Taking the Fifth

It was July 5. The fireplace was lit and the guys were assuming their usual positions on the floor of the loft – but the discussion had started early – not a usual occurrence and hardly ever a good sign. Joining the conversation in progress:

“I’m sorry you didn’t win the flag waving contest, Baby,” Brian was sympathizing.

“Well I would have won easily if I just knew how to do that damn flag waving stuff …” Justin pointed out.

“But you know what, Sweetheart,” Brian went on somewhat carefully, “I bet a lot of people who were there thought you did win. Wilson looks so much like you and …”

“And he was like a ringer too, Kinney,” Justin reminded him. “They have these flag waving contests all over the south and Wil is a veteran flag waver – so it wasn’t fair – and I bet you invited them up here just so I wouldn’t win – and that was mean ... And I also bet you suggested the whole damn flag waving thing to Mikey too – where else would he have heard about it? … But you are right about one thing, Bri - some guy did stop me later in the day to congratulate me for winning. He said I did a lot better the second time I tried.”

”But you only tried once,” Brian told him – ignoring the various accusations. “The second time it was Wil.”

“Well you know that – and I know that,” Justin reasoned accurately. “But the guy did not know that ...”

”So you told him about Wil?” Brian presumed.

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin replied. “You think I’d pick on some poor mixed-up guy - on the holiday too? I didn’t want to embarrass him so – no – I didn’t tell him about Wil. I didn’t want to confuse him more … But I still would have won anyhow if Wil hadn’t been there …”

”Maybe not, Baby,” Brian cautioned him. “You didn’t actually come in second either …”

“So you’re telling me you don’t think I could have beat Jason if I had to, Kinney,” Justin projected surprise. “Jason was lucky. That’s how he came in second.”

“But you didn’t come in third either …” Brian spoke too quickly - without thinking it through.

”Darn it, Brian Kinney,” Justin retorted, “You are determined to pick on me tonight – so I guess I should just …”

“Well you were just wonderful during the community sing, Honey,” Brian changed the subject. – hoping for better luck “You knew all those George M. Cohan songs – Cohan, that is – with the “a” in there and not the ‘e.’ He was Irish, you know – like meself, - meself - Brian Kinney …”

“Who maybe ought to spell his name ‘Kinnay’ maybe?” Justin reasoned. “Looks to me like one of you Irish guys is spelling his name wrong – but I’m not taking sides … I don’t pick on innocent people - that I’m supposed to be in love with.”

“Good idea, Baby,” Brian retreated – only to try once more “It was funny when that guy asked Gus to play the 1812 Overture on the violin – and Gus did it.”

“Yeah,” Justin agreed, to Brian’s immense relief. “Gus liked the Overture so well when the symphony did it a couple of years back that Ethan wrote him an arrangement for solo violin … Of course it loses a little bit when you take the orchestra away – but Gus did a good job. Bet he could play it with the symphony if they’d ask him – but I don’t think there’s a violin solo in the original score …”

“Which is not my fault at all, Baby,” Brian defended himself from any attack which might conceivably be coming. “I didn’t write the 1812 Overture - or I’d have had a violin solo in there.”

“Well I bet if you looked like Peter Ilyich Tchaikovsky, I bet somebody would blame you anyhow,” Justin warned him. “But you don’t look like Peter Ilyich at all – even though he was gay too …”

“You know what, Baby,” Brian had to smile, “There are a lot of gay guys that I don’t look like…”

“Gee whiz, Brian,” Justin objected. “You are really determined to jump on everything I say tonight …”

So Brian decided that maybe it would be better for neither of them to say anything at all for a while – and that’s what they did – or didn’t - for a considerable period too. Justin acted like he agreed with Brian’s analysis – so Brian was thinking that maybe the crisis had passed. It hadn’t.

“Brian,” Justin eventually resumed the conversation. “Wil asked me if maybe we could go down to Atlanta for some festival they’re having in a couple of weeks – but don’t worry, Honey – I told him ‘no’ cause I knew you wouldn’t want to go – and I figured you might actually go if I told him I’d ask you - just because you thought I wanted to go – and I didn’t want you to go if you didn’t want to go so …”

“Was there gonna be a flag waving contest at that festival, Sweetheart?” Brian asked, maybe not wisely, but very wisely suppressing any smile.

“As a matter of fact, there is a gonna be big flag waving contest, Brian,” Justin responded. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious,” Brian told him. “But you were exactly right - like you always are – I didn’t want to go – and I thank you for sparing me that. Actually though, Alan did ask me about the festival later on. He thought maybe you turned Wil down just in case – without being sure I didn’t want to go - so he asked me – just to make sure …”

“What did you tell him, Brian?” Justin asked anxiously. “You didn’t want to go, did you?”

“Naw, JT,” Brian told him. “I told him if you had turned them down, that’s what I thought too … But, Sweetheart, I probably should have stopped then – but you know how I like to be funny sometimes … Well I suggested that if they wanted company, maybe they should ask Brandon and Jason … It was like – a joke – Baby …”

“Are you telling me that Brandon and Jason are going to Atlanta, Brian,” Justin presumed. “Instead of us?…Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yeah, Sweetheart,” Brian admitted. “That’s what I think I’m telling you. Brandon got along real well with Alan – and Jason got along real well with Wil – but if you decide you want us to go too, Baby, we can go. It really isn’t till September and we can go – if you want to -and you’d have plenty of time to practice your flag waving too – and you’d be sure to win this time …”

Justin cuddled himself up to Brian but he didn’t say anything. Brian got the message and didn’t say anything either – so another protracted pause followed – and Brian thought the worst was over. And this time it was.

“Hey, Babe,” Brian broke the spell. “I’m sorry if you didn’t enjoy yourself yesterday – I really am - and I can see where it was mostly my fault … and I’m sorry if I was picking on you just now too …”

“What are you talking about, Kinney?” Justin seemed surprised. “I spent the whole day yesterday with you – and a lot of good friends and relatives - doing all kind of fun things. Why in the world would you think I didn’t have a good time? And now I’m sitting here right next to you – just us two - in front of our fireplace - my favorite thing in the whole world … I’d be crazy if I wasn’t the happiest kid in the world – and I’m not crazy, am I?’

“No, Baby,” Brian told him. “You are not crazy.”

It was the very first time that evening that Brian was sure he had the right answer. But Brian wasn’t crazy either – so he was having a great time too.

 

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