Thorns of the Daffodils

Chapter 5

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Brian's POV

I admire Justin's confidence, but at the same time it confuses me. He confuses me. I feel guilty over the kiss we shared because I liked it. In the past I would never have given a rat's ass who I kissed, or fucked, but since William everything and everyone is different. I never thought one person could affect me so much. William was my every breath and the only reason I lived. I looked forward to falling asleep with him at night and waking with him in the morning.

Now that he's gone I realize I never told him how much he meant to me. I was so scared of being rejected that I hurt the one person who ever gave a shit. I hold the picture Justin handed me and I clinch it tight in my fist, wishing William was back in my arms. If only I could turn back time, but I can't, and I am left with my regret, which I always swore I would never had.

I am startled out of my thoughts when I feel Justin's tender touch upon my back, rubbing ever so gently. My breath hitches from the sensations he brings to me. Justin's kiss, moments before, was soft and full of unspoken promises. Yet deep inside I am angry at myself for wanting him so much. I have this overwhelming urge to fuck him. I need Justin to help me to forget the pain of losing the only man I ever loved.

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Justin's POV

Brian seems lost in thought. His pain and anguish are evident by his posture. When he turns to look at me I see the hollowness inside his hazel eyes, and I gently caress my fingertips over the abrasion on his cheek. He seems startled and I know now is not the time to ask him what happened in the alleyway. Standing up, I kiss him lightly on the lips. "You better get some sleep. I'll see you at work tomorrow." Brian nods his head in agreement then wraps his hand around the back of my neck, drawing me into a deep passionate kiss full of lust and desire. My heart beats rapidly as the kiss becomes more aggressive. Brian nips at my lip and I moan as the satisfying pain flows through me.

Instinctively, I straddle his hips, pressing my hard, cloth covered cock against his. Brian's breath hitches when I push him onto the bed. I brush my hand under his shirt, caressing my fingers over his abdomen, up to his chest, gently pinching his nipples. Brian's eyes fly open, and hunger fills them as he pulls me down to kiss him again. Forcefully he flips me off of him and onto the bed, straddling my hips. We gaze into each other's souls, panting breathlessly. Brian leans forward and nips at my neck as he whispers huskily in my ear. "I need to forget."

Suddenly reality hits me and reluctantly I push Brian off of me. "What did you say?"

Brian hesitates for a moment, swallowing hard, then clears his throat. "I need to forget."

I close my eyes, feeling my heart breaking, but I have to ask. "You need to forget what, exactly?"

I can see the tears threatening to flow over his lashes. "Everything."

Gently, I caress his cheek and he leans into my touch. "Brian I can't do this. I can't just be a fuck to you. When we are finally able to be together I want it to mean something to the both of us, and not just as an outlet for your pain." Brian just watches me without saying a word. His silence speaks volumes.

Regretfully, I move out from underneath him and get up. Before I leave I lean over giving him a tender kiss on the lips and speak softly. "I want this, but not for the wrong reasons." Brian's pain pierces through my soul and with all of my being I want to help him forget, but I know it will only make things worse for him and myself.

When I walk out of the room I notice Marilyn is home and fixing some tea. "Hi," I say rather timidly.

She smiles at me. "I see Brandy got home safely." Then she looks at me knowingly "I also see that you made sure she got into bed, and tucked in nice and cozy," she replies almost sarcastically.

I clear my throat. "Oh shit, I forgot to call you." I purposely ignore her last statement.

She shrugs her shoulders. "So when are you going to tell me about your ghostly visit?"

I am a little surprised by her comment, but not too put off. Marilyn always seems to know more that I want her to know. "There is nothing to tell."

She sets her cup down and speaks softly. "He came to me too."

I swallow heavily. "What does he want?"

"To make sure Brian is safe." She looks at me with sorrow in her eyes. "I am so sorry I got you involved in this mess, Justin."

I lay my hand over hers." Please don't be sorry. I want to help, and plus, I really like Brian."

"He showed you who he really is, didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"How come you didn't sleep with him?"

"Because it wasn't right. He only wanted to numb his pain and I already know I want more than that. I feel very connected to him."

She nods her head and I see the sadness in her spirit. "You're a wise man. I wish I knew better when I was younger." She clears her throat. "Anyway that's in the past."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know that you and Brian were in a relationship before."

She shakes her head. "No, we were just friends who made a mistake that ruined our friendship for many years." She smiles slightly. "But he is here now. I've missed him dearly. Please be

careful with his heart."

"I will."

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Brian's POV

I lay upon the bed feeling raw and vulnerable. I close my eyes, pulling the pillow close to me and hugging it tightly to my chest. Instinctively I curl into the fetal position; a safe place I can always go when things get rough for me. I clench my eyes tight when I feel fingers brushing through my hair, and I know it's William. I let my tears flow as I remember how this nightmare began three months ago.

Flashback

I wake up realizing I fell asleep before William even got home from work. I sigh a breath of relief when I notice his reading light is on. I turn to my side to look at my lover and my heart aches when I see the stress shadowing his features. He clenches the book in his hand tightly. Carefully I scoot close and kiss him soundly on the lips. William smiles at me and relaxes a little.

I jiggle the edge of the book playfully. "What are you reading that has you all tense?"

He laughs then speaks hesitantly, "Oh nothing, just a book."

I nod my head, not quite believing him. Gently I lift the book out of his hands and look at the cover. I raise my eyebrow. "You're reading about folklore and mythology of vampires? That's not your usual bedtime reading material. You usually go for the classics."

He clears his throat, taking the book from me, and carefully marks the page, setting it on the bedside table. "Just a little reading for work is all." He bites his lower lip and closes his eyes,

waiting for my next question, which he knows I will ask.

"I thought you were a police detective. Since when did you start working for the X-Files?" I comment sarcastically.

He laughs softly. " Leave it to you to crack a joke when I'm stressed."

"Who's joking? Sounds to me like you're avoiding the subject."

William turns to his side and smiles at me affectionately. "I'm not avoiding the subject. It's just complicated." I stare at him pointedly, waiting for a clearer explanation. He squirms a bit. "Brian, you know I can't talk to you about work."

I kiss him delicately on the forehead. "Then you should never have mentioned it was work related. Plus, who the fuck would I tell?"

William takes a deep breath. "There is nothing to tell really. I just believe the murder case I am working on involves some sort of occult vampire group."

I raise my brow again. "You think vampires exist?"

He laughs. "No, not in the supernatural sense, but I do believe there are people who think they are vampires, that do harm to others."

"You do realize that is totally fucked up?"

"Our world is fucked up, Brian. I see the aftermath of it every day."

Gently I caress the troubled wrinkle in his brow and speak softly "Come here?" He smiles slightly, and then wraps himself around my body, laying his head upon my chest.

End of Flashback

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