Standard Kinney Operating Procedure

Justin knew he was taking a calculated risk by going to the loft. It was a risk he was willing to take though. He needed to show Brian somehow that he was in this with him. If Brian would only stop pushing him away, it was getting really fucking annoying. Unfortunately Brian seemed to have slipped into his default setting. His standard Kinney operating procedure of pushing him away. He was willing to call Brian's bluff about the restraining order. Brian hated cops, with good reason too. Seriously what cop would give Brian the time of day once he found out he was gay?

He had it all planned out. The soup would get done right around the time Brian would come home from work. Unless Brian came home early because he wasn't feeling well, then he'd be screwed. No, Justin thought, Brian was stubborn; he wouldn't come home early. His plan was simple. Placate Brian with some chicken soup then try to have a reasonable adult discussion with Brian. He should have known the whole thing would go ass over tits.

Justin tried not to jump when the loft door was yanked open. He covered his nervousness by stirring the soup.   

Brian's mood darkened tenfold when he saw Justin in his kitchen, like he fucking belonged there. Cooking what smelled like sock soup.

"I thought I told you to get out."

Justin calmly ladled soup into a dish for Brian.  "I guess I didn't hear you. You tend to mumble a lot."

Brian slammed his black case down on the counter. Quietly seething he took off his scarf.

Justin quietly asked, "Do you want some soup? It's Debbie's homemade recipe.”

"No wonder I feel like barfing. Listen to me you little shit. I don't want you here."

Justin steeled himself and looked Brian in the eyes. "I don't care what you want. We need to talk about this. If you'd just stop pushing me away for two seconds, I thought we could have an adult conversation."

Brian rolled his lips into his mouth and stormed around the counter with a determined stride. He grabbed Justin by the upper arm and started pulling roughly. Justin immediately dug his heels in.

Justin couldn't believe Brian was acting like this. Brian was going to physically throw him out yet again. Brian never got rough with him. So it was more than a little unnerving to see Brian acting this way.

"You're not getting rid of me yet."

Justin pushed Brian off of him and to his horror Brian lost his balance and fell to the hard wooden floor. All he had wanted to do was get Brian to stop manhandling him to the door. He hadn't even pushed that hard. Justin fell to his knees behind Brian, his hand resting on his back. A lump was forming in his throat.

"Shit, are you alright?"

Justin thought he heard Brian make a small whimpering sound.

"Please tell me you're alright." His voice held an edge of panic in it.

Brian inched forward and then suddenly began to vomit on the floor. Justin closed his eyes and bit his trembling lip as he rubbed circles on Brian's convulsing back. He screwed this all up and Brian was going to hate him. When Brian was done he got shakily to his feet with Justin's help. The look he gave Justin was downright murderous as he pulled away from him. Justin held his hands up and took a step back.

"I'll just put the soup away… and I'll… clean up. Why don't you go up to the bedroom and lie down."

He watched Brian for a moment shuffling slowly towards the bedroom. Justin headed to the kitchen to take care of the soup then tackle everything else. Justin cleaned up the kitchen and put the soup away, hopefully for later consumption. He took his time, moving about the kitchen virtually silent. He was man enough to admit he was stalling. Justin was pretty much dreading facing Brian, but it had to be done. Justin got out the cleaning supplies and headed for the living room to clean up the mess. It wasn't even that bad since all Brian threw up was liquid.

When everything was clean and put away he knew he had to face Brian. Like a condemned man he slowly made his way to the bedroom. The first thing he noticed was Brian was curled up on his side of the bed. He realized that Brian had probably been too tired and weak to even get to his own side of the bed. Justin's stomach shriveled a little at the thought. Absently he picked up Brian's crumpled coat from the foot of the bed and went to hang it up. Then he sat down slowly at the foot of the bed. He was at a loss for what to say. Brian hated apologies so what else could he possibly say?

"I didn't mean to make such a mess of things."

He met Brian's gaze and sucked in a little breath. Even as ill as Brian was, he was still so devastatingly beautiful. He caught Brian's suffering sigh.

"I'm sure you think you're doing me some kind of great service by pushing me away. We're partners, Brian, and partners take care of each other, it comes with the package. You can't just say we're not partners when things get bad for you. This has been my home for the better part of three years and you tossing me out like I'm not welcome, whenever you feel like it, is downright hurtful."

Absently he started to slip Brian's shoes off while he gathered his thoughts.

"How would you feel if something happened to me and I deliberately tried to hide it from you?" He really didn't want to play the bashing card but he knew it might just be his best option.

"Say I started to develop neurological problems from the bashing. One day I just tell you to go fuck yourself, move out and avoid you. You can't honestly tell me that you would just walk away and leave me alone. How can you expect me to do the same? I love you and I care about you Brian."

"I don't want you taking care of me," Brian said pointedly.  

Justin nodded seriously.

"Ok fine, but chew on this fact. You won't be able to take care of yourself as time goes on. You could try, but it'd be an even bigger miserable hell than you are already in. And you'd run the risk of making yourself even sicker trying to do everything yourself. Then all it takes is for Michael to drop by unexpectedly seeing you looking like death and then the real fun begins. You think I would smother and annoy you? Michael would be over here 24/7 and Debbie wouldn't be too far behind."

Brian visibly shuddered at that image.

"Are you really telling me you'd prefer that than me occasionally getting things for you and making sure you're comfortable?"

Justin crossed his fingers under the folds of the duvet.

"Tell me to leave once more, that you don't want to see me anymore, that we're done and I'll walk out that door and I won't come back. Personally I don't want that, but it's your choice."

Justin heard Brian mumble something.

"What was that?"

"Stay, I want you to stay."

Justin rubbed Brian's foot gently. "I want to stay too."

He saw Brian tremble a bit his arms wrapped protectively around himself.

"Cold?"

Brian only nodded.

Justin got up and went to the closet. He lifted up onto his toes to get his favorite fleece blanket that was on the top shelf. He tucked it around Brian who cuddled into it, though Justin was sure he wasn't supposed to notice. He resumed his spot at the foot of the bed where they lounged in silence.

After awhile Justin noticed that Brian's pallor was looking a bit on the green side and he was swallowing a bit harder. 

"Would you like some ginger ale? It might help to settle your stomach a bit."

"I don't have any," he replied while valiantly trying not to gag.

"You do now." He'd brought some along as an afterthought along with ingredients for the chicken soup.

Justin went to the kitchen and poured out a small glass of ginger ale for Brian. When he got back he noticed with a small smile that Brian had made a small spot for him to lie down next to him. Justin handed over the glass. Brian took grateful tiny sips of the liquid. Justin cuddled up to Brian under the fleece blanket and let out a happy little sigh as Brian's comforting weight pressed against him.

"Didn't they give you anti-nausea medication?" Justin thoughtfully inquired.

"Yeah, and as you can see it works oh so fucking well."

Justin frowned. "That sucks."

"Thank you," Brian murmured quietly.

Justin's lips parted to reply then he bit them instead. He nodded slightly against Brian's chest in acknowledgment. Everything had been said that needed to be said. No more words needed to be spoken at this moment, just quiet understanding.

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