The Fairest In The Land


 

It was old movie night in the loft. The guys had just finished watching and they were now comfortably settled on the floor in front of their fake fireplace. Justin looked like the cat who had swallowed the canary - and Brian displayed an amused perplexity.

“OK, Baby,” he told the kid, with no sign of rancor in his voice. “You lied to me…”

”Did not either,” Justin defended himself. “You asked me if I wanted to see this movie and I said I did – and that was no lie at all. I did want to see the movie.”

“Well did you want to see it as much as the other 500 times you’ve seen it, Twink?” Brian went on. “I guess I should have known …”

“Well you knew that at one point in my life I wanted to be an animator, Mr. Kinney,” Justin pointed out, “and this is probably the first picture a prospective animator would want to see.”

”Well you sure do know a lot about it, Baby,” Brian laughed. “I’m sure you could be an animator if that’s what you wanted. Of course most of the stuff you knew wasn’t all that interesting …”

“Yeah it all is,” Justin laughingly disagreed. “Except maybe if you were maybe - drawing-challenged …”

“Well it makes me wonder, Sweetheart,” Brian did wonder. “If you are as bored with all the stuff I tell you about the other movies as I was …”

“Nope,” Justin replied. “Not at all. You tell me interesting stuff about the movie and the actors, Bri – and I was just like – maybe showing off my technical expertise- just a little – and maybe trying to be kinda funny too …I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about - and you sure do know a lot about that stuff, Baby,” Brian told him, “But you’d be wasting your time trying to show me ... Say - do you think Gus would like to see this picture?”

“Well Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs can be a pretty scary movie for kids, Brian,” Justin opined. “But our Gus is a fearless warrior. I bet he’d like it – most kids do - and you could hold him on your lap with your arms around him …”

”Yeah,” Brian laughed. “That way I can keep in practice for holding you on scary movie night next Halloween. But if Gus gets used to it, what will happen when Gus gets to be old enough for scary movie night and there’d be both of you and one of me ..?”

“You know what, Bri?” Justin said. “Old Walt Disney really did try to scare the kids as well as entertain them. Maybe we could tell Gus that before he sees Snow White – and then maybe it wouldn’t be such a good idea for you to hold him and coddle him …”

”Yeah,” Brian seemed to agree. “You’re absolutely right, Sweetheart. This holding and coddling stuff is absolutely unnecessary – after all, it’s just a movie …”

“But I didn’t say holding and coddling was bad in itself, Brian,” Justin restated his position. “I just was saying …”

“I know what you were saying, Baby,” Brian laughed. “You’ll be absolutely safe on scary movie night – from every monster - except me. Maybe I was just trying to pay you back for not telling me you had seen this movie before…:

"Well I really did want to see it again – with you, Bri,” Justin said, “But I wouldn’t have suggested it because it’s like - a kid’s picture – apart from the animation. They don’t do that stuff by hand any more with all the computers around now – but that animation is still like – the very best - so when you mentioned it, I just…”

“Figured you’d show me a thing or two,” Brian finished his sentence for him with a wide grin.

“That was not it at all, Honey, “ Justin leered at him. “Not at all. But if you think I couldn’t show you a thing or two …”

The discussion paused at this point for whatever reason and did not resume for a fairly long time – and then it was Brian who eventually returned to the subject at hand.

“Hey, Baby,” he suggested. “Maybe we could get Malcolm to put on a stage version of Snow White – and you know what else – I’d be willing to play a small part in it myself – like maybe Prince Charming. I know he only has a few scenes but I wouldn’t mind taking just a small part. I don’t need to be the lead.”

“And what do you have in mind for me, Mr. Kinney?” Justin smiled, “Since I know you’re not being serious – or maybe I just hope you’re not being serious…”

“Well – since I guess you’re absolutely the fairest in the land, Baby,” Brian smiled back. “Aren’t you?”

“Maybe - but just what makes you think that, Kinney?” Justin teased. “I guess I wouldn’t mind hearing why you think that – if you wanted to elaborate a little …”

“That’s easy, Baby,” Brian recounted. “Every morning and evening – and sometimes in between too - you stand in front of the mirror for reasonably long periods of time – just like - looking – and the mirror is not broken. Logic tells me that if the mirror is not broken, it must be telling you what you want to hear – so I presume …”

“Thanks a lot, Kinney,” Justin told him. “Sometimes I forget how romantic you can be – but I never forget what a great actor you are – so I think you should have a larger part in Malcolm’s production. You’re not especially right for Prince Charming anyhow. I was thinking like maybe – the mean old queen – or maybe Grumpy…”

“Not the mean old queen, Baby,” Brian thought out loud. “I might have tried that at one time in my life and didn’t like it - but I’ve lived with you for a long time now – so I think I could pull off the part of Grumpy all right. I can understand where he’s coming from.”

“Thanks again, Brian – I love you too… So who else do you have in mind for the cast, Bri,” Justin wondered. “In this Malcolm production that Malcolm is never gonna hear about – I hope?”

“Well Mikey would be a natural for Happy,” Brian suggested. “He always sees the good side of everything.”

”Yeah,” Justin grinned. “Even if some people might think he was being cast against type - but we know different, don’t we, Bri?”

“And we’ll have to find roles for Brandon and Jason,” Brian pointed out. “Cause if we’re in it, they’ll…”

“If we sit Jason next to a couple of potted plants for ten minutes, he could play Sneezy, BK,” Justin said. “And it could be a Tony winning performance too. He has all the right allergies.”

”And you’re gonna have to pick out somebody for Dopey, JT,” Brian laughed. “And convince them it’s a good role for whomever you choose…That might be hard …”

“Easy, Kinney,” Justin came through. “Hunter has been doing some mime work over at Creative Arts. It will be perfect casting … You know what, Brian – I love you when you get silly like this – not that I don’t love you all the time anyhow – and I know you love me too. You know, I think you picked out Snow White to watch just so I could do a little showing off – you did, didn’t you? Damn, Brian – you were talking to my mother at that gallery showing last week. Did the subject Of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs possibly come up at all in that particular conversation?”

“You know, Baby,” Brian at least pretended he was trying to remember. “I don’t think so - but I can’t say for sure that it didn’t either …”

“Maybe we should cast you as Forgetful, Brian?” Justin smiled at him. “You’d fit that role pretty well.”

“But Forgetful was not one of the dwarfs, Baby,” Brian countered. “There’s no Forgetful in Snow White at all.”

“I know that. Brian,” Justin cuddled up closer - successfully closing out the conversation for the evening. “Didn’t I see the picture like - 500 times? Like – you can never get enough of a good thing.”

And then he went about proving it – convincingly enough for both of them.

 

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