I Love You - Too Much

The guys had just settled themselves onto the floor of the loft facing their fake fireplace when Justin asked a question. Brian had sensed that the kid had something on his mind and he was right.

“Brian,” Justin wondered. “Can I talk to you about something? Normally I’d probably talk to Daphne or maybe Mikey about something like this but I think you might be more help this time.”

“More help than Daphne or Mikey?” Brian seemed amused. “That’s pretty daunting, Sweetheart. Me, Brian Kinney - being asked something instead of Daphne or Mikey. Quite an honor. Ask away and I’ll do what I can, Baby.”

“You got to take this seriously, Brian,” Justin warned him. “You can act silly about it if you have to – but you have to take the problem seriously. I wish Cassandra was in town. She could be more help than you probably but she’s not so …”

“So I’m it, I guess,” Brian smiled at him. “I guess this is a question for the Wise Old Owl column. I told you that I’d help if you needed me when you decided to be the Institute’s anonymous advice giver for six months or so – and I will. You can have the benefit of my vast storehouse of knowledge, understanding and empathy – just like I promised.”

“But it’s not a Wise Old Owl question, Bri,” Justin informed him. “It’s Jason who has the problem – or I guess it’s Brandon and Jason who have the problem – and maybe Brandon doesn’t know it – but maybe he does. Anyhow it’s strange and it’s complicated.”

“Well I can see the problem clearly from that lucid account, JT,” Brian decided, “So now with the problem so clearly defined, let’s try working out a solution.”

“Dammit, Kinney,” Justin interrupted. “I want to talk to you about this because I think you might understand it – so I’m gonna put up with your guff all right – but if I don’t get some sound advice from you, Brian and Justin might just have a problem too – even if Brian doesn’t know it – but he will definitely find out, Sweetheart. I can assure you of that. Yes he will.”

“OK, Baby,” Brian surrendered. “You win. What is little insecure Jason’s problem that Brandon probably doesn’t know about?”

“You think Jason is insecure, Brian?” Justin seemed surprised. “I don’t think Jason is all that insecure – not usually anyhow …”

”But right now he is feeling insecure, I bet,” Brian stood his ground. “I’ll bet on it. So what is he all het up about this time?”

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin marveled. “I’m sure that was just a lucky guess on your part – but Jason is really worried about something – and I thought maybe you could maybe explain what’s going on because you know Brandon so well – and you’re just a little bit like him too.”

“You know, Baby,” Brian laughed. “You want me to help and I really do want to help – cause whatever this is seems to be bothering you too - but it would be a lot easier for me to help if you would just tell me what the problem is. Wanna try that?”

“Yeah,” Justin affirmed, “But it’s a really strange kind of problem, Bri. Brandon is – like always telling Jason how much he loves him. Like too much – like all the time. Jason figures there’s something up – something weird - and Jason is scared Brandon didn’t used to do that all the time so Jason is suspicious – and worried too. It’s just not like Brandon.”

“OK, Baby,” Brian wondered. “Let me get this straight. You’re telling me that Brandon is telling Jason he loves him – like - so often that Jason is spooked?”

“That’s about it, Bri,” Justin agreed with that assessment. “So what do you think is going on?”

“Well what would you think, JT,” Brian queried, “If maybe I was always telling you how much I loved you? Would you get spooked?”

“I don’t know about ‘spooked’ exactly, Kinney,” Justin replied, “But I’d be pretty suspicious. If I was sure you weren’t just trying to be funny, I’d probably want Dr. Marshall to get you checked out at Western Psych maybe.”

“So what you’re telling me here is that if anybody loved you enough to keep telling you how much he loved you, Sweetheart,” Brian proposed, “That he would have to be ready for the loony bin?”

“OK, Kinney,” Justin grouched. “If you think twisting my words all around is helping me with this problem – then thanks for helping … or maybe I should say thanks for nothing …”

“Baby,” Brian squeezed him slightly, “All I’m trying to say is that if Brandon is telling Jason how much he loves him, the most likely reason is that he really loves him – and he wants Jason to know it. Sometimes things are exactly what they seem to be. Everything’s not a big mystery.”

“So you think I should just tell Jason to cool it?” Justin summarized doubtfully, “Even though Brandon is like doing the ‘I love you’ bit too much … I think Jason would still be worried. I guess maybe I would be too in his place.”

“Well then maybe Jason should just tell Brandon how many times he’s allowed to say ‘I love you’ on any given day,” Brian proposed an alternate solution. “Like if six times is enough, then Brandon could limit himself to six ‘I love you’s per day. I bet Brandon would be glad to know the exact right number of times to say it.”

“Well now that’s really romantic, Kinney,” Justin objected. “I can see Brandon trying to figure out if he had run out of ‘I love you’s for the day or not – and how would anybody know the exact right number of times anyway? I hope you can do better than that.”

“OK, Baby,” Brian ran his hand through the agitated twink’s hair. “Actually, I can do better than that. Tell Jason he has nothing to worry about. Nothing at all. I guess this may be all my fault. Brandon and me were talking a couple of weeks ago and maybe this subject came up. Brandon was saying how crazy he is about Jason and I told him to tell Jason. And Brandon said he’d probably be saying ‘I love you’ all the time and I told him to say it as often as he felt like it. So I’m pretty sure that Brandon means just what he’s saying - and he’s not been taken over by aliens or trying to cover up anything. He’s just in love – with Jason. I should have known dopey old Jason wouldn’t get the message right …”

“Dopey old Jason, eh?” Justin complained. “All he did was get confused when his guy started acting out of character … And do you really think people should say “I love you” just like – every time they feel like saying it?”

“Well I guess that’s what I thought, Honey,” Brian admitted, “But now that you have explained all this to me, maybe I better change my mind …”

“Well if you ever thought that, BK,” Justin challenged him. “I don’t remember you practicing what you preach. I don’t think I ever got spooked from you saying those three little words all that much – not even like the six times a day that you seem to think is the exact right number of times either … More like once a day – or even less than that … Maybe closer to once a year ….”

“So Jason and Brandon have their problem solved and Brian and Justin are now going to have the same problem – or maybe a slight variation,” Brian interrupted Justin’s reminiscences. “That’s like maybe the first time in recorded history that Brandon and Jason were the leaders and we were the followers …”

“You think we’re gonna have the problem of you saying you love me too often, Bri? I don’t think so,” Justin laughed. “It’s OK though, BK. I’m not as insecure as ‘dopey old Jason.’ It doesn’t bother me at all that maybe Brandon loves Jason more than you love me…”

At this point, Brian decided to go non-verbal in an attempt to prove to the twink that Brandon did not love Jason more than Brian loved Justin – Brian felt actions often spoke much louder than words - and Brian had a way of being very convincing when he wanted to be – so he felt he was quite successful in this particular endeavor. And Justin – unlike ‘dopey old Jason’ – got the message correctly – loud and clear.

A long while later - Brian was holding Justin pretty close when he asked the kid: “Do you think it would be all right with you if I told you ‘I love you,’ Babe? I wouldn’t be lying – but I wouldn’t want you to get spooked either.”

“Yeah - I guess that would be OK, Bri,” Justin happily consented. “If you want to… As long as you don’t make a habit of it.”
 

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