Absolution

Chapter 7

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Justin's POV

I stand outside the apartment building where I have lived with Ethan for the last few years and let out a huge sigh of relief. I know I am ready for a new start now, but I still feel torn inside. I just wanted to feel close to him and have him hold me one last time. When I huddled into his chest I was expecting him to push me away but instead he held me, he fucking held me. Four years is a long time to be with someone, whether it was good or bad it is still difficult to say goodbye.

I pick up my cell phone and call Daphne. She's been trying to get me to leave Ethan for some time now so I'm sure I can stay with her tonight. Though I'm not too happy with the idea of having to explain everything to her. I don't think I am quite ready for that yet. I call and get her machine so I leave a message as I begin to walk, not feeling safe to drive with all these thoughts spinning in my head.

I'm about a block from Daphne's when I realize I'm standing in front of Brian's building. I hadn't noticed before how close their buildings were. I see a light on in his window and longing to be near him I decide to just stop in and see him briefly.

I feel discombobulated and wonder if it is right to see him now in my present state of mind, but I'm drawn to him and I can't seem to stop myself. I walk up the stairs and knock gently on the door. I can hear laughter coming from inside and my heart sinks. Shit I should not be here. I hold my breath hoping the knock was not heard and start making my way back down the stairs when I hear the door open. I look up and see Brian. He is so handsome and his voice is soft as he speaks to me, "Justin where are you going?"

"Uh...I didn't mean to intrude. I can hear you have company. I can just talk to you tomorrow."

"Don't be silly, it's just Ruby and she knows about you. We were making popcorn. Why don't you come join us?" His eyes are full of concern as he waits for me to speak

"Brian I just wanted you to know that Ethan and I just broke up." My voice cracks as the tears I have been holding in spill over. I slump down on the staircase weeping. "Fuck! I should just go."

As I stand up I feel Brian's hand on my shoulder. "Justin don't run." He brings me into a tight embrace, "I'm glad you came back, I missed you. I'm sorry about you and Ethan. Are you going to be okay?"

Nodding my head I feel content in his embrace, "I am now that I'm in your arms."

He smiles at me and caresses my cheek with his warm hand. Leaning down he captures my lips in a sensual kiss and I wrap my hand around his neck to deepen it. I feel so safe as I release more tears into his healing serenity.

Brian's voice and eyes are full of love and concern, "It's late do you have a place to stay tonight?"

"I was on my way to Daphne's. I can stay with her."

Disappointment floods his hazel eyes and he places his hands on my hips; "Justin stay here tonight."

"Brian I don't know if that's such a good idea. I want to wait until you're sure you're ready."

He raises his hands cupping both sides of my face; "Justin we don't have to do anything if you stay. I'm not sure if I'm ready or when I will be, but I do know I need to be close to you tonight.

I cup my hands over his; "Ok I'll sleep on the sofa." I smile at him brightly wiping away the remains of my tears.

He lets out a husky laugh, "Ok." He gently runs his hands through my hair leaning down to kiss my neck he whispers in my ear, "I have a spare room that will be more comfortable though." His hot breath against my tender skin feels like it's melting my soul. I feel my growing erection and know it's going to be challenging to be in the same apartment with him and not jump him.

I kiss him tenderly on the lips clasping my hands around his; "We should go in and see Ruby before she gets suspicious."

Brian lets out a playful laugh kissing me on the cheek; "I know her she's been standing next to the door listening to every word and kiss."

As we walk in Ruby is leaning up against the counter nibbling on popcorn. She giggles; "I'll have you know I could hear everything from here except when you whispered." She winks at us and kisses us both on the cheek; "I better go. You two boys have fun now."

Brian playfully pushes her out the door; "toodles," she waves as he shuts the door. We can hear her wicked laugh echo as she makes her way downstairs.

I walk up to Brian and wrap my arms around his waist and his arms naturally drape around my neck and shoulders. He smiles at me lovingly as he guides me to the sofa.

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Brian's POV

We sit and talk for awhile snacking on popcorn. The more I talk to him the harder I feel myself falling. I never thought I could meet anyone I might even consider loving, but he makes it so easy. I want to touch him, to feel him close to me but I am so frightened to take that step.

Before heading to our separate rooms for the night he asks if he can use the shower. I show him the spare room and bathroom then kiss him good night. Justin's smile is so bright as he pulls me close. I can feel his heart pounding rapidly against my chest. I kiss him once more on the nose and he chuckles softly, "good night sunshine," I smile at him and head to my room.

Laying in my bed I hear the water running. I wish I was in there with him caressing every part of his beautiful body. After the water turns off I hear him padding back to his room. I let out a sigh and turn on my side watching the clock, willing my erection to go down.

Time around me seems to be moving so slowly. It's already 2am and I've been laying here for an hour just thinking of Justin. I sit up at the edge of my bed running my fingers through my hair. I try to psyche myself into getting up courage to go to Justin. I know if I do I will end up making love with him. I stand abruptly and put on my silk robe, making myself go to him.

The apartment is dark and quiet and I grab a nearby candle and light it. Shadows eerily dance on the walls providing an interesting backdrop as I slowly open the door to my future.

The light of the candle flickers through the darkness and as I stand in his doorway I feel a lump in my throat. I gasp at the handsome man before me; he is so beautiful in the candlelight that is illuminating him. All I can do is stare at his bare chest that is gleaming in the soft orange glow.

He smiles shyly as he props himself up on his elbows; "Brian what are you doing?"

As I place the candle on the dresser he watches me longingly and pulls down the covers. I sit on the edge of the bed and turn my head to him; "I was having trouble sleeping. I couldn't stop thinking about you," he ducks his head and I can tell he is blushing.

Justin lets out a seductive laugh; "I have to confess I was thinking of you as well, hoping you would sneak into my room." His voice is husky and I feel my cock get hard instantly. There's movement on the bed and I feel warm arms wrap around me as he leans his head on my shoulder, nuzzling into my neck and kissing it tenderly. He unties my robe slowly as he guides the silk off my shoulders, nibbling on my tender flash. He plants soft kisses on the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I let out a moan when I feel his tongue tracing down my torso. The sensation is heaven and his warm hands and soft touch penetrate my soul.

Running his tongue back up my spine to my ear I turn my head and capture him in a passionate kiss. I move my body to face him, placing my hand upon his cheek. He lets out a moan as my tongue gains entrance into his mouth as we explore each other's taste. We move to the center of the bed, both on our knees. Our arms are wrapped around each other and we never lose contact as we move. His hand is on my neck with his thumb rubbing gently as he lays me down.

He places soft kisses on my chest, swirling around one of my nipples with his tongue then sucks it gently. I entwine my fingers through his hair and a soft gasp escapes his lips. He moves back up to kiss me sweetly on the lips as he whispers; "Brian do you want me to stop?"

I'm in a haze of ecstasy, my body full of lust and I pull him to me more forcefully; "no, I want you to make love to me. I want to feel you."

Justin caresses my face tenderly and smiles at me as I lean into each touch. He starts spreading kisses down my body then hooks his fingers into my briefs bringing them down slowly. I lift my hips and he slides them off me. I gasp as my hard cock is released into the cool air. Then his warm hand is touching my dick sending tingling sensations through my body. He bends down and cups my balls gently in his hand. I let out a groan as his sensual lips suck tenderly. I feel my eyes roll in the back of my head as the sensation grows stronger. Arching my back I let out an animalistic grunt as he takes all of my manhood into his mouth. "Aaaaaahhhhh Justin," is all I can get out. My breathing is haggard as I lightly pull his hair and gently thrust my hips. I can feel the smile spread on his lips as he sends me to an even more pleasurable state.

Taking me out of his mouth Justin crawls up my body and I can feel his full erection pressing firmly into my skin. He speaks softly in my ear while gently pushing my shoulder; "Brian turn over on your stomach." His tone is heavy and full of lust; his words panted more than spoken.

He kisses my back trailing downwards as he sends a sensual sensation throughout my whole being until he reaches the crack of my ass. He parts my cheeks and begins kissing inside.

I start up in shock, "Justin?"

His voice is reassuring and soft, "There's no need to be embarrassed Brian. I want to pleasure you in every way possible." Then he buries his face into my ass and I am overwhelmed by the feeling of him against my hole. I grip the sheets as his moist tongue enters me, resting my head on the pillow I let this new sensation flow through me. I am unable to think; with his warm mouth breathing into me, sending tingling shivers through my body. His mouth travels back up my body and he whispers in my ear," roll back over." I look into his eyes and see they are dark blue and full of lust. He kisses me on the lips again; "I want to make love to you Brian more than any thing in the world. I'm going to talk you through it ok? I don't want you to be scared. If you want me to stop then tell me and I will."

I devour his lips with mine for a moment then pull away to answer him; "Justin please make love to me. I never wanted anything more than I want you right now." I see he is blushing and I feel that I am too.

Slipping off his briefs he reaches into his jacket pocket for lube and a condom then gently places a pillow under my hips. "I won't lie to you Brian, it hurts at first but I swear it does get better." I nod my head in understanding. He heats the lube in his hands; "Put your legs around my hips and keep eye contact with me. I can see in your eyes if you are feeling pleasure or pain. I want this experience to be one you will always remember." He kisses me on the nose and I let out a nervous laugh.

Justin talks me through each ministration as he enters one finger inside me. Letting out a gasp I smile, pushing back against him as he places gentle kisses onto my belly. Still speaking softly he enters a second finger my body tenses slightly at the new sensation as I let out another gasp. He looks at me with concern and places his hand on my stomach massaging away the uncomfortable feeling. Eventually I push back onto his fingers and he smiles as he thrusts them in and slowly begins to open me. He begins to stroke my cock with his other hand and I arch even more as I let out a grunt of pleasure.

Justin leans over to kiss me and I grip his back with my fingers moaning with each thrust of pain that turns in to pleasure. Taking his fingers out he continues kissing me tenderly as I run my hand down his back and hips. I move my hand to his cock and he smiles brightly then moans as I stroke him. He lets out a laugh and whispers in my ear; "I wasn't expecting you to do that. It feels nice." I smile back as I lick and kiss his neck loving the feeling of his hardness in my palm. He pulls away and looks down at me with the brightest smile.

"What?" I ask, slightly blushing.

"I am so in love with you Brian," he whispers passionately. I feel the air in my lungs escaping me as a gentle warmth fills my heart. No one has ever said those words to me with such desire and meant them.

A single tear falls down my cheek and he kisses it away. "Justin I don't know what to say. I...,"

He gently brushes his fingers over my lips; "you don't have to say anything. I know how you feel by just looking in your eyes." He leans down and kisses me deeply. "I'm going to make love to you." He strokes his hands through my hair and I see the mist covering his eyes. He opens the condom and I help him put it on. He squirts more lube on his fingers and slips them inside me again stretching me until I am moaning for more. Wrapping my legs tight around his hips he positions his cock against my awaiting hole.

"Brian take a deep breath, let it out and relax." I do as he says and feel his cock entering me slowly. I let out a hoarse cry as I feel the pain rushing through my body. He leans down and kisses me catching my cries with his mouth. He stops to let me adjust then moves slowly into me an inch at a time until I am completely filled. I throw my head back panting and he kisses my neck. Gripping the sheets tightly I begin to relax as he moves to devourer my lips. I grab his ass to pull him closer and then he urgently begins to thrust.

Our emotions melt into each other as our bodies and spirits merge into one. In the rhythm of our souls I have never felt anything so painful and so wonderful at the same time.

I knead my fingers into his flesh and he moans out my name; "Oh God Brian. I have never felt this... oh my God!" He lets out an animalistic cry as my ass clamps around his cock and I release my seed. I am loudly calling his name in an orgasmic groan and he soon follows with his own release.

He slumps his hot, sweaty body against me in exhaustion. I hear him whimper as he pulls out of me. I gasp and my body begins to slightly shake as a cold chill flows though me. Justin brings me closer to him as I lay shivering in his arms. He gently caresses my hair, kissing my forehead and face; "It's OK Brian your body is just reacting and adjusting to the new sensation." He kisses me again and cuddles me close, pulling the blankets over us

All of this is so new to me. I know Justin is right, my body is adjusting, but that's not the only reason I am trembling. I am so frightened of what is going to happen next. I can't let him know that in the morning I fear I might regret this, even though it feels so right to be with him like this.

Justin buries his head into my neck and I feel tears against my flesh. "Justin are you ok?"

He looks at me with red eyes and I begin to worry as I wipe the tears and hair from his face.

"I'm okay, I've never felt better. I have never felt so connected to another soul. I never expected these emotions that you bring out in me. I am so in love with you and all this is happing so fast."

I rub his neck trying to reassure him and myself. I kiss his ear then whisper; "I need you more than I thought possible." As I say it I realize that it's true, I do need him. I just hope I can be strong enough to continue with this relationship.

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