’d parked on the side of the road. “Babylon’s right through there.”

“And why did you want to park all the fucking way over here? You have your own parking space!”

“Just get out of the car.” Brian hopped out of the Jeep and waited for Justin to meet him on his side. “I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I have to sneak up on the employees and make sure the bouncers are doing their jobs.”

Justin nervously adjusted his tight v-neck tank and eyed Brian. “Do you do that at Exhibition?”

Brian smirked. “I’d never tell you if I did.”
 

*****

Justin had wanted to get drunk, high or at the very least buzzed tonight. But Brian had only ‘allowed’ them one shot and one beer apiece before he urged Justin to grab the dirty blond Justin had been watching dance. Brian had whispered dirty, nasty things in Justin’s ear, while they watched the dancer, making it easy for Justin to give in and purposely catch the soon-to-be trick’s eye.

The moment the dirty blond walked toward Justin, Brian chose the second-best fuckable man in Babylon and went for the stairs. Justin followed closely behind and as always they took their spots with the unspoken intention of watching the other get off.

Now, Justin was glad that Brian had curved his plans for the night. The dirty blond sucking his cock had a great technique and was more interested in extending Justin’s pleasure than in getting to the fuck Justin had guaranteed him. For the first time since Justin began tricking with Brian by his side, he was more focused on the mouth around his dick than on Brian.

That was until he heard Brian ask, “What the fuck are you doing?”

Justin couldn’t ignore the low, steely tone of Brian’s voice. Immediately worried, he opened his eyes and tilted his head so he could see what had caused Brian’s upset. He saw that Brian’s overly muscular trick had one of his hands cupping Brian’s balls.

“Keep your hands away from my balls,” Brian ordered the trick, his voice hitching.

“Dude, I’m telling you, there’s something wrong with one of your balls,” the trick persisted, standing up and backing away from Brian. “I think you’ve got a tumor or something. Seriously, you need to get it checked out.”

Brian stood still, unable to move, his face now expressionless and Justin’s heart ached for him. He had to do something, something that wouldn’t hurt Brian’s carefully constructed image. He stepped backward, pulling his cock from the dirty-blond’s mouth without warning or apology and walked over to Brian while he zipped up.

Justin glared at the muscle-stud and asked, “What are you on? I had his balls in my mouth a half an hour ago and I can assure you that they are perfect.” Justin grasped Brian’s cock and balls and tucked them into his briefs. “I think you’ve had too many doses of your steroids today and it’s fried your brain. I’m sure everyone in this fucking place will tell you that Brian Kinney is perfect.”

The muscle-stud’s spray tanned face paled. “Dude, I’m sorry,” he tried. “I guess your boyfriend would know….”

“Yeah,” Brian said gruffly. “He would know. Maybe you’re the one that needs to get checked out. Your hand was so sloppy stroking my cock I think you might’ve pulled a nerve lifting weights.”

“Oh fuck, you might be right,” the trick said, opening and closing his fist.

“Of course I’m right,” Brian said smugly. “Now go find yourself a trick that doesn’t mind a sloppy juice pig.”

Justin was almost about to smile at Brian’s renewed arrogance when he saw the murderous look Brian gave him. “Brian, I…”

“I’m ready to leave,” Brian stated, grabbing tightly to Justin’s hand.
 

*****

Justin had never thought that there was anything behind Brian leaving his balls trapped behind his underwear when he got a blowjob. It was something Justin had done many times, he always found that constraining them helped him last longer. He didn’t always do it, but he didn’t think Brian always did that either.

All past blow jobs Justin could remember seeing Brian receive filtered in and out of his mind as Brian drove them back to the loft. Justin could not recall one instance in the VIP lounge or in the backroom where Brian completely dropped his pants. Brian only shucked his pants to his knees or took them off when he was fucking. Then, he was in complete control and rarely did the tricks explore Brian’s body without him slapping their hands away, something Justin had pinned down to Brian being playful. Not even when they went to the baths together did Brian allow a trick to make contact with any place on his body that he didn’t carefully orchestrate. Justin had thought it was just Brian being his usual controlling self, it was probably partly that, but he now knew that there was definitely more to it.

“Do you want me to turn on the heat?” Brian asked, watching Justin shiver.

“No, that’d be insane. It’s August.”

“It may be August, but it’s fucking freezing rain. “ Brian clicked on the heater and gasped when it started to blow out cold air first.

“You just had to sneak up on your employees the night we’d get a freak thunderstorm,” Justin teased.

Brian stopped at the red light and looked over at Justin. Some of the raindrops clung to him while others dripped off the ends of his hair and down his face to be kissed by his pouty lips and absorbed into his soft skin. Seeing Justin wet made Brian’s need to touch him grow so prevalent that he almost gave in to Justin’s innocent seduction. He almost reached out and pulled Justin closer to him so that he could feel and taste all the places the rain was lucky enough to have unbound access to.

A car’s horn honking from behind the Jeep reminded Brian to move the car forward and his thoughts away from the person whom he denied was anything more than a friend.

The heat barely kicked on before they reached the loft and it provided false comfort and deceptive warmth because the rain that poured down on them as they ran for the building’s entrance shocked their systems. They could feel every drop hitting their skin and once they got inside, their shivering appeared worse than it had been when they’d first sought refuge from the storm after running out of Babylon.
 

*****

What did it matter if they were naked together in the shower? Brian and Justin tried to pretend like it didn’t matter at all. Brian didn’t soap Justin’s back, even though he wanted nothing more than to heat Justin’s skin by running his hands along it. Justin didn’t wash Brian’s hair, even though he wanted nothing more than to massage away Brian’s tension with his fingers. They didn’t even talk because there was nothing either of them could say to the other that wouldn’t reveal the truth of their desires, what wasn’t already revealed by semi-erect penises and ‘I just can’t help but stare at you’ expressions.

After their shower, Justin shaved while Brian put on a pair of gray boxer-briefs and grabbed his stash box. When Justin came out of the bathroom, still only wearing a towel, he had to think of disgusting thoughts about his mother’s sex life to stop his libido from rising any higher. Brian sat in the bed propped up against pillows while he lit a perfectly rolled joint. His simplistic actions had Justin’s insides aching.

“I think the cleaning lady accidentally put your gray sweats in my drawer again,” Brian commented.

Justin took this to mean that he was to dress and did so without taking his towel off, as if Brian hadn’t just seen him naked. “Can I have some of that?” he asked, crawling into the bed beside Brian.

Brian didn’t reply, but handed the joint to Justin.

Justin took a long, deep hit and held it in as he passed it back.

“Are you trying to pass out?” Brian asked, seeing Justin’s face turn red.

Justin let out the hit, blowing it up and coughing a little as he did. “Coughing makes you higher,” he insisted. This was a debate that Brian and Justin often had whilst smoking pot.

“When you find me scientific proof of that, then I’ll believe your hacking is for a good cause,” Brian teased as he took small puffs.

“God this is nice,” Justin sighed and wiggled around. “This was the longest day ever. I swear to you, the hour I spent with Sacha and Eric before you came over felt like a year. Have I thanked you for thinking of a game that they were guaranteed to get drunk while playing?”

“No, I don’t think you have.” Brian turned his head to smile at Justin as he handed him the joint. “They certainly put up a good fight about not drinking at first.”

“But you can sell anyone anything,” Justin complimented, blowing out his hit as he handed the joint back.

“Thankfully. Only next time I think we should play the game ‘I never’. I bet if we would’ve played that those near virgins would’ve been plastered a lot quicker.”

Justin put his hands over his face in embarrassment. “I can’t believe I got my partner and his friend drunk just so that they would leave.”

Brian turned on his side and removed Justin’s hands from his face. “It was your only course of action.”

Justin blinked a few times and pushed Brian onto his back, he couldn’t handle having Brian loom over him while they were in bed. It was counterproductive to his goal of not getting an erection just because Brian was lying beside him. Brian’s smug laughter didn’t annoy him as much as it should have, but only because Justin was thankful that Brian was laughing at all after what had happened at Babylon.

“So,” Brian said, putting out the end of the joint in the ashtray. “Do you wanna play I never?”

“Only if you have another joint to smoke,” Justin bargained, sitting up. “And I’ve got to get something to drink.”

“Get me a bottle of water too?” Brian requested, grabbing for his stash box.

Justin quickly grabbed a couple bottles of water and ran back into the bed. “Your floors are freezing,” he explained when Brian looked at him as though he were a clown.

“Well you almost knocked this over,” Brian bitched, pointing to the pile of ground pot.

“Sorry,” Justin said sincerely, reaching over Brian to place his water on his side of the bed. “Did you get a new dealer? This shit is really mellow.”

“New crop, same dealer,” Brian said. “But it’s creeper, so watch out.”

Justin giggled excitedly. “I can’t wait.”

Brian rolled his eyes while rolling a third joint. “We’re playing for tokes,” he explained. “If you did it you take a hit.”

“I do know how to play the game, Brian.” Justin drank half of his bottle of water as he waited for Brain to finish rolling and hand him one of the joints. “We’ve played it like a hundred times.”

“It’s my pot so I get to go first,” Brian said.

Justin shrugged in compliance; he was happy to have his own joint to smoke and really didn’t care about the game at all. “Whatever. Go ahead.”

“I’ve never fucked a woman.” Brian watched as Justin took a hit at the same time as he did.

“You’ve fucked a woman?” Justin gasped. “Who?”

“Lindsay and I fooled around in college a few times, but I only fucked her once.”

“Why?” Justin asked.

“That’s not part of the game. Your turn.”

“Aren’t you going to ask what woman I fucked?” Justin asked.

“It doesn’t take a genius to know it was Daphne. I bet you two girls made a lezzy pact when you were kids to be each other’s firsts.”

“Oh, fuck you. There wasn’t a pact. And that’s all I’m saying.”

“That’s more than I cared to know. Your turn.”

“I’ve never sucked cock in public.”

“Define public.”

“Uhm… more than one person in a room?”

They both toked on the sweet tasting weed.

“Does it feel dirty and embarrassing to you to get on your knees and suck cock?” Justin asked curiously. “Because it does to me. The one time I did it, I hated it. The guy was grabbing my hair and fucking my mouth and I started to gag. It was really embarrassing. If it were Eric or someone I trusted I might not hate it so much.”

“I don’t hate it, but I don’t like it. It depends on my mood and the trick.”

“Yeah, I guess. I’ve only sucked like a dozen dicks because I don’t like taking tricks back to my place. It’s a shame,” Justin said thoughtfully, “because I really like sucking dick and I’m good at it too.”

“How do you know you’re good at it if you haven’t sucked many cocks?” Brian wondered. “And I’m sure Eric wouldn’t ever tell you if you sucked at sucking.”

“That’s not why, now your turn.”

Brian was intrigued and a dirty, nasty, deliciously hot thought passed through his mind. He chuckled and said, “I’ve never sucked my own cock.”

Justin’s eyes widened and he slapped Brian’s arm. “You’re an asshole!” he yelled, but put the joint to his lips and inhaled.

Yeah. That pretty much put an end to any control Brian had on his dick NOT getting hard! “How did you do it?” he asked. He wasn’t mentally imagining Justin naked, in various difficult positions while sucking his own dick. He wasn’t. Oh fuck it! Anyone would!

“I’m not telling you. Eric doesn’t even know I can do that. Or could. I haven’t done it since I was a kid. I’m probably not even that flexible anymore.”

Brian sorta just stared at Justin, wishing that Justin wouldn’t have used the word ‘kid’ because now Brian was sure he actually WAS a pedophile. “Uhmm… like how old?”

“When I was a teenager, like 17… or something. Can we drop it and move on to my turn.”

“Yeah, we can.” Okay, Brian could totally deal with 17. That was at least legal.

“I’ve never broken a bone.” Justin watched as Brian took a hit. “You did? What one?”

“My collarbone. I went on the Liberty Ride a few years back, fell off my bike, had to take a plane back to the States instead of finishing off the ride,” Brian explained. “It hurt like a motherfucker.”

“I bet,” Justin agreed, wincing.

“Hmm… okay, I’ve never taken Mister Classes,” Brian laughed.

Justin glared while he took a hit but started laughing. “You’re mean. How about you ‘I never’ something you at least don’t know about me next time!”

“Fine, I will,” Brian promised, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

Justin thought for a minute and took his own advice and said, “I’ve never been rimmed.”

Brian raised his half-smoked joint to his lips slowly and stared at Justin, horrified when he took the smoke into his lungs and saw that Justin wasn’t going to take a hit. “You’re serious?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yeah.”

With that answer, Brian was almost sure of the answer to his coming ‘I never’. Justin Taylor had the most stellar ass Brian had ever seen and he couldn’t imagine someone fucking Justin and not tasting him first. “I’ve never bottomed.” He took a deep hit as Justin’s cheeks reddened and he turned his head away from him.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Justin warned in a shy voice.

“Why haven’t you ever bottomed?” Brian asked.

“I’m so not answering that,” Justin groaned, lying completely on his back, staring at the ceiling.

“Why not?”

“When’s the last time you bottomed?” Justin challenged.

“A few years ago,” Brian said. “I may be a top, but a good top has to know how good it feels to have a cock in your ass.”

“I know how good it feels,” Justin said, turning to face Brian.

“How could you know if you’ve never been fucked?”

“Hello, you practically caught me fucking myself with my dildo, Brian.”

“That’s not the same thing,” Brian returned. “At all.”

“Have you ever seen any of the guys I’ve fucked complain?” Justin asked.

“No, but…”

“Then I can be a good top without ever bottoming.”

“But you’ve been with Eric for what, eight years? He’s never once tried to fuck you?”

“I’m not discussing Eric’s and my sex life with you, Brian.”

“We constantly talk about our sex lives,” Brian said with exasperation. “I never would’ve thought in a million years that you hadn’t ever bottomed for a real dick, that’s all I’m saying.”

“Whatever.”

“You’re really not going to tell me why?” Brian asked. “Do you have some fantasy that the guy you finally fall in love with…”

“No!” Justin hissed. “I don’t have some fantasy about losing my virginity to the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with or some hetero shit like that. It has nothing to do with a fantasy at all.”

“Then what is it?” Brian wondered, his tone even gentler now that he saw how worked up Justin had gotten. “Did something bad happen to you?”

“No…no… god no,” Justin groaned. “Nothing that bad.”

“But something did happen?” Brian asked, getting more confused by the second.

“Yes, but… it’s not what you think and I don’t want to talk about it, okay?” Justin put the roach into the ashtray lying on Brian’s stomach.

“Why not?”

“For the same reasons why I’m sure that you don’t want to talk about what happened at Babylon tonight?”

“Do you have anal warts?” Brian asked.

“Fuck no!” Justin gasped. “It’s not that nasty!”

Brian’s eyes widened. “What? Do you have ass cancer or something?”

Justin burst out laughing. “God no!” he giggled. “I don’t have ass cancer and it’s called colon cancer.”

“Yeah, thanks for the P.S.A.” Brian placed his joint in the ashtray, placed it on the side of the bed and launched himself on top of Justin. He straddled his waist and held his arms above his head with one hand while he used his other to tickle Justin’s ribs. “Tell me,” Brian demanded.

Justin laughed and squirmed and tried to buck Brian off him but there was no use. He was so out of breath laughing so hard he was going mad from the tickling. “Okay, okay,” he agreed. “I’ll… tell you. But get off me…first.”

Satisfied, Brian rolled to the side and urged Justin, “So?”

Justin sat up and crawled a little further down the bed. He looked over his shoulder and took a deep breath before asking, “Do you promise you’ll never bring it up again?”

Brian felt like the air between him and Justin had become so heavy he could hardly get a good breath inside his lungs as he nodded his head in affirmation.

“When I was eleven my dad insisted that I go to camp that summer. These asshole kids from my bunkhouse were playing monkey in the middle and ended up throwing the ball into this fenced off area for the electric shack. I was designated to climb the fence and retrieve the ball. I didn’t see the barbed wire until I got to the top and was swinging my leg over the edge of the fence.” With shaking fingers, Justin lowered his sweat pants and fell forward on the bed, bracing himself with his left arm while his right twisted around to hold open his right ass cheek. “I got this,” he said quickly, afraid to look at Brian, thinking about how disgusting the scar probably looked.

Brian’s breath caught and he didn’t let it out until Justin sat back up and began to pull his pants back up.

“Pretty disgusting looking, huh?” Justin falsely laughed as he turned to face Brian. “Eric… he’s had a glimpse of it, I think. But he’s usually more worried about getting his ass fucked and I doubt he wants to touch it anyway so…”

Brian bolted upright and held Justin’s shoulders. “You’re not serious, are you?”

Justin wouldn’t look Brian in the eyes. “About what?”

Brian caught Justin’s chin in his left hand and forced him to look him in the eyes. “Eric won’t fuck you because of that scar?”

“I… I don’t know. He’s never even tried to touch me there and I probably wouldn’t let him anyway. I haven’t ever wanted that from him. Don’t act like you just go asking your sexual partners to finger your ass.”

Brian’s right hand travelled smoothly from the small of Justin’s back and dipped under the waistband of the gray sweats. “I’m going to touch you there,” he warned. Brian stared unwaveringly into Justin’s dark blue eyes, he hovered his mouth inches from Justin’s which emitted trembling breaths against his lips.

Justin gulped and nodded before leaning forward and putting his face in the crook of Brian’s neck and shoulder. “You won’t tell anyone, will you?” he whispered, feeling Brian’s warm hand brush against the crack of his ass.

“I’d never,” Brian promised, tucking two fingers inside Justin’s firm ass cheeks. He felt the small indentation brush against the back of his pointer and middle finger and Justin jumped, but he didn’t jump away, he jumped toward Brian’s body and squeezed Brian tight to him. “I barely feel it,” Brian said honestly, his lips against Justin’s ear. “Whatever you think it looks like, you’re wrong. It barely looks like there’s anything there at all, Justin.”

“You’re lying.” Justin felt the pad of one of Brian’s fingers brush against his asshole while the other stroked the scar tissue. “Brian.” His voice shook as his spine exploded and fired goosebumps along his skin.

“You know that I wouldn’t lie to you. If I thought there was something disgusting marring your beautiful ass I’d take you to a plastic surgeon and pay to have it fixed. But I’m telling you, Justin, I barely saw a mark and the only thing I can feel right now is…”

Justin popped his head up and pushed himself away from Brian. His heart beat in his throat, choking his breath away until he got far enough away from Brian. This was only about another foot unless he wanted to fall backward onto the floor, but it provided enough space for him not to feel that at any second he would be begging Brian for something he knew he shouldn’t.

“Calm down.” Brian placed his hand on Justin’s shoulder and felt him shaking. “Why are you queening out on me? I know I didn’t hurt you so…”

“You think I’m being ridiculous,” Justin cut Brian off.

“A little,” Brian admitted, smiling to take the sting out of the words.

Justin swept his long bangs out of his eyes and gave Brian a challenging look. “So if I touched you,” he looked down at Brian’s crotch and back up at his face, “you wouldn’t mind?”

If Brian said, no, that meant Justin would touch him. He honestly didn’t know if he’d have a good or bad reaction to that and either way, he’d reveal more to Justin than he wanted. But how would Justin feel if he said that he did mind? He’d probably be pissed that he’d trusted Brian and Brian didn’t trust him. Since when did Brian start to give a shit how Justin felt? Brian didn’t know how or when that happened. He had cotton mouth and told himself it was a result of the pot, not because of how incredibly nervous he was about what he knew he had to do.

He placed his head on the pillows, spread his legs and closed his eyes. With one word he gave Justin permission, “Okay.”

Justin held his breath as he pulled the waistband of Brian’s underwear to his thighs, only exposing what was necessary. He’d seen Brian’s cock in the shower and many times before, but never before had his mouth watered at the sight of it. He had to remind himself that what he was doing wasn’t sexual, Brian’s cock was almost flaccid, and he wasn’t even supposed to be looking at his dick. Justin didn’t need to look to touch Brian’s balls.

He glanced up at Brian’s face and saw that he still had his eyes tightly shut. Brian did have a problem with letting him do this, but he was doing it anyway. Justin wondered if it was because he wanted to prove to Justin that he didn’t have issues with it, or if it was because he needed to be touched, because Justin had realized that he had needed it. He needed the reassurance and he trusted Brian and now it was his turn to reassure Brian, if that was what he was looking for.

Justin dipped his hand in between Brian’s thighs and slowly lifted his hand up, weighing Brian’s balls in the palm of his hand.

Brian bit his lip, trying to stop himself from gasping, from bucking his hips or shoving Justin away from him. This wasn’t him. He didn’t feel all the fucked up emotions Justin’s touch elicited. He didn’t. He was stronger than the fear that he controlled into complacency for so long.

Justin gently curled his fingers around the sac that held the implant. He heard Brian take a sharp breath and saw his chest rapidly moving, pulling in air quickly. “Am I hurting you?” he asked.

Brian forced his eyes to open and he was surprised to see that Justin wasn’t grossed out while holding the once-diseased sac. “Are you done?” he asked.

“In a minute,” Justin replied, realizing he wasn’t hurting Brian. Justin held Brian’s cock up so that he could properly look at his balls. “Am I holding the right one?” Justin asked to be sure.

“Like you can’t tell?” Brian asked, sitting up.

“I think it feels a little bit heavier than your other ball, but there isn’t a scar or anything.”

Brian snorted and shoved Justin’s hands away from him. “Just because I told you that I could hardly see your scar, doesn’t mean you have to try and make me feel better about mine.”

“I’m telling you the truth! And by the way, I’ve looked in the mirror and I’ve seen mine while shaving. Have you ever even seen yours?”

“I get waxed,” Brian said, pulling up his underwear. He flipped the light off above the bed, grabbed the half-smoked joint from the ashtray and lit it. “Now we’re even.”

Justin couldn’t believe Brian. “It wasn’t about getting even, asshole.”

Brian laid back and handed Justin the joint when he lay down beside him. “What was it about then?”

Justin sucked the joint and put it out in the ashtray before answering. “Friendship.”

Brian bit back all of the sarcastic comments that wanted to explode out of his mouth.

“Good night, Brian,” Justin whispered, rising and swinging his legs around the side of the bed.

Brian reached out and grabbed Justin’s arm. “You can stay.”

Justin laughed and looked at Brian over his shoulder. “You don’t actually think I’m taking a cab home do you?”

Brian gently squeezed Justin’s arm, released him and patted the pillow beside his. “I meant that you can stay here.”

Justin gulped so loud in the silence he had to laugh at himself.

“Don’t worry,” Brian assured, “I’m not going to do anything to compromise your virginity.”

Justin wondered how he could still blush after all that he’d done in front of Brian. “All right,” he reasoned, “your bed is much more comfortable than your couch.”

“Sofa.”

“Whatever.”

They shimmied under the duvet, turned on their sides and faced one another. Brian closed his eyes first and if he felt Justin’s warm hand curl around his own, he could never be sure he wasn’t dreaming.
 

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