Trick or Truth

Author's Note: There was one trick among the hundreds that Brian Kinney never forgot. He came to mean much more to Brian than a mere trick. While Justin had no worries, Michael did worry.

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"I just thought you should know, you've got a lump on your left testicle. If I were you, I'd have it checked out. The sooner the better."

Those words set the trick apart from all the others. The words and the face of the man that uttered them were branded forever in Brian's mind.

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Several months later Brian saw the man again at Babylon. He followed the former trick with his eyes for the better part of the night. When he saw the man by himself at the bar, he went there, too. After a moment of hesitation Brian positioned himself by the man at the bar to order a drink.

"Hey."

The man turned to Brian and returned the greeting. He was a bit surprised. Brian Kinney did not greet his former tricks; that was known and sort of accepted. He remembered their previous encounter, and his findings. He couldn't think of mentioning anything about that now. He didn't know what to think.

"I don't remember your name."

The man wasn't really surprised about that. Kinney never asked the names of his tricks. He never remembered their names. Why should he be any different?

"Shane, well actually Trent Jensen, but Shane I'm called." He knew he was babbling.

"Come on, Trent Jensen, let's sit down."

Now, this was odd. He went with Kinney anyway. They found a table that offered them a little privacy among the throng of men partying the night away.

"I've wanted to thank you."

"Huh?" Thank him? For what, he wondered.

"Yeah. Who knows how much longer it would have taken to find out something was wrong if you hadn't noticed it."

Well, that was true. "Hope it wasn't malignant?" Apparently, they were not going to mention what 'it' was.

"Thanks for hoping, but it was."

"Shit!" Cancer? That was not a compatible image with Kinney.

"You can say that again."

"How are you now? It has been treated, right?" He found himself having a very sincere hope that Kinney was fine.

"It's been taken care of. I'm gonna be alright."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that." And he really was glad; it was not just a conventional saying.

"Well, that was what I wanted to say. See you around."

"See ya." Shane stared at Kinney's receding back.

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About a year later Shane got a surprise at work. The name Brian Kinney was on his patient list of the day. He had seen the man several times since their meeting at Babylon, but they hadn't talked to each other beyond the polite greetings. That the man might come to his office as a patient; that he never had even contemplated. He was intrigued. But then maybe there was another man by that name?

"Hey, Doc."

It was the man, the Kinney. He looked as good as always. Shane had never seen the man in business attire before. It did nothing to reduce his sex appeal. He felt the corners of his mouth curling up.

"Hey, Kinney. I'm surprised to meet you here." Well, it was a surprise. A welcome one, though.

"My former urologist moved out of town, out of state actually. He recommended you. Taking into account that you already have sucked my cock and balls, is it really surprising that I've come to you for further examination?"

"Put like that…" Kinney's grin was contagious.

For the next fifteen minutes, he found his job particularly interesting and enjoyable. For starters he was presented with the sight of the gorgeous man undressing himself. Kinney shed his gently shimmering slate gray jacket of soft wool and put it on the back of the chair showing off his black shirt that clung to his upper body and arms like a lover. Next he removed the shirt taking his time with buttons, with folding the garment carefully. Then he kicked of his shoes and bent down to take off his socks. Damn, the man had nice feet. Not to mention the rippling muscles of his back. He felt his mouth watering. Kinney straightened up and unfastened his belt and unzipped his pants. He wanted to drool. He glanced at Kinney's eyes just to find them directed at him, glittering with mirth.

"You do know that you don't need to take off all your clothes, don't you?" he felt compelled to ask.

"I know," the insufferable man purred.

"Damn you, Kinney. You know exactly what you're doing to me!" Insufferable.

"Complaints?"

"I try to preserve my image of professionalism here. You're not helping, you know."

And Kinney wasn't, considering that he, at that particular moment, let his pants drop to pool around his ankles. He found it ever harder to keep the track of the conversation. Of course, Kinney had to come to the doctor's appointment wearing no underwear.

"You didn't need to remove all your clothes." Without noticing doing so, he repeated his former words as he watched Kinney step away from the pants he had just shed.

"Yeah, Doc. You're just interested to in getting me to drop my pants, I know."

"Stop that, Kinney." He felt his cheeks burning.

"Me wearing just shirt and socks. Would that turn you on, Doc?"

"Kinney!"

"What an interesting shade of red, Doc."

"It's no wonder your former doctor moved out of state, Kinney!" The man had suffered Kinney for how long? Poor, poor man.

"My former doctor never had that color on his face, Doc."

"Would you please leave me the shreds of my dignity, Kinney!" As if there was any left, anyway.

"As much as you leave of mine to me, Doc."

Hearing his patient's suddenly serious tone of voice, he looked at Kinney's eyes. The man was standing in front of him buck naked, but he seemed comfortable in his skin. Well, Kinney was in no way a modest man, that fact was well established around Liberty Avenue. In the glittering eyes there was a message, a warning. To his surprise, he understood that the situation was not easy to the king stud of Liberty Avenue, regardless of his bravado. Kinney would be vulnerable to him to a certain extent. He would know things that were intimate. He would have access to Kinney's body in ways that were intrusive, in ways that Kinney would have to resign himself to. Kinney was a celebrity, one of the main celebrities around the community, and the gossipmongers loved to spread anything about him around. Kinney's personality was not one to attract sympathy, quite the opposite. The more derogatory the gossip the more it would be circulated.

"I hear you, man. I believe in your ability to give me a hard time. But I honor my vows as a practitioner of my profession. I won't betray your trust." He had no intention of eating his word. Of course not. He was a doctor, a professional.

"That is a promise, Doc. I don't take a promise lightly, you better remember that."

Kinney's voice was dead serious now. He wondered what he might be referring to, but, somehow, he was sure that it would not have been appreciated if he had asked about it. He had made the promise without thinking more about it. It was obvious that his promise had not been received with the same attitude. He felt the obligation settle on him, he knew he would be held to his promise.

"I will, Kinney. And I promise that I won't tell anyone that you wear beneath your business attire underpants printed with Easter bunnies," He grinned trying to ease the tension in the room.

"OK, Doc. Then I can promise not to tell anybody that your work makes you hard."

"Busted. My work definitely can make me hard. But I think that my work could be hard, too." Actually the man was fun to deal with.

"Why not. Maybe your work will be."

"Let's get this started. I can't wait any longer to get my hands on your genitals." Absolute truth, that. He grinned.

The examination was fun for both of the participants. They came out of it laughing and flustered.

"I think it is my turn to examine a little, Doc." Kinney pulled his new doctor in for a kiss that was anything but chaste. "Thanks, Trent Jensen. I think my visits to my doctor have just taken a turn for the better."

"Take care, Kinney. I want you back in my hands next time as healthy as today."

The men parted, both having a warm feeling of something good happening in their lives. Doctor Jensen told his receptionist that he would take a break of ten minutes.

"Mary Ann, you better put in Brian Kinney's file that after his appointments there must always be a half hour break for me!" The expression on the girl's face was indescribable. Shane smiled as he shut the door behind him.

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Along with Shane and Brian's professional interactions their lives begun to intertwine also in their free time. It was a natural development; both of the men frequented the same bars and clubs. The polite greetings they had previously shared became exchanges of news. The two were found more and more often drawn into conversation, the time and place forgotten when they saw each other.

Michael, Ted and Emmett were walking the little distance from Woody's to Babylon one night when they spotted Brian and Shane coming out of a little restaurant. Michael watched them walk together with a frown on his face.

"What is Brian doing? I called him earlier to ask him to come with us, but he said he had something else to do," he whined.

"I think we may well know what something else he is doing," Ted said in dry tones.

"Oh, Ted," Emmett chimed in, "don't you think that Brian should've said that he had someone else to do."

"Guys!" Michael was irritated. The guys were not taking the situation seriously. "That is that doc of his. He wouldn't fuck his doctor. Why is he seeing him in some restaurant? He can't be sick again, can he?"

"Maybe they are on a date! Maybe we have just been the eyewitnesses of Brian Kinney taking someone on a date!" Emmett pretended to enthuse.

"Emmett! Brian doesn't do dates. Never has, never will." Ted and Emmett, both, rolled their eyes.

"What about his lunch dates with Justin?" Ted pointed out.

"What about them, Ted," Michael said quickly. "It's just Justin. They eat together all the time."

"But he doesn't like it if we disturb them on those dates," Ted remembered. "What was it that he said the other day, Emmett? When we tried to join them at the diner?"

"We are having a lunch, a private lunch if you don't mind." Emmett quoted Brian's words.

"Nice imitation, Em. Yes, that's what he said. Sounds awfully lot like a date to me, Michael," Ted said smugly.

"Probably they had to discuss about some account or something like that, a work related thing. Of course it wasn't a date." Michael did not like to think about Brian and Justin having dates. "But it doesn't really matter now. What is he doing with his doctor? I couldn't stand it if he was sick again. What if the cancer has returned?"

"Michael, be real." Ted was getting pissed off. "Brian wouldn't talk about his health in a restaurant; the doctor's appointments are for that kind of conversations."

"Listen to Ted, Michael. Nothing's wrong with Brian."

"But they were in that restaurant!" Michael almost shouted.

"Yes?"

"It's not natural. Brian doesn't do dates!" How could his friends be so blind?

"Yeah, I know," Emmett said. "I bet Ted knows too. You're repeating yourself, you know, Michael."

"Michael!" Ted had got his fill of Michael's whining about Brian's current company. "Even Brian fucking Kinney must eat! He was in a restaurant. He met the man. Big deal."

While this conversation took place, the boys following the topic of their talk, Shane and Brian had reached their goal, Babylon. As they entered the club together Michael was about to explode.

"He said he had no time to meet with us, but here he is with that man!" he fumed.

"Michael, calm down," Ted hissed.

"Ted, he lied to me!"

"Michael! Listen to yourself," Emmett exclaimed. "You know as well as I do that Brian doesn't lie."

"But, Emmett. He said…"

"Yes, Michael. He said. We have heard it already." Also Emmett had reached his limit.

"Emmett, let it be. Michael, there have been hours since you talked to Brian. Much can have happened. Maybe he hadn't time, but it has changed, and he came here to meet us. You told him that we would be here after all. Come on. Let's get in there."

But Michael's night wasn't about to turn into better. Next thing, he spotted Brian on the dance floor. Dancing with Shane. First he was keeping up the belief that it was just a polite dance with an acquaintance, but he should have known better. He was observing Brian for God's sake. When has Brian Kinney done polite? As Michael kept watching the couple it came obvious even to him that the dance was just an appetizer for what was coming later. He watched as Brian lead Shane to the backroom.

Michael couldn't fucking believe it.

Later in the evening, after several drinks, Michael saw Shane in the bar. Brian was nowhere to be seen. Michael parked his ass on a stool beside Shane. For a minute he glared at the man without a word.

"You are Michael, Brian Kinney's friend, right?" Shane said, not really interested, but it seemed awkward to sit so close to the man without saying something.

"I'm…ik… yes, his friend. I'm his best friend-IK!" Hiccups somewhat ruined the effect of Michael's revelation.

"You've known him for long then?" Shane kept on the small talk.

"From-ik… from high school. We've been buddies for…ik… ever."

"Nice man." Shane was not talking about Brian Kinney.

"Nice my ass. You know shit about Brian. I'm his best friend. I know h-IK!"

Screw small talk. The man was sloshed. "You're not in too good a shape. Do you have someone to take you home?"

"You know shi-ik… about Brian. He doesn't need you. I'm his best friend. He needs me."

"Michael…" This was beyond stupid. He should just walk away.

"Brian doesn't do boyfriends-IK. Brian doesn't do dates. Never has, never will."

"Michael…" Why did he not walk away?

"What were you doin-ik… in that restaurant? Brian hadn't time to hang out with me tonight. Why was he wi-IK you in a restaurant?"

"We were having dinner." Not that it was any business of this little man.

"Why?"

"We were hungry." Duh?

"Brian doesn't do hungr-IK!"

"Michael, even I do hungry." Shane turned his eyes on the man behind the drunken man.

"BRIAN!"

"What, Mikey?"

"You came!"

"Several times, yes."

"Let's dance, Bri-IK!"

"You're drunk, Mikey."

"But I'm your drunk-IK."

"You're pathetic, Mikey," Brian said patiently. "Doc, I think it's best that I take Mikey home now, he won't be standing much longer on his own feet."

"You do that. See you next week, Brian." Shane turned to leave.

"Till then, doc," Brian said to the receding back.

"What are you seeing him for? I'm your best…ik… friend. You can see me," Michael slurred.

Shane shook his head. It was hard to imagine Brian and Michael being best friends. The whiney and clingy man that, from what little Shane had come to know him, Michael seemed to be didn't fit the image he had of Brian Kinney. But opposites attract was what people said. Maybe it was true after all.

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The relationship Brian was building with Shane was a hard bite for Michael to swallow. He was suspicious about Shane's intentions. He told Shane repeatedly that Brian would never be his boyfriend, that Brian would never even fuck him again. When Michael was drunk he whined about the time that Brian spent with Shane instead of him, Michael.

The worst for Michael was that he had no access to the relationship Brian and Shane shared. Brian didn't meet the man in the diner or Woody's where he could have invited himself to join them. Whenever he saw them at Babylon they parted ways immediately if he tried to talk to them. Michael knew almost nothing about the dynamics between the two men.

One night at Babylon, Michael watched Brian doing his thing as he had so many nights before(,) when Shane walked in. The man took a beeline to Brian as soon as he saw him on the dance floor. Shane interrupted Brian in the middle of seduction. On the contrary to Michael's supposition, Brian didn't blow up. After a brief talk he followed Shane out of the dance floor and out of the club. Michael was left to cook in his juices.

Shane took Brian to a bar nearby, little place that did not attract crowds. The place was ideal for a little tête-à-tête.

"You sound nervous, Doc."

"I told you it would be something personal. It's not easy to get started, okay." He took a sip from his glass.

"Just say it. You'll survive."

"You won't laugh?" He was so damn nervous.

"That I can't promise."

"Not helping, Kinney." But it actually did. He could but smile at the man.

"Actually you seem less anxious to me."

"I might want you to answer a personal question." Better to kick the ball to Kinney's corner.

"Are you trying to squirm out of this, Doc? This was your idea, you know."

Shane ordered another beer for them both.

"Enough of stalling, Doc. Shoot."

"I've found somebody I'm very interested in, Kinney," he confessed.

"And you run it by me, why?"

"He is a lot like you," he said picturing in his mind his love interest.

"Meaning?"

"Damn. Why am I doing this? I can't do this." He did not know anymore why he had wanted to talk about his budding affair with Kinney.

"You're already up your ears in it, Doc, whatever it is. Go on. He is a lot like me, meaning…"

"Promiscuous." He said it. Now let the shit hit the fan.

"Oh."

What was that. Oh. That was not the reaction he was counting on. "He isn't interested in monogamy, just like you."

"So far I don't see how I can help you, Doc."

"I'm wondering if you could clear some things up for me." He gulped down the beer still in his bottle and ordered another round. "I mean, you having the same attitudes must have insights that would help me decide if I'm going to waste my time with him."

"Are you asking me to share my feelings with you, Doc?"

"Something like that. Maybe more your reasonings than your feelings."

Not a little thing to ask of Brian Kinney. He thought about it for a moment.

"Ask." Kinney decided after a minute. "I decide if I have an answer to give when I have heard the question. Shoot."

He better start asking his questions right away or give it up altogether. "You trick a lot but you live with Justin. Is he lacking something, why the tricks?"

"Justin lacks nothing. It's not about him at all. It's about me, not him. It's about what I lack."

"Brian. I don't understand."

"Doc." Kinney looked at his hand circling his bottle. "I'm not good with emotional stuff. I'm not on the first name basis with my feelings. Most of my life I've been stunting emotions as much as I've been able to do. I deny I have them. I've wanted to feel nothing. More than anything that is what I do when I trick. I need sex to burn away feelings."

"That sounds awful, Brian."

"That's what I do."

"Are you always feeling so bad?" He felt so inadequate. What could he say in answer to what Brian had revealed about himself?

"Doc, I told you I don't recognize my feelings." Brian turned his head away.

It took Shane a moment to process what he had heard. "All emotions that shake you out of balance make you anxious."

Brian stayed quiet.

"Brian. May I ask you something very personal?"

"Even more personal, Doc?"

He stopped for a moment, but decided to go on. "Brian, does what you feel for Justin make you anxious? Because I'm sure you have feelings for him."

"Doc, I'm fucking terrified!" came out of Brian's mouth before he could put the lid on the words. His eyes rushed to Shane's. His face turned deep red as he stared at him in shock. Brian tried to escape, but Shane pushed his friend back to his chair.

"Brian! Don't. Calm down." What had he done?

"I…" Brian was shutting down, he saw.

"Brian. Remember the first time you came to my practice. I made you a promise then. You remember, what I promised to you?" There was no time to think. He could just act.

"The promise… You promised not to betray me."

"Yes, Brian. You told me that you would hold me to my promise. This is the time to invoke that promise, Brian. Now."

Brian looked at Shane. He took his time.

Finally Brian said in very quiet tone, "You won't use what you know against me. You're not going to hurt me."

Shane saw in Brian's eyes someone who knew all too well how his weaknesses and fears could be used against him, someone who has been hurt too often by people he has trusted.

"I won't betray your trust, Brian Kinney. I will never betray you."

"Trent, you're a good friend. Justin is my best friend, but you're not far behind."

For the rest of the night the two talked about Shane's promiscuous man. Shane found out a lot about promiscuity he had not been aware of, and Brian had a chance to unburden his heart to a friend who really understood his promiscuity. For them both, their friendship had become one of the best things they had in their lives.

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