Emerald Enchantment

Chapter One: “Luck of the Draw”

 

March 14, 2006

Justin sketched what he could see of the New York City skyline, across the river from his Great Aunt's house in New Jersey.

He missed his bedroom in the apartment in the city; he missed his mom, his little sister, his dog, and even his father, who probably did not deserve to be missed by him at all. That was still home to him though. A home where he was no longer welcome.

Justin rocked back and forth on an old creaky porch swing, enjoying the night summer breeze as it grazed over his skin. The orange glow from the light by the front screen door cast the perfect light on his beautiful drawing of the city. New York City felt like a continent away, even though he could see the buildings clearly. While he sketched it lulled himself into a rare, peaceful state of being; until loud laughing coming from inside the house startled him.

He didn’t mean to listen in on the conversation that drifted through the open window. Nevertheless, he could not help but take in the conversation. It was Auntie Eleanor’s night to host the game of bridge with the old women from the country club. They were all in their late 60's and normally Justin would have had no interest in what any of them had to say. They were the uneducated-educated rich. Or, they all had once been. All of them were almost senile now. Any grace, beauty and propriety they'd once owned had long since passed them by. They were pinched faced, fat, rude old women. Anything they usually talked about bored Justin to death, or, at least made his stomach churn.

But tonight, he could have sworn that one had said his name and so he listened in closely to the conversation that followed the high-pitched laughter.

Not hearing anything important at first, his mind drifted back to that afternoon when the women arrived at his Aunt's house. This was Justin's first time seeing any of them since he'd come to live with his Aunt. He immediately felt uncomfortable, no matter how prepared he'd become for their snotty ways. The words they spoke to him and their fake smiles made him want to vomit more than he already had that morning. He was sure that most things coming out of their mouths would not be worth ingesting and they usually weren't. But he'd forced himself to stomach the immediate greetings and waited on them, bringing each woman tea and crackers when Auntie Eleanor asked. Finally, she’d dismissed Justin and he'd retreated with his sketchbook to the porch.

Justin heard his name prick at his ears again and his thoughts returned to the present time. He stopped his swinging completely. He reasoned to himself that he wasn't being impolite by listening. He figured that if they were talking about him, he was entitled to eavesdrop. Now, Justin could care less about the waspy manners his parents and Private Academy schooling had instilled into him.

“Well, Eleanor, no one would blame you one bit if you shipped him out. I mean, what do you want with a teenager?”

He recognized Mrs. Burtch's voice talking with a roaring laugh to her tone.

“Let alone...” said Mrs. Clarence.

“I know. Don't remind me,” Eleanor interrupted. She was very good at that. “Now, I have already made my decision. I don't wish to discuss the little tramp with you ladies,” Eleanor said haughtily. “We have much more important things to discuss.”

The women made hushing noises and cackled for a few minutes.

Eleanor cleared her throat and asked, “Now who won last week?”

Silent tears poured down Justin's face. Listening to the strangers talk about him and his life as though he were nothing more than a tramp made him feel sorry for snooping. They regarded him as less deserving of life, regarded his child as such, and thought of him as less than human.

Really though, it was women like them, who were the inhuman ones.

It was painful, but he kept listening anyway. The conversation once again drifted toward his life. They were talking about what they all thought his future held. None of the words they spoke held any promise for Justin but the young boy could barely think what they were saying held any falsities.

Six months ago, Justin’s future had seemed so certain and bright. Even if that future was also one that his mother and father had decided for him. Two months ago, it all came crashing down around him.

Ironically when he made his own decisions, he had, in fact, royally fucked up his entire life. Yet in a way, he still did not regret those decisions.

 

***
 

October 29, 2005

Robbie and Justin had been dating for a little over six months. It was senior year and Justin was constantly pressured about when he would finally give up his virginity and allow Robbie to fuck him.

Justin told his parents that he was staying at a friend’s house after the dance. He borrowed his dad's credit card to pay for a hotel room. He was going to surprise Robbie. Justin decided that after the Halloween dance he would finally have sex with his boyfriend.

The upcoming night stressed Justin out. All day he prepared himself and planned for the night to come. When everything was perfect, he left his hotel room looking like a sexy Draco Malfoy.

Robbie was supposed to be there dressed as Harry Potter; Justin thought that he looked a lot like Daniel Radcliffe. A few weeks ago, he had to beg Robbie to dress up as the famed wizard because Robbie thought that liking Harry Potter was beneath him. After Justin had given his boyfriend an amazing blowjob, Robbie had finally agreed. Justin bought their costumes and had even tried his on a few times before that night. He wanted everything to be perfect and wanted to make sure that he looked great in his clothes; clothes he would be taking off with the intent of losing his virginity a short time after.

When Justin arrived at the party hall, it took him nearly a half hour to find Robbie amongst the huge crowd of students. The students packed into every available space in the hall. Everyone he asked about Robbie’s whereabouts seemed completely aloof and had no answer for Justin.

Justin continued to search for his boyfriend, all the while texting him and receiving no message in return. Finally, one of the students Justin knew as one of Robbie’s friends was able to direct Justin to where she’d last seen his boyfriend.

Justin stopped in his tracks at the sight of his boyfriend once he found him. Robbie was dressed as Peter Pan and making out with Wendy in a secluded corner.

“What are you doing, Robbie?” Justin yelled as he marched over to them. Of course, he knew what they were doing but he just couldn’t believe what he’d seen.

Peter and Wendy, a.k.a. Robbie and Mica Jacobs who was captain of the cheerleading squad, broke apart. Mica gave him an evil smirk as Robbie narrowed his cool blue eyes at him and spoke, “We're done Justin.”

“What do you mean?” Justin asked, shaking inside as he tried to hold back his tears and process the situation before him.

“Look, it was fun, Justin. But let’s face it, we weren’t going anywhere,” Robbie replied tersely.

“B...B...but, I was going to… tonight... I thought...you loved...you... and her?” Justin could not speak a full sentence; his mind was racing from the shock of Robbie’s betrayal. Not only was Robbie cheating on him, but he was also telling him that they were over, because of a girl! Justin could hardly believe that was possible.

“Look, Justin,” Mica spoke snidely. “Robbie just does not feel that way about you. You knew he was bisexual. How long did you really think he would wait before finding someone that appreciated him and give him what he really needs? I can't believe a gorgeous thing like him had to wait so long.” Mica started to giggle as she rubbed her hands along Robbie’s chest.

Justin's heart raced and tears fell down his cheeks in quick torrents. He could not believe that Robbie had been cheating on him! He didn't want to believe it. But he had to; it was sickeningly right in front of his face. “You're both sluts!” Justin yelled. He draped his cape to hide the tears on his face while he made his way through the crowd, running out of the dance hall.

By the time he walked the twelve blocks to the hotel he had rented, he had calmed down bit. He felt like a complete fool, but he was glad that he had not been a bigger one and given himself to Robbie previously. After working out what had happened in his head, he felt a sense of relief, though his heart was still breaking a little bit.

When he got to his room, he realized that it was still early, only 8:30. He wanted to veg out and hoped the shops down in the lobby were open. He could really use a new pack of smokes and some munchies since he'd smoked his last two on the walk home and hadn't eaten since breakfast because of his nervousness.

Justin was in luck as he reached the lobby area and saw the shops were still open. He decided upon a pint of chocolate milk, his cigarettes and a bag of fun-yuns.

Justin was browsing the aisles and nearing the register when he heard someone yelling at the clerk.

“What the fuck da ya mean you won't take a fucking credit card after eight o’clock?”

Justin immediately loved the Irish accent in the man’s voice, even if it was speaking in anger.

“I'm sorry sir. That is our policy. If you have cash or a personal check issued from this state, that would be fine,” the clerk’s voice seemed very rude.

“I don’t suppose you have a Bank of Ireland here?” The man laughed sarcastically and shoved his hands into his pockets and grumbled, “Bastard.”

Justin saw the geeky looking employee smirk at the tall man as he put his purchases beside the angry customer. When he looked up toward the man, his breath caught.

The Irishman was a fucking GOD! He had dark auburn hair and piercing hazel eyes and the most beautiful face; Justin had never seen someone so perfect.

“Ya have a problem there, boy?” the man asked him, the green eyes burned into Justin's blue gaze.

Justin felt his heart leap and race; the Irish accent was just too sexy. “N...no. I don't.” Justin looked to the counter. He saw that all the man was trying to buy was the pack of Marlboro lights on the counter. “But I guess you do. How ‘bout I buy those for you? I have some cash and if you want to, you can write me a check for them.”

The gorgeous man eyed Justin for a moment before smiling. “My check book is up stairs. I’ll pay ya back. I just figured they'd take the card. I don’t usually carry American dollars on me.”

Justin managed a nervous laugh, “It's no trouble. I am going up after I buy this anyway. I can follow you up.” Realizing how forward that sounded Justin immediately began to back track. “But, I don't mind just paying for them. I need a pack myself and this stuff,” he told the clerk who began to ring up his items.

“No, I'd feel much better if I could pay ya for them. Fuckin’ fags cost a mint here in the States.”

“Okay then, I'll follow you up. What floor are you on?” Justin asked as the clerk gave him his sack of purchases.

“The Penthouse,” the Irishman told him.

Justin smiled as they made their way to the lobby of elevators, happy to be walking next to someone who was so beautiful. The man must have been rich too, not that Justin cared about money. He liked nice things but he was not obsessed with obtaining them the way his family and friends were. He knew though that it cost a grand a night to stay in the Penthouse. His parents often roomed there when they were having one of their frequent remodeling of their apartment, so the man had to have some decent cash.

“Are you staying here long?” Justin asked, wanting to know more about this slightly older, charming man.

“Leave tomorrow morning,” the man replied and gave Justin a smile. “S’shame though.”

 

****
 

March 14, 2006

Justin’s family was deciding his future. However, it was all still so elusive. He had brought the family shame and he was being coerced into sitting back quietly while they continued in the good graces of their country club, high-class group. Justin had no idea what he was going to do tomorrow let alone in a few more months. He hated that his family seemed to have all the answers when he had none. He knew it should not be this way.

“Now, El, don't leave us hanging,” Justin heard one of the women giggle.

“Oh, alright, just don't go gossiping about it until it's done. I don't need any more bad attention brought on my family.”

“Oh, Eleanor, it's not your fault your dear brother raised, and I use that term lightly, a lunatic son who in turn raised well, how should I say this, a...”

“Ruth, that's enough,” Eleanor interrupted the old bitter woman. “He is still my family, even if he has strayed away from our family’s ideals. If I completely abandon him then I will be no different from my nephew.” She then said in a lighter tone, “So back to the matter at hand, a friend of his mother's has expressed interest in the boy. She has two kids of her own. She had been rather close to Jen and the family when Justin was younger but now lives in Paris. We are going to discuss the particulars tonight over the phone and then with the boy when the time comes. If I have anything to do with it, he will be staying with them. Far, far, away from here.”

“But what will happen once the bastard child is born?” Ruth asked.

“Justin will of course leave the child with that family and continue with his education.”

Justin felt his stomach churning. He could not believe that his mother would truly arrange for something like that to happen. He wanted to keep the baby. Justin knew that it would be hard, but he planned to keep his child and would do whatever it took to make that happen.

“Well that’s one way to take care of the problem,” Mrs. Burtch laughed.

The problem? Justin thought. They’re talking about my baby as if it isn’t a living thing, a part of me! He took deep breaths and tried to calm himself down, his hand protectively rubbed at his stomach. “I won’t let that happen to us, baby. I promise. I’ll keep you; I’ll make sure of it.”

“It’s the best thing for all of us,” Eleanor told the women. “I’ll make sure Jennifer sees my point when we have our chat."

Justin felt anger boil up from the pit of his stomach. His entire body was shaking, he felt the tell tale spit climbing up the back of his throat, signaling him that he was minutes away from being sick. He threw the sketchpad off his lap and stood up. He turned and gripped the fencing on the deck as the spasms started and he emptied his stomach, right onto Eleanor’s prized roses.

Justin rested his head on the cool wood railing as he got his body under control. Though, the world around him was starting to spin and he felt light headed. He could not control that, just as he could not control the fact that almost nothing he had eaten that day had stayed down. The morning sickness had passed almost two months prior, but it had sprung up, wreaking havoc nearly all day for the last two weeks. He was scared, constantly scared and his stomach seemed to always be in knots ever since he told his parents he was pregnant.

Justin took a few more deep slow breaths and once he got himself together, he silently walked into the house and went into the bathroom, used the toilet and then brushed his teeth. When Justin stared at his reflection in the mirror, he saw that the dark circles under his eyes had become much more noticeable in the two weeks since he had been living at Eleanor’s house. He was becoming physically ill in many different ways from all the stress he was under.

Justin walked back into his bedroom and sat down heavily on the firm, uncomfortable mattress. He let out a long deep sigh and felt his emotions starting to get the better of him as his eyes began to tear up. He successfully fought them off as he crawled under the covers into the bed. The stress was causing him to be sick, but also to lose weight and feel lethargic all day long. He even had a hard time sleeping at night, getting maybe a few good hours of rest. The remainder of the night, he tossed and turned with nightmares and memories.

This place isn’t good for us, he thought, rubbing his small belly. But we will be gone from all this soon. When we are, I’ll take better care of the both of us, Justin promised silently to his child and fell into an exhaustion prompted fitful sleep.

 

XXXXX

Chapter Two: “Introductions and Endings”

 

October 29, 2005

“You sure you want this?”

Justin nodded his head in answer and whispered, “Yes.”

Over the last six hours, he and the Irishman had talked about everything in their lives, with the exception of the topic of sex. That issue they both avoided talking about, surprisingly.

However, Justin knew from the minute the Irishman invited him into his room that he would end up, underneath the gorgeous man’s body, eager to dispose of his virginity and become an experienced sexual man.

“Here, put the condom on me,” the man told Justin, kneeling beside his shoulder, one hand running through his blond hair.

Justin could not resist pumping the man’s cock a few times, wanting to memorize what a man’s dick felt like. Robbie’s exceptionally small penis had nothing on the huge, perfect erection the Irishman sported. He turned his head and reached his tongue out to lick the head of the cock as the foreskin retracted each time he pulled on the dick. He tasted delicious to Justin and he kept lapping at the tip over and over to receive more pre-come that flowed from the tip.

“Enough,” the Irishman spoke gruffly, playfully pushing Justin’s head away from him.

Justin looked up and smiled at the man, happy that he’d given the man so much pleasure by just licking him that he felt the need to hurry things along. He rolled the latex down over the large, pulsing erection and played his fingers in the auburn pubes as he awaited the next instructions.

“Lie back, mo grá,” the man whispered. He gently pushed Justin down onto his back and moved between his thighs.

Justin stared into the hazel eyes as his legs were placed onto the man’s sculpted shoulders. His heartbeat quickened when he felt the press of the lubed penis touch his entrance. A slight pause and then pressure led to pain radiating from his insides causing him to cry out and squeeze his eyes shut. Justin felt even more pressure as the cock slid slowly inside of him. He fisted the sheets underneath him as his hole stretched and shifted around the cock invading his tight welcoming body.

“Relax, it’s only going to hurt for a few minutes, I promise. Then it’s going to feel so good,” the man vowed. He draped himself over and whispered into his ear, “Mo, maighdean.”

Justin moaned, feeling both pain and pleasure ebb and flow through his entire body. He didn’t know that sex could feel so good and so bad at the same time, no matter how hard he’d tried to prepare himself for it. His eyes, filled with wonder opened and landed on the auburn man looming over him.

“Airíonn tú chomh leas, mo ghrá geal,” the man spoke in Irish again.

“What?” Justin whispered.

“You feel so good, my bright love,” the Irish man replied for clarification as he bent down to kiss the blond.

Justin lost himself in the kiss that soon turned into much more.

 

***
 

March 14, 2006

Justin awoke from the nice flashback/dream he was having to the sound of voices and the sun beaming into his temporary room’s windows. He could hear Eleanor speaking and then he heard his mother’s voice.

“Mom?” Justin whispered aloud, confused as to why his mother was in New Jersey today. Hope started to take root in his heart as he forgot about the words he had heard when he’d eavesdropped. “I’ll do whatever I have to,” he spoke quietly to the baby.

She’s come to take me back home, he thought excitedly. I’ll apologize for talking rudely to them and promise them that I’ll do whatever it is they ask, as long as I can keep my baby and go home. I don’t care if it’s them that should be apologizing, I have to do what I can to get out of Eleanor’s house!

Quickly, Justin went to his drawers and pulled out his nicest pair of khaki dress slacks. It was a bit of a struggle getting them to zip so he opted to fold the material in to keep them up. He found one of the larger blue t-shirts he owned and slipped into it. He then calmly opened his bedroom door and made his way to the den room.

"Justin, you're awake," Eleanor said surprised, as she and Jennifer stood up from the couch.

Justin just stared at his mother and she stared back at him, giving her son an ‘almost’ smile. Neither one knew what to say; both of them held back the urge to rush into the other's arms frantically.

Jennifer could tell by the looks of her son that in the time he had been living in New Jersey he had lost weight and had obviously not been getting enough rest. He was not doing well in Aunt Eleanor’s home. Since Craig would not allow Justin to live at home with them, fearing for his safety, Jennifer had had no choice but to send him with Eleanor until she could find another way to help him. She was glad that she now had another alternative, one that she hoped would be better for Justin.

"Good Morning," Justin finally managed to speak.

"Hello sweetheart," Jen said with a guilty smile. She walked toward him and kissed his cheek before leaning back to take in his appearance. “Oh honey, you should really tuck in your shirt. What have I told you about looking presentable as often as you can?" She then proceeded to lift her son's shirt and do it for him.

“No, Mom,” Justin's hand went over his mother’s to stop her but it was too late.

"Justin! You... you're... you have a belly already," Jennifer said in awe as she looked at the bump of a tummy her normally thin son had developed. It was her first look at Justin’s stomach and the image of it made her realize that everything that was happening was real and wasn’t going to stop with just her solution to help. Her little boy was going to have a baby and there would be a lot more to help him with very soon.

Justin pulled his shirt back down, embarrassed by his mother’s gaze. "The doctor said that I’ll really start to grow this month,” he told her, referring to the appointment he’d had the day before. “They even gave me a picture of the baby this time. Do you want to see it?" he asked hopefully.

Justin had known that because he was unmarried, his pregnancy unplanned, and that he would be telling his parents he did not know who the father was, would make telling his parents he was pregnant, horrible. He did not expect it to be as bad as it turned out to be.

However, from the beginning he knew that there was no changing it. He had waited until he was almost four months along to tell his mom and dad, knowing that by then it would be too late for them to suggest an abortion. For even though he had made a mistake, and he was terrified of having a child at his age, alone, he was elated at the idea of meeting his baby for the first time.

It had surprised him how cold his mother and father had been. Then their cold shock turned to anger and Craig spewed some of the harshest words he’d ever uttered to Justin. They asked if the child was Robbie’s, but Justin told them it was not Robbie’s child, he told them that he’d had sex with a number of men around the time of his conception and that he had not been with Robbie. If he had not told his parents that, they would have called Robbie’s parents and demanded they marry.

The last thing Justin wanted was to have a shotgun wedding and marry a boy who did not even want a child. Even if Robbie was the other father, Justin knew that his parent’s marriage was a marriage of convenience, not of love. He couldn’t bear to fall victim to that same fate. He would rather raise the baby by himself. He believed that Robbie was only in shock and it would be only a matter of time before they would once again be back together.

"Oh, Justin, don't be bothering your mother with such things. We have a lot of important matters to discuss today," Eleanor told him unkindly.

Justin frowned and sighed. He realized that it would be a long time, if ever, until anyone besides himself got excited about his pregnancy and his baby.

Jennifer put her hand on her son's growing stomach for just a moment. “Go get that picture, Justin. I would love to see the first images of my grandchild. After that, we will have to talk," she told him smiling a little.

Justin's face turned into a beaming smile and he nearly ran to his room. He quickly found the photo his doctor had printed of his sonogram tucked within the drawer of his nightstand. When he returned to the den, he ignored the agitated look Eleanor sent his way and sat beside his mother on the sofa. “Here, look Mom, it’s amazing.”

Jennifer took the photos and studied them. Justin leaned over and started to point at the black and white image. "You see, right there is my baby’s heart," Justin started to explain all the parts visible in the pictures of the small fetus. Jennifer listened intently, happy that her son seemed so happy when the last time she had seen him he had been so utterly sad.

When the last part of the baby’s first picture had been explained, Eleanor jumped into the conversation, "Jen, I think it's time we talk to your son and tell him what we have decided."

Jennifer gave Justin back the pictures and took a deep breath. “Justin, your father and I, and your Aunt Eleanor have all decided that it would be best for you to stay with your Godmother Andrea in Paris.”

“During the remainder of your pregnancy,” Eleanor clarified with finality.

Justin felt like his heart was being torn from his chest. His family, his mother was sending him away just as Eleanor had said! Once again his mother was trying to get rid of him. Except this time, it would be further and more permanent. He could tell that his mother was still talking but when he looked at her, he felt such hatred toward the woman. This wasn't best for him or his baby! It was what was best for them. None of them could care less about him. They just wanted his mistake out of their perfect lives.

"Justin, did you hear you're mother?" Eleanor asked.

Justin smiled politely. “Yes, I understand," he tried to make his voice stay calm. This would be the last time he heard anything any of them had to say. “When do I leave?" he asked.

Jennifer stared at her son in surprise. She could not believe her child wasn't going to fight this. She had hoped he would so it would give her an out to buy more time that might be used to figure out a plan to keep Justin close to her, so she could help him though everything! "You want to go, Justin?" she asked.

Justin felt himself recoil on the inside but told her with a smile. “If it's far away from here," away from you, he thought, "and if you think it's for the best," for you, "then I'm sure I will be just fine."

Jennifer smiled and thought that maybe that was for the best. She had faith that her best friend Andrea, Justin's godmother, would take good care of her child. Now that it sounded as though her son was willing to go, it set her mind at ease. “Your father and I have packed your things from home, you'll take an afternoon flight tomorrow. That will give you enough time to pack your things from here, won't it?"

Justin stood up from his seat and nodded at his mother, pasting a smile on his face. "Sure, I'll get started now."`

Jennifer tried to stand and reach out to hug Justin, but her son did not notice.

Eleanor however gave her a stern look and told her, “You shouldn’t encourage him.”

 

***
 

March 15, 2006

Justin boarded the airplane and was shown to his seat by a flight attendant. This was the first time flying alone without his mother and father beside him. He was a little nervous. Then again, he wasn’t exactly alone.

"If you need anything at all, be sure and let us know, okay?" the redheaded flight attendant asked, smiling at him.

"Thank you. I think I'm just going to go to sleep, but do you think you can wake me when the first meal time comes?"

"I sure will, would you care for a pillow and blanket? Your seat will also recline for you with a foot rest if you would like that," she pointed at the buttons on the side panel next to the window.

Justin smiled widely. First class in a Jet was the way to fly. He was glad his mom and dad had arranged first class seating. He was even more happy that he’d taken two years of drama class. He replayed the last conversation he had with his mother in his head.

 

***
 

“Mom, please. I’ll be fine. It would be too hard for me if you came into the terminal for us to say our goodbyes,” Justin said tearfully.

“What do you mean? I have to at least help you with all your luggage,” Jennifer said worriedly.

“I’ll get an attendant, Mom,” Justin looked around the parking space to find one.

“Are you sure, Justin?” Jennifer asked, her eyes tear-filled.

“I’m sure Mom,” Justin said. “It has to be this way.”

Jennifer took Justin into her arms, hugged and kissed him. “Call me as soon as you land.”

“I will, Mom. Goodbye.” Justin felt his real emotions surfacing as he hugged and kissed his mother one last time.

 

***
 

Justin put his hand over his stomach and drifted off into the first peaceful slumber he’d had in a long time.

XXXXX

Chapter Three: “My Child”

 

Sunday, October 30, 2005

“Mmm….” Justin sighed as he stretched his sore body, awakening from sleep. As he opened his eyes, the previous night’s events started to flicker through his brain, causing him to smile.

He looked at the empty spot in the bed beside him and sighed. He and his lover had talked and Justin knew that a relationship could not come from their sex. They lived on different continents for one thing, and Justin would still be in school until the end of December and would be going to University that coming January. Besides, Justin could admit that he still had feelings for Robbie and was not ready to move on.

The blond knew that the Irishman had to leave early that morning, only two hours after their last round of sex. So Justin had not expected the man to be lying beside him when he awoke. He was surprised however, when he saw an envelope with his name on it resting on what had been his lover’s pillow. Justin thought the envelope probably contained the check the man had promised him for the pack of smokes. Even though Justin had tried to assure him that, he did not really need the cash.

He sat up, felt a slight burn in his ass as he did, and looked over at the bedside clock. It was already eight in the morning and he wanted to take advantage of the nice Jacuzzi bathtub the hotel offered. However, he also wanted to put on some clean clothes afterwards. So Justin quickly gathered his clothes and dressed sloppily. He grabbed the envelope; put it in his pants pocket and left the penthouse suite.

Once Justin got into his room, he went directly to the bathroom and started to fill the tub. He shucked off his clothing and stepped into the hot water. He luxuriated in the wonderful feel of the jets that immediately began to alleviate his sore inner and outer body.

After about an hour, he climbed out and put the blue fluffy hotel robe on. Before he could begin to dress, he heard a loud knock on his door. He figured that it was probably someone knocking on the wrong door. However, when he looked through the peephole he was taken a-back.

It was Robbie.

“Justin, please its Robbie, open the door,” he heard the man quietly beg from the other side.

Justin considered not answering it, but when Robbie started to knock, again he remembered all of the things he had learned last night, took a deep breath, and opened the door. Ready to stand his ground. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” Robbie asked his eyes downcast.

Justin sighed. “How the fuck did you even know I was here?”

“You told me you were thinking about renting a hotel room, Justin. I asked the front desk where your room was. Your parents always stay here so I kinda figured….”

“What are you doing here?” Justin repeated in a strong agitated voice.

“I wanted to see you, Justin,” Robbie told him.

Justin let out a deep sigh and stepped back, allowing the boy to enter the room. “You’ve got two fucking minutes, Robert.” Justin delighted in seeing the boy cringe when he used his full name. He closed the door behind him and then gestured for the dark haired boy to sit down on the bed he had not been sleeping in the night before.

Robbie sat down and looked up at Justin. “I made a huge fucking mistake, Justin. I really did. You were not only my boyfriend but my best friend too. I am so fucking sorry for what I did.”

Justin crossed his arms over his chest. “Right. So that is supposed to make up for you cheating on me and embarrassing me in front of the entire Academy, oh and telling Mica Jacobs that I wouldn’t fuck you?”

Robbie stood up and tried to take Justin in his arms but the blond backed away. “Please, Justin. I really am sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Ah, no… that seems to be the way you were thinking, Robbie,” Justin spat.

“No! Look, Justin!” Robbie got down on his knees. “I didn’t do anything with Mica.”

“What? You mean that slut wouldn’t fuck you?” Justin started to pace the floor in front of Robbie.

Robbie remained on his knees, his face full of regret and defeat. “I couldn’t do it. We went back to her hotel room and I just could not bring myself to do it. All I kept thinking was that I wished it was you under me, not her.”

Justin stopped his pacing and looked down at Robbie. “So this about you wanting to fuck me then?”

Robbie stood up. “No. I do not want to fuck you… I mean yes, I want to have sex with you. But, I want to make love with you, Justin.”

Justin eyed Robbie up and down and stared into the boy’s eyes. “You really hurt me.”

“I know I did. I wish there was some way I could make it up to you, Justin.” This time when Robbie took Justin in his arms the blond boy allowed the contact. “I really do love you. I do not want to be with anyone else. I just want to be with you.”

Justin put his head on Robbie’s chest and let himself calm down as he felt the boy rubbing circles on his back. This was the Robbie he knew and loved. The gentle, caring friend he usually was to him. “You really didn’t sleep with her?”

“No, I didn’t, and I want you back, Justin,” Robbie pleaded. “Can you forgive me?”

Justin sighed and looked up at the other boy, he seemed so sincere, and Justin would be lying if he said he did not want to be with Robbie. “You really mean it?”

“Yes.” Robbie took Justin’s face in his hands and slowly leaned in to kiss him. “I love you, Justin,” he said after lightly kissing him.

Justin’s heart leapt. “I love you too, Robbie.”

Both of the boys began to kiss passionately and soon, Justin was on his back on the bed. “Wait… we have to use a condom.”

“What? You’re not on birth control?” Robbie asked him.

Justin sighed out, “No.” He rolled out from under Robbie, grabbed a condom and the lube from his bag, and handed the supplies to his boyfriend.

Once Justin was prepared, Robbie took his time sliding into Justin’s body. He was surprised at how easily Justin was able to take him, though; his cock was not that large he still thought he would see the boy wince in pain a lot more than he had. The first time his ex-boyfriend fucked him, it had been very painful. “Do you have a dildo?”

Justin looked up at Robbie, wondering why he was asking him such a question. “What?”

Robbie moved his cock out and then pushed back in, causing Justin to moan. “Do you have a dildo, Justin? Do you play with your ass?”

Justin blushed, but then realized why Robbie was asking that. He could probably tell that he was not a virgin. “Yeah.” He had fingered himself a few times, but he was lying about the dildo.

Robbie smirked. “That’s fucking hot.” He started to thrust harder and quicker. “You playing with yourself.”

Justin wrapped his legs tighter around Robbie’s waist as the boy set a very fast pace of thrusting inside of him, it did hurt a little as he was sore from the previous night but he was happy to see the look of bliss on Robbie’s face as he fucked him.

“Touch yourself, Justin,” the boy commanded him.

Justin grabbed his semi-hard dick and stroked it quickly as Robbie pounded into him. The fuck was definitely not as intense or pleasurable as the ones he had gotten from the Irishman; however, he knew that skill probably came with age and experience. Also, Robbie’s dick couldn’t reach the places deep inside of Justin that he’d learned to love to be stroked.

He definitely needed to jerk himself to hardness and completion, no matter what angle Robbie tried it did not seem to hit Justin’s prostate. Though Justin liked the feeling of his boyfriend’s dick sliding in and out of him because it made him feel so much closer to Robbie than he ever had before, something about it did not feel right.

“Uh yeah, fuck….fuck, Justin. I’m gonna come now,” Robbie, said, his eyes closed, face screwed up with pleasure.

Justin closed his own eyes and stroked himself faster and faster, he knew that if he came first his ass muscles clenching around Robbie’s penis would heighten his boyfriend’s orgasm. The Irishman had taught him that. He moaned and panted as he felt his balls drawing up and he hunched himself onto Robbie’s cock, meeting the fast thrusts. He soon found himself exploding into orgasm.

Robbie felt Justin’s ass tighten and the added stimulation brought him to climax. He pounded inside the blond as he groaned and released himself, falling with out a care onto Justin.

Justin grunted as his boyfriend fell heavily on top of his body. He opened his eyes as the pleasure of his orgasm started to leave his body and his natural feelings came back. Robbie was heavy and his chin was digging into his chest. Justin’s ass hurt, more than before and his insides felt funny. He dropped his legs and pushed Robbie’s shoulder’s. “Robbie, you’re heavy.”

Robbie groaned and opened his eyes. “That was so hot, Justin.”

Justin gave him a half-smile. Something was not feeling right. His ass hurt, but there was a feeling of heated wetness inside him. Had Robbie torn him? Was he bleeding? “Robbie, can you please move?” he asked with worry.

“Sure, babe,” Robbie said and started to pull out.

Justin reached down to hold the condom onto Robbie’s dick. As the boy pulled out of him, he groaned in pain and then gasped in shock. “Robbie the fucking condom broke!” Justin sat up and pulled off the split condom from Robbie’s softening cock.

“What are you talking about, Justin?” Robbie rubbed his face and then looked at the condom.

Justin was trembling. “You… you don’t have anything do you?”

“Of course not!” Robbie spat. “How could you ask me that?”

“Because this fucking condom broke, Robbie!” Justin reached behind him, touched his hole, and felt the slick substance there. His hands shook as he brought his fingers in front of him. “There’s cum inside me!”

“Calm down, Justin,” Robbie told him. “It’s okay.”

Justin jumped up from the bed and ran for the bathroom, turning on the shower. “It’s not okay!”

Robbie followed the blond into the bathroom. “Calm down, Justin.”

Justin jumped into the shower and began furiously washing himself. “I don’t want to get pregnant, Robbie!” He had tears falling down his face, blurring his vision as he forced fingers full of sudsy soap up his sore entrance. The soap stung his insides but Justin was hoping that it would clear away any of the sperm.

“Calm down, you know they say you can’t get pregnant your first time,” Robbie said dumbly standing outside the shower stall.

Justin’s face went white. “That isn’t true you idiot.” If it was, it did not matter, since it was not his first time anyway.

“You’re calling me an idiot?” Robbie yelled above the spray. “Fuck you, Justin! You’re the one that gave me that condom.”

Justin cried and sunk down into the shower. “My parent’s are going to kill me.”

“You’re parent’s don’t have to know! Go take the morning after pill or something,” Robbie yelled as he paced the small bathroom.

“Fine!” Justin yelled. “I will, but that doesn’t always work you know! What am I going to do then?”

“You know what? This is fucked, you are really freaking out about this. You probably aren’t even going to get pregnant!”

“Shut up, Robbie,” Justin sobbed putting his face in his hands.

“Justin! Stop acting like this. If that doesn’t work than you can get an abortion,” Robbie told him.

Justin shook his head. “I couldn’t do that. It would be my baby and yours.”

“What? So now you want to be pregnant? What is the matter with you? Get up and get dressed and we’ll go get that pill at the drugstore.”

Justin stood up and shut off the water; he got out and wrapped a towel around himself. “I don’t want to be pregnant, Robbie, but you could try to be more sensitive about this. It’s my body that it will happen too!”

“I’m trying to be logical! But if you don’t want that then I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here!” Robbie walked angrily out of the bathroom and started to gather his clothing.

“Where are you going?” Justin asked following him, tears still falling from his blue eyes.

“I’m getting out of here! This was a mistake.” Robbie fixed his clothing and started for the door.

“What do you mean?” Justin cried following the boy.

“You and I are a mistake. I should not have come here this morning. You are too immature, Justin. You freak out about everything, you’re a control freak just like your parents and I cannot be with someone like that.”

“You can’t mean that!” Justin yelled. “What if I am pregnant?”

“Go take that fucking pill and then, if you are you can tell me and we’ll figure out what to do. But for right now, I do not want to see you. Do not fucking show up at school and stalk me and don’t fucking call me!” Robbie opened the door and then disappeared behind it, slamming it in Justin’s face.

Justin stood shocked still staring at the closed door as his mind raced. He could not believe that Robbie had just fucked him, possibly gotten him pregnant and walked out on him. He had to do what Robbie said, he had to get to the drugstore and buy the morning after pill before his entire life was fucked up even more than it was!

As quickly as Justin could he got himself dressed and packed the rest of his things. He was pushing his jeans into his backpack when he felt something crinkle in the pocket. Remembering it was the envelope the Irishman had left him he dug it out and opened it.

There was a check inside, made out to him for ten dollars. But, there was also a business card, and a letter written on stationery that was not the hotel's.


Good morning, Justin, I hope you slept well. If you are reading this, I am probably off back to Ireland. I thought about waking you up to say our goodbyes but I would rather think of you as beautiful as you are, lying naked beside me as I write this.

The sun is just coming up and its rays are just barely touching your soft skin. Your hair is sparkling in it and I am glad that me running my fingers through it has not awaken you. I know you need your sleep; we definitely wore each other out last night, and into this morning. I will probably sleep the entire ride on the jet home.

I wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed meeting you, and I’m not just talking about when we made love, though that was wonderful too. I had a great time talking to you and I hope that you will soon feel better after your break up with your boyfriend. He did not deserve such a kind, smart and passionate man such as you. If you still love him, as I am sure you do, then I am sure getting over him will take some time.

Know that, if you are sad, the world will be lesser for the times it is robbed of your smile. I am writing to you an old Irish poem, perhaps it will give you comfort to know that whatever you may be feeling now, someone else too, has been there.
“Mairg darab galar an grádh” By: Isibeul ní Mhic Cailín. I will take pity upon you and give you the English translation Justin.

Love is a sad sickness -- When speaking to him, whatever the cause, it is a hardship to separate after time together. Pity my own blood's case. -- This love of mine came without knowledge; my benefits came over him without mention. For us delay departure an hour, if my flower would, till a time of pity and fear. This man of mine -- love came, for him, and I cannot say from what direction; though buried, it's myself in pain, till I burn myself with a hundred sorrows again.

I know that it is not a truly happy poem, but there are others I would write to bring you comfort if I could. Maybe you will become inspired and pick up an Irish poetry book on your way home this morning. Or maybe you will think I am silly. Reading Irish poetry is one of my secret passions. I wonder how many secrets about myself I have now shared with you and no one else? I hope you never forget them, or forget any of my advice, even if you are not ready take it, Mo grá. I know that you are a strong person. I think that is what I liked most about you. Remember, you will make it through your heart’s pain. I have faith in you.

Either way, I want to tell you thank you for giving me what you did last night. I know that we arranged it that we would not try for a long-distance relationship, or friendship. Nevertheless, I want you to know that if you ever find yourself in Ireland to give me a call. Or, in any case, if you ever need anything at all I am here for you. I have put one of my business cards inside the envelope just in case; even years from now that situation may come to head.

What is it you dared to call me? Ah, yes, I remember. I remember everything, perfectly.

Later, Justin,

Your silly Irish man.

Justin finished reading the words and felt strength come pouring back into him. He had to get his emotions in check and think about what he was going to do. He had to do what Brian had told him the day before; he had to take control of his life. First, he would go to the drugstore and get the pill. Next, well next he would figure out what to do next.

Justin gathered his things and left the hotel. However, just as he exited he was stopped in his footsteps as he saw his mother and father walking up to the front entrance.

“Justin!” his father growled.

Justin wondered if the day could get worse.

His parent’s approached him. “You’re coming home now,” his father, said. “We’re not going to discuss this on the street.”

Justin rolled his eyes but kept quiet.

“Come get in the car,” his mother told him, taking his arm.

Justin groaned but walked to the car, once inside he put his head in his hands.

“What were you thinking using my credit card to reserve the room?” Craig asked him.

Justin opened his mouth to apologize but his father cut him off.

“I don’t want to hear your lies. You’ve been acting weird for weeks, Justin,” Craig yelled as he drove through the city streets. “You can’t just go stealing things to get what you want.”

“I only used it to reserve it,” Justin protested. “I paid with my own money.”

“You obviously aren’t getting the point here. You lied to us. Which means, you aren’t going to have the opportunity to lie to us again,” Craig told him.

“What are you talking about?” Justin asked with a quiver to his voice.

“You’re grounded to the house and will only go to school. Your mother will have John drive you,” Craig told him.

Justin groaned. He hated his mother’s driver. He was creepy and Justin preferred to walk to school. Fuck, if he couldn’t go anywhere than that meant he wouldn’t be able to go to the drug store and get the morning after pill. “Dad, no please… I’m sorry. I won’t do something like this again. You can’t just keep me locked away.”

“Really, Craig he…” Jennifer started to defend her son.

“Do you want him to turn into a juvenile delinquent Jen?” Craig snapped.

“No, of course not. Justin made a mistake…”

“And he won’t make it again. He’s grounded until I can believe he acts like a real man and respects me.”

“Fuck!” Justin said, causing his parents to glare at him. He was in deep shit trouble.

***
 

March 17, 2006

“Excuse me,” Justin said, approaching the airport’s arrival help desk.

“Yes?” the woman behind the counter asked smiling at him.

“I am in need of a luggage carrier, not a very big one. Just large enough to carry three suitcases,” Justin told her.

“Oh, well we usually only reserve those for persons with a great need for them.”

Justin sighed. “I realize that. But I’m alone and I have this backpack, two heavy bags and a small container I flew here with. I’m also expecting.”

“Expecting someone to meet you here?” The woman’s eyebrow rose.

Justin shifted his backpack on his shoulder. “Uh, no. I’m going to take a cab.”

“I can help you with getting a car, but I’m sorry we have to reserve the carriers for our passengers with a special need for them,” the woman replied.

Justin backed away from the tall counter and smoothed his t-shirt over his stomach. “I meant that I am expecting a child.” He ran his hand over his baby bump and smiled when he saw the woman smile at him.

“Oh, well why didn’t you say so?” she laughed. “I wasn’t sure what you meant. Well, of course I can get a carrier for you. Would you like me to arrange a car for you as well? The airport is very busy today. It might take a little while for one to arrive.”

Justin smiled gratefully. “Thank you. That would be wonderful. I need to go and use the restroom and freshen up. It was a really long flight.”

“You haven’t gotten your luggage then.” The woman leaned over the counter to see. “Well, would you like to go and get it? You can leave it here with me while you use the facilities if you would like?”

Justin gave the woman a bright smile, already things were looking up. He really needed that. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome, wait right here and I’ll grab the carrier for you,” she told him and then disappeared into a door behind her desk. She came out a minute later from a side door and wheeled the carrier to Justin. “Just bring it back to me and I’ll take care of it.”

Justin took the carrier and then went over to where the carrousel had just begun to disperse the suitcases. Thankfully, his things came out quickly. He grabbed them and then went back to the woman at the counter. She took his carrier and brought it back to the attendant who directed him to the bathroom.

Once there, Justin went into a stall and used the bathroom. He then changed into a clean pair of underwear, jeans and a snug fitting green t-shirt he had stashed in his backpack. After stuffing his other clothes back into the backpack, he went out to the sinks, pulled out a couple of moist facial cloths, and wiped his face clean. He noticed that other people in the bathroom were giving him odd looks, but, he wanted to make sure that he didn’t look like he’d been on a plane for hours. He wanted to look good so then he combed his hair and put lotion on his hands and face. Already the black bags under his eyes were abating, and he realized that he also had not thrown up that day. Yes, things were definitely looking up for him.

 

***
 

February 25, 2006

“Mom, Dad I need to talk to you,” Justin said quietly.

“This isn’t about the car you wanted for your eighteenth birthday, is it?” Craig laughed.

“No, it isn’t about my birthday at all,” Justin, told them. He glanced back and forth at his parents who sat across from him eating the wonderful dinner his mother had prepared.

“What is it, Jester?” Molly asked in all of her wide-eyed twelve-year-old innocence.

Justin realized that perhaps telling them in front of Molly was not the best idea. “Can we talk about it after dinner?”

His parents agreed, shrugging the conversation off. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence, though Justin barely picked at his chicken, his stomach was in knots as he imagined the millions of different ways the conversation might go.

“You didn’t eat much,” Jennifer commented, taking Justin’s plate and stacking it on top of the other empty ones.

“He probably had too much birthday cake and ice cream yesterday,” Craig commented, smiling at his son.

Justin nodded his head. “Yeah.” It was true, he had eaten half of the chocolate chip cake and half the tub of butter pecan ice cream.

Craig stood up from the table. “Molly, go finish your homework. Your mother will come and check your algebra when you’re done.”

Molly sighed, “Fine.” She slumped and went slowly of the dining room and disappeared down the hall.

“You want to talk in here or go in the living room?” Jennifer asked, coming back into room.

“Living room please,” Justin told her.

Once the three of them reached the room, Justin felt his nerves start to bubble up inside his skin. He looked at his parents who seemed to not have any idea that in just a few minutes he would tell them something that would change all of their lives. He was so fucking scared.

“What is it, Justin?” Jennifer asked softly, she could clearly see that Justin was not acting like himself. He’d been withdrawn and moody for a while. She wondered if her son was still not over the breakup with Robbie. Jennifer didn’t know the details of the breakup. Anytime she tried to talk to Justin about it, her son would change the subject.

Justin took a deep breath before he began to speak, “It’s about my future.”

“Justin we already agreed to allow you this semester off from school. Your mother and I both agreed that you could take this time to assess what it is you want to major in at Dartmouth. Have you already decided what that will be?” Craig asked.

Justin felt tears prick the back of his eyes as he shook his head. “That’s not it, dad. It isn’t about school exactly. Though I don’t think I’ll be able to attend in the fall.”

Craig’s face grew red and angry. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m pregnant,” Justin choked out.

“What?” Jennifer and Craig gasped.

“I’m having a baby,” Justin told them, tears falling down his cheeks faster than he could wipe them away.

“The hell you are,” Craig stood up and started to pace. “You’ll get an abortion!”

“Craig!” Jennifer stood up next to her husband but he roughly pushed her away.

“You will not ruin the future your mother and I have fought so hard to provide for you!”

Justin sank himself into the couch cushions. He’d never seen his father so angry before, he was glad that he had decided not to tell them until now. “I can’t get an abortion, Dad.”

Craig turned to Justin and towered over the blond. “You’ll fucking do as I tell you to do to get you out of this mess.”

Justin covered his stomach with his arms and backed, as far away from Craig as he could. “I won’t do it, Dad. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I’m already too far along.”

“You disgust me!” Craig spat in his face and turned around to begin pacing again. “Who’s the father, huh? Is it Robert’s? I’ll call his parent’s and the two of you will be married before the weeks out. I won’t have you bring my family shame by bringing a bastard into my family.”

“Craig,” Jennifer stepped in and went over to her son, taking the shaking boy in his arms. “You need to calm down, Craig!”

Craig shook his head. “I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, huh Jen?”

Justin felt his mother’s arms go stiff around him. “I guess not.” Jennifer glared into her husband’s eyes, her gaze unwavering until her husband looked away. “Is it Robbie’s, Justin? I know you broke it off but…”

“It’s not Robbie’s, Mom,” Justin cried.

“Then who knocked you up?” Craig yelled, pacing once again.

“I don’t know,” Justin whispered through his crying.

“You don’t know? What have you been doing, sleeping around?”

“Yes,” Justin whimpered. “I did.”

“Oh god, Justin,” Jennifer gasped squeezing her son closer to her chest. She couldn’t believe her child would do such a thing. She thought that he had more intelligence than that. But, maybe that was why he’d been acting so strangely?

“I’m sorry,” Justin cried, hugging his mother.

“I want names, Justin,” Craig told him.

“I don’t know them,” Justin lied.

“What? Have you been whoring yourself out to anyone on the street?”

“Craig, don’t talk to him that way! He’s still your son!” Jennifer yelled.

“Not right now he isn’t. I do not know him. Get him outta might sight right now, Jen!” Craig roared.

Jennifer grabbed Justin’s hand and helped her sobbing boy off the couch. “Stop this, Craig. Stop acting like this. We’ll figure out what to do.”

“Out! Get him out of my face before I do something to him that I don’t even know if I’d regret right now!”

Jennifer felt chills go down her spine at her husband’s words; she was in total shock of the entire situation. She didn’t know what to do, but she had to keep Justin safe. She held the boy and guided him down the hall into his bedroom.

Justin himself was in shock, he felt like he was living out a nightmare. He also felt numb and couldn’t remove his arms from where they were, wrapped around his belly. He was laid down onto his bed and curled up away from his mother, still crying, though he didn’t even notice.

Jennifer sat behind her son and rubbed his back, the way she had when he was a baby. When he had fallen asleep, she got a warm washcloth out of his bathroom and wiped all the tear tracks from his face. He looked worn out, but peaceful in his dreams. “Oh my little boy. What have you gotten yourself into? You are my baby; you’re not supposed to be having one, not yet. God, Justin, I do not believe you. I think you know exactly who the baby’s father is and for some reason you will not tell us. I hope that you weren’t hurt. I’m so scared for you. What is really going on?” Jennifer reached around Justin’s body. She was going to touch her son’s stomach but saw that even in sleep, Justin’s arms and hands were covering it. She opted for placing her hand on top of his for a moment. “I’m going to do everything I can to help you. But it’s all going to be so hard.”

 

***
 

March 17th, 2006

“Thank you so much,” Justin told the driver.

“You sure you’ll be all right getting in here?”

Justin stared up at the huge castle like building in front of him. “Yes, I should be fine.” He handed the man the fee for the car ride and a nice tip. “Thanks for helping me with the luggage too.”

“You’re welcome. Good luck to you,” the driver told him and got into the car.

Luck. It was definitely on Justin’s side today. Of all days, today was definitely the day that he needed it with him. He was sure the Holiday was probably the reason for it.

Justin watched the car turn out of the gravel covered circular drive and then he slowly marched up the four remaining stone steps to the large wooden door. There was an old looking knocker on the door, but Justin decided that he would probably be heard better if he rang the doorbell beside it.

He started to get nervous when he heard a voice yell, “Coming!”

Then the door was being rattled and then opened. “Hi.”

Brian stood, staring at Justin in disbelief. The sun backlit Justin’s blond hair, creating a halo around him and when the boy looked up at him, smiled shyly, and spoke, Brian couldn’t even tell you what the boy had said. His heart pounded loudly in his ears. Justin looked so beautiful, standing on his doorstep. “Dealramh no gréine,” he whispered. He was just as beautiful as the morning he’d left him in the hotel, but now, there was one big difference that Brian could clearly see as he raked his eyes over the length of the blond’s body.

Justin was caught off guard when the man grabbed him by the waist and pulled him inside the door and started to kiss him. Justin opened his mouth in surprised gasp that was mumbled as Brian’s lips and tongue searched inside his mouth. He gave into the man as Brian’s mouth moved from his lips to kissing his cheek and then down to his neck.

Brian placed his hand on Justin’s round stomach. “Mo páiste?”

Justin gently pushed Brian away, heaving deep breaths as he righted his mind and willed his body to calm down. “Brian…”

“You’re pregnant,” Brian interrupted.

“Yes,” Justin said, his hands twisting in the fabric of his shirt. “I didn’t know where else to go. You said you’d be there for me if I needed you. Did you mean that?”

“Of course, Justin,” Brian told him, trying to take the blond into his arms again, but Justin tensed so he backed off. “Why didn’t you come sooner?”

“I didn’t know how my parent’s would react until a couple of weeks ago. They were going to try and send me away to live with my God Mother, but my dad and my Great Aunt want me to leave the baby with her once I have it.”

“What?” Brian said, appalled. “You should have contacted me.”

“I needed to know what my parents would think first. And Robbie, he doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. They were going to try and make me marry him if I told them it was his. I don’t want to force myself and the baby on Robbie. I want him to love us on his own,” Justin started to cry. “I stupidly got back together with him for one day and now I’ve ruined my life.”

Brian’s blood ran cold. “It is Robbie’s child?”

Justin nodded. “I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want them to take my baby away from me.”

“They won’t take your baby,” Brian promised and walked toward Justin.

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian, finding the connection and comfort he knew he would within them. “Please help me, Brian. I want my baby. I don’t want my father trying to take my baby away from me but I don’t know how to stop it.”

Brian squeezed Justin to him, feeling his entire body breaking into little pieces as he realized the real reason Justin was there. He had come for the friendship he’d offered him and he couldn’t let the boy down. “I won’t let that happen, I promise you. I’ll help you find a way to keep your baby.” Brian kissed the boy’s hair and Justin let out a relieved whimper and thanked him. Brian squeezed him tighter. “That’s what friends are for.”
 

XXXXX
 

Chapter Four: “The Dream”

 

March 17, 2006

Brian hugged Justin for a few minutes and then stepped out of the embrace. It was a complete and total shock for him to see the boy standing at the front door of his office’s address. When he left America, he did not think that the boy would ever contact him, but now that the blond had, Brian knew he could not let Justin down. Even if what the boy had come there for, was only friendship.

“I’m so sorry for all of this,” Justin said softly.

“Don’t apologize for anything, okay?” Brian spoke. He walked outside and eyed Justin’s belongings. “You seemed to have brought your whole house.”

Justin looked dejected as he walked over to his things. “I’m sorry.” Justin bent down and started to pick up his suitcases, tears coming into his eyes as he tried to think about his future and what he was going to do now that he’d come to Ireland and it seemed that even though Brian was being nice he was definitely imposing on the man.

“Hey, hey.” Brian stopped Justin and grabbed the suitcases. “You aren’t supposed to be lifting that heavy thing are you? And I just told you not to apologize, remember.”

Justin let the largest case fall to the ground and quickly wiped at his eyes. “I don’t want to be an inconvenience to you, Brian. I never should have come here.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s hands in his own. “You aren’t an inconvenience, Justin. I want you here. I’m glad you came to me.”

“You are?” Justin asked.

“I am. I don’t want you to think otherwise, all right? I’m just surprised and I want you to tell me exactly what’s going on, but I think maybe we should go over to my apartment, get your things put away and then we can talk,” Brian told him.

“Okay,” Justin agreed. “But I thought this was your house?”

Brian laughed, “It might be one day. For now, this is where I keep my office. This is actually my Móraí’s, my grandmother’s home. However, she has been ill for the last couple of years so I moved my office from the building in the city to out here. This way I can keep an eye on her when I work in the office.”

“What is it that you do, Brian?” Justin asked, surprised that this was something they hadn’t talked about that night.

“Well, I went to school to be an architect, but now I focus on restoring old buildings throughout Ireland. When I went to New York I was meeting with a client who owns one that I just finished last week.”

“That sounds like a really amazing job,” Justin spoke in awe.

“It really is. I started with this property a few years ago and then I just could not stop. It’s so much better than building commercial spaces.”

“This place looks so amazing,” Justin, said as he assessed the beautiful stonewalls and intricate carvings of the castle.

“It has been in my family for hundreds of years. Generations will live here, someday me and my children will live here. But for now I keep an apartment in Dublin city. My grandmother doesn’t mind me here during the day when I am, but she says I’d over crowd her at night,” Brian laughed out.

“I can’t imagine you’d be over-crowded in a castle,” Justin spoke smiling.

“No,” Brian agreed. “Between you and me, I think she just tells me that because she knows I’ll never meet anyone ‘special’ if I’m sequestered away out here all day and night. Would you like to come in and meet her before we head to the apartment?”

Justin smiled nervously. “That’d be nice. Should I just leave this stuff out here?”

Brian nodded and took Justin’s hand. “No one should be coming out here today so your stuff will be safe. It is St. Patrick’s Day you know.”

Justin grinned. “I know. We do celebrate that in America.”

“More-so then us, I believe.” Brian smiled back at Justin as he led him through the large foyer and corridor of the old castle. He explained some of the history along the way.

Justin was in complete awe of the amazing rooms Brian showed him. “I can’t believe you grew up here.”

Brian paused in his tracks. “I almost didn’t.”

“What do you mean?” Justin asked, feeling the man’s hand tense in his own.

Brian shook his head. “Maybe I’ll tell you that story some other time.” He then led Justin into the large library where many books that traced his ancestry were stored. That definitely excited the boy and drew his attention away from what Brian was not ready to talk about; he wanted today to be a happy day. Justin had come to find him and even though the greeting was not what Brian had dared to hope it would be, the boy was still as welcome.

“I would love paint or sketch so many of the things in this place, Brian.” Justin could not hold in his excitement or smiles. He had not felt as good as he did today, in such a long time. “Everything is inspiring and romantic.”

“Maybe some day you can,” Brian told him. “I know my grandmother used to love to paint the architecture or the landscape. But her arthritis and other health problems have made it nearly impossible for her to get around easily. Now she usually paints from her imagination.”

“She paints!” Justin said excited. “That’s so great. I’d love to meet another artist.”

“Yeah, well come right this way. She’s probably in her studio now and you can see some of her landscapes.” Brian pulled Justin along with him until they stopped in front of a huge set of intricately carved, wooden double doors.

“Are you sure it’s all right if we disturb her?” Justin asked, growing nervous.

Brian smiled. “Of course, we won’t be disturbing her. She’ll be happy. My grandmother will love you.” Brian dropped Justin’s hand and knocked on the door.

“Brian, you had better not be coming up here to check on me again,” a woman’s voice yelled playfully from behind the large doors.

Brian laughed, “I’m not. I have a surprise, Móraí.”

“Come in then mo’ mac,” the woman laughed. “Come in.”

“Mo’ mac?” Justin whispered.

“It means ‘my son’,” Brian spoke, smiling. He opened the door and pulled Justin inside the studio with him by his hand. “And Móraí means ‘grandmother’,” he explained.

Betsy Kinney turned in her sitting chair and smiled at her grandson and the beautiful boy that stood beside him. “Well this is a surprise.”

Brian held Justin’s hand and walked closer to his grandmother. “Móraí this is my friend, Justin. Justin, this is my grandmother, Betsy Kinney.”

Justin flushed and walked cautiously forward until he reached the older woman. “I’m pleased to meet you, Mrs. Kinney.”

“Oh, come here and give me a hug. I might look old and frail but I assure you a hug will not kill me,” Betsy spoke softly.

Justin approached the woman and bent down, he was quite surprised at the strength with the old woman hugged him with. It felt nice though, almost the way his mother hugged him, before Justin disappointed her.

Brian came beside Justin as he stood up from the embrace. “Justin Taylor is a friend of mine from New York.”

Betsy eyed the blond boy up and down and then looked into her grandson’s eyes. “I’d say you should introduce him as more than a friend, Brian.”

Brian blushed and put his hand on Justin’s stomach. “No, Móraí, he is just a friend. This is not my child he is carrying.”

Betsy did not miss the regret in Brian’s tone or the flash of disappointment in the boy’s blue eyes as Brian spoke the words. “I am sorry then. You both would make a beautiful child together. Though I’m sure that any child of Justin’s will be very beautiful.”

“Móraí,” Brian laughed, “you’re embarrassing my guest.”

Betsy batted her hand in the air. “Oh please, mo’ mac, you are the one who should be embarrassed. You’re nearly thirty years old and I’m going to go to my grave without seeing your wedding or holding a grandchild.”

Justin watched the interaction between the two Kinneys with a smile on his face. As nervous as he was, it was nice to be in a home that seemed so relaxed.

“I am your grandchild,” Brian told her. “Have you forgotten this in your senile age?”

“Oh stop, Brian. I’m only sixty,” she huffed.

“And I’m only twenty-five,” Brian told her. “That’s hardly close to thirty.”

“I raised you as though I gave birth to you. You know what I mean. I don’t think it’s much to ask to see a grandchild before I go,” she laughed.

“Really Brian, she isn’t asking a lot,” Justin jumped in, laughing at Brian’s flustered reaction.

Brian turned toward Justin, but shut his mouth before he said what he had wanted to tell him. He turned back toward his grandmother after giving Justin a silly smile. “Justin is going to be staying with me for a while but we’re going to go into the city.”

“Playing hooky from work?” Betsy asked.

“I’m probably one of the only Irish men that aren’t drunk right now,” Brian told her smiling.

“You’re a good boy. If you hurry you can probably get home in time to watch the afternoon parade from your flat’s window,” she suggested.

Justin smiled. “That would be so cool.”

“Well, go on then,” Betsy, replied smiling at Justin’s enthusiasm.

“Do you want to come?” Brian asked.

“Oh, no I think I’m going to stay here and finish this painting. My hands seem to be doing well today,” she told them.

“That reminds me. Justin is an artist as well. I think he would love to see your paintings, I did not show him the gallery room yet. I thought I’d save that for you to show him another day,” Brian said, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh I’d love to show them show them,” she answered her grandson. “What kind of work do you do, Justin?”

“Well, I love to paint but I haven’t been able to recently. But I also really love to sketch,” Justin replied.

“Well, I’d love to hear more about what or who inspires you, Justin. It was lovely meeting you and I hope you’ll stop in to see me and have lunch with me tomorrow?”

Justin looked at Brian for confirmation, the older man nodded his head so he answered, “I’d be delighted, Mrs. Kinney. Thank you.”

“You are such a well mannered boy,” Betsy told him smiling. “It was lovely to meet you, but feel free to call me Betsy, all my friends do. I have a feeling we are going to become very good friends. How long is it that you are staying? It must not be very long; I can’t imagine the father of your baby would want to let you out of his site?” Betsy’s green eyes looked right into Brian’s as she spoke, though Justin did not notice.

Justin was trying to come up with an appropriate answer, but his thought process stopped as he heard Brian begin to speak.

“I think we’ll leave that for another time,” Brian told his grandmother in a firm voice he rarely had ever dared to use with her.

Betsy was flustered for a moment, but nodded her head. She knew that if Brian spoke in that tone of voice than there had to be something going on with Justin that was not up for discussion. However, she was sure that Justin would tell her the details once they became friends. She felt an unusual bond with the blond boy, and it was not only because he was a fellow artist. “You have fun watching the parade, Justin. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I will. Thank you and I look forward to our lunch.”

 

***
 

December 25, 2005

“Shit, shit, shit!” Justin groaned around the toothbrush. He finished brushing his teeth and then put then washed his face and hands. He felt like complete and total shit.

“Justin, you okay in there?” Jennifer called from outside her son’s bathroom door. She had gone into his room to give him his special Christmas gift but heard him throwing up in the bathroom. She waited for a while, sitting on his bed, hoping he was all right and had not caught the flu Molly had last week.

Justin cautiously walked out of the bathroom. He still felt nauseous and the realizations clawing at his guts were not helping matters, “Hey. I think I got the flu Molly had.”

Jennifer got up from the bed and placed the wrapped box on Justin’s night table, “It seems like it. Though it could’ve been all that sugar you ate too. Why don’t you get back in bed?”

Justin nodded and walked over, noticing the present. “Oh you got me something else?”

Jennifer smiled. “I did.”

Justin got underneath his soft comforter and snuggled against the pillows, suddenly feeling much better. “Why didn’t you give it to me this morning?”

Jennifer placed the box onto Justin’s lap. “I wanted this to be special for you. I know what your father thinks about things like this. I didn’t want him to spoil it.”

Justin smiled brightly at his mother. This is what he loved about her, she was always giving him special gifts or spending time with him, often doing things that his father thought weren’t manly or a worthwhile way to spend time. Knowing this he was very excited to open the gift. It was sure to be something special.

Jennifer watched her son tear open the paper and smiled when she saw the look of shock on his face. “Do you like them?”

Justin sifted through the books. “I love them, Mom. How did you know?”

“I know this grounding has been really tough on you, but your father will get over it. Anyway, I noticed that every time we’ve gone to the library you’ve checked out all kinds of stuff about Ireland and the Irish culture. I figured that since you are stuck around here all the time, dreaming of far off places must take the monotony out of it a little bit?”

Justin placed the books back into the box and reached forward to hug his mother. “It does, Mom. Thank you.” He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to ward off the tears. His emotions were so unbalanced; he did not want her to be worried about him if she noticed his tears.

Jennifer pulled back and caressed her son’s pale face. “I guess you’ll have something to do today then? It doesn’t look like you’ll be able to go to Aunt Eleanor’s for Christmas dinner.”

Justin frowned, though he was secretly glad not to have to go, he would miss his mother and sister. “Probably not. I wouldn’t want to get everyone sick and I don’t think I’ll be able to eat anything anyway.”

“Well, I’ll bring you home a plate of the good stuff just in case you feel like eating later.” Jennifer kissed Justin’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever, so maybe you will.”

Justin nodded; he knew that he probably would. “Thanks, Mom. I really like everything you gave me this morning but this stuff is just so cool. I mean it is the whole package. A book about Irish castles, a book filled with Irish poetry, a book about Irish artists and one filled with pictures of landscapes. I love it! I couldn’t ask for more.”

“I’m glad, honey.” Jennifer gave her son another hug and kiss before she stood up. “Now be good while we’re gone. I think Daddy might be in the Holiday spirit and let you off your grounding. Maybe then you can go to the New Year’s Eve party you wanted to go to.”

Justin cringed; he definitely did not want to go to that now. “I’ll be good, Mom. It is Christmas day and I am sick. I don’t really think there’s any way for me to get into trouble.”

Jennifer laughed. “No, I guess not. We will be leaving in a few minutes and we should be back home by eight. I have my cell on so call me if you need something all right?”

“I will, Mom.” Justin managed a to smile at his mother as she left his room.

He listened for the noises of his family to leave their house. He waited in his bed for a few minutes and then dressed himself in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. As quickly as he could he left their apartment building and walked down to the 24/7 Mart and scanned the aisles. Nope, not much of a way for him to get into trouble, he was sure he had already landed himself there.

 

***
 

March 17, 2006

“That was so amazing! I never thought I’d see a real Irish St. Patrick’s day parade. And Brian, your building has such an amazing view…”

Brian laughed, “Wait until you get to see the view of the lake and the bridge with out all these people crowding around.”

“I can’t wait.” Justin grabbed Brian into his arms and hugged him. “You’re amazing for letting me stay here, Brian.”

Brian could feel his face heat up and his body tingle at Justin’s touch. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I know on the drive here we talked about what happened between Robbie and me a little, but I still don’t know what I should do while I’m here?”

“What do you mean?” Brian asked.

Justin walked away from the window and sat down on the couch. “I don’t know. I’m so confused.”

Brian sat down beside Justin, “I’m confused about your confusion.”

Justin laughed; he really loved how happy Brian constantly made him, “I mean what I am going to do while I live here? I am not a citizen so I cannot get a job. I do have some money for the baby and me, but I know that is not going to be enough. I can’t expect to just stay here forever.”

“Why not?” Brian asked in a completely serious tone.

Justin smacked Brian’s thigh. “Yeah right, as if you are going to want to deal with me when I am all big, fat, and pregnant. Wait, I’m already big and fat and pregnant.”

Brian turned closer to Justin and slowly put his hand on Justin’s bump, it was about the size of a cantaloupe, and Justin had remained trim everywhere else. “You aren’t big and fat. You must see that when you look at yourself in the mirror every day.”

Justin blushed and felt tingles around where Brian was touching his stomach, he knew that the brunet was only being nice to him. “When I look in the mirror I see that I have a huge stomach and ass and both are only going to get bigger.”

“You have a baby in here.” Brian looked up into Justin’s eyes and held them with his own. “It only makes you more beautiful, mo mhúirnín bán.”

“What does that mean, Brian?” Justin whispered, placing his hand on top of Brian’s fingers.

“My fair darling,” Brian answered him, his thumb rubbing back and forth over Justin’s belly button...

“For, ever since my childhood I loved the fair and darling child,” Justin spoke in a singsong, soft voice.

Brian continued the song, his words shaky, “But our people came between us, and the lucre our pure love defiled. Oh, my woe it is, and my bitter pain, and I weep at night and day, that the coleen dawn of my early love is torn from my heart away.” Brian took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. He knew he needed to control himself or Justin may run off from him too, that was the last thing he wanted.

“Brian?” Justin questioned, noticing the man looked upset, he also noticed that Brian’s thumb had stopped its rubbing.

Brian opened his eyes. “I suppose you have been reading?”

Justin looked at Brian curiously, felt his thumb begin to move on his belly again and he decided the older man was okay. “I have.”

“Do you have a favorite?” Brian asked.

“I do. However, I am not able to memorize this one. But I have the book that it is in with me in my backpack.”

“Well I’d like to hear it, would you like me to show you to your room and we can put your things away first?”

Justin nodded. “That’d be fine. Only we still haven’t talked about what I’m going to do.”

Brian stood up and then held his hands out to help Justin up from the couch. “We’ll figure it out.”

“I know, but everything seems so messed up right now,” Justin confessed as he grabbed his backpack and a suitcase.

Brian picked up Justin’s container and the other luggage he piled on top of it. “Do you trust me, Justin?”

“I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t,” Justin replied instantly as they walked down the hallway.

“Then, trust that no matter what, I want you and the baby here as long as you need to be here. I will take care of you and you’ll be safe, okay?” Brian told him, stopping at a closed door and placing the luggage on the floor.

“I do trust you, Brian. I just am worried I did not think this through. Maybe I should have gone to France and…”

“Had them take your baby away?” Brian said loudly, his voice echoing in the hall.

Justin jumped, dropping his bags to the ground. “Yes!”

Brian grabbed Justin into his arms. “Shh… I am sorry I did not mean to yell. I just I do not want that Justin. I know you don’t want that either and I want you to just stop worrying. You came here for my help and I’m going to give it to you.”

Justin buried his face into Brian’s chest. “I don’t want you to have to pay for everything. I want your friendship, not your pity.”

Brian brought Justin out of his embrace and wiped the few tears that had fallen down the boy’s pale cheeks and turned Justin’s chin up. He met Justin’s teary blue eyes, with his warm hazel ones. “Listen to me, Justin. I have more money, because of my family, than me and a hundred people could ever use up in our lifetimes. I work because I want to. If my money, support and friendship will help you, than I am begging you, please stop feeling bad about it. That does not help a damn thing and I know stress is not good for you when you are pregnant. If you want, we can discuss a way that you might be able to help me with my job or something, if you feel like you need to earn your keep. Nevertheless, I do not ever want you to think that you and your child would be better off apart, just because you feel bad that you may have to take my help. I am your friend. You came here for my help and I’m not going to stop helping you until I know you do not need me anymore.”

“Okay, Brian,” Justin whispered.

“Good, now how about I show you your room, you read me that poem you like and then we both leave our worries behind and have a nice meal delivered for dinner. I bet you’re hungry.”

“I could eat.”

Brian opened the door to one of the guest bedrooms. “Here it is.”

Justin walked in and looked around before speaking in amazement, “Brian, this is beautiful. Thank you.”

“Oh, I’m glad you like it. It isn’t as large as the spare room beside the master but I haven’t gotten to actually fixing that up yet.”

Justin lay back on the bed and smiled at Brian. “This is wonderful. My room in New York didn’t even have a queen sized bed.”

Brian leaned against the doorway and smiled at Justin. “Well sometimes my friend Cynthia stays here with me. She lives in Pittsburgh but she went to school here.”

Justin sat up. “Oh, well I wouldn’t want to put your friend out, Brian.”

“Don’t worry about it, she rarely visits now that she has her own family and can’t find the time,” Brian told him and walked around the room. “Remember, no worries for the rest of the day. Besides, she loves my grandmother and can always stay with her if she visits. Now, you have a decent sized closet here and through this door is your own bathroom but it shares a door near the living room so be aware of that.”

Justin grabbed his things and began to unpack his backpack. “Brian?”

Brian walked over and sat across from Justin. “Yeah?”

“I know I’m not supposed to be worrying about anything, but I’m really scared.” Justin placed his hand on top of Brian’s that had gone for his sketchbook.

Brian looked at Justin and gulped, the boy looked so beautiful with the sunset shining in through the bedroom’s windows. “What are you scared of?”

“I am scared that all of this is just a dream. I’m scared that I’m going to wake up tomorrow and I’ll be back at my Aunt Eleanor’s house,” Justin confessed.

Brian gulped, “We can… both fall asleep on the sofa bed in the living room tonight, if you want.” For some reason, the idea of sleeping on the sofa bed wasn’t as intimate as sleeping in an actual bed together.

Justin laughed. “I think that might help. Maybe then I won’t be so scared to fall asleep.”

Brian nodded and tried not to think about how torturous his night of sleep would become. “Are you ready to read to me now?”

Justin nodded, taking his hand away from Brian’s and grabbing up his book. He flipped it open; forgetting that on the very page the note lye was also the letter he kept from Brian as well as his unborn child’s ultra-sound.

“What’s that?” Brian asked reaching forward and grabbing the picture. “Is this the baby?”

“Yeah.” Justin smiled and carefully slipped the letter into another page. He did not want Brian to see how weathered it had become. He would surely know then, that Justin took it out and read it constantly.

Brian examined the photo. “It says you are nineteen weeks along.”
 

“Yeah, that’s the actual months of pregnancy the way the doctors count it, even though they count from before I was actually pregnant. I’m 19 weeks gestation, that is the time of the actually babies growth but 21 weeks, almost 22 now.”

Brian’s mind reeled. “But that’s right around the time when we had sex, Justin.”

“You used a condom,” Justin told him, realizing what Brian was thinking. Knowing that it was something he himself probably wished was true, but knew that it was not.

“You and Robbie didn’t?” Brian asked, trying to keep the disgust out of his voice.

“Of course we did. But it broke, Brian,” Justin told him. “The ones we used didn’t, did they?”

Brian shook his head because he was certain he would have noticed if they had. “No, they didn’t. So, tell me about the baby?”

“Brian.” Justin smiled. “Am I ever going to read you my favorite Irish poem?”

“Yeah, you’re off the hook for now. But I want to know about the baby over dinner.” Brian smirked.

Justin smiled so brightly, it was so fucking nice to know that Brian had genuine interest in his pregnancy. It would be wonderful to share it with him.

Brian stared at the picture of the baby in his hands until Justin started to speak, then he could not keep his eyes off the blond’s blue eyes. “It’s called “The Dream” by Thomas Moore.” Justin cleared his throat before he started to read.

Brian had to refrain himself from kissing Justin as the boy began to read his own favorite poem. He listened intently to the words spoken from the pink lips.

“I thought this heart consuming lay on Cupid's burning shrine. I thought he stole thy heart away and placed it near to mine. I saw thy heart begin to melt like ice before the sun; till both a glow congenial felt, and mingled into one.”

Brian’s hear beat so quickly in his chest with each word spoken; he was surprised that Justin could not hear it. He was surprised he could hear Justin speaking over the pounding.

“So?” Justin asked, taking the picture from Brian’s still fingers and putting it back inside the book as he closed it up.

Brian gulped, “Dealramh no gréine, you chose well.”

Justin wanted to ask what Brian had spoken in Irish, but he had the feeling that the man wouldn’t tell him. “I did? You don’t think it’s too cheesy… too…”

“Of all the Irish poems you could have chosen as your favorite, you also chose mine,” Brian whispered.

“Did I really?” Justin asked.

Brian nodded. “You may have not noticed yet, but I have that poem framed on my mantle, Justin.”

“That’s so…” Justin did not have words to describe how great it made him feel to know that he and Brian both loved those words.

“You can see for yourself. How about we go order a pizza?” Brian stood up on shaky legs and led Justin out of the bedroom. He could not wrap his mind around this. He did not believe in coincidences. He believed in fate. Ever since he had met Justin, he felt as though it had been knocking steadily upon his heart’s door.

 

***
 

New York

Jennifer closed her cell phone and then dialed Andrea’s phone number, her friend instantly picked up. “Did you find him, Jen?”

“He changed his flight to Dublin Ireland,” she spoke in a whisper.

“What?”

Jennifer sat down on her bed. “I can’t talk very loudly, Craig’s in the next room.”

“Does Justin know someone there?” Andrea was well versed in these types of conversations with Jennifer.

“Yes,” Jennifer spoke in a normal tone.

“Do you think he’s safe?”

“I have a feeling that he is, yes.”

“Do you think he might be with the baby’s father?”

“I… I am not sure. I believe so but I have to think this out. Call me tomorrow morning.”

“You’re going to tell him that Justin got here just fine then?”

“I have to. I have to put my son and grandchild’s needs first and my intuition is telling me that I need to do this,” Jennifer replied with a sigh. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Andrea. You’re the best friend in the world.”

“You too Jen, I’ll look forward to hearing from you. Bye,” Andrea said before hanging up.

“Hey, did Justin make it there okay?” Craig asked, walking into their bedroom.

“Yeah, he’s asleep though. Jet lag,” Jennifer lied.

 

***
 

February 25, 2006

Jennifer stood up from her son’s bed and kissed his cheek. She leaned over and was about to turn off the lamp on his nightstand when she noticed a piece of an envelope, the last letters of Justin’s name written on it, sticking out of his sketchbook.

She was never a mother that snooped, but her intuition was telling her that this time she needed to. As silently as possible, she lifted the pad and opened it. The first page had at least a dozen sketches of a very handsome young man’s face in various expressions. Jennifer could tell this man was not a boy in the least. She held onto the letter in one hand as she flipped to the next page. Before her eyes, she saw a sketch of the man naked. Her hands shook as she turned to the next page and saw more sketches of different parts of the man’s body. The name of each body part, wrote underneath the drawing of the body. Her son had sketched every area of the man’s body, beginning with “Brian’s neck” and ending with “Brian’s feet.” Justin most definitely had found his muse.

Jennifer carefully opened the envelope, took out the pieces of stationary and opened them. A tiny business card had been placed inside. She read it carefully, her mind unknowingly memorizing the man’s full name. She then started to read the letter, her heart beating out of her chest as she read the words. She felt angry but she also realized that this man truly cared for her son. She was not sure exactly who he was to Justin or how her son had met him, but she also knew that she needed to put everything back in its place.

Shame clouded Jennifer’s body as finally turned out the light on her son’s nightstand, tucking the letter further into the sketchbook and then left the room of her pregnant son.

 

***
 

Early morning hours of March 18, 2006

Justin crawled onto the sofa bed. “Thanks for doing this. I think I’ll sleep much better with you beside me on my first night here.”

“No problem,” Brian replied, lifting the covers for Justin and trying hard not to watch the boy’s graceful movements too closely. “This way we can watch T.V. until we fall asleep.”

Justin smiled as he got himself comfortable. “Sounds good to me.”

“Do you want popcorn? I can make some?” Brian asked.

“No, that’s all right. I did nearly eat a whole large pizza,” he laughed.

Brian reached beside him and rubbed Justin’s tummy. “The baby was hungry. So technically you only ate half of it.”

“Oh!” Justin put his hand on top of Brian’s hand.

“Are you all right? Do you have indigestion or something? I can get you something,” Brian spoke trying to remove his hand but Justin held it in place.

“No.” Justin smiled at the Irishman as he took Brian’s hand away and lifted his t-shirt, for the first time feeling comfortable with his growing stomach. “I felt the baby Brian! I finally felt the baby! I thought I had before, but not like this, not like this. I waited and I waited and now I feel it for real!” Justin’s hands skimmed along his skin. “Did you feel it?”

Brian shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

Justin stared at Brian, smiling and raising his eyebrow.

“What?” Brian asked.

“See if you can feel it.” Justin said moving one of his hands away from his belly.

“You sure?” Brian asked.

Justin nodded, “I like it when you touch my belly Brian. It makes me; it makes me not feel ashamed.”

Brian reached over and softly touched his hand to Justin’s stomach as he looked into the blue eyes illuminated by the television’s light. “Don’t ever be ashamed of this. It does not matter how the baby happened, Justin. Bringing a life into the world is never anything to be ashamed of.”

“Brian, when you say this kind of stuff to me, it makes me believe it,” Justin admitted. He put his hand on top of Brian’s and pressed down a little. “There it is, Brian.”

“I felt it Justin!”

“You did, and oh my god it’s so cool, but it tickles and it feels so funny too. I can’t explain it,” Justin laughed.

Brian leaned over and placed a kiss on Justin’s belly, “Dia dhuit leanbán.”

Justin giggled, “What did you say?”

“If I tell you I might have to kill you,” Brian joked, leaning back onto his pillows and smiling at Justin.

Justin pulled his shirt down. “I remember you spoke to me in Irish the night we met. Are you ever going to tell me what you said?”

Brian closed his eyes and remembered that night, his dick awakened under the memories as well. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure I remember them,” Brian lied.

“Oh,” Justin spoke sadly. He remembered them all. “Can you at least give me a hint as to what you said when you kissed my belly?

Brian smirked and gave in to the blond. “I said, ‘hello baby’.”

Justin smiled and turned his attention to the television, though he was not exactly concentrating on the comedy program. “Irish is such a romantic sounding language,” Justin sighed pulling the covers up tightly around him.

Brian closed his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired from the day’s surprises. “Yes it is, mo grá.”

Justin remembered Brian calling him that when they had made love, he turned to ask Brian what that word meant, but before he could; he saw that the man was already deeply asleep. He grabbed the remote and flicked the television off before turning onto his side and inching himself closer to Brian.

Brian was not actually asleep, but he knew that the blond probably thought he was. He felt Justin’s warm body slide up against his own body and could not help but to sleepily roll over closer to the boy and put his arms around Justin’s waist.

Brian felt Justin’s body tense for a few minutes, but then he felt movement and soon the blond’s head tucked under his chin, and his nose was inhaling the boy’s scent. He stayed awake for another hour trying to fight his growing erection as Justin lay, sleeping peacefully in his arms.
 

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