No Fire-Works

It was just after midnight when Brian and Justin walked into the loft. The fourth of July was over. Brian was not very steady on his feet and had to be supported by Justin's shoulder. They had spent the evening at Point State Park where the Pittsburgh Symphony played a holiday concert and Pittsburgh's biggest fireworks display of the year had lit up a clear moonless dark blue sky, thrilling the on-lookers and drawing lots of "oohs' and "aahs." There had been a crowd estimated at 70,000 crammed into the 36-acre park, and among them had been the whole Brian-Justin group. Lindsey and Mel had set up an elaborate party. They had eaten a lavish picnic meal together at the park early and had enjoyed the concert and the fireworks. Brian had been somewhat reluctant to attend but finally went so that he could hold Gus for the fireworks display. But Brian had actually enjoyed himself - mostly in ways that he now wished he hadn't.

Brian flopped down on the floor in front of the couch. "OK Sunshine," he said, "Turn on your damned fireplace and yell at me. I deserve it."

"Get up Brian," Justin responded, while putting away the gear they had taken to the park for the festivities, "If you can, that is. I can't think of anything that I would want to yell at you about. It's late. I have no intention of lighting the fireplace at this hour, and I cannot imagine what you think I would want to yell at you about."

"Then I'm going to light it. I feel bad and I want you to yell at me," Brian insisted, "That's the only thing that will make me feel better. I was stupid tonight."

"You can't light the fireplace, Brian," Justin warned him, "In your condition you'll set the loft on fire even if the fireplace is fake. Get up and go to bed. You'll feel better in the morning."

"I won't if you don't yell at me," Brian went on, "I feel bad about tonight and I don't even remember some of it. I did hold Gus for the fireworks, didn't I? That's why I went."

"I held Gus for the fireworks." Justin informed him. "He loved them. The noise was deafening and he wasn't even scared. You've got a brave son, Bri. You and Mikey slept through the 1812 Overture and all the fireworks. None of us could believe it and neither could any of the crowd around us."

"I did not sleep through the concert," Brian defended himself, "I could hear all those wrong notes your fiddler-ex-boyfriend was playing."

"Oh you were awake for part of the concert." Justin agreed, "We all knew that because that's when you and Mikey disappeared and we found out the security guys were looking for you two because of some kind of illegal fireworks being thrown around. Mel made up some cock-and-bull story which got them off your track."

"Damn lawyers are always getting crooks off," Brian interjected.

"Lucky for you this time," Justin laughed, "And for your information, Ethan was not playing with the symphony. Maybe by fall you'll be able to hear some of his wrong notes but tonight's wrong notes were somebody else's."

"Me and Mikey found a lot of the old crowd from Babylon at the park," Brian rambled

"We knew," Justin answered him. "It must have been just like the wild old days for you and Mikey."

"Yeah, it was, but I think we went too far," Brian continued, "Troy's gang had "E" and I snorted just a little of it. It must have been bad stuff because it didn't used to bother me like it did tonight."

"Maybe it's because you don't take it regularly any more and your system isn't used to it," Justin suggested. "It might have been better if you hadn't taken any at all."

"I think it would have been all right if we hadn't run into Bart and his bunch." Brian ran on, "They had a keg of beer stashed right under the cop's noses and they never even noticed. We shouldn't have helped them drink it."

"Probably not." Justin agreed with him.

"Why aren't you mad at me, Baby?" Brian wanted to know. "I don't want you to approve of what I did. You ought to be mad at me. I fouled up big-time. I'm sorry. Why don't you just yell at me and get it over with?"

Justin laughed at him. "I told Ben that you and Mikey were just reliving your misspent youth," Justin said, "And Ben told me that we must not expect the children to be perfect on the Fourth of July."

"Isn't anybody mad at me at all?" Brian wondered.

"I think Debbie was for a while. She said you got her son drunk." Justin told him

"That doesn't count," Brian mused, "She's always blaming me for everything when she isn't telling me how wonderful I am."

"And maybe Lindsey is still a little mad at you," Justin went on.

"Because I didn't hold Gus for the fireworks?" Brian guessed.

"Well that, and another thing too," Justin related, "Some old lady came over to make a fuss over Gus. She wanted to know which of us were the parents and we told her. Then you said you also wanted her to meet your boy-friend and Lindsey's girl-friend, and you scared the poor old lady away."

"And you never got mad at me? Not even when I was such an ass." Brian said in wonderment.

Justin sat down on the floor next to Brian and wrapped his arms around him. "You were just that kind of ass when I fell in love with you," he told Brian. That made Brian smile.

"But maybe I got close to yelling at you on the way home." Justin mentioned. "It took over an hour because of the traffic and you kept singing 'America the Beautiful' the whole way. And maybe I was a tiny bit peeved when you were flirting with Hunter."

"Hunter?" Brian said, "Oh baby, I don't remember that. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry, Bri," Justin told him. "You know Hunter can't understand what a stud like you sees in a twat like me. Sometimes I don't either. Anyhow, he expects you to drop me any day now. He propositioned you and then gave you his phone number for you to call him when I'm gone."

"I didn't take it, did I?" Brian questioned.

"Yes you did," Justin told him, "It's probably in your pocket. That's where you put it"

Brian thought for a while and said "But I wouldn't need Hunter's phone number. He's at Mikey's so it must be Mikey's phone number he gave me."

"Yep," Justin answered him, "I checked."

"Sweetheart," Brian asked. "If you're not mad at me and you refuse to yell at me, why do I feel so bad about what I did tonight?"

"Conscience, Brian," Justin responded, "Your own conscience is bothering you. It's telling you that you made some wrong choices tonight."

"Conscience," Brian wondered, "I never had any conscience before. Is that part of this whole deal, too?"

"I'm afraid so," Justin smiled at him, "You are just going to have to live with it."

Brian threw both arms around Justin. "If I have to live with a conscience to have you," Brian said, "It's worth it."

"Tell me that sometime when you're not stoned and drunk," Justin laughed, "Let's get you up if we can and then to bed. You'll be all better tomorrow."

"If I still feel this bad tomorrow," Brian said, "Will you please yell at me?"

"I guess so," Justin told him.

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