What I Want to Hear

 

The guys were settled in front of their fireplace. The fake flames flickered back and forth. Brian had his arm around the kid. It was business as usual in the loft.

"Brian," Justin began, "I want you to be serious."

"I think I am serious, Baby," Brian replied. "I'm sitting here in front of the fire and I'm seriously in love with you, and I'm holding you seriously tight."

"That's not what I mean, Bri," Justin clarified the situation. "I need your advice and I want you to be serious about what I'm going to ask you. This is a serious matter."

"I am at my most serious, Kiddo," Brian assured him. "What advice do you want?"

"Well I had a phone call from that guy in New York who sells my stuff up there…." Justin told him.

"That would be the guy who sends you serious checks pretty often," Brian recalled.

"No jokes please, Bri," Justin protested. "You know I do some regular stuff and some abstract stuff which really requires more thinking and imagination. Well, he told me that all of my work sells but the regular stuff sells faster than the really good stuff. Only real collectors buy that."

"All your stuff is really good, Taylor," Brian pointed out. "You have lots of talents and art is one of them. Everything you do is good."

"Don't you think he was telling me to slow down on the good stuff and do more of the ordinary stuff?" Justin asked. "So he can make more in
commissions."

"Don't you have to make more money for him to get bigger commissions?" Brian asked back. "Maybe the guy was just pointing out that you can make more money from the regular stuff."

"Brian," Justin complained. "Everybody knows that artists are interested in art and not money. You should know that, and he should know it too, since he works with artists."

"Well he is in the business of selling art, Baby," Brian said. "I bet he wasn't advising you what to do. I bet he was just telling you what's happening up there. He didn't make any specific suggestions, did he?"

"He didn't have to," Justin insisted. "I think it was pretty clear what he meant."

"Well maybe not," Brian allowed. "Don't you think you should have asked him?"

"That would be like asking him for advice, Bri," Justin responded. "I don't need any advice from him and I don't want any advice from him. If I need advice, I have you."

"Yes, you do," Brian smiled at him. "You have me whether you need advice or not, and whether you want advice or not. But right now, I'm not sure exactly what advice you want from me."

"Do you think I should do more representational stuff and cut back on the abstracts?" Justin said. "I think I like doing the abstracts better."

"I think you should do what you want to do," Brian told him. "You have more money coming in than you'll ever need, and I'm ready and willing to support a starving artist too – if that starving artist happened to be you."

"No chance of that, Mr. Kinney," Justin had to laugh. "You're bossy enough around here as it is. I can't even imagine how bossy you'd be if you were supporting me too."

"Well then, I guess what you have is a choice," Brian concluded. "Do you want your stuff hanging in the ateliers of the cognoscenti, or in the halls and living rooms of the masses?"

"That sounds to me like sarcasm, Kinney," Justin complained. "I asked for advice and I get sarcasm."

"It's not sarcasm at all, Taylor," Brian retorted. "It is my honest attempt to reply to your request for advice that you don't really want at all."

"You're being mean, Brian," Justin came back. "It's just that the abstract stuff is more the real me. My abstracts kind of express my state of mind."

"I know that's true," Brian was smiling. "I can attest to the fact that your abstracts often express your state of mind. No doubt about it. I've seen your abstracts and I've dealt with your state of mind, so I know that's true."

"OK, I give up," Justin decided. "I asked for advice and I get an argument. No advice. Just an argument. I love you anyhow – so there."

"Cut it out, Twink," Brian commanded. "You got my advice. My advice is that you should do what you want to do. If you want to sell more stuff you should do what sells. You don't need to do that. You're selling plenty of stuff up there, and here too. You can do whatever you feel like doing and you should."

"Gee, Brian," Justin seemed contented. "Now that is advice. And it's just what I hoped you'd say too. It just took you such a long time to get around to it."

"Well the next time you need to ask for my advice," Brian surmised, "you could just tell me what advice you want me to give you. That way, I can get around to advising you a lot sooner."

This was unlikely discourse to lead to a quiet period in the discussion, but nevertheless it did. Both the guys seemed contented as they sat cuddled in front of the fireplace.

"Thanks for helping me out with that problem, Brian," Justin later reopened the conversation. "You really were a big help. Talking problems over with you helps me figure things out. I'm glad I have you around to help me."

"And I'm glad to be around to help you decide to do whatever you want to do," Brian acknowledged. "And I'm glad just to have you around even when you don't need advice. You're pretty good company here in front of the fireplace."

"You know what, Bri," Justin said. "Maybe you're more glad to have me around when I don't need advice."

"Maybe," Brian told him.
 

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