You Can't Go Home Again
 

It was reasonably late when the guys arrived back at the loft – way too late to light the fake fireplace and spend some quiet time on the floor watching the flames. But they did light the fireplace and they did position themselves on that floor nevertheless. Brian had a whimsical smile on his face as he initiated the discussion.

“You know what, Kiddo,” he proposed accusingly. “I think you drag me over there every once in a while just to show me what I gave up ….”

“Oh no, Kinney,” Justin disagreed. “No you don’t. I did not drag you anyplace, and that would not have been my reason even if I had dragged you anyplace. Going to Babylon tonight was like – a joint decision of a lot of people. I think it was originally Emmett’s idea but Mikey wanted to go too – and so did Ted – and Malcolm and Hunter really don’t know Babylon from the old days and they wanted to come – so it was decided by a lot of folks – not just me….”

“Well there ain’t nobody as queer as folks, Baby,” Brian laughed as he squeezed the kid closer to him.

“Especially some folks, BK,” Justin laughed back at him. “Some folks are queerer than others – don’t you think?”

And although the hour was already late, the guys did not seem to be in any hurry to conclude their firelight conversation - but they still took a short pause at this point – probably to better assess the situation.

“Well Oswaldo has been the big stud at Babylon for almost as long as I was,” Brian eventually continued the discussion along the same lines as before. “And he seems to be going as strong as ever. I probably quit sooner than I had to….”

“Yep, you did,” Justin surprised Brian slightly by quickly agreeing. “You didn’t have to – not in that sense of the word. You could still be the big guy over there if that’s what you wanted – but that wasn’t what you wanted at all. What really happened was - you found something you wanted more than being the big stud at Babylon, Bri….”

“So that’s what happened,” Brian laughed. “Thanks for enlightening me, JT. I always wondered what really happened. But I think it was more like the something I wanted more than being the big stud at Babylon found me.”

“That too - maybe,” Justin grinned back knowingly. “But it was still like – your lucky day when that all happened.”

“Well without admitting any such thing at all,” Brian posited, changing direction, “it doesn’t look to me like Oswaldo is in for any such – like – lucky day – does it…?”

“Now I’m not so sure about that at all, Brian,” Justin rebutted. “I thought he seemed just a little envious when he looked at us tonight – and at Brandon and Jason too. And he didn’t razz you about being out of circulation either – not that I heard anyhow - like he usually does.”

“No he didn’t,” Brian realized. “He never did – not tonight – and that’s the first time - and he didn’t tell me how dumb I was to get mixed up with you either. You don’t suppose maybe there’s a blond twink in Oswaldo’s future – or even his present…?”

“I dunno, Bri,” Justin replied. “It wouldn’t necessarily have to be a beautiful blond twink though. But it seems to me that if the right guy did just happen along about now, maybe Oswaldo would be….”

“Hey, that’d be really neat, Baby,” Brian enthused. “Really neat. Then I could pay Oswaldo back for all the stuff he’s been giving me the last couple of years. Revenge. Yeah. Sounds like fun….”

“But I don’t think you would though, Bri,” Justin pointed out. “You never got back at Brandon when he hooked up with Jason – Brandon was as tough on you as Oswaldo ever was - and I bet you wouldn’t do it with Oswaldo either. And, gee whiz, Kinney - you’re like - best friends with Brandon now….”

“Now there’s a helluva thought, Sweetheart,” Brian laughed. “Us being good friends with Oswaldo and little Egbert. Yo! But it’s scary too, Baby. Brandon and Jason are maybe – enough for us to handle. But maybe Oswaldo and Egbert would rather copy Brandon and Jason than us – that might be OK – it might even be fun to watch how they handle that….”

“Cut it out, Kinney,” Justin laughed back. “Brandon and Jason are our good friends. But if Oswaldo’s little friend turns out to be named Egbert – maybe we could get him to change his name…?”

“That’d be easy, Baby,” Brian informed him. “No problem - piece of cake. We’d just change your name to Waldo – and then Jason would right away change his name to like – Horatio, and then Egbert would have to change his name….”

“Brian Kinney,” Justin chided him, “you are like – really giddy tonight. I think you must have had a really good time at Babylon – better even than I thought you had….”

“And you wouldn’t want me to have such a really good time at Babylon either,” Brian suggested humorously. “Even if you did drag me over there under that pretense….”

“Now that’s a really mean thing to say, Brian,” Justin responded in kind. “An unfounded accusation – with no basis in fact….”

“Yeah well, I can tell when I’m being watched, Baby,” Brian pointed out, “And I was being watched at Babylon all night – every move I made….”

“So maybe you were being watched, Mr. K,” Justin admitted, “But maybe I wasn’t the watcher. There were a lot of guys there checking you out – and you knew that all the time - and you actually danced with a couple of the guys who asked you….”

“Purely platonic, Mr. Taylor,” Brian told him. “And they all asked me. I didn’t ask them – and there were some hot guys there I could have asked – but I didn’t….”

“Well you could have, Bri,” Justin maintained. “Didn’t I tell you to go find a stud and ask him to dance?”

“Yeah, you did,” Brian conceded. “But you just did that to remind me how romantic we used to be – like at that Pride dance - way back in the old days….”

Brian’s voice trailed off into silence and a longer pause in the discussion occurred at this juncture. Maybe the new days were not really as different from the romantic old days as Brian purported. Be that as it may, the discussion was not yet over.

“Hey, Baby,” Brian finally came up for air. “If you think I need to get to Babylon every once in a while, maybe I should stop in over there some night – like – all by myself…?”

“Yeah,” Justin told him. “It’d be just like old times for you. I’d miss you of course but maybe I could arrange to go to the movies or something with Ethan that night…. That would be like old times too….”

“You know what, Justin Taylor,” Brian cuddled the twink next to him. “I wouldn’t ever want to go to Babylon by myself – and I bet you wouldn’t want to go to the movies with Ethan either. That old saying must be right: You can’t go home again….”

“As much as I hate to disagree with you, Mr. Love of My Life,” Justin rubbed his hair against the big guy’s cheek. “I think you can go home again. Babylon isn’t your home – just like the movies with Ethan aren’t my home…. Our home is here – this loft – this floor – this fireplace…. And we can always come home again and we’ll always be able to come home again….”

“You know what, JT?” Brian ran his hand across Justin’s face in return. “Wrong as you usually are – sometimes you do get something right.”

And Justin was very glad that he got it right this time – and so was Brian.
 

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