Emerald Enchantment

Chapter Five: “Deep Shit Trouble”

December 31, 2005

“Come on, Justin, just take a couple shots. Everyone has to be drunk on New Years Eve,” Robbie whispered, holding the bottle of tequila up to Justin’s nose.

Justin backed away from the putrid smelling alcohol and felt his stomach turn. “I don’t want it,” he said, feeling bile rise in his throat. He quickly ran through the crowded apartment and stumbled into the bathroom. The second the toilet seat was up he began to puke the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl.

“I thought you said you didn’t drink yet,” Robbie slurred, coming into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Justin turned and glared at Robbie. “I didn’t!”

“Then why the fuck are you hugging a toilet?” Robbie replied, laughing.

Justin reached up and flushed the toilet. He then washed his hands and rinsed his mouth out. Mustering as much courage as possible he mumbled, “I’m pregnant, Robbie.”

“Ha. Ha. It’s New Year’s Eve, not April Fools,” the drunken boy said, closing the toilet lid and sitting down on it.

Justin took the towel from the rack he was sure the party giver’s mother only had out for decoration and doused it with cool water. He tried to control his breathing and focus on what he was about to tell the father of his child as he patted his sweating face down with the cool cloth. One last deep breath and Justin turned around; he stared down at Robbie who was looking up at him with a lustful smile.

“You know, I know we aren’t together anymore… but what do you say we take advantage of the bathroom and…”

“I’m pregnant with your child, Robbie and I’m not joking,” Justin cut the boy off.

The smirk slowly left Robbie’s face and he stood up on wobbling legs “Shut the fuck up, Justin. I don’t need this shit.”

“You think I do?” Justin asked.

“You aren’t pregnant, Justin,” Robbie laughed at him.

Justin dug the button down shirt out of his pants and pulled it and his sweater up, exposing his rounded midsection. “I am pregnant, Robbie.”

Robbie backed up against the door and laughed again. “You gained a little weight, so what. With the way I’ve seen you eat lately...”

“What the fuck, Robbie? “ Justin righted his clothing. “You haven’t seen me at all lately! You told me to stay the fuck away from you and I have. I thought you needed space. This is the first time you’ve talked to me in months!”

Robbie scoffed. “That’s because you don’t ever want to go anywhere no more. You’re always studying or some shit!”

“That’s because I was grounded and it’s also because I’ve been sick… only I’m not sick. I’m fucking pregnant, Robbie. “ Justin couldn’t believe that he’d spoken it aloud so many times in such a short time. The secret he’d been keeping was out and it all seemed so real now, even if Robbie was having a hard time accepting the truth. He put his hand over his belly and sat down on the toilet. “I took tests and I went to the fucking doctor a couple of days ago,” Justin whispered. “I’m pregnant.”

Robbie slid down the door into a squat, he took a long gulp of the tequila and then reached his hand out to touch Justin’s knee. “Do you need money to help… take care of it? No one has to know.”

Justin pushed the boy’s hand away from him. “I’m not going to get an abortion, Robbie. I’m not. This is our baby!”

“How do I know that?” Robbie asked, standing up once again. “I don’t know who you’ve been sleeping around with lately. Besides, even if it was mine… what do you expect me to do? You think I’m going to marry you?”

Justin forced himself not to cry as he so suddenly felt like doing. “We were best friends once… I loved you and I still love you. I thought that…”

“I’m too young to get married, Justin. I’m too young to be a father and so are you so it’s not my fault that you’re going to act irresponsible and have the kid,” Robbie yelled. “If that’s what you want to do, fine. But leave me the fuck out of it!”

Justin stood up, his face inches from the other boy’s. “Fine! I will. I’m not going to force you to be responsible and act like a man.”

“Fine,” Robbie spoke, opening the bathroom door.

Justin barely noticed the partiers in the living room as he ran past them and out of the apartment door. He took the steps down to the street quickly and once there he breathed in the cool air as he hailed a cab. He wasn’t going to force Robbie to do anything. That wasn’t love. Justin wanted Robbie to love him and he was sure that Robbie would come around. Otherwise, he’d be in some deep shit trouble; that is, if he wasn’t already.

 

***
 

March 18, 2006

Betsy reached across the table and put her hand on top of Justin’s. “I’m so sorry that all happened that way darling. This boy Robbie doesn’t sound like he’s ever going to step up to the plate though.”

“I want my baby to have two parents,” Justin said. “I can’t help but want Robbie to…” Justin trailed off; he really wasn’t sure what he wanted form Robbie anymore.

“You want Robbie to love the baby and you?” Betsy asked.

“Yes, I do,” Justin, admitted, squeezing the woman’s hand.

Betsy took her hand away and lifted the teapot to pour them both more tea. Justin quickly picked it up for her, smiling brightly. “Let me?”

She was very glad that she’d invited Justin to have lunch with her. They’d spent the morning talking about her art and his. She showed him her gallery and regaled him with the tales of each painting’s’ inspiration.

Betsy had formed a friendship with the blond. By the time lunch was served, they’d discussed nearly everything under the sun. Now, as they had their afternoon tea, she’d asked Justin to tell her about the baby and the boy seemed relieved to have someone to talk to at last. She felt connected to the boy and she was so happy that Justin felt like he could share with her his past and trust her with things he’d said he’d not told anyone else.

She did find it quite odd though that Brian had not visited or checked on them once the entire day. He’d remained locked away in his office the entire morning and afternoon. She was sure that Brian had feelings for the young blond man, but… she also knew that Brian would probably never admit to them, especially when he still felt that Justin was still in love with Robbie. “Do you still love Robbie?”

Justin took a sip of his tea as he thought about the question. “We’ve been best friends for years and he’s the father of my child.”

Betsy nodded at his answer, but wasn’t satisfied. “But are you in love with him?” she asked softly, holding his eyes with her own.

“I…” Justin thought again, he was sure that he loved Robbie, but after rehashing the way Robbie had treated him, he was sure that was clouding his judgment. “I’m not sure… I don’t know if………. I love Robbie.”

“Hey,” Brian said, coming into the dining room, a fake smile on his face.

“Hi,” Justin smiled at Brian and felt himself blushing as the man walked in.

“So you finally show your face?” Betsy said with a smile.

Brian walked over and sat down beside Justin, ignoring his grandmother he asked the blond, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Brian,” Justin said. “Betsy has been so kind to entertain me and she showed me all of her beautiful paintings.”

“It was a pleasure,” Betsy told Justin.

“Well, I’m finished now, so if you’d like we can go back to my apartment, maybe watch some movies and have some dinner?” Brian asked.

“That sounds great,” Justin smiled.

“Before you go, Justin, I wanted to give you the number of a very good midwifery clinic. Since you’re going to be here in Dublin for some time I know you’ll need pre-natal care; a good friend of mine, Shanna, owns the clinic,” the woman spoke proudly.

“Oh, well thank you. I had just thought I’d go to a hospital and find a doctor there though,” Justin confessed. “I’ve never really thought about getting a midwife.”

“Well, it was only a suggestion,” she said softly.

“Oh, I’d love to meet with her, Betsy,” Justin told her. “I just haven’t really thought much about what I’m going to do. Up until today I was scared to even think about what I’d do once the baby came.”

“You have that worked out?” Brian asked Justin, surprised. He looked over at his grandmother and saw her smirking.

Justin nodded. “Betsy offered to pay me to help her a couple days a week. That way, I can repay you for rent, food and have a little left over to buy the baby things.”

“She did, did she?” Brian asked, realizing that he’d offered to hire help for the woman many times, though she always refused.

“Yes.” Justin smiled. “It feels so good to finally know that no matter what happens between Robbie and me, my baby and I will be all right.”

I’ll make sure of that, Brian thought. “You know you don’t need to pay me, Justin. I already told you that I have more than enough money.”

“That’d be fine if we were married or if this was your baby, Brian. But we’re friends and friends don’t just take money from their friends when they can have money themselves. I may even be able save enough to start the process and apply for citizenship,” Justin replied.

“I… I thought you said you were going to take the baby home after it was born because you thought that if Robbie sees your baby then… he may feel differently?” Brian asked in a clipped tone, he couldn’t keep the hurt that Justin’s innocent statement had caused him out of his voice.

“Betsy convinced me to stay, at least for a little while after the baby is born. She told me that it can be really hard travelling with a newborn and she’s probably right,” Justin told him. “You don’t mind do you? If I stay a while?”

Brian sighed. “No, Justin. I’m glad you’re here.” I want you to stay forever, he thought sadly, knowing that it probably wouldn’t be the case.

“Brian could you go and get me a pen and paper out of the office so I can write down that number and address for Justin?” Betsy asked, realizing that her grandson needed a minute alone to absorb the new revelations.

“Sure, Móraí,” Brian said, standing up from the table and leaving the room.

“Is Brian mad at me?” Justin whispered worriedly.

“Of course not,” Betsy whispered back. “He’s probably just a little stressed over some building renovations or something.”

“Are you sure? He seemed angry with me,” Justin observed.

“I’m sure, Justin,” she said. Brian has no one to be angry at but himself for not confessing his true feelings toward you, she thought.

“Here you are,” Brian said, coming back into the room, feeling a little calmer, but still very frustrated.

“Thank you, mo’ mac.” Betsy smiled gently at her grandson as she took the pen and paper. She quickly wrote down the information and handed it to Justin. “Make sure when you call you tell her that you’re my Brian’s friend okay? It’s actually just a short walk from Brian’s apartment so you should be able to find it easily.”

“That’s great,” Justin said. “I really appreciate this, thank you.”

“Are you ready to go, Justin?” Brian asked, helping Justin stand up when the boy nodded his head.

Justin blushed as Brian helped him stand, it wasn’t quite necessary yet, but he loved the way Brian treated him, it made him feel wanted. “Goodbye, Betsy, thank you so much for today, for the number and for the job.”

“I’ll see you Tuesday,” Betsy replied, standing up on shaky legs she gave Justin a warm hug.

“Goodbye, Móraí,” Brian said, hugging his grandmother.

 

***
 

Monday, March 20, 2006

“Thank you so much, Shanna, it was wonderful meeting you,” Justin said, standing up from the office chair.

“I’ll see you in two weeks, Justin. Maybe then we can even see the sex of the baby if it’s turned right?”

“I can’t wait,” Justin spoke excitedly.

Brian shook Shanna’s hand and then took Justin’s leading him out of the clinic. Justin loved walking down the old streets, especially with Brian by his side.

“Have you given any thought to what Shanna said about the home birth?” Brian asked.

Justin laughed. “What? You actually want me to do that in your apartment?”

“It’s your home now too,” Brian, spoke. “I want you to be comfortable; if it were me I’d want to do it at home instead of at the birthing center. Everything seemed so stale; I mean it’s okay for check-ups but I wouldn’t want to have a baby in that kind of environment unless it was absolutely necessary.”

“I’ve never even known anyone that’s ever had a baby at home, Brian,” Justin replied. “I mean, I sort of feel the same way, but I still don’t know if I’m going to want to do it without pain medication.”

“I guess it’s a lot to think about, but whatever you decide you know I’ll support you, Justin. I’ll be here for you, however you want me to be,” Brian told him softly as they rounded the corner to their block.

Justin looked up at Brian and his breath caught in his throat; the older man looked so beautiful, dressed in his black pea coat and cap. The whips of auburn hair that stuck out from under the hat shone in the afternoon sunshine. Justin dropped Brian’s hand and then wrapped his arm around Brian’s waist and leaned into him. “You’re so good to me, Brian.” He nuzzled his head against Brian’s shoulder. “Are you sure you still want to go to those parenting and Lamaze classes with me tonight? Shanna said that I don’t necessarily have to have a partner.”

Brian luxuriated in the feel of Justin’s body so close to his. “I want to be there, Justin. You’ve got to stop second guessing me; I already told you that I’ll be here for you and the baby unless you don’t want me to be.”

“I do,” Justin said, smiling up at Brian.

Brian’s heart jumped a beat at Justin’s use of words. “We have a little time before we have to leave for the classes, do you want to go and sit in the park?”

“Oh yes, that’d be great. I only wish I’d brought my sketch pad,” Justin replied. “I’d love to sketch all the kid’s playing in the sunshine,” he spoke, stopping in his tracks as he gazed at the gated in park area beside their building.

“Well it’s a good thing we live next door then,” Brian laughed. “How about I run up and grab your messenger bag, you go and find a bench, okay?”

“Thanks, Brian.” Justin threw himself into Brian’s arms and gave him a small peck on his cheek.

Brian held Justin’s body close to him. Time seemed to stop for just a few minutes as they both stared into each other’s eyes, but then the moment passed and Justin was pulling away from him and smiling brightly as he walked into the park. Brian wondered if he would be able to keep himself under control. He knew that if he made the wrong move, then Justin would know that what he wanted from him wasn’t only friendship, then he was sure the boy would pack his bags and leave him.

 

***
 

“Just sit between his legs,” Shanna instructed Justin.

Brian leaned against the wall, sitting on a mat, legs drawn up and spread to cradle Justin’s body. Feeling more than a little apprehensive about having Justin’s ass practically sitting in his lap, he had to consciously control his own breathing. He looked around and realized they were the only couples in the class that were not actually a couple. Everyone else seemed so comfortable having their partners in their arms, but Brian could not have felt more uncomfortable.

Justin crawled forward and then turned around so that he was in between Brian’s legs. His hear beat erratically and he was sure his face was blushing as he finally sat back, his butt sitting tight against Brian’s warm crotch.

“Okay,” Shanna said. “Perfect. Now Da’ put your arms around Daddy’s belly.”

At this point, Brian wasn’t even going to correct the woman. Justin hadn’t and he didn’t want to embarrass the boy by doing so, not that he necessarily thought that Justin should be embarrassed of the situation. But he knew that Justin felt ashamed even though he’d done the right thing when he’d had sex with Robbie and used protection. It had been an accident, or as Brian liked to look at it; a challenge from Fate.

Justin let his head fall against Brian’s strong shoulder. He was so happy Brian was there with him, but he could also feel that Brian was extremely tense and wondered if the Irishman had regrets about coming with him to the class.

“Oh, you guys are perfect,” Shanna spoke and then turned to address the entire room. “Now, we’re going to watch the instructional video on the screen okay? You’ll be prompted to do the same actions and then when it’s all over we’ll go through it all one on one.”

“Do you feel the baby moving?” Justin asked in a whisper. He laced his fingers with Brian’s on top of his belly.

“Yeah,” Brian replied, speaking softly into his ear. “Mo páiste,” he said quietly.

Justin was about to ask Brian what he’d said when the video began to play.

 

***
 

When the class was over, Brian had no idea how he even concentrated on any of it, though Shanna had assured him and Justin that they’d done a wonderful job. He was sure he’d spent the entire time either focusing on fighting his unwavering erection or on the smell of Justin’s hair.

They walked home that night across the long bridge. Justin talked a mile-a-minute about everything they learned and his smile was constantly bright and his hair shone, illuminated from the lanterns on the bridge. Brian knew that he was in deep shit trouble.

He’d only been living with Justin for three days and already he was finding it hard not to tell the young man his true feelings and harder to not act on them. Brian was acutely aware that there would come a day when he would not be able to fight the temptation of Justin Taylor.

XXXXX

Chapter Six: “Pósadh”

 

April 3, 2006 - Justin’s P.O.V.

“Brian, come on… we’re going to be late,” I say, knocking on the door to the other spare room. I’ve started to call it the ‘Mystery Room’ because he refuses to let me in there.

“Just a minute,” he calls back from behind the door. “I didn’t realize the time.”

Really, we aren’t going to be late we still have an hour before my appointment, but he was in there before I even woke up. I don’t knows how long it’s going to take him to clean up so I want to be sure we enough time.

The other day he had primer all over his clothes and stain on his hands and it took him almost an hour to shower it all off. He made us late getting out to Betsy’s house. She of course didn’t mind and considering the fact that Brian is his own boss, we didn’t get in trouble; but I don’t want to be late and possibly not get a chance to have the ultrasound done and have to reschedule.

“Get away from the door,” he advises. “I’m coming out.”

I roll my eyes at his secrecy and walk back down the hall into the living room. “It’s safe to come out!” I can’t help but laugh after I say this.

“It better be,” he yells back. I hear him moving stuff around in the room and then he jiggles the door handle.

I stand at the end of the hall, my hands on my hips, watching as Brian slowly cracks the door open. His head peaks out and he looks down the opposite end of the hall and then toward me. He smiles at me and steps out, quickly shutting the door behind him and locking it with his key. “I’m just going to wash up and change my clothes,” he tells me, retreating into his bedroom.

“Okay,” I answer and walk into the kitchen and open the refrigerator door. Scanning the shelves, I wait to see if something appeals to my ever-hungry stomach. I just finished eating Ireland’s equivalent of fruit loops but I need something else, rather, the baby does.

“What do you feel like eating?” I ask the baby. My mouth waters and my stomach grumbles in answer as my eyes fall on the cinnamon buns Betsy gave me yesterday. “Cinnamon bun yum it is.” I rub my belly with one hand while I take the baking tin out with the other. I give a kick to the fridge door to close it and set the food on the island. Once the lid off the pan is off, the smell of sweetness hits my nostrils. Wait. I can’t eat this without a nice glass of milk too. I quickly grab the milk out and pour a large glass, get a fork and sit down in front of the breakfast cake. “Mmm…” I say aloud, and dig my fork into the gooey goodness.

Oh. Yeeeeahhhhhh. My taste buds go crazy, causing my brain to go into a hyperactive wonderland. Before I know it, I’ve finished my milk and all but one of the four large buns are left in the pan.

“Did ya save me any?” Brian asks, walking into the kitchen.

He smells all fresh and clean from his shower, like Irish Spring body wash. I have to stop myself from laughing every time I smell it because it’s just too funny. Of all the body washes to use he chooses Irish Spring! I smell more than that now though. I think he’s put on some cologne too because there’s a cool-sweet smell surrounding him and it’s not the sticky buns.

“I can’t believe you ate them all,” he pouts.

I can’t help the blush rising in my cheeks. I really would probably eat that last one, but I know they’re his favorite. So, being the good guest that I am, I offer him my fork and slide the pan toward him.

“Thanks, mo grá.” He smiles and takes a big bite of the last bun. Some of the icing slips out onto his lip and I watch as his tongue pokes out, swiping it back into his mouth.

“What is, ‘Moe Grer’, Brian?” I ask referring to the Irish word I’ve heard him say many times now.

Brian rolls his eyes at me. “Why do you keep asking me? I’m not going to tell you”

I’m not sure why I persist in asking him. He rarely tells me what any of the words mean. It’s another one of his secrets I suppose I’m going to have to unravel. I need to find one of those Irish dictionaries. Of all the Irish books I have read you’d think I would have found one of those by now.

“Here, have the rest,” Brian says, sliding the pan back in front of me.

“There is still half left,” I protest.

Brian laughs and picks a big piece up with his fork. I think he’s going to eat it, but instead he waves it in front of my mouth. “Come on, Justin,” he taunts me, “the baby is hungry. I can hear your stomach still growling.”

He’s really too kind. I roll my eyes and open my mouth wide… shit the piece is huge. He holds my gaze as he feeds it to me. I close my mouth and chew the sweet confection very slowly, our eyes still locked. I don’t know why or what’s happening, but something does in that moment.

My entire body starts to heat up and I can’t look away from him. My heart is doing that hammering thing again and the way his hazel eyes start to change to a deeper richer color are making my insides quiver. I force myself to look away from him and back down at the pan in front of me.

I close my eyes for a minute and let out a deep breath. I have to remind myself that Brian is only my friend. I’m having Robbie’s baby and no matter how great Brian Kinney may be, he would never want me now. Sure he wanted me when I was an innocent virgin, a one-night-stand, but definitely not now that I’m a knocked up teenage runaway with barely any future.

“Justin,” his voice cracks as he speaks my name.

I try not to revel in the tingling him speaking my name causes within me and remind myself of my place in his life. “Yeah?”

“You…” he sighs and then shakes his head and his whole demeanor changes. He smiles. “You ready to go see your baby?”

Just the thought makes my mood shift out of the anguish I was in. “Definitely.”

“Go get your sweater, I’ll clean this up,” he tells me, smirking. I know he’s going to finish the piece while I’m in the other room.

 

***
 

Brian’s P.O.V.

I opted to stay in the waiting area for Justin to have his examination because I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. I’ve been waiting for about a half hour out here, reading all the magazines about parenting and glancing through the books on childbirth; which has actually held my interest.

“Brian Kinney?” A nurse calls my name, standing in the open doorway.

She looks upset and it takes me a second before I can speak, “That’s me.”

“Could you please come on back. Justin’s asking for you,” she tells me, biting her lower lip.

I feel a chill race down my spine and try not to panic as I nod and quickly follow her through the door and down the hall. She knocks on the door to where I guess Justin is and walks away as Doctor Shanna opens the door and gestures me inside.

“What’s going on?” I ask when I see Justin, sitting up on the table, sobbing into his hands. A nurse is rubbing his shoulders and whispering to him, trying to calm him down, but he doesn’t seem to be hearing her or taking any comfort from her.

Shanna gives me an apologetic look. “He’s upset, but I can’t exactly figure out why,” she reveals, patting my shoulder. “I think he may just be really over whelmed, perhaps you can talk to him and help?”

“I’ll do my best,” I tell her.

“Come on, Greta,” Shanna prompts the nurse. “Let’s give them some time alone.”

Nurse Greta follows Shanna out of the room and closes the door. I stand still, not sure how to proceed. “Are you hurt?” I ask cautiously. “Is there something wrong with the baby?” I breathe out the second question in a fearful gasp.

He shakes his head back and forth and wipes his eyes with the cloth the nurse had handed him before she left. “No,” he speaks so quietly I barely hear him. “Everything went great with me and the baby so far.”

I approach him slowly. “What is it?”

“I… it’s just… I didn’t know doctors and nurses could be so….” he whispers.

“So ‘what’, Justin?” I ask, completely confused. “We met Shanna before and I thought you really liked her. Did something bad happen in here?”

“No, no. It was nice. They were nice.”

“Nice?” I ask, feeling even more confused. If it was nice, why is he crying? Why is does he look so upset?

“Both of the doctors I saw in America were so cold. The doctor in New Jersey was so quick about everything,” he explains. “He made me feel like he hated me for what I’d done, just like everyone else. I didn’t think he really cared about my baby and I thought he was only humoring me when I asked questions and asked for the ultra-sound pictures.”

“God, Justin,” I speak, barely able to find words. I wrap my arms around him, card my fingers through his hair and feel him relax a little. “I’m sorry that’s how it was for you. You told me how your family was but I thought that all baby doctors and nurses were supposed to be as caring as Shanna seemed to be.”

“They aren’t,” he says sadly. “The nurses and doctor looked at me like I was just some stupid kid that got knocked up. They didn’t really care about my baby and the oral exam was so painful,” he speaks, his voice shaking. “I just… I thought that was just how all doctors were during exams; cold and distant. I thought that was how it was going to be here and then Shanna and Nurse Greta were so nice to me. It startled me, you know?”

“Yeah,” I replied, though I couldn’t ever really know what he’d been through. I close my eyes and silently thank my grandmother for sending us here and curse the ignorant doctors who treated him before.

He moves out of my arms and looks up at me with a tortured expression. “Shanna doesn’t know that I’m just a kid that’s boyfriend knocked him up. If she did….”

“That isn’t who you are,” I interrupt him. “None of that should matter to a doctor, Justin. They’re supposed to be caring and care for you and your baby. I’m sure if Shanna and Greta knew the truth, they wouldn’t treat you any differently.” I put my hand on his stomach. “You are carrying a little life inside of you, Justin. Life. You’re an amazing creature because of that and you deserve to be treated like a Prince from everyone.”

He gives me a watery smile. “She thinks… she thinks that you’re the Da’. She called you that last time and when I started to cry, she asked me if I wanted her to go get Da’. I didn’t tell her you weren’t, Brian. I was afraid that’d she’d be mean to me if I told her the truth.”

“Oh,” was all I could really say for a minute. I don’t like to lie to people. Especially friends of my grandmother’s, but if I’m honest with myself… I wish like crazy that I was the Da’. The first moments that I saw him and thought I was the father of his baby, it made me feel more excited and thrilled than I’d ever felt about anything. When I realized that I wasn’t the father, it was definitely an emotional blow. “That’s all right,” I tell him. “It doesn’t have to matter and if it makes you feel better, you can tell her that, Justin.”

“You promise it doesn’t bother you?” His face scrunches up in a funny expression that always makes me smile and I can’t resist kissing his forehead.

“It doesn’t bother me,” I assure him. I place my hand on his stomach again and whisper, “Tá mé chomh doirte sin duit.”

“What?” he asks, hoping I’ll reveal my secrets.

Before I have to once again tell him that I’m not going to reveal what I’m speaking Shanna knocks on the door to the room to see if we were ready to continue and have the ultra-sound.

“Are you ready?” I ask him quietly.

He gives me a tight hug and says, “I am now.”

 

***
 

Justin reaches his arm out toward me, wiggling his fingers. “Come here, Brian.”

I step closer to his bedside and take his cold hand in mine and rub it, trying to warm him up. “Are you excited?”

He looks up at me; his blue eyes become large as he nods his head. “Yes, a little nervous, but excited too.”

“Okay,” Shanna says, turning on the monitor and rolling her chair closer to Justin. “Let me put some of this gel on you and we’ll be all set.”

I’m so glad too see Justin smiling his mega-watt smile again. I want this to be a wonderful experience for him because I don’t think he’ll ever forgive himself if he lets the circumstances of the baby’s conception taint his pregnancy any more. His family tried to do that but I won’t let him believe that they were right for doing it.

“Look, Brian.” Justin squeezes my hand. “The baby is sucking its thumb!”

I focus on the screen and can see the little image of the baby’s profile. “Holy Shit!”

“I’ll take a photo of that one for you guys to take home,” Shanna tells us happily.

I look at her and watch her move the device around on Justin’s stomach. We see the baby suddenly move on the screen and Justin’s hand flies onto his jelly covered abdomen.

“Oh man,” Justin gasps, wide eyed. “I’ve not felt it like that before.”

Shanna smiles at him. “Well you’re bound to feel more movement now in that you’re in the second trimester.”

We all look at the screen and see the baby moving around and around, as though it’s swimming.

“I bet all that sugar from those Cinnamon buns just reached the baby,” Justin laughs and lifts his hand up from the sticky jell.

I grab the rag and wipe his hand off for him.

“Do you think you can tell the sex now?” Justin asks.

“I think so,” Shanna answers.

I see her move the device down to the lower part of his abdomen, just above the waistband of his underwear. I realize that this is probably the most I’ve seen of Justin’s body since our night together. He rarely walks around without his shirt and I definitely haven’t seen him in his underwear. His belly is so perfectly round and he looks to be in perfect shape.

“There we go,” Shanna exclaims happily.

“Oh, Brian,” Justin giggles.

My attention goes back to the screen and it’s completely obvious.

“It’s a girl!” Justin says excitedly. “I’m having a little girl, Brian. I can’t believe it!”

“You are,” I say in amazement. I smile back at him then look at the screen. “M'iníonacha,” I whisper before I place my hand just over where the gown is raised on his stomach, lift it a little higher and lean down and kiss the bare skin that’s not covered in the gel. “M'iníonacha,” I repeat.

***

 

Justin’s P.O.V.

“So what are you going to name her?” Betsy asks me, pouring me another glass of the herbal tea.

“We discussed some names on the drive over,” Brian answers for us. I look at him, he’s so happy. He seems to be as happy as I am. It’s so wonderful having him to share this with me.

“And what are those names, mo grá?” Betsy asks Brian, using the same Irish word Brian uses with me. It must be a term of endearment.

“You tell her, Justin,” Brian prompts me. His hand squeezes my thigh under the table for a moment.

I smile and take a sip of my tea before answering, “Well, for the first name I was thinking of Emerald.”

Betsy smiles. “Emerald is beautiful name, very fitting.”

I nod. “I’m going to call her Emma for short.”

“Tell her the middle name,” Brian prompts me. His grin is so bright; you’d think it was him I am naming my daughter after.

I give Betsy a warm smile. “Her middle name will be Elizabeth.”

Betsy gasps and I see tears fill her eyes immediately. “Oh, mo páiste!”

Brian laughs and gets up from the table. He crouches in front of Betsy and puts his arms around her. “Tá mé chomh doirte sin duit, Móraí.”

“Tá mé chomh doirte sin duit mo’ mac an mo’ gariníon,” Betsy whispers to him.

“Móraí,” Brian laughs and stands up, shaking his head.

I feel completely left out right now. I really need to learn Irish. If Brian won’t tell me what he’s saying maybe I can get Betsy to tell me.

We all hear a loud knock coming form downstairs.

“Who is that Brian?” Betsy asks. “I thought you said you didn’t have any clients today.”

“I don’t,” Brian tells her and walks over to the window. “Shit!”

“Don’t use that language with a child present,” Betsy chastises him.

“Hey, I’m not a child,” I huff out.

Betsy laughs at me. “I was referring to Emma. You’re far enough along now that she can hear others now, can’t she?”

“That’s what Shanna says.”

“I’ve got to go down and see what Brogan wants,” Brian says as we hear the loud knocking again.

“Who… who is Brogan?” I ask. From the look on Brian’s face, it has to be someone he doesn’t like.

“He’s a police officer,” Betsy tells me.

“I’ll go see what he wants,” Brian growls.

“Be nice,” Betsy says, stopping Brian with her hand on his arm.

“Tell that to him,” Brian says as he walks out of the room.

When he closes the door, I ask Betsy, “Did he and Brian… date?”

“Picked up on the tension did you?” Betsy laughs. “Don’t worry. It was a long time ago and for a very short time while they were school boys.”

“Oh. Okay.” I’m not sure why I feel so jealous. It must be my weird ass emotions or something.

Betsy gives me a funny smile. “What is it, mo páiste?”

That reminds me. “What does that mean, Betsy?”

 

***
 

Brian’s P.O.V.

“Is there a problem officer?” I ask. I know I probably have a disgusted smirk on my face but I can’t help it.

“I’m looking for Justin Taylor.”

What the fuck? “What do you want with him?” I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Brogan within ten feet of Justin before I find out why he needs to see him.

“He’s an illegal, Brian,” Brogan says, dragging one of his hands over the silver badge pinned to his green shirt.

I laugh. “An illegal? He’s only been visiting for two weeks?”

“It’s been over two weeks, Brian,” he replies, tapping his foot on the step to the entryway.

“What does that matter?” I ask.

“He filled out a temporary visitors pass in customs. That allows for two weeks of stay. I was informed he’s been here for longer and hasn’t gone to request any additional time since then.” He drags his hand over his badge again, making me want to rip it off him.

“So I’ll take him up to the Court to fill another out after we finish lunch,” I reply, and start to close the door.

He stops the door with his arm. “We’re going to have to deport him.”

I throw open the door wide and angrily ask, “Have you gone mad, Brogan?”

“It’s my job, Brian. Deportation is really cracking down on us and he’s officially here illegally.”

“How did you even find him?” I wonder.

“He listed this address as his place of stay with customs. So… I’m going to need to see him and take him with me.”

“The fuck you are,” I yell. There is no way in hell I’m letting anyone take Justin away from me.

“This matter doesn’t really concern you, Brian. Now, is he here or not? I need to speak with him. Keep in mind that if you lie to me I will get a warrant to seize him and deport him. As of right now, he’s in violation of Code 713 and he will not be allowed back into the country and there may also be fines to pay because of this.”

I feel like I’m about to punch Brogan so I take a step back inside the house and try to calm down as I think about what I’m going to do. “Just… let me go and announce you first. He’s having tea in the dining room with my Grandmother. Give us a minute before you come in, okay?”

Brogan rolls his dark brown eyes and steps into the foyer. “Make it quick,” he orders.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! How could this happen? This can’t be happening. Why didn’t I think to ask Justin about this? Why? Fuck!

I leave Brogan in the foyer and rush down the hall and up the few steps of stairs leading to the dining room. I open the door, interrupting Justin and my Grandmother’s conversation. “Just agree with everything I tell him,” I say quickly, in a hushed voice.

“What?” My grandmother shakes her head. “What’s going on Mo’ mac?”

“Are you in trouble, Brian?” Justin asks his face paler than normal.

I walk over to him and put my hand on top of his. “No, Justin I’m not. But you may be.” I quickly tell him what Brogan told me at the door. He starts to get teary eyed and I try to soothe him and tell him of my plan.

Before I can explain, Brogan makes a quick knock on the door and then steps in.

“What are you doing here interrupting our lunch and tea, Broggie?” My Grandmother asks in an annoyed tone.

I almost laugh aloud at the look on Officer Brogan’s face but I’m too terrified of what might happen to do so.

“I’m sorry, Mam,” Brogan apologizes to my Grandmother. “But this is official police business.” He directs his attention to Justin. “Are you Justin Taylor?”

Justin gulps and nods.

“I’m going to need to take you with me. You’re being deported.”

“But I can’t leave,” Justin gasps out.

I squeeze his hand and rub his shoulder. “Shhh… you’re not going anywhere.” I won’t allow it!

“I’m sorry, Brian, but he is. He is now an illegal.”

“But…but I was going to….”

I interrupt him with my plan, “He was going to marry me.”

“Brian!” Justin gasps his eyes huge as he stares at me open-mouthed.

Now my Grandmother stands up and levels Brogan with her gaze. “You go back to those officers and you tell them that Justin isn’t going anywhere.”

“I can’t do that. I have my orders…”

“Oh no, please,” Justin begs. He pushes his chair out from table and stands beside me. “You can’t do that!”

I put my arm around his waist and rest my hand on his stomach.

Brogan looks Justin up and down and gasps, “You’re…”

“Your mother would be ashamed of you if she were here, Broggie. Can’t you see you’re scaring him? He doesn’t need this stress. He’s having my Grandchild,” my grandmother says, surprising Justin and myself. “That child he’s carrying is a legal citizen of this country. Justin was going to file for citizenship but then Brian asked him to marry him. Isn’t that right, Justin?”

“But…” Justin fumbles with his words. “I….”

“You were going to marry him, Brian?” Brogan asks me in disbelief.

“Yes. We haven’t set an exact date but…”

“You need to be married by the end of next week,” Brogan cuts in. “I’m going to get my head bitten off for being lenient and I’ll explain the situation to the officials. But… that’s it. Can you be married by the end of next week?”

“Brian.” Justin turns and looks at me, his teary eyes telling me that I don’t have to do it.

But I will. I’m not letting him go. I know too, that once Justin is married to me, legally that child will be mine too. I won’t let him take the baby and go back to America. I won’t let him go and find that little shit. I won’t. He’s going to stay here with me. I’ll do everything in my power to make him stay. I want to marry him. I didn’t want it to be like this, but if this is what’s going to allow for him and the baby to stay here, with me, than I’ll sure as shit do it.

I turn to face Justin, lean down and kiss his full lips. I have to make it look real to Brogan. I feel Justin melts into my arms and he puts his hands on my waist and grips me as his mouth opens for my tongue. I give his tongue a small swipe with my own and pull back. I have to smile at the dazed look on his face for a moment before I lean in to whisper into his ear, “Ní fhágfaidh mé choíche thú agus beidh mé dílis duit i gcónaí , mo fhear céile.”

Justin sighs as though he understood me, though I know he didn’t, then he hugs me again. “Are you sure, Brian?” he whispers.

I pull back from him and take his hand. “We’ll be married by the end of the next week, Brogan.”

“See that you are. I still want you to come down to the station tomorrow and fill out another visitors pass for the time being. I’ll back date it and send it to the custom officials, tell them it got lost.”

“Thank you,” I say, smiling.

“I didn’t do it for you, Brian,” Brogan retorts and looks at my grandmother. “Betsy, I’m sorry to have interrupted your day.”

“You ought to be,” she grumbles. “I’ll walk you out.”

I watch as my grandmother leaves the room. I’m sure she’s going to give him a tongue-lashing he won’t soon forget on his way out. She was best friends with Brogan’s mother Amy while we were growing up and has always treated him much too kindly.

“Jesus Christ, Brian!” Justin whispers, dropping my hand and walking away from me.

“It’ll be okay,” I tell him.

Justin shakes his head at me and throws up his hands. “It isn’t enough that I fuck up my life but now I fuck up yours too? And I’ve got you and your grandmother lying to authorities, Brian!”

“Justin.” I try to walk toward him but he walks away from me and over to the bay window.

“I just want a safe place for me and my baby,” he whispers.

I walk behind him and put my arms around him. “I want that for you, Justin.”

He sighs and rests his head back against my shoulder. “This isn’t right, Brian. You shouldn’t have to marry someone you don’t love.”

I don’t say anything for a moment, but then decide upon my next words and speak them only to reassure him. “We can get an annulment later on, after you get your citizenship and it all looks on the up and up.”

Justin turns in my arms. “Why are you doing this? Why didn’t you just let me get deported back to America?”

“You’re my friend, Justin,” I say quietly. “I couldn’t let you go back to that place.” That kid, Robbie.

He puts his head back on my shoulder again and I just stand there and hold on to him. I’m not going to let him go.

 

***
 

New York - 3rd Person P.O.V.

“We’re really married,” Mica spoke, wrapping her arms around Robbie.

Robbie smiled and kissed his bride, kicking their hotel room door closed with his foot. “I can’t believe it!”

Mica giggled and stepped out of her husband’s arms. “We’re going to be the only people married at our school.”

“I told you as soon as we told my parents they’d make us get married,” Robbie told her, sitting down on the bed to untie his shoes.

Mica sat down beside him. “Would you have married me if I wasn’t pregnant?”

Robbie nodded. “I love you, Mica.”

“You promise?”

“I could’ve run away,” the boy told her, laughing.

“You’d never do that… right?”

Robbie shook his head. “No… now come here and let me start unbuttoning that damn dress.”

Mica turned her back. “It was my mom’s when my dad and she got married. He made me wear it.”

“You look beautiful in it.” Robbie kissed his wife’s neck as he popped the buttons.

“I’ll look even better out of it,” she giggled.

 

***
 

New York Public Library - 3rd Person P.O.V.

Jennifer clicked on the website link with the name ‘Brian Kinney’ on it. As she observed the site she couldn’t believe what she was reading. Brian was a descendent of an Irish King. She searched around and the more she read about the man, the more she was surprised.

Brian Kinney was worth millions and not only because of his family. His job restoring old churches, houses and castles was a very lucrative business.

At first, Jennifer wasn’t sure it was the right man, it all seemed so odd. She couldn’t imagine why her young son would appeal to such a man. But then, she saw his picture and there was no denying it. Justin had drawn him perfectly.

Through other links on that site she found a web page dedicated to his business. Many people whom he had done restorations for with had commented on different entries where Brian had posted pictures of the work site’s progress. The employees and people who hired him would comment on the blog entries praising him, both personally for his character and professionally for his amazing work ethic and ingenuity. In the contact information, she found an address and phone number for Brian Kinney’s business. Jennifer entered both into her blackberry. She wasn’t sure what she was going to do with her new information, but it settled her worried heart where Justin was concerned. At least the man had the means to care for her son and also seemed to be a good man.

Jennifer exited out of the page, gathered her things and walked out of the library. She dug out her cell phone the moment she stepped outside and dialed her best friend’s number. “Andrea, it’s Jen,” she spoke the moment her friend answered on the other line. “I’m sorry for bothering you, I know it’s probably late there but I had to talk to you.”

“Jen, it’s fine. What happened?” Andrea queried worriedly.

“I… I don’t know. I think so. I just found out exactly where I believe Justin is staying.”

“Did you talk to him?” Andrea asked, surprised.

“No, no… I mean, he may not actually be with this Brian, but I think that he is. But I don’t know if I should call him. I don’t want to contact him until I know what I’m going to do with Craig.”

“I thought you had decided to leave him,” Andrea said, sadly. “You know you and Molly are welcome to come here.”

“I am… I mean, I will. I now have concrete evidence of him cheating with that client and I’ve already spoken with the other shareholders of the company about this. They are loyal to me and are willing to back me in dissolving his partnership. The prenuptial agreement he signed clearly stated that control of the shares would transfer fully back to me in the event of our divorce if he committed infidelity.”

“Thank god you were able to get those photos from his assistant. I can’t believe he dared to flaunt his relationship with her at that office retreat in Hawaii!” Andrea said appalled. “I knew he was an idiot but to invite her along was just stupid.”

“I can’t say I’m glad that he did, but it saved me from hiring a private investigator. I guess he forgot about the pre-nup. Everyone in that office dislikes the image he is giving off to rival companies and clients. And his assistant was witness to the conversation I had with Craig when he tried to send Molly off to boarding school when he was drunk at work and insisted that he no longer wanted a child in his home. But I’m going to wait until Molly is out of school. She gets out in the middle of June so I think by then I should have all the loose ends tied up with the business and it should be no problem getting custody of her.”

“You’re going to wait until then to contact Justin?”

“I don’t know. I want to call him but I’ve had so many narrow escapes with Craig almost finding out that Justin isn’t there with you. He won’t leave me alone about visiting Justin soon to get him to sign adoption papers. Every time I talk to you, he wants me to reassure him that you still want to adopt ‘the bastard’, as he calls the baby. It’s terrible, Andrea.”

“I wish I could be right there to help you,” Andrea told her friend.

“You’re right where I need you,” Jennifer assured. “If you weren’t so far away there is no way that I’d be able to hide the truth from Craig.”

“I know, I just wish you could leave him sooner. I’m worried about Justin, too.”

“I know, but I don’t want Molly to suffer in school because of this and there is no way that I am leaving him here with her. I was hoping I could wait until Molly and I can just leave New York behind.”

“I suppose that’s probably for the best,” Andrea assured her friend. “Just try and not say much to him.”

Jennifer let out a false laugh. “Like that’s a problem. We haven’t had a two-way conversation in ten years.”

“Do you want me to call this number you found? I can at least ask around and make sure he’s there,” Andrea prodded her friend.

“No… I’m afraid that if Justin finds out we’re looking for him he might run again and then who knows if I’d ever see him or my grandchild.”

“I suppose your right.”

“I’ve got to go and get Molly from school. I’ll call you if anything else happens with Craig and expect me to call tomorrow night to talk to Justin, okay?”

“Sure Jen. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Jennifer hung up the phone and walked down to her car. Her pace was slow and her heart heavy. She was so confused and she wanted to be there for her son immediately. But she had to take care of her daughter too. She put her hand over the locket that hung around her neck, inside was a picture of Justin taken the day he was born. Jennifer hoped that when she did see her son again, that he would forgive her for what she’d done.

 

***
 

Dublin, Ireland - Brian’s P.O.V.

“Will you please talk to me, Justin?” I ask, trying to keep my tone neutral. He only glares at me in response.

I turn away from him, walk into the kitchen, and start to grab out some things to make a sandwich. He can just sit in front of the fireplace and pout then. I’m not going to apologize for saving his ass.

“What are you making?” I hear him ask quietly as he shuffles his way into the kitchen.

I suppress my smile. “I thought you weren’t going to speak to me?”

“The baby wants to know,” he says softly.

“Tell the baby I’m making salami and cheese on whole wheat.”

He stops walking toward me and turns on his heel. “I hate salami.”

“I was talking to the baby,” I remind him, trying not to laugh.

He sits back down on the couch and I hear him whispering, “You’re not supposed to like it. I don’t like it but you’re going to make me eat it aren’t you?”

“Do you want mayonnaise on it?”

He sighs and gets back up and walks over to stand in front of the kitchen island. “Apparently, mayonnaise sounds disgusting today.”

He was dipping carrots in it yesterday at lunch so this is surprising. “Maybe the baby decided he had too much of it yesterday.”

Justin looks back down at his stomach. “Did you?” He looks back up at me. “Apparently you know our baby better than I do.”

He doesn’t even realize what he said. I know that. It would only embarrass him if I called him on it, so I won’t. Hearing him talk like that though, makes me realize that I am doing the right thing. He may not realize it and may be angry with me when he does, but he’ll get over it. “Is your mood swing through?”

“That was rude,” he quips.

I laugh at him. “You need to let me know then when it’s okay to talk to you.”

“I’m talking to you right now.” He gives me a half-smile and playfully slaps my arm.

“That’s really not fair. If you weren’t pregnant I’d hit you back,” I say, joking of course.

He bursts out laughing as if I just said the funniest thing in the world. “You wouldn’t.”

“Never,” I assure. I put his sandwich on a paper plate and hand it to him. “What movie do you want to watch tonight?”

He scrunches his face up and then I see his cheeks blush as he mulls over whatever he’s going to say next. “After we eat can you read to me one of those Irish stories in that big book Betsy gave you?”

“I guess.” I nod. “I get to pick it out though.”

“Fine with me,” he says, sitting down on the couch. “I just love hearing you talk with that Irish accent and …” he trails off.

“What?”

He shakes his head and takes a bite of his food. “Nothing.”

I don’t believe that. “What… tell me?”

He’s blushing like crazy now and I love it. He chews the rest of his bite and looks right into my eyes before he speaks. “I used to read those short stories and poems while imagining it was your voice in my head reading me them.”

I couldn’t make myself smile wider then I probably am at this moment if I tried. We don’t say anything else as we finish our meals, but I do keep looking at him and he catches me almost each time and his blush increases to the point that I think he’ll stay red faced forever. I feel like I’m a kid with crush when I’m around him. I do have a crush on him, but it’s more than that, obviously.

“Can I sleep in your room tonight?” Justin asks, after we read together on the couch. He looks at me through his long dark eyelashes and it sends shivers up and down my spine. I should tell him no, but I won’t. “Did that story scare you?”

“It... had a happy ending but it was a little bit scary. I don’t like the Banshee woman at all,” he tells me, snuggling closer to my body.

“No more scary Irish tales for Mr. Taylor,” I say.

“Mr. Kinney soon,” he whispers.

“You don’t have to take my name, Justin.” Okay… really he does have to. Because I want him too, because the name Taylor comes from that asshole father of his.

“It’ll make our marriage look more real if I do won’t it, Brian?” he asks.

“Yeah, probably,” I agree. “But remember, we can always get an annulment after you have the baby or whenever you’re ready.”

“I know.” he looks away and stands up. “Goodnight.”

“I thought you were going to sleep with me?” I remark with disappointment I cannot hide.

He turns around to face me and wrings his hands nervously. “I don’t want to inconvenience you, Brian. Don’t you get it? That’s all I am. That’s all I do to you, to anyone in my life. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I want to be your friend, not ruin your damn life. I know that I have. Don’t tell me I haven’t.”

I get up from the couch, walk over to him, and lean down so that our eyes are completely level with each others. “You aren’t ruining a thing, Justin. I don’t do anything I don’t want to do. Do you understand me? You have to stop this.” I grab him and hug him as tightly as I can with his belly in the way. “Please tell me you would do the same for me. You’d do anything to help me, to make me happy wouldn’t you?”

“Yes, Brian,” he whispers, now hugging me back.

“You’d marry me too if I needed you too, right?”

He nods. “I would. I’m sorry; I’m such a damn mess.”

I step back and take his hand. “Come on… let’s go to bed. It’s been a long day and we have a lot to do tomorrow.”

“We do?” he asks, confused.

“We have a week to plan a wedding, Justin,” I remind him, taking his hand and dragging him down the hall toward my room.

“But, I thought that… we’d just do it simply,” he says.

“Nah,” I turn to him and smile. “We’ve got to make it look good.”

“Are you sure? I mean, weddings cost a lot of money; especially one planned in a week.”

“Well, so what? Now… what’s mine will be yours oh husband of mine,” I joke. Though to me, my words are serious.

He sits down on my bed. “And what’s mine is yours, is that what you’re saying, Brian?”

I laugh. “Yup.”

“I don’t have much,” he whispers. “Just… what I came here with.”

I start to take off my clothes and strip down to my underwear and face him. “I know what you came here with, Justin, and I’ll take it.”

He looks at me for a long time and I let him look at all of me. I want him to see that I’m what he wants and what he needs. He just has to get the fucks over that shit Robbie. Then, then maybe he’ll realize that what I have to offer him is a thousand… no a million times more than Robbie could ever give him.

Justin stands up and he unbuttons his pants. “Is it okay if I sleep in my underwear too?”

I smile. “I’ve seen all of you before.”

He shucks his pants down and then takes off his shirt. “I’m fat now.”

I look at him standing there in only his black briefs and I feel myself wanting to just melt into a fucking puddle, he’s so fucking sexy and he doesn’t even know it. “Do I have to tell you what I think of you again?” I walk over and run my hand down his chest and to his stomach. “This is beautiful… you are beautiful, Justin.”

“Brian?”

“Yeah?” I hold his gaze with my own as his fingers thread over mine.

“I think you’re beautiful too,” he whispers.

I smile at his kindness, take his hand, and help him into my bed. I then go over to my side and crawl in and spoon my body behind his. He likes to lie like this on the couch sometimes and I wonder if he knows how personal this position really is. Friends don’t lie like this with each other. I’m not going to tell him that though. I’ll just hold onto him and be grateful that he allows this.

XXXXX

Chapter Seven: “Understanding”

 

Dublin, Ireland - Sunday April 9, 2006
3rd Person P.O.V.

“Who are all those people?” Justin asked Betsy, peeking out the balcony windows overlooking the back garden.

“Get away from that window.” Betsy grabbed Justin’s arm and tugged him away from view. She chastised him playfully, “You don’t want them all to see you.”

Justin laughed, walking away from the large windows. “Betsy, they’ve never met me so they won’t even know who they’re seeing if they do. Besides, I’m not exactly a bride.”

“No,” Betsy agreed, fixing Justin’s tie and brushing imaginary lint from the shoulders on his jacket. “Well, they do know that you’re pregnant, Justin.”

Justin gasped. “But…”

Betsy smiled. “This suit jacket hides a lot but it can’t hide that. News of the Duke Kinney having a partner pregnant with his child travels fast.”

Betsy and Brian had told Justin the story of Brian’s heritage as soon as they’d started to plan the ceremony. Justin was floored with the story they both acted like wasn’t a big deal. He had other opinions on it and nearly backed out of the marriage. He didn’t want Brian to get into trouble because of him or disgrace him by calling it off, so he’d agreed to all the rituals Betsy and Brian planned.

Honoring the family wedding rituals went along with marrying Irish Royalty, but Justin hadn’t realized how intricate each one was. He was extremely nervous about the whole ordeal and their future too. It seemed like every day he was getting in deeper in Brian’s life. Now, he’d be married to a duke. He would also carry that title and receive the country’s respect that came along with it, no matter what his past held. It seemed like a dream, but it was his reality. He was marrying Duke Brian Kinney.

What made it all his nervousness worse was that Betsy acted as though the marriage was real. She kept telling Justin how happy she was that he was marrying Brian. She told him how glad she felt knowing that if anything happened to her Brian would have someone to take care of him. She’d even told Justin that morning that she’d dreamed of Brian’s wedding day for a long, long time and that it was the next best day of her life, second only to the day of Brian’s birth.

Justin had reminded her a few times, when they were alone, that he and Brian weren’t actually getting married. He’d told her it was a marriage of convenience. Nevertheless, she ignored him and so Justin stopped reminding her. At times he got lost in the happiness of the upcoming wedding, but the fast rush of excitement halted when he awoke that morning of the wedding.

Now Justin felt terrified. He didn’t want to break Betsy’s heart when he left, because he knew that one day he would have to. He also was afraid that he would embarrass her and Brian at the wedding or at the reception if he did something wrong. He’d thought the rituals were fun as they discussed and practiced them, but now they all seemed muddled in his brain.

“You’ll do fine my boy,” Betsy said, reading his mind. She squeezed his hands in hers and looked him over. “You’re going to make my Brian happy.”

Justin paled. “Betsy, I… you know that we’re only getting married because…”

“Never mind that,” Betsy interrupted him, stepping back. “You’re making my Brian happy. He was so lonely before you came here.”

Justin couldn’t imagine someone as outspoken and charming as Brian, ever to be lonely. He realized that he’d not met any of Brian’s friends that weren’t clients. The man was reclusive; Betsy had told him that and more. The more the blond thought about all of the stories Betsy told him, the sadder it made him at the prospect of leaving. But, he knew he would, one day. He couldn’t just let Brian put his own life on hold for him. Even if it made him happy doing the good he was for him, that wasn’t how Justin thought Brian deserved to live his life.

“Come on,” Betsy said, bringing Justin’s thoughts back to the present. She kissed his cheek. “It’s time for you to get married.”

 

***
 

Brian’s P.O.V.

As Justin and I walked toward one another and met in front of Father Glen, the look on Justin’s face scared me. I was sure he was about to bolt, but he didn’t. I took his hands in my own and felt them shaking so I leaned in and kissed his cheek and whispered, “Calm down, mo grá.”

He nodded and instantly I felt his hands relax and he gave me a small, grateful smile. I ran one of my hands down the lapel of his suit and lightly touched the boutonnière that matched my own. My grandmother had made them from the Bells of Ireland she grew in her garden and tied them together with a simple knot of lover’s twine. The bells were the same color as Justin’s eyes, but the flower’s beauty had nothing on Justin’s.

We turned and faced the crowd seated in white chairs along the garden’s lawn. My grandmother was walking down the long isle between them. She was dressed in a billowing green dress; her long red curly hair blew in the light breeze. Her face was lit up in a smile and I felt so happy, knowing that my happiness of today was hers too. She carried in her hands a long strand of lover’s rope and when my Grandmother finally stood before us I saw tears shining in her green eyes.

“Mo páiste,” she spoke softly and reached up to touch my face before giving me a gentle kiss on my cheek. She spoke the same two words to Justin and kissed his cheek before handing the soft rope to the priest and going to sit down in the front row.

Justin grabbed both of my hands in his, obviously remembering how we’d practiced this part two days ago. He still looked extremely nervous but his smile was now brighter and stronger. I stepped closer to him, hearing the Priest direct me to do so as he began to recite in Irish, the passage for the lover’s rope ritual.

When he was finished speaking he blessed the rope and began to tie it around our joined hands and wrists. The ends of the rope fell between us, resting upon Justin’s belly. I kept staring into Justin’s eyes, willing him to understand how much this union meant to me. Hoping, he could see that to me this was real. This was necessary.

Then, in English, Father Glen gave us another blessing. This was Justin’s favorite from the book he had and one of my surprises to him. His eyes widened and got glassy as he recognized it from the first five words spoken from Father Glen.

“May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace. May your troubles grow few as your blessings increase. May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship and your hearts joined forever in love. Your lives are very special; God has touched you in many ways. May his blessings rest upon you and fill all your coming days.”

My Grandmother then came to stand right behind us. She wiped the tears from Justin’s face, then passed our rings to the priest, over our joined hands. “Now you are both the son’s of my heart,” she said, lightly placing her hands over ours. Justin and I thanked her and then she went to sit down her chair once again.

“With God’s and your Grandmother’s blessing upon this marriage it is now time for you both to vow your own blessings to one another,” the Priest told us. This part of the ceremony was more familiar to Justin. Though our hands were tied, so it was the Priest who placed the ring on Justin’s finger. He then prompted me to speak my vow.

I ran the tips of my fingers over the ring and held his eyes with my own as I spoke in a sure voice,

“We swear by peace and love to stand. Heart to heart and hand to hand.
Hark, O Spirit, and hear us now. Confirming this, our Sacred Vow.”

“With the blessings and Brian’s loving vow, you have now become, Duke Justin Taylor. I now must ask you. Do you affirm this vow is from your heart and also do you vow to be true to, Duke Brian Kinney?” Father Glen asked Justin.

Justin nodded his head and softly spoke, “I do.”

The Priest nodded and then slid the other ring onto my finger and asked Justin to give the vow in return. His voice shook a little as he spoke, but his eyes held mine, giving me hope that maybe, just maybe he believed in the words too.

“Duke Brian Kinney, do you affirm this vow is from your heart, and also do you vow to be true to, Duke Justin Taylor-Kinney?”

I nodded and replied, “I do.”

Father Glen then reached toward us and began to unravel the rope. “As I unwind this lover’s rope, your bond to one another will only become stronger. The promise of living your life together as one will need no binds now.” The Priest held the rope then in his hands and spoke a long Irish blessing as he held it. He then tied the two ends together, braiding them in an infinity knot before placing it back in our hands. “May this symbol of infinity hang above the most sacred of doors in your home, so that when in times of sorrow or trouble it will be a reminder of the vows you made today. I ask you to kiss and seal this commitment and I ask you all to welcome the Dukes Brian and Justin Kinney.”

I grabbed Justin into my arms and slowly leaned down to touch his lips with mine. I’d really been looking forward to this moment. Justin gave me an odd look right before our lips touched, but as they met, his eyes closed and we both lost ourselves in the kiss.

The crowd’s clapping and cheering alerted us to part much too soon. I grabbed his hand and turned us toward the crowd of people who were now standing and we walked hand in hand down the long middle isle, a mix of wild flowers and rice landing upon us as we picked up our pace and made a mad dash for the house.

 

***
 

New York City - 3rd Person Point of View

“Was that Andrea?” Craig asked, coming into the kitchen.

Jennifer pocketed her cell phone and nodded. “Yes. She just wanted to give me an update.”

Craig looked into the pan cooking on the stove. “You’re making stir fry?”

“Yes.” Jennifer nodded, trying her best to remain calm, cool and collected.

Craig popped a piece of the cooking shrimp in his mouth and chewed while he spoke. “Did Justin sign the papers for Andrea to adopt the bastard child?”

Jennifer wanted to slap the man, but she resisted and began to chop the carrots, taking her anger out on the cutting board. Once she felt she could speak in her normal tone she told him. “Because it is an international adoption there is a longer process and Andrea wants to wait until Justin has the last of the baby’s amniocentesis test resul…”

“I don’t care for the details, Jen,” Craig interrupted. “I just need to know that some progress is being made with getting the situation taken care of.”

Jennifer thought to herself about everything she’d begin to arrange and smiled politely at her husband. “Yes. There is progress with getting the situation taken care of, Craig.”

Craig ran his hand down his wife’s arm, not realizing how close he was to getting it chopped off. “Thanks dear.” He then kissed her cheek and left the kitchen.

Jennifer silently fumed but her anger only made her resolve to leave the man and give him exactly what he deserved even stronger. She’d spoken privately to Molly early that morning after Craig had left for work. She told her daughter the truth of the situation with both Justin and their marriage. Molly had revealed that she’d gone to visit him during her lunch period one day a few months prior and had caught her father kissing another woman. Craig did not know that she’d caught him and Molly apologized and told her mother that she was scared he would send her away too if she told. Jennifer was thankful that Molly didn’t know how close it had been to that happening.

Jennifer assured Molly that she knew of Craig’s unfaithfulness for a long time before and that she understood why she had not confessed to seeing him kissing another woman in his office. By Molly’s description of her, it was a different woman than the client Craig had been with in Hawaii. Molly told Jennifer that she wanted nothing to do with her father and would never tell of her mother’s plan to find Justin and his baby.

Molly loved and missed her brother and she knew that her father was to blame for the time she’d lost with him. Craig rarely paid any attention to her and even though she didn’t think that her father would fight her mom for custody, she knew that she would tell the courts that she never wanted to have anything to do with him. Even at her young age, she saw through him and knew he wasn’t a good man. She’d known that long before she saw him kissing another woman. He never treated her mother or brother well and she was glad that her mother was finally going to get them both away from him.

She couldn’t wait for the day that she would finish the school year and go with her mother to find her older brother.

 

***
 

Dublin, Ireland  - 3rd Person P.O.V.

Justin sat down in his chair at the groom’s table and let out a long tired sigh as he glanced around the crowded ballroom. He couldn’t believe the fuss around him which was all for a shotgun wedding that wasn’t real to the two people to whom it was supposed to mean everything. The more the day had worn on, the worse he felt for deceiving them all.

So many people had congratulated him and Brian. There were stacks of cards and presents filling the receiving tables in the hall. Kinney relatives hugged and kissed him, mothers and fathers doted on him, taking guesses as to what he and Brian’s child would look like. Brian’s cousin had given him a baby cap that she’d said every Kinney child had worn. The cap; made from a Duchess’ wedding gown held great meaning to the Kinney’s. Justin had gratefully accepted the gift, but inside he felt like crawling in a hole.

At least a hundred people had told him how absolutely perfect he and Brian were suited for each other. Some hinted to the horrible start in life Brian was given and how great of a man he’d become in spite of it. A start in life that Justin knew nothing about, but pretended he did. He was sure that they all assumed that any couple in love and newly married would know about the other’s past. However, Justin knew next to nothing.

He smiled and accepted the blessings bestowed to them and as he had with the preparations for the weeding, he lost himself in the joy of it all. At times, he felt and believed it all to be real. Then, reality would come back into focus. None of the sentiments and happiness could mean anything really. It couldn’t last. Duke Brian Kinney did not love him. His child was a bastard in the Catholic religion’s eyes, and he would one day be but a distant memory to all the people before him.

At times, guests raised questions that bothered Justin. However, Brian handled most of them well. The reasons for Justin’s family not attending the ceremony he easily explained away because of the travel conditions and the immediate need for the wedding. Most of the guests knew the story of Justin needing to keep citizenship, but they all believed that Brian and Justin’s engagement was a long time coming. Betsy’s gossip had travelled easily amongst the guests. Justin’s age however did throw some guests through a loop, but when Brian told them that ‘love knew no bounds’, they fell for the romantic line and wished them all the best.

The older man hadn’t let Justin out of his site the entire afternoon until Justin had finally given in to his nerves told him that he wanted to rest before they had their last dance. This would be another custom, one where he and Brian would dance by themselves and at the end, leave the party to go onto their honeymoon, though they’d explained to guests that Justin didn’t feel up to travelling. So they would be going home to honeymoon, or so everyone thought.

The blond watched Brian dancing with Betsy. Both Kinney’s floated effortlessly across the dance floor. They seemed to be bursting with joy and Justin realized that they too, had become lost in all the excitement.

“Mr. Taylor. Or should I address you as Mr. Kinney now?”

Justin looked beside him and tried not to roll his eyes. “Mr. Kinney is fine.”

Brogan touched Justin’s ring for a moment. “I still can’t believe Brian Kinney finally decided to settle down and get married. I never would have thought he would.”

Justin wasn’t going to let the man talk ill of Brian. “Jealous?”

Brogan laughed as he took a long drink from his glass of whiskey. “Hardly. Just curious as to why he’d choose to go through with everything he did. You do know about his past right?”

Justin felt the day’s tension boiling within him. He turned and faced Brogan. “Whoever Brian was before we met is of no consequence to me. It’s who he is now that counts. I’m sorry… or rather I’m not sorry that he couldn’t be happy with you like you so obviously want. But how long ago was that?”

“It wasn’t so long ago,” Brogan, told him, his eyes narrowing. “I mean, obviously he had to marry you to keep you in the country and because you’re with child. But… to go as far as he did with the ceremony. You must be quite a catch.”

Justin furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh,” Brogan laughed. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure you’re a great guy, Justin Taylor. And, I don’t want Brian Kinney for myself. You’re wrong about that. I honestly don’t understand how someone could tie himself, his life, to Brian so fully. He’s a difficult man and if anyone that knows that, I do.”

“You obviously don’t know Brian like I do,” Justin hissed in a whisper. “I’m happy to be tied to him.”

“But, with no out clause?” Brogan shook his head. “I’m all for the two of you getting married. But the whole, ‘no law or earthly force will separate thee’ thing, the binding lover’s rope and infinity knot. That’s pretty intense.”

Justin tried not to show his shock. He didn’t understand much of what Father Glen had spoken in Irish, but he’d thought it was all a blessing, not a… what was that? What in the fuck had Brian had the man do? Before Justin could say anything back to Brogan, he saw Brian walking toward him, smiling, and had his eyes only focused on him.

“Hey,” Brian said, leaning down and giving Justin’s lips a soft kiss. “Are you ready to have our last dance?”

Justin tried not to show the anger and confusion he felt. He wouldn’t embarrass Brian or Betsy. He also wasn’t sure if he should believe what had come out of Brogan’s mouth or not. He and Brian weren’t going to go home and have a private honeymoon; they’d be having a very intense private conversation.

He took Brian’s hand and stood up from the chair. “Sure.”

Brian looked at Justin and ran one of his hands over his stomach. “Are you feeling okay? You look….”

“I’m fine,” Justin interrupted and took Brian’s hand off his stomach. “Let’s go dance.”

Brian leaned into Justin and spoke in his ear, “Wait. If you’re not feeling okay we don’t have to do this.”

Justin lightly pushed Brian away from him a little. “It is part of the tradition, a ritual right?”

“Yeah… but you’re more important. Whatever you want to do is fine with me. I could care less about the fucking traditions,” Brian stopped speaking when he saw Justin’s face scrunch up with anger. The younger man’s blue eyes turned dark and he shook his head at him. Brian looked behind him and noticed Brogan looking at their every move. “Did Brogan say something to you?” Brian whispered.

Justin realized he was showing too much emotion. He didn’t want their guests seeing him get angry. “No. No…I’m just tired. One dance and then we can go home.”

 

***
 

New York

“You think it’s my fault, don’t you?” Mica cried.

“No, no baby,” Robbie rubbed his wife’s back.

“But…but now we can’t even have anymore,” she whimpered.

Robbie rubbed Mica’s empty belly. “We’ll adopt then.”

“No one’s going to let two teenagers adopt a kid, Robbie. Be serious. Now everything is totally fucked. I’m not going to get my inheritance and neither are you.”

“I’ll still get mine,” Robbie told her firmly.

“How the hell are you going to do that?” Mica asked, wiping the tears from her face.

Robbie sighed. “Justin.”

Mica’s eyes got wide. “You knocked him up and you didn’t tell me!”

“No…well, he swore it was mine Mica but I wasn’t so sure. Besides, his parents shipped him off somewhere or something. I don’t even know if he kept it.”

Mica narrowed her bloodshot eyes and growled, “I want to have your baby, Robbie.”

 

***
 

Dublin, Ireland

“You lied to me, Brian! When I asked you what all that Irish stuff meant you told me it wasn’t important.” Justin paced back and forth in front of his husband. “I don’t think anything could’ve been more important!”

“I… I didn’t lie, Justin.” Brian tried to take the man in his arms but Justin pushed him away.

“What were you thinking? Why would you do something like this?”

“Justin I…”

“No!” Justin held up his hand. “Don’t! You fucked up your life, don’t you get that?”

“I didn’t, Justin. I wanted to…”

“Help me,” Justin interrupted. “I know. But you didn’t have to go so far. You know that I can’t stay here forever, Brian. You’re not the father of my baby and they all think you are. You have all the fucking rights to her now! That isn’t fair. It isn’t right. What if Robbie wanted my baby and me? Now I can’t even fucking leave you! You didn’t give me the choice. You’re just as bad as my parents!”

“Fuck!” Brian roared. “Let me fucking explain, Justin.”

“You can’t explain this Brian. Whether you meant to tie me to you for fucking life or not, you can’t explain this away. It’s set in fucking stone. You’re the all powerful Duke Kinney, and I’m no one!”

“Shut up for minute,” Brian growled, getting in Justin’s face. He took the boy into his arms and attacked Justin’s lips with his own.

Just before Justin felt himself opening his mouth to Brian’s kiss he felt the other man pull away from him. “What are you doing?” he demanded.

Brian stared into Justin’s eyes, he could feel tears prickling the backs of his own, but he fought them off. He spoke in a gravelly voice, “None of it means anything. Not a single ritual.” He pointed to the wedding ring on Justin’s finger. “Not one single vow or tradition means shit unless we consummate our marriage.”

“What?” Justin said, confused.

Brian turned away from the boy, feeling his heart breaking. “I have to fuck you… to consummate the marriage. Or it doesn’t mean shit… in the eyes of the law.”

“Oh,” Justin whispered. His emotions were now a mix of relief, regret and something else he couldn’t place. He walked over to Brian and put his hand on the man’s back. “I’m sorry.”

Brian turned around and let Justin see into his soul. He felt completely ripped open. He laid himself bare, letting the boy see how he felt. “Forgiven,” he spoke quietly. He reached in, drew Justin into his embrace, and felt the younger boy melt into his arms. It may have seemed like he forgave Justin’s accusations too easily, but Brian knew that Justin had a right to be pissed. More so, because Brian knew that he wasn’t going to let that little stipulation ruin anything. He’d find a way to have Justin Kinney in his bed. He’d show Justin just what it was like to have a husband that loved him and his child unconditionally.

 

XXXXX

Chapter Eight: “Heartbreak Quake”

 

3rd Person P.O.V. - Saturday, June 5th 2006
New York

“What the fuck do you mean no one knows where he’s at?” Mica screeched at her husband.

Robbie paced their living room floor. “Look. It’s not like I can tell anyone exactly why I want to know.”

“Yeah, well you better figure out something quick, Robbie.” Mica stood up from the sofa, put her hands on her hips and glared at her husband. “If you don’t find him we’re going to be cut off real soon. My Dad keeps asking me if everything is all right with the baby because my belly isn’t growing. I can’t keep up with this charade much longer. I can’t keep pretending that I…that I didn’t…” the girl trailed off as tears cascaded down her tan cheeks. “He’s going to be so angry with me.”

Robbie took his wife in his arms and patted her back. “Shhh…don’t cry, Mica.”

Mica dried her eyes with Robbie’s suit handkerchief and took deep calming breaths. “I just can’t do it, Robbie. I keep getting all these baby clothes and I had to turn down going shopping for baby furniture with your mother today. Both of our parents keep asking me when they can start telling people that I’m pregnant. You’ve got to find Justin before I go crazy.”

“I don’t know who else to ask. None of our old group of friends ever really liked him because they thought he was too bookish. They didn’t care enough about him to know anything about where he went. The last everyone heard, he was staying with his Great Aunt in Jersey, but he isn’t there. No one at school has any idea that he was pregnant, if he still is. For all I know, his parents could’ve made him get an abortion then sent him off on some sweet vacation to make up for it.”

“You were best friends. Why don’t you know where he is?” Mica asked in exasperation, completely forgetting that Robbie and Justin’s friendship was usually one-sided. “You should know something about where he might’ve been sent to after his aunt’s house!”

“Maybe I don’t because I never asked or he never told me. Jesus, Mica, I still don’t know if the child is mine. He said that it was, but who knows? I cheated on him with you technically twice. He may not have been as faithful and innocent as he seems you know. He didn’t tell me everything about him.”

“Whatever, Robbie. You wouldn’t have brought it up if you didn’t at least think there was a possibility that you were his kid’s father. So you have to be able to find you kid,” Mica demanded.

“His family is obviously hiding his little secret. No one knows he’s pregnant if he is. Everyone at school all thinks that he was staying with his aunt because she was sick. He was graduating at he beginning of January, so he might’ve already gone to a University.”

“Then call the Universities and ask if he’s enrolled,” Mica suggested desperately.

“I contacted every place that his Father would ever consider sending him to. He isn’t enrolled anywhere, Mica,” Robbie explained, sitting back down on the couch.

Mica stood over him. “Your parents don’t even know where he is?”

“Why would they know? The Taylors don’t associate with the Lancasters unless they have to. My family is barely a blip on their radar since the only money we have is old used up money my Great Grandfather left us. And, we all know that’s pretty much why they don’t associate with yours too.”

“Yeah, well… my family never wanted to be part of there elitist crowd anyway!” Mica yelled. “Hey… wait a minute. I have an idea, Robbie.”

Robbie pulled Mica down to sit beside him. “Why do I feel like I should be afraid?”

“You shouldn’t be,” Mica smirked. “But the Taylors should be.”

Robbie nodded. “I’m listening.”

“Well, how about we turn their ignorance around, so that it’ll benefit us,” the girl suggested, grinning evilly.

“And, how are we going to do that?” Robbie wondered, confused.

“Do you think they have any idea we got married?”

“Like I said, we’re not even on their radar so there is a good chance they don’t. Why?”

“If they don’t know we’re married, then maybe you can ask his mother where he is.”

“There’s no way Jennifer will tell me, Mica. First of all, I’m pretty sure that Justin didn’t even tell them that I’m the baby’s father. In fact, they probably thought so and he probably denied it.”

“Why do you think that if he told you it was yours?” Mica asked.

“Because I know how Craig Taylor works. That asshole would’ve called my parents and would’ve demanded that we get married.”

“Or you’re right about him getting an abortion and they just didn’t want to tell you.”

“Either way, he would’ve at least called my parents and made me pay for it,” Robbie assured her. “There’s no way they would’ve done that. That baby is alive and Justin is probably set up somewhere waiting to deliver it and probably put it up for adoption or something.”

“Are you sure, Robbie?”

“Positive. Craig would have demanded that I pay for it, even if it’s just a dime in a bucket of billions to him. He thinks he lives his life on principals and likes to force them onto others.”

“Well, you’ll have to sneak around Craig and approach his mom. I bet if you could talk to her you might be able to find Justin. If you tell her that he told you that you weren’t the father, but that now you’ve had a change in heart and want to be the baby’s father and marry Justin, she might tell you where he is.”

“I dunno,” Robbie sighed. “Jennifer might think it’s odd that after all this time I suddenly show up.”

“Then play her,” Mica instructed playfully. “Cry if you have to. Give her a sob story about how much you know you and Justin are perfect for each other and there may be a chance he’s carrying your baby. Tell her you’ll take care of Justin, love him, all that crap. Make her believe you Robert. It’s our only chance.”

“What if she tells me where he is? What do we do then?”

“We go on our honeymoon,” Mica smiled. “After graduation we’re both free to do as we please and I’m sure our parents would at least allow us that.”

“But, we’d really be going to see Justin?”

Mica rolled her eyes at her clueless husband. “Of course.”

 

***
 

Saturday, June 10, 2006 - Ireland

“What are you so happy about this morning?”

Justin shrugged at Brian’s question and continued to whip the eggs in the metal bowl while humming the tune he’d been singing all morning.

Brian put down the paper he was reading and came up behind Justin, circling his arms around the younger man. “Tell me,” he prompted the blond.

“Can’t I just be happy?” Justin wondered.

Brian laughed and kissed Justin’s neck lightly before moving away from the man. “Of course you can. In fact, I’d hope for your happiness more than any one else’s.”

Justin dropped the fork in the bowl and raised his eyebrows at Brian. “Why do you say things like that to me?”

Brian shrugged. “What’s wrong with me wanting you to be happy?”

“Nothing, unless it comes at the cost of your happiness, Brian.”

Brian groaned and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Are you ever going to stop second guessing what you mean to me?”

Justin felt his heart accelerate in reaction to Brian’s words and as he realized this, fear bloomed from within him. He grabbed the fork and started to whisk the eggs again, keeping his eyes down he asked, “What exactly is that, Brian?”

“You’re my best friend,” Brian told him. There was no way in hell he could tell Justin the truth yet. There was too much at stake. He’d have to be patient and bide his time and wait for Justin to wake up to the reality.

Justin sighed to himself. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed in Brian’s answer because in the last month he and Brian had grown extremely close. On the days when Brian could spare the time off of work, which was often; they would go shopping for stuff for the baby or have picnics in the park beside Brian’s building. Justin had filled four sketchbooks of Brian and Brian had taken numerous pictures of them visiting all the wonderful historical landmarks in Ireland.

They spent their nights reading together or watching movies. Sometimes, Justin would get out his sketch book in the middle of the night when he couldn’t sleep and draw Brian. This all happened in the master bedroom they now shared. Above it’s door, Brian had customarily placed the lover’s knot they’d been given at their wedding. Justin tried not to think too much about that, but it was as though his eyes were drawn to it every time he walked into the hall. Betsy had insisted that it be placed there because she feared that someone did come into their home and not see it there, they would think that he and Brian were no longer in love.

Justin and Betsy formed an even stronger bond within the last month. The weather had gotten nicer and the woman insisted on the two of them going outside to pain in the garden. This way, Justin would be able to work with the paint, as previously he’d only done sketches and used chalks and oil pastels as they worked. They would sit outside in the middle of the lush garden and paint all day, until Brian would call them back inside when he was ready to leave in the evening.

Their styles were different, but Betsy and Justin both loved seeing the different interpretations each of them created when painting the same subject. They only had to finish up a few details on their paintings of the Bells of Ireland. Both would be placed beside each other on the empty walls in the apartment’s hallway.

While they painted they would discuss everything under the sun. Betsy was a wonderful storyteller. Besides the walks through the castle and the history she told Justin of it, she also would share historical tales about the Kinney family and magical romantic tales too.

Justin told Betsy about all of his dreams and fantasies for his life. They often stayed off the subject of men, though Betsy would at times go on and on to Justin about how wonderful he and Brian would be together if only Justin would get over Robbie. She made no bones about divulging her wishes for Justin and Brian’s marriage to be real and told Justin that she couldn’t speak for Brian, but was sure that Brian loved him. Justin tried to explain that it wasn’t possible many times, but the old woman dismissed him.

Betsy would usually change the subject and talk about the baby at that point, or rather her grandchild, as that is how she referred to Emma. Justin knew this made her happy and he knew that his daughter would always be bound to Betsy in a way, so he accepted the title happily. Though when she would slip into her fantasies and refer to Brian as the baby’s Da’, it made Justin extremely uncomfortable. Justin never told her that though, he didn’t want to hurt her.

Through these talks with Betsy, Justin learned of Brian’s past which the man had always diverted from speaking about whenever Justin would ask him to. He’d been hesitant when Betsy had first began talking to him about it, but she assured him that it wasn’t anything Brian was hiding, it was just very painful to him and she’d already asked Brian’s permission to tell him about it. Justin secretly hoped that Brian would find the courage to tell him personally one day. He’d shared so much with Brian; he hoped the older man would trust him in the same way.

“Justin? Justin?”

Justin looked up at Brian. “What?”

Brian laughed at the blond. “While you were lost in thought I think you’ve beaten the eggs to death.”

Justin looked down into the bowl; the egg mixture was practically completely foam. “Shit!”

“Just toss it,” Brian told him. “Let me take you out to…”

“A little place you love?” Justin laughed, finishing Brian’s sentence. It was what the brunet would say whenever he wanted to take him somewhere new to eat.

“Yeah.” Brian grabbed the bowl out of Justin’s hands and threw it in the sink. He looked into Justin’s eyes and placed one hand onto his stomach and spoke softly, “A little place I love.”

Justin was sure that had he not been holding onto the island with one of his hands, he would’ve fallen over. He did his best to keep from blushing and nodded, stepping away from Brian. “Let me go get changed.”

Brian watched as Justin disappeared into his bedroom. He wondered what the boy had been thinking so deeply about while he whisked the eggs and was pretty sure that it was all about him.

***

Monday, June 12th, 2006 - New York

“Hi, Mrs. Taylor.”

“Come in, Robbie,” Jennifer said, her voice uncertain.

“Thank you,” the young man said, trying his hardest to sound sincere.

Jennifer led Robbie into the living room and motioned for him to sit down on the couch across from her chair. “You know that Justin isn’t here don’t you?”

Robbie nodded. “I do. That’s why I’m here. I’m trying to find him.”

“Why now?” Jennifer wondered skeptically. “He’s been gone for months.”

Robbie batted his dark brown lashes and put on a sad face. “I know, but I thought he’d be coming back.”

Jennifer scrunched up her face in confusion. “Why?” she asked contritely.

“Jennifer, I don’t think he’s still visiting with his aunt.”

“Why is that your business?” Jennifer demanded.

“I know Justin is pregnant,” Robbie revealed.

Jennifer gasped. “You do? He said that he hadn’t told anyone.”

“He…he told me he was. But, he also told me that the child could be mine,” Robbie admitted.

“What?” Jennifer stood up. “When did he tell you that?”

Robbie tried his hardest to look pitiful as he spoke. “He told me that it could be, but he said he was sure it was someone else’s. We’d only had sex one time and….”

“And you come here now?” Jennifer yelled in disbelief. “After all this time!”

Robbie cheered silently as he felt tears wash into his eyes. He whispered, “Jennifer, I think he only told me that because he loved me and didn’t want to burden me or something. I was hurt when he said that it could be someone else’s. I thought he loved me; I didn’t know understand how he could have cheated on me. I was angry for a long time at him because I thought that he just threw our love away. But I’ve really missed him and somehow the anger lessened lately and I’m thinking more clearly. I realized that even if there is the slightest possibility that the baby could be mine, then I need to find him.” Robbie broke down and sobbed into his hands. “I want the baby and I want him, even if the baby’s not mine I have this horrible feeling that Justin is hurt and he needs me. I love him and I want to take care of him, Jennifer. He was my best friend and now he may be carrying our baby. I have to find him. It’s been horrible trying to live without him.”

Jennifer didn’t like seeing the boy cry so desperately. She understood where he was coming from, she didn’t want to live without Justin in her life either. She sat down next to him on the couch and patted his back comfortingly. “What if the baby isn’t yours, Robbie?” she asked softly.

Robbie looked up at Jennifer and wiped his eyes. “What do you mean?” he whined.

“If the baby isn’t yours…would you still want my son in your life? Would you want his child?”

“Of course,” the young man spoke quickly. Robbie took a deep breath and wiped his crocodile tears from his face. He looked into the woman’s trusting blue eyes and spoke with deceiving passion, “I’d marry him, Jennifer, if… if you gave us your permission. If he’ll have me. But you have to tell me where he is. I love him.”

“What if he is with someone else, Robbie?”

Robbie frowned. “Is that where he is? He’s with some guy?”

Jennifer sighed and said softly, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know where he is!” Robbie gasped. “Do you know if he’s still pregnant?”

“Calm down, Robbie,” Jennifer said, flustered at the boy’s outburst. “Unless he’s already given birth for some bad reason, he is still pregnant. He didn’t tell me or his father until he was too far along to have an abortion. You don’t have to worry, Justin wants to raise his baby.”

“Sorry,” Robbie collected himself but seethed with the news and the problems it would cause him. “I’m just so worried about him.”

“Justin is in Dublin,” Jen revealed.

“What’s he doing in Ohio?” Robbie asked, trying to think if Justin had ever mentioned any family living there.

“Not that Dublin, Robbie. He’s in Ireland,” Jennifer explained.

“What? Why is he there?” Robbie asked in fake worry.

“His father wanted him to give the baby up for adoption. He was supposed to go stay with a friend of mine while I figured out what to do, but he cashed in the first class ticket and flew to Ireland instead. He doesn’t know that I even know he’s there, or well… I’m sure he knows that I realize he’s not in France.”

“But why would he go to Ireland?”

“Robbie,” Jennifer sighed sadly. “I don’t know for sure. I think he’s staying with a friend there. I’m too afraid to contact him just yet. I don’t want to scare him or have Craig find out. Molly and I were planning on going to see him in a couple weeks.”

“Well I want to go see him now,” Robbie told her. “I need to make sure he’s okay. Do you have this friend’s address?”

Jennifer nodded. “Yes. Though he may not be staying there any longer.”

“Well it wouldn’t hurt to try, right?” Robbie tried to keep his voice happy, though he was pissed that he’d have to fly half-way around the world to find his ex boyfriend.

“I guess not,” Jennifer told him. “But do me a favor and if you find him, don’t tell him I’m planning on coming out there if you guys aren’t going to come back to New York right away.”

“Okay Mrs. Taylor, I won’t. Thank you for helping me.”

“You let me know if you find him, Robbie,” Jennifer told him sternly. “Call me and tell me how he is. Either way, I will be flying out there soon.” She didn’t want to tell the boy how soon just in case it were her and Molly that was able to arrive first. She wasn’t sure she wanted Robbie going along with the both of them because it would be a huge shock to Justin to see all three of them at once.

“I will,” Robbie falsely promised. “I’ll call as soon as I find him.”

Jennifer stood up and walked Robbie to the door. “When are you leaving?” she asked, hoping it wasn’t too soon.

“Friday,” Robbie answered. “When do you plan to leave?”

“Not for a few weeks yet,” Jennifer lied and inwardly cursed the fact that Robbie would be there at the same time.

He gave her a gentle wave and slipped out the door, a devious smirk, firmly planted on his face as he walked down the hall.

 

***
 

Friday June 16th 2006 - Ireland

“Brian?” Justin gently knocked on the spare room’s door. He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried his best to gain strength. He spoke softly as he knocked a little harder. “Brian, please. I’m so worried about you, you’ve been in there for hours, it’s after midnight, please just let me in or come out and come to bed.”

The blond waited for a few more minutes, calling out Brian’s name a couple of more times. He got the same response he’d received ever since Brian locked himself in the room after they came back from Betsy’s funeral. Justin’s feet hurt from standing outside the door for the last half hour and though he didn’t think he could sleep, he knew that he needed to lie down.

Justin went to his room. He kept his belongings in there, but he’d only slept there the last four nights. Brian’s cousin Kathleen drove him back to the apartment shortly after Betsy passed away at the hospital. The older man had told Kathleen to tell Justin that he’d be staying at the family home, but Justin had only thought it would be for the night. He was left completely alone in his grief for the next two days, until finally Brian had shown up today, only an hour before Betsy’s funeral.

Kathleen accompanied Brian to the apartment and it was clear to Justin that she thought Brian had at the very least called him. The older man didn’t look at his husband or offer any sort of apology for abandoning him. He only mumbled something about needing to find his black suit and went straight into his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Kathleen had asked Justin why he wasn’t ready to go and told him they had to leave in just a few minutes. Instead of telling her the truth, Justin blamed his lateness on morning sickness and then quickly disappeared into his room to get dressed.

When he came out of his room, dressed in a button down black shirt and a pair of dark grey pants, Kathleen asked him why it was that he kept his clothes in the spare room. Justin was caught off-guard and didn’t know what to say at first. But, Brian came into the living room, hearing the tale end of the question and softly reminded his cousin about the size of the closets in old buildings and made a barely there joke about his over exuberant taste for clothes and shopping.

Justin wanted to desperately to do something, say something, that would help his husband through out the funeral, but he didn’t think of a thing that he thought would help Brian. He himself felt such pain from Betsy’s death and he’d only known her a short time, he could only imagine how hard it was for Brian, as she was more his mother than she was his grandmother.

Justin had sat in silence beside Brian and held the man’s shaking hands with both of his as the Priest spoke. The blond knew that he couldn’t be mad at Brian for acting the way he had, so he silently supported Brian the entire afternoon, even if the brunet didn’t seem to notice he was there.

As soon as they’d gotten back to the apartment, Brian had taken off into the mystery room without a glance at Justin. Justin fought with grief and tried to pretend that the day was like any other day, that way he could remain strong for Brian if the man ever came out of the room.

But Brian didn’t, at least not to where Justin saw him. He’d heard Brian enter the bathroom that adjoined with the spare room a few times, but besides that, the man had sat in the mystery room, as silent as he’d sat beside him in the church.

Justin took off his clothes and went to use the bathroom. After, he washed his hands and was just about to turn out the light when he heard whimpering from the other side of the door. He knew that he couldn’t give up on Brian tonight. He had to do something to try and help the older man. He quickly shut off the light and closed the door and sat down heavily on his bed as he tried to think of what he could say to get Brian to let him in or to get him to come out of the room.

Then, a thought occurred to Justin. Brian had gone straight into the room when he’d gotten home. He hadn’t seen him get the key, and when they’d gotten the call about Betsy, Brian had been in there and rushed around in his room to get dressed and had thrown it onto the dresser. He hadn’t had to unlock the door when he’d come home and Justin was sure that the key was probably still sitting where he’d thrown it before.

Justin quickly got up from the bed and walked determinedly down the hallway to the master bedroom. He flicked on the light and turned toward the dresser, sure enough the key with the Celtic knot face key chain sat on the surface. He grabbed it, walked back into the hall and stood before the ‘mystery room’.”

“Brian,” Justin called again, his voice strong but caring. “Let me in. This is your last chance to open the door yourself. I’m coming in either way.” He waited and counted to ten in his head, when he didn’t hear a word from Brian, he placed the key into the lock and turned the handle on the wooden door.

Justin pushed open the door and stepped into the room. He could barely focus on the actual contents inside because his husband began to immediately yell at him.

“You have no right to come in here!” Brian yelled from his seat on the rocker. “Get out!”

Justin was startled from Brian’s roar, but he steeled his emotions and spoke in a strong voice, “I won’t leave.”

Brian turned his head away from Justin’s gaze and mumbled something indecipherable to Justin.

The blond slowly walked over to his husband, knelt beside the rocker and put his hands on top of Brian’s. “Please, Brian. I’m so worried about you. You’re sitting here alone in the dark, it’s after midnight now and you’re in this room…that…that…”

Brian tore his hands away and glared down at Justin. “Why do you care? Just leave me alone!”

“No,” Justin told the man firmly, shaking his head. He put his hands back onto Brian’s. “I won’t leave you alone right now. I do care about you. You’re my husband and I…”

Brian stood up from the chair in a rush of movement, knocking Justin onto his butt. “Now I’m your husband! You’re un-fucking-believable!”

Justin watched as Brian ran past him and out of the room. As quickly as he could, he ran after the man, stepping into Brian’s room just before the older man could slam the door in his face.

Brian put his head against the door and let out a deep angry breath. He glared at the boy, opened the door again and growled, “Get out, now!”

Justin stepped up toward the doorway and by the relief on Brian’s face he could tell the man thought that he was going to listen to him and leave. Instead, he grabbed the door, slammed it shut and stood up to Brian, shouting firmly, “I’m not leaving!”

“Fine!” Brian replied, pushing Justin to the side. He walked toward the bed, stripping off the pieces of his tailored black suit as he went. He shucked his pants down his hips and turned toward his husband. “Listen, Justin. You’re the one that insists that we’re nothing but friends. You keep saying you’re going to leave me as soon as you can. Our relationship isn’t real to you! So what right do you think you have to call me your husband? To use that word as though it means anything to you and our relationship?”

Justin fought the tears that wanted to spring from his eyes, he walked over to Brian. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that. But I am your friend, Brian.”

Brian wiped the stray tears from his eyes and sarcastically laughed. “Oh my God, mo grá, you just don’t get it!”

“No, I don’t,” Justin whispered.

“I’d do anything for you, Justin, and anything for the baby. I’d protect you and keep you both safe and happy. I want to do that, but I wouldn’t do any of this for just anyone. You think I’m a knight in shining armor but you’re wrong, Justin. I’m just a man.”

“You aren’t just any man, Brian. You’re kind, caring, and smart and you give everything you have to anyone that ever needs help. I’ve seen that. But if, if you think that I’ve worn out my welcome here with you and you don’t want me here, just say the word and I’ll go. I’ll find somewhere to go, Brian,” Justin said all of this, slowly and carefully. It felt as though he had to push out each painful word because it was so hard to get them to pass his lips.

But as he spoke Justin saw that it seemed like every one of his words was instantly lost to Brian’s ears. The man’s eyes kept getting bigger and bigger and his expression was something Justin hadn’t ever seen before. Justin gulped before he spoke his next line and then said in a tiny voice. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, Brian.”

Brian’s eyes suddenly narrowed into slits and he seemed to jump back a step as soon as Justin spoke. “Look at you, Justin! You… you think we’re friends?”

Justin’s bottom lip quivered and he struggled to nod and answer, “Yes. Don’t…don’t you, Brian?”

“Táim i ngrá leat, Dealramh no gréine, but you’re fucking nuts if you think that’s what this is about for me.You walk around me, looking like that!” Brian pointed to Justin, making the boy feel the need to cover his nearly naked body with his arms. He neared his husband and ran the tips of his fingers along the side of Justin’s jaw. “Álainn, gnéasach, déan cliúsaíocht. You really don’t know that you are, do you?”

Justin sighed his reply, “No.”

Brian backed away from Justin and started to unbutton his pants. “You walk around our home in your briefs and you think that doesn’t affect me?”

“I… I thought you said.. I was beautiful. That it didn’t bother you Brian,” he spoke in alarm. “You said…”

Brian turned away from Justin. “I never said it didn’t bother me.” He laughed sarcastically once again as he shucked his pants down his legs and stepped out of them before turning around to face Justin. The brunet was clad now, only in his navy blue boxer briefs. He palmed his hardening dick through the cotton and walked toward the blond, making the confused boy back up against the bedroom door.

Justin looked away from the brunet’s display, embarrassed at the feelings the man was causing within his own body. “Brian what are you…?”

“Do you see me, mo grá?” Brian rubbed himself a little harder, looking into Justin’s eyes.

“Yes,” Justin whispered, feeling like he should’ve left when Brian had tried making him. Now, he felt trapped and he didn’t understand why Brian was acting the way he was. He didn’t think it was his grief that was controlling his actions or adding the fuel to his words.

Brian shook his head and frowned. “No, mo grá you don’t see me. You don’t see what you do to me, everyday I’m with you. Look down and see me.”

Justin squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “No.”

“Look down, Justin,” Brian barked into Justin’s ear.

Justin’s eyes snapped open. “Okay,” he whimpered.

Brian watched as the boy lowered his head to look in between their bodies. Brian stood back, just far enough so the boy’s round stomach didn’t block his view of his groin. “You make me my dick throb for you, Justin,” Brian whispered.

The blond gasped in shock and embarrassment, but he couldn’t take his eyes off Brian’s crotch.

Brian ran his fingers over the dampness on his underwear. “Do you see now?” He slowly lowered the elastic of his shorts and pushed them down his legs. “Every night I lie in bed with you I fight this.” He tilted Justin’s blushing face up so that their eyes met. “I remind myself that friends don’t get hard from being wrapped around their friend at night. Friends don’t have the thoughts I have about you every time I see you dressed like this, or anyway for that matter. You can be wearing the ugliest outfit in the world and you still stir me up inside, Dealramh no gréine; just like the first time.” Brian’s voice lowered to a whisper as he spoke again, “Teastaím luí le chéile duit, mo grá, it’s all I think about. It’s all I’ve thought about since the morning I left you in that hotel room. Even with everything that’s happened and how painful today was, I still want it. I know how I’ve acted toward you, don’t think for a second that I didn’t know you were there for me. But… I didn’t need a friend today, Justin. I needed a partner, my husband and…that’s not who you want to be to me. Its okay, you know. I’ll learn to live with it, I have. But, that’s why I need you to leave me alone now.” Brian turned and walked back over to the large bed as he whispered, “I’ll see you in the morning, Justin.”

Justin stood, leaning against the door, rooted to his spot. He tried to process everything Brian had said to him. His heart pounded erratically and his breathing was intense and labored. He was sure he was crying, he could feel the tears falling down his face, but the feeling that overwhelmed all of that was what he experienced inside him as he watched Brian turn away from him. His eyes followed every muscle’s movement in Brian’s arms, back, ass and legs as the brunet crawled into the bed under the covers and lay on his side, not facing him.

Justin saw Brian’s shoulders start to shake and realized the man was crying once again. The blond knew that there was nothing he could do with the way their relationship was now to take any of the pain away for the man, to offer him comfort. Brian had told him that he didn’t want nor need a friend, he needed his husband.

Justin’s first step was hesitant, but the following six steps over to the bed were sure and strong. He crawled into the bed, under the covers and pressed himself up against Brian and wrapped his arms around the older man’s warm body. His own cock became hard from just a moment of contact with Brian’s body. Restrained by his briefs it press in between Brian’s soft ass cheeks, creating an electric jolt in his groin. He gasped aloud, feeling his dick release a small amount of precum and was sure Brian could feel the warm wetness against his bare skin.

“Friends don’t lie like this with each other,” Brian huskily spoke.

Justin rubbed his head against Brian’s neck, lightly kissed the man’s shoulder blade and then moved his left arm up from where it rested upon Brian’s bare stomach. He grabbed Brian’s hand and moved it out from under the duvet and rested it over Brian’s heart, twining their fingers together and rubbing their wedding rings against each other. Justin looked over Brian’s shoulder and watched as the moonlight coming in from the window made the bands shine beautifully. He put his lips near Brian’s ear and whispered. “I know, Brian.”

Brian struggled to stop the tears falling from his eyes. He was, without a doubt, an emotional mess. He’d been so scared of losing Justin because he had told him the truth, but now it didn’t seem like he was going to and he could hardly believe it. He squeezed Justin’s fingers with his and asked, “What do you know?”

“Friends don’t lie like this with one another,” Justin told him. He gripped Brian’s hand and began to slide them back down under the covers. His body vibrated with heat and uncertainty as he took Brian’s half-hard cock within their hands and held it gently.

The coolness of the metal on their rings made Brian shiver and his dick jumped in surprise, but started to fill with more blood in reaction to the heat of their hands. He gasped Justin’s name softly into the still air as he tried to wrap his head around what was happening. He hadn’t actually believed that Justin would want him as much as he wanted the blond, but he could feel the boy’s hard want against his ass and within the gentle tugs Justin boldly guided their hands to make with his cock.

“Make me your husband, Brian,” Justin said softly. “Mo grá, Teastaím luí le chéile duit.”

Brian took in a shocked breath of air when he heard Justin’s words. He turned around and looked into Justin’s blue eyes. “How did you…”

“Betsy gave me a book the day before…” he trailed off unable to speak of what had happened. “I spent the last three days reading it, trying to memorize it, for you. I wanted to know what you’ve been saying to me. I… couldn’t figure out some of the things you’ve said. But I know what that means.”

Brian nuzzled his face close to Justin’s and wrapped his arms around the blond, pulling him as close as possible to his body. He stared into Justin’s eyes as he slowly leaned in and kissed the boy’s lips.

Justin kept his eyes locked to Brian’s as they both opened their mouths and tenderly explored one another’s tastes. He pulled out of the kiss and ran his hands up into Brian’s soft auburn hair. He spoke to Brian in English, “My love, I want to make love to you.”

Brian smiled. “Your wish is my command, Duke Kinney.”

 

***
 

“Airíonn tú chomh leas, mo grá,” Brian whispered, nibbling on the shell of Justin’s ear.

Justin squeezed his legs tighter around Brian, raising his bottom up off the bed to meet the older man’s gentle thrusts into his hole. His entire body was awash with pleasure; he couldn’t even begin to process the enormity of what their making love meant to him and to Brian’s future. For the first time since he’d been with Brian in New York, he felt safe, loved and completely turned on. Their passion together overwhelmed everything else.

Brian moved his mouth down the side of Justin’s jaw, placing open mouth kisses, panting his body’s exertions into Justin’s pale, smooth skin. He loved how uninhibited Justin’s passions and pleasures were. Each of their climaxes of the night seemed to widdle away at the virginal boy Justin had been the night they first coupled.

Dawn was breaking, the early morning sun’s rays slowly bathed the room in its glow now as the Dukes were reaching for their fourth orgasm of the session, without doubt removing any claim to virginity the blond had before.

Justin scraped his fingernails down Brian’s strong back, as the brunet’s mouth latched onto his neck and started to suck and bite at him. His toes curled from the pleasure and he struggled to keep his ankles twined together and his legs wrapped around Brian’s waist as the man changed his thrusting and began to powerfully pump into his tunnel. His lips felt chapped from all the wild kisses they’d exchanged and from him exploring every part of his husband’s body. But his mouth still ached to be fused onto Brian’s gorgeous lips and he found himself begging, “Kiss me, kiss me, mo grá.”

Justin’s plea reached Brian’s ears, even through the sound of his heartbeat that seemed to be louder than anything else. He stopped his sweet torture on Justin’s neck and dragged his tongue up until his lips brushed Justin’s. He let out a groan of lustful surprise into the boy’s wet mouth as Justin’s hands moved from scratching his back, to becoming buried in his hair, pulling on it sharply.

The rhythm of their kisses changed to the desperate crescendo their grinds and thrusts of their lower bodies had begun to perform to. Brian’s cock was barely sliding out of Justin’s ass, in complete contrast to the long, slow, pushes and pulls he started with. The blond continued to tighten his muscles, barely letting his insides give up the grip they had on the dick pushing, stirring and grinding inside him. Now there was no let up on the passion and sex for either of them. Justin’s prostate was given constant pressure and Brian’s penis was tightly encased inside his lover’s firey-hot core.

They broke their kiss just in time to take in lung fills of air. Only seconds later they crashed them back onto each other’s in a bruising raw kiss as their bodies jolted with the first spasms of their long-awaited orgasms.

“Taim i' ngra leat,” Brian groaned against Justin’s mouth as his dick pulsed, shooting the last of his fluids deep into Justin’s body.

Justin felt the last of Brian’s hot seed coat the walls inside his ass, joining the many other emissions his husband had given inside of him that night. It made his own cock give out one last small spurt of cum between him and Brian’s bodies. He struggled to open his hazy eyes, but managed to lock them with Brian’s equally hazy, green eyes, just as the man pulled his spent cock out of his body. His entire body felt deliciously numb; though he was positive he’d feel sore when they awoke. It didn’t matter; he’d just had the single most amazing experience of his life.

Brian struggled to move his tired body onto his side. He was sweaty and sticky, but it felt wonderful to him. It was a reminder of their love making. He knew that he and Justin were amazing together in bed, but nothing had prepared him for the emotional and physical exploration of love and healing he’d experienced with the blond. He helped Justin turn onto his side and spooned his body up against Justin’s as he pulled the messy duvet over their naked bodies. His almost soft cock nestled itself inside Justin’s warm ass crack, threatening to become hard once again as he felt his warm seed dripping out of his husband’s body onto him.

Justin struggled to stay awake; he knew that he wanted to tell his husband so much. He wanted to ask Brian a million questions, especially about the words the man spoke to him that he still didn’t understand. He was about to open his mouth and speak when Brian’s whispering voice stopped him.

Brian held Justin tightly, their joined hands resting over the blond’s round stomach. He was sure that Justin still didn’t understand all the Irish he’d spoken, but he took a chance and whispered into his husband’s ear, “Ní fhágfaidh mise choice, Dealramh no gréine.” He didn’t expect Justin to answer him, so he closed his eyes and gave into the sleep that wanted to claim him.

Justin’s tired mind ran through all the words he’d learned as he tried to figure out what Brian’s desperate sounding plea meant. When he could not figure it out, promising to himself that he would tomorrow, he whispered back the one thing he did know he could speak clearly in Irish, “Mo grá.”

 

***
 

June 16th 2006 - New York

“How was your last day of school?” Jennifer asked her daughter.

Molly smiled. “It was great. I said goodbye to all my friends.”

Jennifer frowned. “What? Why’d you do that Molly?”

“Don’t worry Mom. They’re not going to tell anyone where we’re really going.”

“I’m not sure if we’re going anywhere quite yet,” Jennifer told her daughter. She had decided to wait and hear from Robbie if Justin was indeed still living in Ireland.

Molly gave her mother a confused look. “What, is Justin coming home now or something?”

“He may be. I wanted to wait to tell you until Robbie called me to say for sure, but I sent Robbie to Ireland to find Justin. He thinks that he…”

“Robbie!” Molly yelled. “What did you send him there for?”

“He’s your brother’s best friend, he loves Justin and he said he wants to marry him. He may be the father of Justin’s baby and he really loves him, Molly. It may be just what Justin needs.”

“Mom,” Molly cried out desperately. “Don’t you know that Robbie and Mica got married a few months ago?”

“What?” Jennifer asked, feeling faint. “What are you talking about Molly? He came by here and he told me that…”

“Whatever he told you wasn’t true, Mom!” Molly interrupted. “He’s a lying piece of shit and he hurt Justin. He might be the father of Justin’s baby, but he’s certainly not going to marry him!”

“Are you sure you’re not mistaken, Molly? He seemed sincere. He even told me that if it wasn’t his baby he’d still take care of Justin and the child.”

“That’s bullshit, Mom. He and Mica walked around school practically fused together until Graduation. I’m telling you, Mom! He’s lying. We have to go, Mom. We have to go find out what’s really going on. When was Robbie leaving?”

“He said he was leaving today. But, if we’re going to go, we’ll have to wait and tell your father we’re going to Andrea’s like we originally planned. I didn’t tell him it was called off, but our flights and everything aren’t until tomorrow.”

Molly hugged her mother. “Hopefully Justin will be okay until then.”

Jennifer hugged her daughter back and whispered, “I hope so too.”
 

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