IMPRESSION: COCK FIGHT

 

 

MICHAEL'S POV


After Ben and I got back together, I wanted to know more about his Jewish heritage. I'm Italian and heritage is everything! I'm Italian first and gay second. Ben tossed off Yiddish words now and then and I'd ask him what they meant and he'd tell me. The few fleeting references to his family were....well, they kinda reminded me of Brian.....so, I never pushed it.

I turned to Linds. Linds taught me about having a Jewish partner-history, traditions, words, holidays, food, and a lot more. We privately laughed our asses off at ourselves: the spectacle of a blonde WASP woman and a dark Italian guy having expressions like mazel tov and kena hora and (my favorite) mishpocheh pop out of our mouths with ease as if it was our birthright. Hey, it happens when you're a goy with a Jewish partner!
 

.........................
 


During the whole Juice Pig situation, Ben and I were arguing constantly - me yelling and Ben trying to be so Zen and above it all. Hey, I'm Italian and queer and yelling is part of my birthright! Although I didn't learn about Ben trying to shove Brian through the gym locker until the next day, Ben and I got into another huge fight when he returned home from the incident later that night.

I was yelling and then Ben hissed and spat at me: "Feh! Shiksa!" thinking I didn't know what it meant. But I did know. Linds told me what those words meant and that they were the cruelest words Mel ever said to her.

IT SENT MY COMIC LOVING, ITALIAN DRAG QUEEN BLOOD INTO WARP OVERDRIVE. The fucker was deliberately taunting me with Yiddish words he thought I didn't understand, treating me like a stupid little plaything, and trying to intimidate me with his steroid addled fake calm and his physical presence.

I did the most violent Italian thing I could think of. I quickly wiped the back of my right hand over my throat and flipped it underneath my chin in the classic Italian "fuck you and suffer and die in Hell motherfucker" curse. I had never done that to anyone before. Not even Brian.

Ma had taught me never to do that - she said the curse always comes back on you somehow. I remember Ma doing that only one time: When her sister wouldn't accept me because I was gay and wanted Ma to keep her "pervert son" away from her perfect little communion wafer eating, blood of Christ drinking angels. The Italian Catholic guilt Ma tried to spare me from - she suffered from it because she believed the curse she'd laid against her sister came back on Uncle Vic.

What ensued was a cock fight between a fourth generation, born to yell, comic book loving, Italian American man hurling all the insulting Italian words he knew (those were the only ones I bothered to learn), mixed with English profanity and text from years of reading how superheroes defeated villains, and a well educated, pretending to be Zen, Buddhism practicing, vegan, steroid using, HIV+ Jewish man hurling all the insulting words he knew in Asian and Hindi and Yiddish and English.

Ben knew more languages than me and he'd read "literature," but he was no match for me in the yelling and gesticulating department. I'm Italian and nobody is better at that shit!

I brought out the most deadly weapon from my comic book arsenal: Kryptonite. The only thing that weakens Superman and brings him to his knees.

Windmilling my arms wildly, I screamed the final ‘cartoon bubble' of insults meant to destroy: "Meshugener! Oh, yeah! Didn't think I knew that word, did ya, Roid Man?! Meshugener! Meshugener! "

Ben got a look in his eyes that probably should have frightened me, but I was just too fucking pissed off to care. He crashed out of the apartment, throwing the door open so hard that it broke the drywall. I didn't know where he was going and I didn't give a shit. I slammed the door closed equally hard and broke the door jamb. I didn't see Ben again until late the following night.

In the meantime, I found out about Ben trying to shove Brian through the gym locker in a roid rage.

That's when I donned my Superhero Sidekick mask.

When Ben finally came home that night, I confronted him. I stared into his eyes and teased a supposedly used needle against my vein. Ben didn't know that the needle was fresh and unused and that I had no intention of ever deliberately infecting myself. I could never do that to Ma or Uncle Vic - or myself.

Me and Justin are a lot alike. We both play cute and sweet and innocent and toss in a bit of danger to get what we want. And both of us ALWAYS get our way.

A gazillion thoughts were flashing through my mind. I was PISSED and DETERMINED.

I swear, I appreciate the sanctity of life more than Ma, Ben, or all my friends combined. A beloved uncle with AIDS. A close friend lying in the hospital from a drug overdose - because he took a tweaked out twinkie home with him. My best friend with a white silk scarf tightly wound around his neck, hanging from a rafter with a huge boner - because he thought turning 30 made him irrelevant. (WHAT THE FUCK?!?! I'd already turned 30, but I wasn't irrelevant to him. But then, I didn't have as much to lose.) My Ma collapsing at the diner from too many years of hard work - alone with no one to partner her. A teenaged blond boy laying comatose in a hospital room with thick bandages surrounding his shattered skull. An HIV+ lover.

SHIT!! Doesn't anyone else besides me remember this stuff? And everyone thinks I'm simple-minded?!?! Gimme a fucking break. I swear, I think I'm smarter and braver and stronger than all of them. When I'm pissed and determined, I feel INVINCIBLE.

"Stop doing this shit! Stop doing this to yourself! Stop doing this to US! Decide! Is THIS your Kryptonite? Or am I?"

Of course, Ben chose me. Once again, I got my way. Ben may have read more "literature," but he didn't know what I knew. Despite every evil SuperVillain, the larger than life Superhero's ultimate Kryptonite is the smaller, tighter Superhero Sidekick at his side.

To this day, no one knows about that night. That's between me and Ben and it's nobody else's fuckin' business. No matter what happens in the future, I'll carry that particular volume and chapter of me and Ben's lives to my Superhero Sidekick grave.



Chapter End Notes:

Credits: I know that a lot of people know the meaning of these words, but it always bothers me when a fanfic writer makes assumptions. "An ounce of pretension is worth a pound of manure."

Definitions: mazel tov (good luck); kena hora (to prevent something bad from happening after you say something good has happened); mishpocheh (family); goy (not Jewish); feh shiksa (spits at the non-Jewish woman, used derogatorily. It has the connotation of "young and beautiful." Referring to a man's Gentile wife or girlfriend as a shiksa implies that his primary attraction was her good looks.); meshugener (crazy man)

 

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