Cauldrons, Ice and Old Lace

Chapter 8

Author's Notes:  Hello, my lovelies, I am so sorry this chapter has taken so long to get to you. I had an unfortunate misfortune and lost several pages to this chapter. I was so devastated I had a difficult time getting my ass back into gear. I soon realized it was Spirit's way of telling me I needed to write the chapter differently and I will admit I love this better. I sure hope it was worth the wait. Thank you all for your love, support and reviews. You all rock my world.

Many thanks to my wonderful Beta Thyme who makes my stories readable and beautiful. This has been a very difficult week on so many levels. I know I could not have gotten through it without my friends on facebook and tumblr and also my husband who never gave up on my writing when I did. Thank you all so much (((Hugs))

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Bella / Annabel

Dream/ flashback continued  

Even though it was frightening to learn everything at such a young age I am thankful grandfather told us before it was too late. It was only a matter of days before our world began to change drastically. The memories of grandfather and our tribe slowly began to fade from my thoughts.

Looking around the sacred circle, I feel the dread of the days to come befall me. My heart clinches tightly in pain when I think of my beautiful children and how much I want to be there for them. It is going to be so difficult to pull away from my love and not tell him why. I know he will be absolutely devastated. It nearly killed his spirit when our children were taken from us all those centauries ago. The worst thing that could ever happen to a parent is to have their children vanish from their existence.

Looking up into the sky I take in a deep breath and gaze upon the triple goddess moon. It brings me so much comfort to think of home and my family here, and there. This has been a long journey to get to where we are now. Even though I am dreading what is to come I am so relieved to know we are entering into the final stages of this nightmare we have been existing in. So much has been lost and all I can hold onto is the hope that so much more will be gained.

I turn around when I hear footsteps crunching through the fallen leaves. Through a haze of fog I see my beloved holding tightly onto Goddess Diana’s hand. The only way he is permitted in this sacred circle is through Spirit's intervention. I know through past experiences that she needs to hold his hand to be able pass him through the spirit realms traveling across time and space. He has only been permitted in here once before. That was shortly after our children were taken from us. Goddess Diana gave my beloved the gift of being able to feel others around him, their emotions and pain, and also to be able to detect the presence  of others no matter what they are - Spirit, human or another supernatural being. He is also able to reflect and change other emotions and/or physical sensations, including pain or exhaustion, which I am so thankful for. It’s his gift of being an empath that brought him back to me after so many years of being apart.

A gasp parts from my lips. When I look more closely at Goddess Diana, she looks more ethereal than usual. Her eyes glow like lights. A bright smile graces her face. Her light green gown flows freely around her. The ever present bow and arrow is securely strapped over one shoulder and her back.

My eyes drift to Jasper. He’s the most amazing creature I have ever seen. A gasp parts from his lips when he sees me. Venom begins to pool in his eyes as he projects his feeling to me.  Fear that turns into relief, realization, then to total and complete love and devotion. Goddess Diana whispers in his ear then squeezes his hand.

Jasper nods his head then walks over to me. Without a word he wraps one of his arms around my waist, placing the palm of his hand on my lower back drawing me in close to him. His other hand lovingly touches my face as his amber eyes pierce deep into my soul. My love speaks to me ever so softly. “I am so glad you told me that she was coming to bring me here to meet you. Even though I knew, I still had this overwhelming unsettling feeling that something was not right. I have never been so fucking scared in my whole existence.” Tenderly he caresses his thumb over my lips and I gasp. His touch always makes me tingle all over. “Please tell me why I am here. Does this have to do with the visions Alice has been having about the war coming?”

Gently I place my hands on his beautiful face. He leans into my touch lovingly. I feel my own emotions welling up inside me and I can’t bear to answer the question. It hurts too much, especially knowing what is to come, that we will be ripped apart for so long.

I speak to him softly, “There is only so much I can say right at this moment, my beloved. I need you to trust me. Do you trust me?”

He closes his eyes in defeat and squeezes my hands firmly while he whispers softly, “With everything that is in me.”

It's killing me inside to ask my love if he trusts me. How can I ask him such a thing when I don’t even trust myself right now? Yet he trusts me without any hesitation. The guilt rising inside of me is overwhelming at the thought that I am about to deceive the man I love. Sacrifice everything I have, everything I know, for uncertainty and hope in finding our children. I can hear their voices whispering in the winds late at night, calling for me. As I stand in this sacred circle their cries of torture penetrate my mind. Even though this hurts more than I thought possible, I know if I do not take the risk I will regret it. That’s why I brought my beloved here today.  I want to make sure that no matter what happens to me or to him  that our souls will always be connected. There are places a soul can journey that are so dark and vile, consumed by fear and self loathing, that it is difficult for the spirit to return to the light. I could not bare an eternity without my beloved.

No matter how much I doubt myself, Spirit reminds me that I am doing what needs to be done to bring the prophesies to the forefront. Leading us to the final stages of our destinies.  I have always been so connected to the earth, nature, the world around me. Magic runs deep within my veins. It’s just as important to me as breathing. I do not know any other way of being. I find myself wanting to give it up so I can hold onto the one person who has always been there for me besides my sister. I am so fucking scared. I have no idea what to expect beyond my death. How do I know I am being led in the right direction? I hate doubting myself, doubting Spirit. I have never done that before. I just feel so alone, with so many entities around me.

I am drawn out of my thoughts when I feel Jasper's cool fingers gently caressing a tear from my cheek. “You're not alone, my love. I don’t know why you feel that way? If it’s about trusting you, I have so much faith in you.”

Closing my eyes tightly, I feel my emotions quake through my body. My heart feels so heavy and the emotional pain that is pressing angrily on my chest is all consuming. Delicately I rest my hand over his, cradling it with the side of my face. Sobs rack through my whole being as Jasper lovingly draws me into his sweet embrace. He holds me tight as I let my emotions flow through me freely. When I finally get the courage to speak, my voice quivers in panic. “What if I told you when you leave this sacred circle tonight, you will forget everything that happened, and only when the time is right will you remember. Do you still trust me?”

Jasper draws back from me projecting his feelings of sadness and confusion. He closes his eyes while taking in a deep breath. Before my eyes his whole mannerism changes and I feel his expectations concerning the situation. Jasper then opens his eyes, and I see the soldier that I have always loved giving him strength. “I am under the impression I have no choice in this matter so all I ask of you is one concession and then I will willingly walk away from here knowing nothing until the time is right.”  He looks deep into my eyes penetrating my soul. There is sorrow and acceptance in his voice when he speaks to me. “I know you, Annabel Swan. I might not like this but I know you well enough to know everything you do is out of  love whether you believe that or not.” He takes my hands in his once again. “I always knew there was a dark secret you kept close to your heart. Please tell me so you can give your own burdens release, even temporarily.”

A gasp parts from my lips. “How did you know, and how have I been blessed with such an amazing man as yourself?”

He laughs slightly. “Have you forgotten, my dear, that you're mated to an empath?”

He kisses me chastely on the lips. I smile at my love. “No, I never forgot,” I reply sheepishly. “I just thought I hid it better.”

He shakes his head at me. “No, my beloved, but I knew it was something you needed to keep in your heart. It has plagued me and tormented me for years, knowing you were hurting.” Tenderly he caresses my face with the back of his fingers. “I love you, Annabel, please do not deny me my request.”

Looking into his amber eyes I am drawn into his love. Gently I glide my hand around the back of his neck as I stand on my tiptoes. Drawing him into a sweet and tender kiss, his lips dance passionately against mine. Pulling back slightly, I whisper, “I could never deny you, my love.”

My heart feels so heavy knowing what I am about to share with him. Delicately I rest my hand on his forehead. Jasper watches me in anticipation and his eyes grow wide when he sees how I am going to share everything with him. I guide my other hand to his forehead and tenderly massage his forehead with my thumbs. Closing my eyes I speak softly. “From this point you will know everything I know, but when you walk away from this circle all memories will be lost until the time is right for them to resurface. For your safety and mental health I will also take away the knowledge you had that I have been keeping something from you. I can’t bear to see you hurt over something you are unable to know yet.”

Taking another deep breath I chant, calling upon all the gods and goddesses to give us both strength to get through our time apart. I am slightly startled when I feel a hand on my own forehead. I look up to see Goddess Diana looking at me with so much love. Her eyes draw me in; they have a purity of so much love and knowledge. They glow with an intensity that reaches across time and space. She then places her other hand over my hands that are on Jasper's forehead. When she speaks, her voice is haunted and sounds unearthly. “This, my children, is the bonding you are here to receive.” She looks at me with so much sorrow. “I know you were not expecting to give Jasper your memories tonight, and I am sorry if I have misled you in any way. It was all for the better good. You have done everything up until this point to prevent him from knowing or suffering, which was the right thing to do. Now it is time to release it - let him see for a brief moment in time what has been, what will be. This moment here and now had always been predestined. This will link your souls together forever. You will share everything from this point on, even if the other is not aware of it. You will now be mated in mind, body and spirit in all ways possible.”

Diana then looks to my beloved who is being so strong considering the strange and unusual circumstances. That’s what I love so much about my beloved, he takes everything as it comes and he holds strong no matter what. How he survived the vampire wars, I will never know. That is the only thing that is giving me hope that we will get through this. He has more courage and strength than anyone I know. I just stand there in awe. All I can see right now is the soldier he has been over the years.

Goddess Diana speaks with authority and appreciation. “Jasper Whitlock, you my child, have had a rough road to get to where you are now.  Everything that has happened to you and that you have been through is what has made you the man you are today. You were always predestined to become a vampire, to lead us into the last war that will change everything. It will not be this war. The war that is to come is our turning point. Not only will you and your beloved be bonded and joined together completely, Annabel has a gift I have given her years ago to give to you when the time is right. You will not actually be able to use it until much later on. When it is time, you will know and you will concur.” 

Jasper nods his head in understanding.

Goddess Diana smiles at us both as her whole body begins to glow. “It is now time.”  She speaks with an unworldly power as she firmly presses her hands over mine that are on Jasper's forehead. Blue electrical currents spark from her hands and a tingling sensation bursts through my whole body and soul. It feels like every cell in my body is crackling to life.  Jasper's eyes lock with mine. The trust and love he is projecting to me is so beautiful. My beloved then closes his eyes letting my memories penetrate through his thoughts. I show him every memory I have ever had from all my lifetimes. Our relationships, our loves, our lives and our losses. The look of awe, wonder, and then complete horror on my beloved's face breaks my heart. He lets out a gasp of total and complete understanding and knowledge ... and devastation. 

Goddess Diana begins to speak in an ancient tongue. The words that roll from her lips sound musical and hypnotizing to my heart and soul. Jasper slowly relaxes his body and unconsciously reaches his hands to my arms and begins caressing them intimately. Moaning slightly, I feel the sensation of his touch vibrating through me, making me feel so whole. When I look into his eyes I see the venom pooling in them. Gently his nails scrape against my flesh, lightly bringing me pleasure, pain and serenity. The current passing through us is overwhelming. It feels as though our souls, minds and bodies are physically one. I had no idea it would feel this way. Feel so amazing. Having him so connected to me. I felt my own tears welling in my eyes. When I look at him through blurry vision, he is glowing, and I can see in the refection of his eyes that I am glowing as well. Golden beams radiate from our united souls.

I smile when I see Jasper is not only glowing golden beams, but his vampiric skin is glistening like crystallized rainbows. Leaning my head back I see the sun now shining. I have no idea how long we have been here. Time seems to move so rapidly yet so slowly. I look to the Goddess to see that she is also glowing and vibrating with serenity.

Diana lets go of my hands that are on Jasper's forehead and speaks to me firmly. “My child, now place your hands on his chest and give Jasper the gift he is to receive this day.”

I place my hands flatly upon his chest and look him directly in the eyes. “I am so sorry my love, this might hurt a bit.”

He nods his head in acknowledgment. And whispers softly, “I trust you, my love.”

Taking a deep breath I close my eyes and begin to chant in an ancient tongue. Heat flows through my whole body like liquid fire. Reopening my eyes I look down to see my hands glowing red. Jasper lets go of my arms suddenly. A groan parts from his lips as he arches his back and cries out in pain.  Hot fluid seeps through my fingertips, penetrating through his marbled skin, seeping into his cold dead heart, and for a split moment I hear it beat.                          

My visions and dreams of the past slowly fade. I know I am in between sleep and awake. I do not want to wake completely and leave my love. It has been so long since I have touched him. When Annabel shared her past with Jasper I remembered everything as well. I realize we truly are one in the same.  No matter how unbelievable that thought may be.

Suddenly I remember running in the forest and shifting. I sigh happily in my sleep remembering that my beloved is back. I want to laugh and cry when I hear his words penetrate my exhausted thoughts. I purr lightly when I feel my beloved brushing his fingers through my fur softly, as he speaks to me lovingly. “I have missed you so much, my love. I never thought I would be able to see you again. You’re my whole heart, my world, my mate, my forever.” Smiling at his words I feel so safe being near him, but there is still a little doubt in me that this is real even though I know it is, it has to be. Unconsciously I stretch out my body and shift back to my human form.

I nuzzle slightly into his touch trying to wake up but still unsure if I should. I do not remember feeling this happy in a long time. Even though I rested I can still feel his fingertips ghosting over my flesh causing a tingling sensation to rush through me, and more than anything I want to turn towards my beloved and passionately make love to him. It’s been so long since I felt his intimate touch, since our flesh was one. My body is calling out to him. By his touch alone I know he calls for mine as well. Gently Jasper runs his fingers through my hair. It touches my heart that he remembers how much I love that sensation. He always knows how to make me feel like a woman.

A soft moan parts from my lips and more than anything I want to see my love again. I hoped this is not a dream. Slowly I open my eyes and see my love for the first time with the memories I have now. This all seems so surreal to me and I look at him in awe and wonder. Unconsciously I reach my hand out to his face and caress his cheek tenderly, just to make sure he is real. When I whisper I can hear my emotions as I ask, “Are you a dream or a vision?”

He smiles down at me lovingly. “No.”

Nodding my head I ponder for a moment, and I want to make sure this is not a dream. “Am I a dream then?”

Jasper shakes his head and mirrors my touch by gently caressing my face. “Now why would you think you’re a dream, Darlin'?”

I laugh slightly. “Because knights in shining armor rescuing a maiden in distress only exist in fairytales or dreams.”

“Well I can guarantee this is not a fairytale or a dream.” There is so much love and concern in his amber eyes.

More than anything I want to tell my beloved that I remember everything, yet at the same time I am curious if he will open up to me and tell me the truth. Part of me just really needs to make sure this is real and not my own imagination making it all up. “Who are you, what are you and why am I not afraid of you?” Looking at my beloved I am reminded of the hell he went through, and his scars I know have always haunted him. Tenderly I caress the scars that grace his body. My heart aches for him all over again. “What happened to you?”

Gently he places his hand over mine to stop the movement as he laughs slightly. “So many questions. My name is Jasper Whitlock which you already know.” I nod my head in understanding. “As for the scars they are a reminder of a time in my existence I wish did not happen. I spent over a century fighting in the southern vampire wars.” A gasp parts from my lips. I look at my beloved in awe and amazement. I am so relieved that he took the risk and told me the truth, not caring what the consequences may be. He is completely following his heart and I love that about my beloved. I nod my head in encouragement for him to continue. “In the end I am thankful because they led me to you. I would spend an eternity in hell just to have a moment with you.”

Tenderly I caress my fingertips against his cool lips. “Well now, that makes a hell of a lot of sense. But that does not explain why I am not scared of you.”

Lovingly he gathers my hands in his own and gently kisses my knuckles. “Because, my dear, we have met before.”

I shake my head teasingly. “That’s what those silly flowers said. They told me we met once upon a dream.” I smile at him wickedly “I know that’s not true though.” I try desperately not to laugh by biting my lower lip.

He gulps heavily and asks, “Why do you think that?”

Tenderly I squeeze his hands with my own. “Because, my beloved, I remember everything. You, us, our past.”

His eyes widen in joy and confusion. “Annabel?”

Giggling softly I nod my head. “At one time that was the name I went by, but now it’s Bella.”

Our emotions are all consuming for both of us. Jasper looks deep into my eyes then projects everything he is feeling at that moment. I have never felt so much love in my entire existence. Lovingly he looks deep into my eyes. “May I kiss you, my beloved?”

My heart completely melts. “I thought you would never ask.”

The love flowing though us makes my whole body tingle. Tenderly he caresses the back of his fingertips on my cheek and leans into me. When his cool lips dance against my own I know I have found what I have unknowingly been searching for.

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