DÉJÀ VU

The fireplace was already lit and the guys were in their usual positions facing the fake flames. Justin looked agitated and Brian had his head back against the couch. He had a smile on his face.

"This is serious, Brian," Justin was saying, "And you have a tendency sometimes to treat serious matters as funny."

"And you, my little twink, have a tendency to treat funny things as serious a lot of times," Brian responded.

"Brian, why are you making fun of me when I need your help?" Justin pleaded with him.

"I'm sorry, Honey," Brian consoled him, "But don't you see anything at all funny in this whole business? This is not a situation where I can pretend to be an expert."

"That's probably true," Justin admitted with a bit of a smile forming on his face, "But you're all I have, and we do learn from our failures as well as our successes."

"OK," Brian gave in, "Give me all the details."

"His name is Malcolm and he's just a kid - probably eighteen, or maybe even seventeen," Justin began his story, "He is cute and a pretty good artist. I helped him when he came to the Institute, and now he's developed a crush on me. Everyplace I go, he's there - always by accident or coincidence, of course. Brian, I'm sure I saw him down the street when I got home last night. He's stalking me. What am I going to do? Even if I didn't have you, I wouldn't want some kid who doesn't know anything."

"Of course you wouldn't," Brian responded with a laugh that reflected just a trace of irony, "Who would? Well I had the same kind of stalking experience once and nothing I tried worked so I'm not sure I can help. Do you think this kid has Daphne as an advisor?"

"Don't be funny, Brian, this is entirely different," Justin complained, "You were free when I met you. You didn't have anybody special. I'm in a committed relationship that I want to last forever. I've told him that and it doesn't seem to matter to him at all."

"You didn't know I was free the night you picked me up on the street in front of Babylon," Brian countered.

"We're getting off the subject, Brian," Justin replied, "But it was you who picked me up, and you wouldn't have done that if you had somebody special." Then Justin had to laugh as he revised his statement, "I didn't know you then so I figured you wouldn't be picking someone up on the street if you had somebody special. Maybe I would have thought differently if I had known you better."

"Would you have still stalked me if you had found out later that I did have somebody, or would you have backed off and let us be?" Brian wondered.

"Gee, Brian," Justin answered, "That's a tough question. I was really in love with you after that first night. I don't know if I could have given you up even if you had somebody. I just don't know. I might have still had to try. But all this talk isn't helping me with my problem."

"Maybe it is," Brian told him, "Maybe it's helping you to understand Malcolm. What if he really loves you, and can't back off just because I am in the picture? Maybe he's in the situation you might have been in, and you're not sure what you would have done."

"Are you trying to make me feel sorry for him?" Justin questioned Brian, "You know it's going to make things harder for me if I feel sorry for him."

"I'm just pointing out some similarities," Brian said, "Maybe they will help you see the situation more clearly."

"There is one big difference between the two situations that you're leaving out, Brian," Justin told him, "You loved me back. You didn't know it then but you did From that first night you knew I was special. If you hadn't loved me back, I could never have caught you. I don't love Malcolm back. I never will. How do I get him to figure that out?"

"Eventually he'll figure it out for himself," Brian assured Justin, "But you need to try to let him down as easily as possible and I don't know the best way to do that."

Brian thought a little while before he suggested, "What if you invite him here to dinner some night. He can see us together and then he'll probably realize he doesn't have a chance."

"I don't think so." Justin disagreed, "If he wants me as bad as I wanted you, I don't think it would help. It might just encourage him. And then there's you. You have this thing for young guys, and I am rapidly aging. He may decide to stalk you and then we don't know what would happen. You aren't as good with stalkers as I am. Look what happened with the last one."

"Then how come you want my advice?" Brian wondered.

"Daphne's out of town and Michael's phone didn't answer," Justin informed him with a laugh.

"Now who's treating serious matters as funny," Brian wanted to know.

There followed a period of silence where the joy of being together overcame whatever else they had on their agenda. But they always eventually got back to the subject at hand.

"Wanna know something funny, Brian?" Justin asked.

"Sure," Brian responded, "Anything to lighten things up."

"Malcolm's mother doesn't mind his being gay all that much," Justin said, "But she thinks I'm too old for him."

"That's your opportunity," Brian told him, "Make an issue of your age. You can borrow the cane I had when I sprained my ankle, and we can dye your hair white instead of blond."

"First you don't help me," Justin complained half-heartedly, "And then you imply I'm not a natural blond. I'm beginning to wonder why I ever stalked you at all. You know, Brian, you did kind of step in when I was getting mixed up with Ethan."

"That's because you were stalking Ethan," Brian stated, "It wasn't Ethan stalking you like Malcolm is. You thought you were falling for Ethan. I knew better. I knew it was me that you really wanted."

"Now you're even stealing my lines, Honey," Justin admonished him, "But you're right. I didn't want Ethan. It was just my immaturity taking over. Fortunately I've completely outgrown my immaturity."

"Indeed you have," Brian replied with a voice reflecting maybe just the least bit of doubt.

There followed another brief period of silence with the two of them just enjoying their togetherness.

It was Justin who broke that silence. "I know what I'm going to do about Malcolm next, Sweetheart. This little chat has made my next move clear to me."

"I'm glad of that," Brian answered him, "I'm glad I was able to be of assistance. That's one of the reasons I'm here. What are you going to do next?"

Justin smiled at Brian and told him, "I'm going to wait for Daphne to get home, or for Michael's phone to pick up."

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