How to Help

Brian and Justin were finishing dinner in the loft. Justin was clearing away the dishes when Brian gave voice to something he had noticed while they were eating. "Baby, you're nervous as a cat right now. Something is bothering you. You know I'm here and I want to help if I can."

"And you are going to get the chance, Brian," Justin told him. "It always helps me to talk things over with you. I didn't want to bother you while we were eating but how about lighting the fireplace and I'll be in as soon as the dishwasher is loaded."

Brian did that and waited, but when Justin joined him, nothing was said for a while. Brian just let things be until Justin was ready to talk.

Finally Justin began, "Malcolm's back, Bri," he told him.

"Already?" Brian responded with some surprise, "I thought he wasn't due back for another month or so."

"He wasn't," Justin confirmed, "But he said he just had to get out of Italy. It's that business with Carlo."

"The old guy he was stalking?" Brian remembered. "He must have been chasing him for six weeks or so. That's a lifetime commitment for Malcolm. Do you think he was serious about the guy?"

"Even fickle guys can really fall in love, I think, Sweetheart, and Carlo is not that old. He's just about your age," Justin told him, "Anyhow, Malcolm is really down right now and I'm not sure what to do for him."

"But you will do something for him, won't you?" Brian asked the kid, "Or at least try your darnedest. Everybody's problem is your problem."

"Don't yell at me, Brian," Justin answered, "I can't help it. That's the way I am."

"I'm not yelling at you," Brian pulled Justin closer to himself, "I know that's the way you are and I love you for it. That and a lot of other things."

"Brian," Justin stated, "That could be me where Malcolm is now. I was lucky to find you the first time around, but I would never have settled for less than the best guy in the world. I could have had to go from guy to guy looking for you, but I just happened to find you right away."

"How come when our meeting on Liberty Avenue is a 'pick-up' it was me who picked you up, and when it's 'finding one another' it's you who found me?" Brian wanted to know.

"The reasoning there is very subtle and I'll be glad to explain it to you sometime," Justin smiled at him, "But let's work on Malcolm's situation right now."

"In other words you need time to figure out how to answer my question, but OK, you are right about Malcolm. There are a lot of similarities between us and Malcolm's situation." Brian told him, "What if it had been Malcolm I picked up under the lamppost on Liberty Avenue? I might have done that. He's cute enough - and then it could have been him stalking me instead of you. That would have been awful."

"Seems to me you thought me stalking you was awful too," Justin laughed, and Brian was glad to see his twink's state of mind improving.

"I'm not so sure I did, though," Brian admitted in response.

"What did you just say?" Justin jumped on that statement, "And what did you mean? I really want to know."

"I bet you do, but the answer's pretty subtle." Brian responded with a smile, "We should certainly discuss it some time and we will, but we need to concentrate on Malcolm right now, don't we?"

"Most often, Brian, you are a help with my problems, and you are being a help right now," Justin pointed out, "But sometimes you can also be a distraction. Do you know that?"

"Yep," Brian admitted, "But that's the way I am. I can't help it if I distract you sometimes."

"I was not complaining, Honey," Justin clarified his statement, "Just telling you how it is."

"Thank you, Baby," Brian ran his hands through Justin's hair, "You distract me sometimes too and I don't mind either. But what do you want to do about Malcolm?"

"I think he's got to find somebody else. He needs to do that himself and I hope it will be soon. I just want to support him till he does." Justin explained, "I don't really think it will be too long. I thought maybe he was ready to hit on me today but he didn't. He just needs somebody to talk to. Malcolm has a lot of ex-boyfriends but not many real friends he can depend on. Not like you have Mikey and I have Daphne - and we have each other."

"Invite him over here," Brian suggested, "We can entertain him and I can do my own check to see if he's hitting on you."

"Don't get mad at me, Brian," Justin replied cautiously, "But actually I want to keep him away from you. You're too close to Carlo's age, and in his current state, that might appeal to him."

"In his current state?" Brian laughed, "If he was normal he wouldn't be interested in me but in his current state he might be. Maybe you're just afraid of the competition?"

"No Dearie," Justin joked back, "I'm just trying to save you from the awful fate of having Malcolm come after you. If Malcolm moved in on you though and took you away from me, I'd just have to go out and look for some other old guy. I'd rather not though. I don't think I could find anyone nearly as good. You have a way of cheering me up and making me look at things realistically. And I guess I'm also seriously in love with you - seriously and, I'm afraid, permanently."

"If that's the way you feel about it," Brian responded, "There isn't much I can say, except that nobody could be competition for you with me - not Malcolm or anybody else either. Now what about the little goof-ball?"

"I think Malcolm would be better with someone his own age. Malcolm's not the most mature person in the world." Justin allowed. "He actually mentioned maybe someone perhaps younger than he is. That might be even better, but it's hard to predict Malcolm. I just want to be there for him if he needs somebody. He is really a nice kid - a bit mixed up - but a nice kid."

"Well there doesn't seem to be much that I can do for Malcolm," Brian concluded, "Since you want to keep him away from me."

"That's right, Bri," Justin agreed, "I'll take care of Malcolm. I don't need you for that. But I do need you. I need you to take care of me. Keep me from going overboard. Make me keep things in perspective like you're doing now. Keep me from 'meddling.' Now I don't ever really meddle at all but you call it that so you know what I mean."

"Oh I know what you mean, all right," Brian laughed, "You want to give Malcolm a little rope and hope he won't hang himself, but you don't want to push him into anything like you do me. I guess you want me to keep you occupied some other way?"

"That too," Justin answered, "And you might want to start by telling me what you meant about maybe not minding so much when I was stalking you. Not that I want to push you into anything."

"Actually I don't want to start that way," Brian stated, ruffling Justin's hair. "That was not at all what I had in mind. Not that I would want to push you into anything you don't want to do either."

"I don't think you are," Justin informed him.

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