Out To Play

"I can't believe you're making me do this, Brian - forcing me to do something I don't want to do," Justin growled as they climbed the last few steps to the building entrance, "I just can't believe it."

"Yeah, I'll admit it's hard to believe," Brian responded nonchalantly, "Now if it were you forcing me to do something I didn't want to do, you wouldn't have any trouble believing that, and neither would I."

"That is a really mean thing for you to say, Brian," Justin countered, "I never make you do anything you don't want to do. I wouldn't ever do that."

"OK, Sweetheart, I'm going to list a few examples for you," Brian told him.

"Never mind," Justin grouched, "You're just going to name a few times when I strongly encouraged you to do the right thing, but I never forced you to do anything."

"That's all I'm doing here, Baby," Brian defended himself, "I'm strongly encouraging you to do the right thing. This Hamlet is a function at your school. You created those beautiful posters outside, and a lot of your friends are in it. You should be here so I sacrificed myself and decided to come with you."

"You threatened me, Brian," Justin insisted, "You threatened me and you forced me to come."

"I'm going to hold your hand all through the show," Brian told him.

That brought a semblance of a smile to Justin's face. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?" he wondered.

When they had got themselves seated in the fourth row center of the campus theater, Brian pushed his perceived advantage. "If Malcolm's here, I'd like to meet him at intermission," he whispered to Justin.

"Why?" Justin wanted to know. "I guess that's the real reason you insisted that we come."

"Just idle curiosity," Brian answered, "I'm not going to trade you in for any newer model just because of your petulance tonight. You don't have to worry about that."

"Well that's a relief," Justin replied with a smile, "But, Honey, Malcolm will be here tonight and you will not be meeting him at intermission."

"Now who's getting bossy?" Brian asked him.

"Not me, Honey," Justin told him. "It's just that Malcolm is in the cast and the cast does not mix with the audience at intermission. Malcolm will be playing Guildenstern."

"Malcolm is in the cast?" Brian repeated, "I thought only students of dramatics are in the casts here, and Malcolm is in your department. Did that last boy-friend of his, Alvin, get him in?"

"No, Honey," Justin grinned at him, "Alvin does not have that kind of influence, but Devon, the student director, does and Malcolm is dating Devon now. Alvin didn't last. But we do occasionally have non-dramats in the play casts so it's been done before. In a couple of emergencies they have even used outsiders."

"Well maybe Devon will last at least the run of the play," Brian laughed.

"That would be three weeks," Justin pointed out, "And that would be a longevity record for Malcolm."

The house lights dimmed and the curtains opened on the dark bleak castle wall. Brian took Justin's hand and Justin decided to make the most of the evening, which actually went rather quickly. The play was nicely staged and well acted. Malcolm held his own with the trained dramats in his couple of appearances.

Justin spent most of the time watching the play but he also spent some time watching Brian. He liked watching both but a certain question crossed his mind as he was looking at Brian. He filed it away for later discussion.

When they got back to the loft, Brian was about to ask Justin if he would like to sit for a while by the fireplace, but before he could ask, Justin lit it himself, so Brian did not have to ask that question.

After the usual quiet period spent just looking at the hypnotic flames jumping to and fro, Brian spoke first. "Now aren't you glad you went to the play?" he asked Justin.

"Yeah," Justin allowed, "I'm kind of glad you made me go. It probably was the right thing to do. Can I ask you a question though, Bri?"

"I did not make you go, but things are now really back to normal if you have a question. I hope it's about Hamlet because I am a bit of an expert on Hamlet if I must say so myself," Brian told him.

"Well it is about Hamlet, Honey," Justin assured him, "But it's about you too. I was watching you during the play and I noticed you were mouthing Laertes' lines along with Jason who was playing him. You didn't mouth anybody else's lines. Why was that, Brian?"

Oh, oh," Brian stated, "I think I may be sorry I made you go tonight."

"Thanks for finally admitting you made me go, Sweetheart," Justin responded, "But I want an answer to my question. You know I have an inquiring mind."

"You got me, Baby," Brian admitted, "So I played Laertes when I was in college. You know I did a lot of dumb things before I met you, and that was one of them."

"Why weren't you Hamlet?" Justin wanted to know.

"Because the director was straight," Brian laughed, "And he assigned the roles on merit."

"And why did you keep this acting background a deep dark secret from me?" Justin wanted to know.

"I didn't keep it a secret from you, Baby," Brian replied, "The subject never came up. In the next fifty years you may learn a lot of things about me you didn't know before. That's how life works. You probably didn't know that I was addicted to Dentyne chewing gum when I was in grade school."

"I can't believe you've kept all these secrets from me," Justin complained, "I'll bet you Mikey knew all this."

"Of course he did," Brian admitted, "He lived through those times with me. He saw the Hamlet I was in. He didn't know what the hell was going on but he saw it. And he knew about the Dentyne chewing gum too."

"I'm jealous of Mikey and Lindsay, Brian," Justin told him, "They knew you when you were growing up. They know things about you that I can't know as well as they do."

"But you know me a lot better than they do and better than they ever will," Brian responded, "And that's the way I want it and will always want it."

"Well, I wish I could have known you then too," Justin insisted. The conversation sort of petered out then and the guys just sat quietly. They were thinking but not talking.

Justin broke the silence. "Brian, if I were your age, and if we were in high school together," he asked, "Would we have fallen in love then?"

"Now there's a question I absolutely do not have the answer for, and I sure don't want to guess at," Brian answered. "That's something we can never know."

"You don't think we were made for each other?" Justin asked.

"Oh no you don't, Twink," Brian laughed at him, "I think we were made for each other all right, but not at the same time. If we were the same age, maybe we would not have been made for each other. We have what we have and we should be satisfied with that. I know I am. I hope you are."

"You know I love you, Brian, and you're right. I guess I don't have any choice." Justin conceded. "I don't like it though when I don't have any choice."

"I know you don't," Brian agreed as the conversation slowed again.

It was a little while later when Justin asked the final question of the evening. "Brian, Honey," Justin posed, "Will you do your Laertes for me sometime?"

"Not unless you force me to do something I don't want to do," Brian told him.

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