King's High

Brian was having breakfast at the diner with Mikey. Justin was on a project for school - sketching some of Pittsburgh's million bridges by dawn's early light. Brian didn't mind coming to the diner any more even though he always had to explain if Justin wasn't with him. It wasn't like they were joined at the hip, he thought, or maybe it was. Nevertheless, he didn't mind.

Things were going just fine until Debbie came along and tacked a poster onto the wall. Brian looked at it and his heart sank. Michael saw Brian's face change. He looked at the poster and knew why.

Debbie came up to them with her usual flourish. "The King of Babylon contest is coming up next week." she announced, telling them what they had just read, "See the poster. It's a neat idea that they are honoring all the former Kings too. Sunshine should be pleased."

Brian did not respond. He just stared straight ahead, but Debbie went off without noticing.

"You don't much care for the idea, I see," Mikey told Brian, after Debbie had gone. "No, I don't," Brian responded, "Not even a little bit. It's something I would like to forget forever."

"Tell him not to go," Michael suggested, "He wouldn't go if he knew you didn't want him to."

"I can't do that, Mikey. I don't know how he remembers that night. If he wants to go, I want him to go," Brian said, "And if he wants to go, I'll go with him, but I sure don't want to go. He got into that damn contest because of me. I had these feelings about him and wanted to get rid of them. I was in love with him then, Mikey. I didn't even know it; how pathetic is that? I loved you, Mikey, so I thought I knew what love was, but this was different. So I treated him really rotten. I guess I thought if I got rid of him those feelings would go away."

"Love comes in different versions, Brian," Michael answered. "I didn't understand that back then either."

Michael didn't know what else to say but he didn't have to say anything because Brian spoke next, after a few minutes consideration. "This is twice in the last few weeks, I've had a stiff reminder of the old days," Brian said, "It seems like they just won't go away."

"I bet the first one had something to do with jambalaya. Me and Justin were sitting here one day and this guy came up and they started talking about some night last year at your place and jambalaya. I couldn't figure out what went on that time." Mikey told Brian, "But the whole thing sounded weird. Seems Justin made this jambalaya and this guy was there but you didn't eat it until the next day. Sounded too weird to me. Justin ended up asking him to have dinner with you at the loft. He wanted Ben and me to come too but I made up some kind of excuse. You guys seem to thrive on weird stuff but I just get confused."

"I guess he told you then how shitty I was to him that night. That was me at my worst; I can't believe I was that miserable with him," Brian said to Mikey.

"No, Brian," Mikey responded, "He just told me that the jambalaya didn't get eaten then. He said you really saved his life the next day though - that it was the greatest thing anyone had ever done for him - and that you were really nice to him when you two ate the jambalaya the second night. He said it was the best night of his life."

Michael thought he detected a tear in Brian's eyes. He remembered seeing Brian cry only once in the time he had known him; that was on a prom night a few years back. So Brian didn't do much crying. Michael was sure he hadn't said anything to cause a tear to form in Brian's eye, so he figured it must have been a whiff of onion.

Brian had a busy day and he was glad. In between meetings, he had visions of Justin dancing his way to the Kingship of Babylon. He hated those thoughts and he hated himself and he didn't know what to do about the present situation. It wasn't like Brian Kinney to be perplexed but Brian Kinney was very perplexed. It made for a long day.

Brian and Justin ate soup and sandwiches in the loft that evening. They talked small talk during the meal but Brian was doing some big thinking, and wondering.

After they ate, Brian lit the fireplace. "Fireplace, do your stuff," he whispered, before Justin joined him.

They sat quietly for a while when they both got themselves seated on the floor facing the jumping fake flames. This was becoming standard practice. Brian ran his hand through Justin's hair messing it up slightly, and Justin just smiled at him It seemed like they didn't need to talk, but sometimes they did

"I had breakfast at the diner with Mikey this morning," Brian announced to Justin.

"Oh hell, Sweetheart," Justin said as he reached over and kissed Brian on the cheek, "I'm so sorry. You saw the poster, I guess. I am such a twat. I wanted to tell you before the posters went up."

"You knew," Brian replied incredulously, "And you didn't tell me?"

"I'm sorry, Bri," Justin repeated, "I was trying to figure out how to do it. I was scared, Brian."

"Scared?" Brian asked, "Scared of what? Scared of me? Did you think I wouldn't want you to go or that I'd refuse to go with you?" Brian thought he felt Justin shiver under the arm he had around him.

"Scared that you would make me go, Brian, I don't want to go. I'm ashamed of that night. I hate thinking about that night." Justin told him, "I let you down I should have had more confidence in you. I was just being a brat, feeling neglected."

"Baby, I was the bastard that night. I practically forced you to enter that contest by the way I acted. How did you let me down? I'm the one who should be apologizing." Brian blamed himself.

"But I knew that you were in love with me then and you didn't," Justin told him, "I should have just waited for you to figure it out. I didn't need to embarrass you and myself too. It was really all my fault." Then he smiled tentatively and added, "So then, I guess I don't have to go to that celebration at Babylon, do I?"

"Not unless you want to," Brian allowed, trying to pull the blond kid even closer, "That is entirely your call. I wasn't too keen on it myself but if you decide to go, I'll be with you, you can bet on that. But please, Baby, you really do have to tell me when you know things I need to know."

"Oh, Brian, I always do," Justin insisted, "As soon as I figure out how. How pathetic is that?"

Brian wrapped both arms around Justin and squeezed. Brian didn't think it was pathetic at all.

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