Free

Special thanks to Cheryl for all the medical info.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian sat behind his desk at Kinnetik working on an account, with a multi-million dollar one lined up for final touches. He was stalling though and he knew it. He needed to make the phone call, all he had to do was pick up the phone and dial the number. Brian shifted in his seat, maybe later. He pinched the bridge of his nose then jerked the phone out of its cradle and dialed.

"This is Brian Kinney. I'd like to make my one year follow up appointment."

When he got off the phone he let out a shuddery breath and went back to work.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When Brian got home Justin was in the kitchen making dinner. Justin looked up from the simmering sauce and smiled at Brian.

"Hey."

"Hey, that smells good." Brian slipped up behind Justin and put his arms around Justin's waist. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Justin's golden hair.

"Thanks, it should be done soon. So how was work?"

"Oh the usual, I signed a multi-million dollar account."

Justin spun around in Brian's arms.

"Brian, that's great." He pulled Brian in for a quick kiss. "So what's the account?"

"U.P.S." Brian deepened his voice a little. "What can 'brown' do for you?"

"Brilliant." Justin beamed up at his partner then turned back to his sauce before it burned.

Brian wandered up to the bedroom to change out of his suit. He pulled out a pair of soft worn jeans and a t-shirt, and then sat down on the bed. Out in the kitchen Justin was preparing the broiled chicken and the new sauce recipe he'd found. He set the table and dished up two plates. Justin frowned as he looked towards the bedroom; he'd thought Brian would be right down. Justin went to go see what was keeping his partner. He found Brian sitting on the bed staring blankly at the closet. Justin ran his fingers through Brian's silky hair then squeezed the nape of Brian's neck.

"What's wrong?"

Brian blinked and looked up. "Hmm, oh nothing, it's just been a really long day."

"Dinner's ready," Justin said quietly. Justin held out his hand and pulled Brian to his feet. He could tell something was wrong but he remained silent. Brian would tell him when he was ready. They sat down at the table. Justin waited for Brian to take the first bite and get a review.

Brian smiled as Justin peeked out at him through his lowered lashes. "It's good."

Justin's smile lit up the room. That was better than 'not bad.' He dug in and ate heartily while Brian was ever the dainty eater.

After dinner Justin cleaned up the kitchen while Brian went upstairs. He saw through the glass panels into the bedroom. Brian pulled out a suitcase and began packing. Since he didn't plan on being gone long he only packed the necessities. Justin wandered up to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. He watched Brian pack.

"You going somewhere?" Justin asked idly.

"Yep."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Just over night, I'll be back the next day."

"Where are you going?"

"Maryland."

Justin frowned. "What the fuck is in Maryland?"

Brian looked deeply into Justin's eyes and murmured, "Business."

Justin headed down to the living room intent on doing a little sketching. Suddenly he stopped in the middle of the room. He knew what Maryland signified. Almost one year ago Brian went to Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore Maryland to have his testicle removed. Brian was going on business but it didn't have anything to do with Kinnetik. He reasoned that Brian must be going for his one year check up. He was disappointed that Brian wouldn't or couldn't confide in him especially about this. They'd been through so much and he had more than proved he wouldn't leave over a bit of plastic. Justin turned around and went back to the bedroom. He leaned against the casing.

"Can I go with you?"

Brian looked up slowly as he zipped up his suitcase. "You have class."

Justin shrugged not saying anything.

Brian walked over and wrapped his arms around Justin's waist. He smirked slightly. "I know you'll miss me terribly but I'll only be gone a day. I'm a big boy; I can take care of business all by myself. Besides you'd be bored out of your mind."

Justin lifted up on his toes and placed a gentle kiss on Brian's lips. He looked at Brian then whispered reluctantly, "Ok."

Brian knew from the look in Justin's eyes that he was on to him. His boy was smart; he knew he'd figure it out eventually. It meant a lot that Justin offered to go with him but he felt it was something he had to do on his own. Justin didn't need to miss class on account of him. There wasn't anything Justin could do anyway except let him go. He was also relieved that Justin hadn't said anything. If they both pretended everything was fine maybe it would be.

Justin flopped down on the sofa and picked up his sketchbook. Sometimes it was so frustrating when Brian kept things to himself. After all these years you'd think he'd be a little more open. Justin giggled to himself. 'Guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks.' All he could do was be there for him. Justin flipped the book open to a clean page. He happened to glance up and saw Brian up in the bedroom. He was lying in bed reading a book. A small smile curved Justin's lips. Brian never looked sexier. His fingers twitched to capture the image. Not a lot of people knew that Brian liked to read. Brian made sure his persona of party boy was firmly established. No one but Justin ever got to see the quiet intellectual hidden away behind his walls. Justin's fingers flew across the page. He wanted, needed to capture this moment.

Justin savored the image as each bit of Brian was revealed in the sketch. His long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. The book was propped up on Brian's flat stomach. Justin smiled as every feature of Brian's face came alive in his sketch. When he deemed it finished he signed his name and dated it in the bottom right corner. He set his sketchbook aside and looked in on Brian. The big guy was fast asleep with his book resting on his chest. Even one year later Brian was mostly back to his old self but there were subtle changes. Brian didn't do very many all nighters anymore. He often got tired in the evening. Justin chuckled to himself. Brian would get pissed as hell when he fell asleep at eleven or even worse ten. Brian was also now prone to naps in the afternoon. Justin was sworn to secrecy. Justin remembered the day when Ted had accidentally caught Brian napping in his office. Poor Ted was threatened with his life and his job.

Justin went up to the bedroom and crept around to Brian's side. He gently lifted the book off Brian's chest and placed his bookmark between the pages before setting it on the nightstand. Brian was very anal about his books. Justin remembered back to when he first came to live with Brian. Brian had caught him mid fold and had a queen out of major proportions about how bad it was to fold the pages down. The longer he ranted the sillier he got. There was crazy talk about the books crying out in pain every time a page was folded. Suffice it to say he was broken of that habit.

Brian's eyelashes fluttered open.

"Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"S'ok" Brian rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and stretched his long legs. He got up and went to use the bathroom. Justin stripped down for bed. He knew Brian was still tired. There was nothing he wanted to do more than to cuddle up to Brian. Justin watched as Brian undressed; it was just one of his many guilty pleasures. Brian slid beneath the covers. Before Justin could even move Brian was inching his way to him. Justin laid perfectly still, his breath caught in his throat as Brian curled up around him. His arms automatically wrapped around Brian holding him tight. Brian rested his head against Justin's chest. It wasn't often that he allowed Justin to hold him but tonight it seemed all right.

"I'm not too heavy for you, am I?" Brian murmured.

"No," Justin whispered as he caressed Brian's hair. After a few minutes "Bri?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I at least take you to the airport?"

"Ok."

It wasn't long before Justin heard the soft wheeze that Brian made in his sleep. It was hours before Justin could fall asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin insisted on seeing Brian off. There was no way he'd just drop Brian off at the gate and be on his merry way. He'd tried to keep a tight reign on his emotions because he knew Brian would hate that. They held hands all the way to the lounge not giving a flying fuck what anyone thought.

"There had better not be a scratch on my Vette when I get back."

Justin rolled his eyes but smiled. "There won't be. Brian…"

"Yeah."

"Good luck." Justin recalled the words he'd said nearly a year ago when Brian went on his supposed trip to Ibiza. "I just want you to know that I love you and I'll be here when you get back."

Brian remembered the significance of those words. He nodded his head. "That's good to know."

Just then before they both got weepy and maudlin Brian's flight was called. They both reached for each other at the same time. They shared a kiss that seemed to last forever but was really only mere seconds. Brian caressed Justin's cheek then adjusted the strap of his carry on bag.

"Later."

"Later." Justin's voice cracked. They both shared a smile. Justin blinked away the moisture in his eyes. Brian leaned down and pressed their foreheads together.

"Don't forget to take your allergy medication." Justin huffed a laugh. Brian pressed his lips to Justin's softly then he pulled away and strode to the gate. Justin watched him till he boarded the plane. Brian never looked back once.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian's flight was uneventful. He thought of Justin often just to take his mind off the impending tests. He checked into his hotel then caught a cab to the hospital. Brian signed himself in then began the painful wait. He wished that he'd let Justin come with him. Who was he kidding really? He wanted Justin there holding his hand and reassuring him everything would be fine even if there was no way to tell.

"Mr. Kinney, you can go in now, the first exam room on your right."

He sat in the exam room and suffered another fifteen minute wait. In that time all his thoughts were of Justin. The doctor finally graced him with his appearance. He answered the standard questions and suffered through the collection of his blood. A nurse led him to another wing with yet another exam room. He stripped down and put on the God awful hospital gown. A ghost of a smirk crossed his lips. Justin would still find him hot. Just when he thought he'd freeze his ass off it was time for his M.R.I. As instructed he climbed up onto the hard metal table and lay down. He didn't even bother trying to get comfortable. The technician wasted no time strapping him down. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes; he just wanted this all to be over so he could go back home and be in Justin's arms. That's where he wanted to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin got through his afternoon classes as best as he could but he was distracted for obvious reasons. After class he was supposed to meet up with Michael to work on the next issue of Rage. Even though the movie fell through they still kept making the comic and they didn't have a problem selling them. Maybe one day when the time was right they would try again to get Rage on the silver screen. Justin entered the comic shop. Michael looked up from what he was doing.

Michael sighed, "What did the asshole do now?"

Justin shot him an angry look. "You know for someone who claims to be his best friend you have no problem calling him an asshole on a frequent basis."

Michael smiled his dopey smile. "Well, even you have to admit that Brian can and will be an asshole at times."

Justin tilted his head to the side acknowledging the fact but not admitting it out loud. "For your information Brian didn't do anything. I'm just worried about him."

Michael's Brian radar instantly pinged. "Worried? Why, is he sick again?"

Justin groaned. When would he ever learn to keep his big mouth shut around Michael. Michael was like some type of disease. Every time he was around him stuff would fly out of his mouth and he almost always regretted saying anything.

"Come on, you have to tell me," Michael whined.

"You know whining is so not attractive for a man your age."

Michael crossed his arms and pouted. "I don't whine, ok sometimes but I can't help it. It's in the genes."

"Deb doesn't whine she bellows. It must come from the drama queen side of the family."

"You know about that?" Michael gasped.

"Oh please, everyone with half a brain figured it out." Justin scratched the bridge of his nose in thought. "Ok, I'll tell you but if you take this information back to Brian like you usually do I will come here and beat the shit out of you. I still haven't forgiven you for telling Brian we knew he had cancer. Did you even think for one second what kind of damage you were doing?"

Michael just stood there with a constipated look on his face.

"Brian went to Maryland."

"What for?"

"Well he led me to believe he had business there but I know he doesn't."

"Well maybe he does. I don't think he would leave the state just to trick."

"No, dumb ass, he went for his one year check up. It's almost one year to the day that he got his testicle removed."

"Oh."

"He didn't say anything and I didn't say anything. God, you'd think by now we could have progressed past that."

"You know he loves you."

"Yes I know he loves me and I love him with all my heart. The point is I wanted to be there for him, to comfort him, that's what partners do but he won't let me."

Michael shrugged. "That's just the way Brian is."

"If it were me, if I were the one who was sick Brian would take care of me. He'd be at every Doctor's appointment even if it meant he had to miss work. He'd do anything to make me feel better and it just kills me that he won't let me do the same for him."

"Then do something for him when he gets back."

Justin's nose wrinkled in thought. "Like what?"

"I don't know; something that shows you care."

"Maybe, come on; we have a comic book to plan."

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that night the phone rang. Justin reached over to answer it.

"Hey."

Justin's heart clenched when he heard Brian's voice. "Hey Brian ----." He stopped himself short of asking how he was. "So how did it go?"

"Ah well, you know, it was a pain in the ass but it had to be done. I wish I could have sent Ted in my place."

Justin laughed. Oh how he loved this frustrating man. "When will you know something?"

"Well sometimes these things take time. I should know something in a week."

Suddenly Justin had an idea. "Well when you land the 'account' we'll have to celebrate. I'll take you out to dinner."

"Oh you will, huh?" Brian fell quiet. "I think I'd like that."

"Do you want me to pick you up from the airport?"

"Yeah, sure if it's not too much trouble."

"It's definitely no trouble. I miss you, Brian."

Brian chuckled. "Silly twink, I'll be back tomorrow afternoon."

"I know."

"Go put on one of my t-shirts, not one of the expensive ones."

Justin laughed. "Everything you own is expensive."

"Put on one of my shirts and jack off; you'll feel better."

The idea appealed to Justin. "Sounds hot."

"Oh it is, if you'll check you'll see one of your shirts is missing. Night, night, Sunshine." Brian hung up before Justin could say anymore. Brian was romantic in his own way.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin picked Brian up at the airport and brought him home. Brian didn't volunteer anymore information than he did on the phone. As hard as it was, Justin didn't ask for any either. They just moved forward with their lives.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

7 Days Later

Finally Brian got the long awaited results. He sighed with relief at the news; he was fine.

When Brian got home from work the first thing he did was grab Justin up in his arms and spin him around the loft till they both were breathless.

"Brian!?" Justin laughed.

Brian held Justin's gaze. "I'm fine."

It didn't have to be explained. Justin knew what Brian meant. He pulled Brian into his arms and held him tight. When Justin pulled away he covertly wiped a tear away. Brian pretended not to see.

"We have to celebrate," Justin said firmly, not wanting any arguments.

"I do seem to recall you wanting to take me out to dinner," Brian replied with a smirk. He swatted Justin on the ass. "Go change into something I won't be ashamed to be seen with you in public. I'm just going to check my e-mail." Brian loosened his tie a bit and sat down at his computer and turned it on. There were a handful of messages for him to go through. When he finished the last one Justin came down from the bedroom. He wore a cream sweater with chocolate brown pants. Brian wanted to say fuck the food and bend Justin over the nearest piece of furniture but he knew this was important to Justin.

Justin walked confidently up to Brian. "I take it you approve?"

"It'll do." They both reached for the other's hand at the same time. To Justin's surprise Brian let him drive to the restaurant.

Brian ordered filet mignon bloody rare. Justin figured whatever made Brian happy, it was his day. He just made sure to keep his eyes on his own dinner. Conversation consisted of the latest Kinnetik accounts and Justin's latest masterpieces. Justin insisted on dessert, something chocolaty that tasted like a bit of heaven. Brian only halfheartedly protested. Justin tempting him with chocolate was a lethal combination. Justin ordered a big piece of triple chocolate cake which they shared. Brian must have been in an agreeable mood because he let Justin feed him bites of the heavenly confection. When the check came Brian put his foot down when Justin wanted to pay. Justin pouted as Brian whipped out his gold card with an air of authority. Justin knew he wouldn't get his way this time. A crafty smile curved his lips. He'd just have to treat Brian some other way.

~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

When they got home they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Somewhere along the way Justin got the upper hand and Brian let him. They stumbled up the bedroom steps. Justin nearly tripped but Brian caught him. Eager hands pulled, tugged and fondled. Their fancy clothes were all but forgotten in a heap on the floor.

Justin got comfortable between Brian's legs. He placed soft kisses along the inside of Brian's thighs, first one leg then the other. He licked along the line where leg met pelvis. Justin nuzzled both of Brian's balls. He placed a kiss on each one. He sucked first one then the other into his mouth. He paid equal attention to both, not playing favorites. It didn't matter to him that one was fake. Justin caressed Brian's hips as he worked his balls over. Brian's moans made his cock even harder than it already was and it began to leak. When Brian's balls were thoroughly spit shined he moved on to his steel length. He gave Brian his best bedroom eyes then brushed his lips gently along the head of his dick. Brian made a grab for Justin's hair and fisted it between his long fingers. He fed Justin his cock inch by inch till his cock head hit the back of his throat. He gasped as Justin began to work his cock over. Justin loved dick and Brian got the benefit of it. Justin massaged Brian's dick with his throat.

He worked his way slowly up the shaft then swirled his tongue around the head and dove back down taking every inch of Brian. He did this over and over till Brian's eyes nearly went crossed with pleasure. When Brian had had quite enough Justin let his dick slowly slip from his mouth. He flopped down next to his partner. While Brian got his breath back Justin was working his hole open. Brian watched him with a mixture of hunger and lust.

Brian snatched a condom from the bowl beside the bed and prepared his dick. Justin drew up his legs and spread them wide. Brian moved into position and entered him in one long thrust. A year ago when Brian got back into the fucking groove Justin ended up having to do most of the work in bed. Brian would get easily tired and that would piss him off. They had alternated between Justin riding his cock and Brian laying on his side rocking into him. As Justin recalled they came up with a few other fun positions that didn't tax Brian's stamina. Now Brian was kneeling between his legs thrusting into him and he looked so incredibly beautiful. Brian kept his thrusts long and slow, he wanted this to last. Justin was dying to touch himself but he knew if he didn't he would cum harder. He scratched the inside of his thighs and shuddered in pleasure. His piss slit was gaping open and a puddle of precum glistened on his stomach. Brian swiveled his hips and nudged him just so. Justin's neck arched at a dramatic angle. He panted and moaned as their sweat slicked bodies slid together creating a delicious friction. Justin never needed to cum so bad in all his life.

"Brian, oh God, fuck, harder!"

Brian pounded Justin's hole and every few passes he'd graze his prostate. He knew Justin wouldn't last much longer. He kept his dick buried deep within his partner's tight sheath. Justin shuddered and gasped as his anus clamped down on Brian's shaft. His cum exploded out of his cock, drenching his chest and stomach. Justin forced his eyes open to watch Brian cum. He loved to watch Brian; he was breathtakingly beautiful especially when he was in the throes of orgasm. Justin savored the warmth in his ass as Brian filled the condom. Brian sank down to rest on Justin's chest not caring if they were all wet and sticky. Justin wrapped his arms around Brian, not wanting to let him go.

Justin must have fallen into a light dose because when he woke all traces of the night's activities were gone. Brian was just getting into bed after cleaning him up. Justin gave him a sleepy smile then snuggled up to him and fell back to sleep.

One year down of being Cancer free and a life time of memories to make still to come.

Return to Gina's