Cauldrons, Ice and Old Lace
Chapter 1
Warning: Anything is possible so read at your own risk. Strong possibility of slash in the future *wink*.
Authors Notes: Thank you to my amazing beta, Thyme, for polishing up my story and making it look beautiful! I would also like to thank my husband Kevin and dear Friend Dagny for their love, support, encouragement and honesty while writing this story.
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Bella’s POV
Slowly I walk through my grandmother Ruby’s home. It feel’s so lonely and desolate without her presence here. My heart aches and the pain inside of my chest is so excruciating, that it is difficult for me to breathe. I sit down on the old sofa that’s covered with a black and maroon afghan, her scent lingers in the air; lavender and vanilla consume me. Closing my eyes tightly I let the tears fall; my thoughts drift to her graveside funeral just hours ago.
My grandmother was my whole world, she was my Grandmother, mother and best friend. I could tell her anything. She never judged or ridiculed me. She was a free spirit much like myself. I look around the graveyard and it bothers me to know it’s just me and my dad standing there in the rain as her casket is lowered into the earth. Part of me wishes more people were here, but to be honest we are very solitary people and it works for us. It’s just sad the rest of the world did not see and appreciate the amazing woman she was. I look over to Charlie and he wraps his arm around my shoulder and I can see the tears in his eyes. I love my father dearly but I would never say we were close. He sent me to live with my grandmother when I was 5 because he was too depressed and consumed by his own darkness to raise me after my mother was killed instantly in a car crash. I wish I could remember my mother, especially today.
My dad squeezes my shoulder lightly and he speaks so softly it’s almost hard for me to hear him. “I’m so sorry, Bells, I wish I could have been the father you needed me to be. I… I...”
I turn to him taking his rough calloused hands in my own. “Charlie, I mean dad, please don’t do this.” He looks at me in shock so I continue, “You did the best you could. You were hurting, and honestly you did the right thing. Grandma gave me the life you were unable to, she understood me. Today I not only mourn my grandmother but my best friend.” I squeeze his hands lovingly. “So please never apologize for letting me have the life I deserved that you were unable to give me at the time.”
My dad has never been very affectionate so it surprises me when he wraps his arms around me and just breaks down. I clasp onto him tightly shedding my own tears. He whispers so softly, “Thank you.” He chuckles softly through his sobs. “You're so smart for being so young.”
As I pull away, I smile weakly. “I get that from you, plus I’m not that young; I’ll be 21 in two months.” I wipe my tears away as he does the same. His voice is full of emotion as he chuckles softly. “You're all grown up.“ He clears his throat and speaks again, nervously. “Would you like to go grab something to eat?” I shake my head no. He nods his head in understanding. “Do you want to come stay in your old room for a few days?”
I shake my head no again. “I just want to go home, but thanks.”
He nods his head in understanding but we both stand there awkwardly as the small drizzle of rain continues to chill our skin and dampen our clothes. He swallows hard. “Okay, but remember I am just two miles away if you need anything, anything at all.”
“Yeah I know, dad, thanks.” I give him another awkward hug before we part ways.
Suddenly I am drawn out of my thoughts when I feel the presence of my grandmother sitting on the sofa next to me. I close my eyes even tighter letting the tears fall as my heart clenches in my chest. I had hoped I would sense her nearby. I have always been able to see spirits who have passed away, but I was not sure if I would be able to see a loved one. I never saw my own mother. Slowly my eyes open in fear that I would not see her and in anticipation that I might.
I open my eye’s fully and look next to me and the feeling of disappointment penetrates through my soul. I look forward and a gasp parts my lips as I notice a lit joint laying in the ashtray on the coffee table. I’m startled even more when suddenly the CD player starts to play all by itself. The song Halah from Mazy Star plays, soothing to my ears and soul. Chuckling softly to myself I reach over and grab the joint, bringing it to my lips. I inhale deeply then close my eyes as I lean back against the sofa letting the smoke drift from my lips. I shake my head and laugh then whisper into thin air. “Grams, only you would come back from the other side to smoke a joint with me.”
In my mind's eye I can see her laughing and reaching for the joint. The tears fall from my closed eyes as I take another drag. I hear her whisper so softly that it sounds almost like a soft breath of wind, “Now is not the time for tears, it’s time to remember because life is too short, shorter than you think.”
I gulp loudly knowing exactly what memory she wants me to reflect on. I love this memory; it’s one of my favorite moments with my grandmother. But I'm confused by the urgency I hear at the end of the whisper. It was my 16th birthday. I was sitting on this very sofa with my legs curled to my side, doing my homework and just trying to avoid the day altogether. I hate when anyone made a fuss over me, so I tend to hide in the shadows.
Grandma sat next to me kicking her heels up on the coffee table I looked at her. Grams' beauty always amazed me. For a woman in her sixties she looked to be much younger to me, and she smiled mischievously. She pulled out a joint and lit it, inhaling it deeply. I always new Grams smoked from time to time but she always made sure I was not nearby. I looked at her in shock. “What are you doing?”
She laughed softly. “Bella my dear, sometimes I think you're more of an adult than I am. I’m smoking some weed. What does it look like?” I open and close my mouth not really knowing what to say. She laughs again and hands it to me. I hold it awkwardly in my hand. She nudges her shoulder against mine. “Now hold it to your lips and suck it in.”
I look at the strange object in my hand and pass it back to her. “Um, no, but thank you.”
She smiles at me. “You're such a sweet girl.” She shrugs her shoulder and winks at me. “More for me then. You know I was a young woman like yourself when my twin sister Annabel and I smoked for the first time.” She chuckled softly seeming lost in her own thoughts.
I look at her in expectation. She barely ever talked about her twin sister and when she did I cherished every moment. I know it’s very difficult for her to speak of Annabel. I don't know much about her, I do know that she passed away many years ago. Grams never told me how it happened just that it was unexpected and sudden. I have always been scared to ask any more details because deep down inside myself I feel so frightened, and the fear is so close like a black cloud hanging over my head. When it pours I am petrified of the truth that lurks in the shadows. I looked at her waiting and wanting her to tell me more about Annabel with the sense that if I learned more about her life I would find out the secrets of my own heart and soul.
She takes another drag and leans her head back. “We must have been your age. Honestly it was so long ago I forget our ages. I do recall it was the beginning of free love and all that good stuff. We would sneak out into the forest with a bottle of wine and some weed in the pockets of our dresses. Not that those dresses stayed on long.” She winks at me and smiles mischievously. “There were always so many free spirits, singing, dancing around a bonfire and just enjoying themselves. We always had to be careful though. And stay clear of the Cullen home.”
My ears perk up and unconsciously I reach for the joint in grandmother's hand, inhaling deeply until I sputter and cough. She chuckles softly, “Careful there, Honey, this is pure, not like that shit the kids these days smoke. I grow mine myself,” she confesses very boastfully then looks at me pointedly. “Never ever smoke anything anyone at school may give you. You never know what kind of shit they cut in with it.” I nod in agreement.
She takes another drag and smiles. “Where was I? Oh yes. We all had to be careful of the old Cullen home.”
I grab the weed, taking another drag and being more successful this time. “Why did you have to be careful? I mean, it was abandoned, right?”
“Most of the time, during that period an old couple was renting it, and they were the biggest pains in our asses. The old man would run out with a gun and chase us kids off.”
“That must have been creepy.“
“Kind of but he was more or less just a stuffy old bastard who didn't know how to let loose and have some fun.”
Suddenly an obscure thought pops into my head and before I can think it through I say it. “Weren’t they afraid to rent that place? I mean it’s haunted, right?”
Grams laughed joyously. “Are those old rumors still floating around?”
I'm honestly shocked. The stories seemed so real, almost like legends in a way. “Rumors?”
“Oh, you mean the one where one of the Cullen boys lost it and murdered the whole family?” I nod my head. “Or how about this one? They all mysteriously just disappeared. Rumor has it Alice’s boyfriend had been threatening the family, and the sheriff was only able to find the sister Alice’s body three days later, decapitated 5 miles away from their home.” She laughs again. “I really love the one where Papa Cullen, you know he was the doctor of this town, he was doing scientific experiments in their home, using his children as guinea pigs. He and his wife just left town, leaving three of their children brain dead. You know they had to ship them all to an asylum?”
I look at her in shock. “Those are all rumors?”
She laughs again and puts out the joint we had been sharing and goes to the kitchen. “I need some munchies!” she declares enthusiastically. For some odd reason I find that to be absolutely hilarious; I begin to laugh out of control realizing I am really hungry. She opens a bag of chips then grabs the ghostie cookie jar she keeps by the refrigerator, while I grab two sodas out of the fridge. We sit down at the small wooden dinner table. I open up the cookie jar and I can’t help the laughter as I look at the ghost head in my hand. I just shake my head and grab a mint cookie. My grandmother is so much fun and quirky with all the fun and strange items we have in our home. It’s definitely not traditional in any way shape or form.
After she takes a drink of soda she laughs and resumes our previous conversation. “My favorite rumor is the one about the house itself. When you go into the house you can hear it crying out it pain and the walls bleed. Did you know that you can find blood stains on the tiles if you look closely?” She laughs again. “That one actually is true, but not for reasons you think.” I raise my eyebrows in question but she waves it off. “A story for another time, my dear.”
After we eat in silence for awhile, then another rumor pops into my mind. “Grams, you forgot one rumor. I was told this real crazy story once, that the Cullen family sparkled in the sunlight, ate deer whole and ran really fast.“
She shakes her head slightly and I notice a strange look on her face, one that I have never seen before. She looks almost annoyed. “Hmmm, yeah, I heard that one once.” She takes hold of my hand and leads me into the living room. She turns on the CD player and instantly Halah by Mazy Star starts to play. We both sway to the music; she grabs hold of my hands and we swing around and dance together playfully laughing joyously.
“Are you telling me that those are all rumors?”
She smiles mischievously. “Almost every single one of them.”
I stop dancing and gasp, “How do you know that?”
“Well silly, because I am the one who started them, me and Annabel.” She gets that strange look on her face again and tilts her head to the side. She lets go of my hands but continues to sway to the music. “Except for the one about them sparkling.” Sadness enters her voice as she continues, “I never liked that one.”
I have so many questions in my head. “Why would you do that, make up rumors like that?”
When I look into Grams' eyes they shimmer unnaturally. Instead of answering my question she grabs hold of my hands again and brings me close. She swings me out, dancing and twirling to the music. I can tell something is on her mind and in time I know she will open up and talk about what she is thinking. It ends up being a lot sooner than I expected though. She stops dancing and just sways to the music. “Did I ever tell you I was in love once?”
I shake my head no and take a guess. “ With my grandfather?”
She seems so amused when I ask her. “Oh no, but he was a very fun distraction. No, I was in love with Edward Cullen, and my sister, she was in love with Jasper Cullen. Twins in love with brothers; it was perfect.” There was a dreamy look of longing that sparkled in her green eyes.
I stand there dazed and a little bit confused. “What? Why would you make up rumors about someone you loved?” Then it really dawns on me. “Hey, wait a second, they lived here like over 80 years ago.”
She has an impish smirk cross her lips. “Did they now?”
“There is no way in hell you're that old!”
She smiles and grabs hold of the side of her long skirt with her fingertips, fanning out her skirt as she spins in a circle. She stops and chuckles softly. She lightly bites the bottom of her lips then speaks in a mysterious tone. “Looks can be very deceiving, dear.”
I'm feeling more and more perplexed. “How old are you, Grams.”
Swaying to the music she appears to be in a trance as she speaks calmly. “Older than dirt, dear, older than dirt indeed.”
I'm starting to get slightly agitated because nothing is making any sense to me. I don't know if it's the pot I smoked with Grams or if everything around me is not as it seems to be. “You never answered my question. Why would you make up those rumors?”
Suddenly she stops dancing and a serious expression crosses over her face. The look in her eyes is cold and haunted, and it absolutely frightens me. “Because the truth, my dear granddaughter, is far beyond anything any mere mortal could possibly fathom, let alone comprehend. Some things are best left in silence.” She shuts her eyes tightly and takes a deep breath. When she opens her eyes again, the sadness that reflects back at me tugs at my heart. “I did what I had to do to protect the ones I love… even losing myself and the one I loved with all my heart and soul.” The glow that starts to suddenly form in her eyes is ethereal as her face and voice soften. “We would have done anything, and did, to protect them. Even at the cost of our own sanity.”
We stand there in silence as the music continues to play, just collecting our thoughts. After a few moments she smiles at me reassuringly, and then takes hold of my hand. “No more sadness!” she says with hope in her voice. “Tonight is a night of celebration. It's your birthday.” I groan loudly and she laughs. “Come on, I have something I want to show you. I have a special surprise for you.”
I smile when I notice she is taking me on our path that leads into the forest. One thing I love about grandmother, she is a free spirit and from day one she always taught me about her faith and her spiritual walk. She and I are both Eclectic witches. We both follow the beat of our own hearts. Grams has all ways taught me to respect all faiths, because in the most part we all want peace, love, understanding and compassion. Not all of course, there are dark paths out in our world that long for destruction, hatred and deviation. She has also taught me to respect them, as well, and learn how to protect myself from the darkness that seems to always lurk in the shadows.
Walking deeper into the forest, the smell of earth and evergreens flows all around us, soothing my soul. We often walk out into the small clearing in the forest to celebrate the earth and all of her beauty to pay respect to our Goddesses, spirit guides and the elements. Sometimes we just come out here to feel alive while listening to the wildlife and breathing in the plant life. It makes me feel so whole, being out in nature. I smile to myself as Grams leads me further into the woods. I am startled slightly when we walk past our usual spot. The trees around us begin to clump together more. The moon above us is shining full and bright.
“Grams, where are we going?”
She turns to look at me and smiles. “Someplace very special and very magical.”
Drawing closer to our destination, I notice there’s a cobblestone pathway leading into a grove of trees. Walking through the trees I feel an electric pull that tingles throughout my whole body. I gasp rather loudly. Grams squeezes my hand gently.
“It’s ok. That’s just a protection, no unwanted beings or spirits are allowed in this sanctuary. “I nod my head in understanding and confusion. The trees fan out into a large yet complete circle. The only light reflecting on us is the full moon shining above us. When I look even closer, there are three moons. One is full with a crescent moon facing outward on each side. I feel my eyes widen. Grams waves her hand slightly in the air, and suddenly candles start to light rapidly in a magical circle. The sensation of love, peace and protection flows through me mythically. That is when I really notice our surroundings. The colors surrounding us seem so surreal, bright and glistening. The leaves on the trees are a bounty of colors that shimmer, rays casting off onto the ground, making rainbows. The trees are so close together I could not see any spaces in between them. It seems like we are completely cut off and protected from civilization.
She leads me into the center of the circle. I am painfully aware of being watched, and for a moment I question my own eyes. “Grams, did we drop acid or something?”
She claps her hands merrily. “No, but isn’t it a trip?!”
My eyes wander and I look at the outskirts of the circle to see mystical beings standing around us. Some are almost human in appearance, while others are beastlike. I am drawn to the beings that look angelic, their wings are golden and their skin so transparent they glow. I gasp when my eyes make direct contact with a beautiful massive red dragon. She is the most frightening yet amazing creature I have ever laid eyes on. She seems so familiar to me, but I am not sure why.
I hear grandma speaking to me. “The red Dragon is named Sasteia. She is your main guardian; she has always been with you from the beginning of time, from lifetime to lifetime.
Sasteia bows her head to me and then looks back up at me. At that moment I feel so protected, so loved.
Unexpectedly I feel an overwhelming sensation in my hair. It feels like something is tickling my scalp. I scrunch my shoulder, and then scratch my head with my fingertips. I hear childlike giggles and I see my grandmother laughing. “These, my dear, are the flower faeries, they keep us childlike and young.” We are completely surrounded by small flying beings that all look like flowers. One flies right up to me; she looks just like a daffodil. She is the most amazing creature. She has these goofy looking eyes and her mouth is the petals of the flower. Her body legs and arms are like the stems of a flower and its leaves. She takes her leaflike hands and pulls at her lips, blowing raspberries at me. I cannot help but giggle along with her. I laugh even harder when I notice her tongue also looks like a small green leaf.
“Are you sure you didn't drop some acid?” I ask my grandmother.
The little faerie claps her hands and laughs. “My name's Daffy!” she exclaims in a childlike voice.
My grandmother claps her hands and calls out, “Scoot, scoot, you silly faeries, now is the time to be serious.” They all moan like little kids but fly away back outside the circle. I can see every type of flower imaginable, all flying around.
I am drawn out of my musing by Grams' voice. “Bella, once again you have not taken any acid, but I understand why you would think so.” She smiles at me.” Every single being here tonight has gathered for your 16th birthday. Today is a very important day for all Swan women. Our 16th birthdays and our twenty-first birthdays are milestones in our lives, and very life changing. Today you receive a very important gift; it is of protection and transformation. If you accept this gift tonight, you become one with the spirit world even more so than you already are. After tonight you no longer age, you continue to live as long as you choose to use the gift you are given tonight. When you stop using this gift you will continue to age. The beings here tonight have always been with you in one form or another. They will still continue to guide you, but you are unable to see them unless you come back to this sanctuary. Unless they are extremely needed, they are to be protected from human eyes.”
I nod my head in agreement. “What happens if I decide to not take this gift?”
A sadness comes over Grams' face. “Then you will forget tonight ever happened, you will continue to live your life as you always have, you will age like every other human, your life will never fully feel complete, you will always feel something is missing in your life. And sadly in time you will be alone never feeling that you fit in anywhere. Darkness will consume you and in many ways you will have wished you had died.” Grams walks closer to me grasping my hands gently in hers. “My dear sweet Bella, I do not tell you these things to scare you. I just know you and I know your spirit and you will never feel whole. But you do not have to accept this gift, and I know you well enough that you will still live as full of a life as you possibly can. It’s just...”
I squeeze grandma’s hand. “It’s okay. I get it and I accept...”
She nods. “There is one more thing I need to tell you. Your transformation will be painful but this is the only time that you will feel such pain. Do you still accept.”
“Wait! Transform, what do you mean?”
Abruptly a thunder and lightning storm begins and I have trouble hearing her over the wind. I yell as loud as I can, “I don’t understand.”
She yells back over the brewing storm. “Follow your heart.”
Suddenly I take a blind step in faith. “I accept!”
Grams lets go of my hands and backs away. I look up to see a very tall being that wears a golden shield of armor . His arms are strong as he picks me up and cradles me in his arms like a child. His voice is strong and deep as he speaks. It sounds almost musical like the percussion of a band. “Do not be afraid, my child, I will protect you and absorb as much of your pain as I can. My name is Arsen. I am your archangel.”
The thunder seems to get louder and the lightning closer. Swiftly we are lifted up into the air and I cling to Arsen for dear life. He never says another word. I can only feel the warmth of his body, then out of the blue a bolt of lightning jolts through my body causing the most unbearable pain I have ever felt. Arsen's arms tighten around me and I feel the pain lessen slightly.
I am brought out of my musing of the past when I hear a loud banging on the front door. I gasp again as the pain in my heart arcs through my whole body with the memory that Grams is no longer with me. I am startled again when the knocking gets louder. I drop the lit joint on the sofa. “Oh Shit!” I pick it up and dust off the ashes and put it out in the ashtray. “ I’ll be right there,” I call out.
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