Chapter 4

It was the night before Justin's first day of college. He was pretty nervous about starting. The classes would be challenging and he still couldn't hold on to a pencil for very long much less draw anything of substance. He distracted himself by giving Brian a spectacular blowjob. Brian was moaning and panting, really getting into it. He wasn't accurately clocking it but he figured he made Brian cum hard in under five minutes. Brian loved his blowjobs. He even said once that his were some of the best he'd ever had. Brian kissed Justin's neck and then proceeded to reciprocate the attention that his dick had received.

"Ah no, no that was just for you." Justin put a hand to his shoulder stopping him.

"Since when do you turn down getting your dick sucked?"

"Since tomorrow is a big day and I have to save my energy for my art."

He rolled out of bed. "What do you call what we're doing?"

"I promise I'll let you blow me tomorrow night."

Brian called over his shoulder while taking a piss. "Yeah well, who says I'll be in the mood."

Justin grabbed his sketch pad and again tried to attempt the drawing he'd been secretly working on. Looking at it he knew it was a piece of crap. His hand immediately began shaking all over the page. There was pain in his hand. He stretched his fingers out but it didn't help the shaking. Brian came back and he covered the pad protectively.

"Drawing my cock again?"

"Just doodling."

Brian flopped down on the bed. He maneuvered his head under the pad of paper and began to suck Justin off.

When Justin felt Brian's mouth on him he asked, "What are you doing?"

His words were thrown back at him, "Just doodling."

Brian licked a particularly sensitive spot and Justin thought 'fuck it' it felt too good to make Brian stop. He laid back and enjoyed receiving Brian's special attentions. He felt himself cuming when Brian's tongue lingered along his slit.

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Art class was exciting and horrible all in one. It was exciting to be there. The smell of art supplies overjoyed Justin. He was ready and willing to draw wonderful things. The horrible part was he wasn't able to. His drawing was painfully slow. There was no way he'd be able to keep up with the rest of the class. His hand ached and he was probably overdoing it. He lost control of his hand under the professor's supervision.

Justin stayed late after class to keep working on his drawing. He didn't want to give up but it was looking hopeless. Then his day got even worse when the dean came to see him and voiced his concerns and Justin's deepest fears. It was a very strenuous program and with his hand still recovering. He might have to reconsider whether or not he could meet their requirements. After the dean left Justin looked at his drawing sadly. His hand shook as he dropped his piece of charcoal. He quit in defeat.

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Justin entered Babylon for the first time after the bashing. He was already flying high. He thought he may have doubled up on his pain meds but he couldn't remember and he didn't care. He was feeling good. He bounced his way over to Brian and the gang.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." They kissed a friendly hello. "Why aren't you at home packing your lunch box for school tomorrow?"

"I don't need to I'm not going; I quit."

"You what?" Emmett asked shocked.

"What for?" Ted asked just as shocked.

"I can't draw anymore so what's the point in wasting my time when I can be here popping pills and drinking, sticking my gimp hand down guys' pants." Justin searched the crowd and snagged a guy by the waistband. "You wanna dance?"

"Fuck yeah!"

Justin laughed. "That was going to be my next question."

Justin led him away on the dance floor. He began dancing but he wasn't very into it.

"What's that all about?" Mikey asked looking in the direction Justin left with the trick.

"Pain management."

Brian broke away from the group and went after Justin. He pushed the trick aside. "Fuck off."

The trick left with no protest. Brian put his arms around Justin and they began to dance. Justin laid his head against Brian's chest.

"Let me guess, rough day?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Ok. you wanna get out of here? You don't look so well."

"Yeah, it's too hot in here."

Brian led him outside. The cool night air felt good. There was a light sheen of sweat on Justin's skin. Brian took him home and put him to bed. The kid was having a rough time and he didn't know how to make it better.

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Brian thought he had the solution to Justin's problems. When he saw that graphics computer at work he knew he had to get one for Justin. It cost a mint but Justin was worth it. It would be worth it if he could get back his ability to draw. He had it set up and running in no time. Justin was visiting Daphne. Maybe it would do him some good to talk to his best friend. Brian took out his frustrations on his body, working out till he was sweaty and exhausted. He picked himself off the floor when he heard the loft door open. Justin came staggering in obviously drunk.

"The lost boy returns."

Justin ignored him and headed to the fridge. He took out a water and poured it over his head in imitation of Brian on their first night. Brian dried him off with his towel.

"Feeling better?"

"Lots."

"How's Daphne?"

"She and her roommates had to study. Fortunately that's not my problem. I went to Woody's and let guys buy me drinks. They all wanted to fuck me. At least I still have my looks. I told them no. I'm saving that for you." Justin placed kisses all over Brian. He kissed his neck, but Brian pulled slightly away.

"Aren't you a sweetheart, later. Come see what I got you."

"What, a new butt plug?"

"Better, I saw it today at work."

Justin looked at the computer. He instantly turned cold.

"I'm not interested."

"You don't even know what it is."

"Sure I do; it's false hope."

Justin started stripping off his clothes and flinging them angrily everywhere.

"You can draw with it, same as a pen or pencil just much easier to control. Stop being a fucking princess and come give it a try."

"What for? To make you happy, so that you can tell yourself you fixed little Justin's problems and made everything all better. Well you can't fix this; no one can.

"So you're just gonna quit?"

"It's over all right, accept it. I'm not gonna draw again and no fucking electronic Crayola box is gonna fix that. So why don't you come fuck me before I pass out?"

Justin stormed off to the bedroom and flopped down on the bed. Brian sat where he was. He'd give himself and Justin a minute between rounds. Justin's mood swings were really beginning to drive him crazy. Brian rubbed his aching temples before he entered the bedroom. He expected to find Justin pissed off. What he saw was Justin curled up in bed quietly sobbing. Brian sat down beside him and rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"I'm so sorry, Brian. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I'm just so angry and frustrated. I feel like my fucking life is falling apart."

"It's ok, I understand. You needed to vent, feel better?"

Justin laughed. "Not really. Sometimes I wish Chris had killed me. When he took away my ability to draw it's like he ripped out my soul. I don't think I have to live if I can't draw."

"You'll draw again, Justin. I'll help you but fighting with me is not going to get you any closer to your goal."

"I know, thank you for the computer. I didn't mean to be such a brat. It's really expensive, you shouldn't have."

"Justin, I would do anything to get you to draw again even if it meant dropping a couple grand."

"I hope you can understand that I'm not ready for it yet. Give me some time then I'll give it a try."

Brian pressed a kiss to his forehead. "It'll be there waiting for you. I won't push you but how about I give you a nudge every so often if you get off track?"

Justin nodded. "Deal."

Brian tucked Justin in. He passed out from the combination of alcohol and mental exhaustion. Brian brushed his bangs away from his face and watched him sleep.

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Justin's mood hadn't really improved. He was slogging through his shift at the diner and he was getting tired.

Emmett clinked his coffee cup with his fork. "Hey more coffee, java boy."

Justin brought over the two pots holding them up for Emmett to choose. Unfortunately Emmett chose the one in his right hand. Justin started to pour the coffee but his hand started to tremble and he spilled some. At least no one got burned.

Debbie came over concerned. "Maybe you should give your hand a rest, Sunshine."

"Maybe you should mind your own fucking business."

Lindsay and Emmett looked on in shock.

"What did you just say to me?"

"You heard what I said."

"Yes I did, I just can't believe it. Justin, I know what happened to you sucks, but why don't you let me lend a hand pouring the hot stuff, ok?"

He nodded. "Deb, I'm sorry I talked to you like that. I've been taking it out on everyone lately. Last night Brian was the victim."

Debbie snorted. "That I would have liked to have seen. You're forgiven this time but you do it again I'll rip you a new butt hole."

Lindsay patted his shoulder. "Something tells me you need a break."

Justin smiled at her gratefully.

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Lindsay took him to an art gallery show. It was one of the last places he wanted to be. He didn't want to be reminded that he no longer had the ability to draw. When he met Lindsay's friend who also happened to be the artist who had done the paintings he knew what she was doing. It could have been a lot worse for him but it wasn't. Adrienne could barely move at all and yet she was still an artist. It made him wonder what the hell he was complaining about. He couldn't believe it when she gifted him with one of her paintings. He promised himself he'd put forth the effort to try harder.

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Justin sat on the couch with his legs draped over the arm staring at the painting he'd been given. He stared at it till the colors were a blur of meaningless color. As background noise he could hear the patter of Brian's shower. He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there but it felt like hours. He wanted so badly to start drawing, he just didn't know how or where to start.

Justin heard the shower turn off. Brian came out in nothing but a towel. Brian snagged a green apple and flopped down on the bed. He grabbed his switchblade and began to cut the apple. Justin watched him and the desire to draw him was burning inside. He got up and went over to the computer that was still turned on. He tentatively picked up the electronic pen and began the outlines of Brian's body. At first it didn't look like much but then it started to take shape. While it was different it really was art.

Justin caught on to Brian fairly quickly. He knew what was going on. Brian was casually posing for him. He was eating that apple way too slowly and he avoided all eye contact with him, even though he was facing him. The way Brian casually glanced around the loft like no one was here was so fake. Justin wanted to laugh but he was in the zone. He was creating something and it would be special because it would be his first drawing. It would be something that he would always be proud of.

He spent the next few hours dabbling with his drawing, getting it just the way he liked it. Justin accustomed himself with the graphics programs that were installed by trial and error. Finally he was ready to call it a night and give Brian a reward for being such a good model. He stripped off his clothes as he headed for the bedroom. Brian finally let his gaze meet Justin's as he entered the bedroom nude.

"I'm so on to you. Who do you think you're fooling? You just so happen to pose yourself on the bed and make an apple last for at least an hour."

Brian grinned up at him. "It worked, didn't it?"

"What can I say; I can't resist your body."

Justin crawled on the bed. He pushed Brian onto his back and ripped open the towel. Justin leaned forward taking Brian's dick between his parted lips. He deep throated Brian, could feel the tip of his cock against the back of his throat. He used his throat muscles to milk his cock. Justin brought Brian to the edge and then released his straining cock from the confines of his mouth. The spit slick shaft glistened under the blue lights.

He settled himself on Brian's thighs. Brian handed him a condom that Justin smoothed down his hard shaft. Justin's hand snaked under a pillow to grab the lube. He coated his fingers, pressing first one then two fingers into his rosy hole. Justin put on a show for Brian. He played with his ass moaning as he found his sweet spot.

Justin scooted forward and grasped Brian's cock placing the tip at his willing hole. He pressed down till the tip was in and gave it a squeeze before plunging down the rest of the way filling himself with nine inches of hard cock. Justin set the pace with long even strokes. He tightened his muscles on every up stroke. Brian's hands rested on Justin's hips. Justin's eyes fluttered shut as he took his dripping cock in his hand and matched the strokes of his ass to that of his hand.

Justin could feel the familiar tingle begin in his ass. Brian was close. He could feel Brian's cock expanding in the walls of his hole. Just then Justin shot his load sending streams of cum shooting over Brian's body. It splattered against his chest, neck and face. Justin's ass clenched with his spasms.

Brian shot his load with a roar. He felt like his spunk was rocket fuel. He never came so hard in his life. He felt some of his cum seep out of the opening. He'd filled it to capacity. Justin rolled off him and Brian took care of the very full condom. Under the sheets they gravitated back towards each other and fell blissfully asleep under the blue lights.

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