Lonely

The fake fire was ablaze with flames flitting this way and that. Brian was sitting on the floor staring at them. It was a usual situation except for one thing - the kid was not there - and he was already a half hour late.

"Where the hell is he?" Brian wondered to himself. "He never used to be late and this is the second time this week. I should have asked him last time why he was late. I didn't want him to think I was upset though. No, I shouldn't have had to ask. He should have told me."

Brian looked at his watch. The time was not passing very quickly or very happily. "I guess he's involved with other things," Brian guessed. "But he never used to get home late, at least without calling and apologizing all over the place. Maybe he's getting tired of the same old thing. Maybe he's getting tired of me. He doesn't seem to be though. But this is twice in the one week. I wonder if he'll say why he's late or act like he's sorry."

Brian thought he heard the elevator. That raised his spirits until it stopped one floor below. The Carltons were getting home. It wasn't Justin.

"I hope nothing's happened to him," Brian worried. "I don't get why he hasn't called." Brian smiled as he thought about how his life had changed since he had met the kid. "The great Brian Kinney, who never gave a shit about anybody is sitting here worried because the twink is a half-hour late. Twice in one week. Why doesn't he get here? Why doesn't the phone ring?"

And the phone did ring. "Don't let it be anything bad," Brian thought as he answered. "Don't let it be bad news about Justin."

The familiar voice on the other end of the line was Daphne's. "Brian, don't tell Justin that I called but I think I need to tell you that he just left here," she told Brian.

"Nothing's the matter, is it?" Brian interrupted.

"Not really," Daphne responded, "But he was upset when he left so I thought I should call you."

"What was he upset about?" Brian interrupted again.

"Brian, Justin has been helping us get ready for our all-sorority charity bazaar," Daphne said. "He has done most of the decorating and he has been a real help with a lot of other things too. He has a lot of great ideas and we have been really overworking him. We kept him late a couple of days ago and we kept him again today. We promised him we wouldn't but you know how things go. He was upset because he was going to be late and he was worried what you would think."

"Couldn't he have just told me what was up?" Brian wondered. "He never said anything to me about any bazaar. Maybe I could have helped too?"

"That's just it, Brian," Daphne replied. "He didn't want you to be bothered. He said you have a lot of your own stuff to do and you're always doing things for him. He just didn't want to bother you with this. He made us promise that he wouldn't get held up and be late coming home but that's not how it worked out. I think he's mad at us and I think he may be expecting you to be mad at him."

"Why would he think I'd be mad at him?" Brian responded. "And why would he think I wouldn't want to help you guys out."

"He loves you, Brian." Daphne reminded him, "And he thinks you do a lot more for him than he can do for you."

"Well he's wrong, Daph," Brian assured her. "He's dead wrong about that."

"Have you ever told him that, Brian?" Daphne wanted to know.

"And have you ever tried telling Justin that he's wrong?" Brian responded with a smile that Daphne could not see.

"Yeah, I have," Daphne answered, "And I'll admit it's not easy. But he'll be getting there soon and I wanted you to know that he's late because of us. He was thinking about you the whole time though. Sometimes I think you're all he thinks about. So don't give him a hard time, and don't tell him I called or he'll kill me. He really loves you, Brian."

"Thanks for calling, Daph," Brian said hurriedly as he heard the elevator again. "I think he's on the way up now. I'm really glad you called." Brian finally relaxed.

The door slid open and Justin entered, a bit tentatively. "Sorry I'm late. Bri," he offered. "I'll be over there as soon as I get my coat off."

"Now," Brian ordered.

"Geez, Brian," Justin protested as he headed in Brian's direction. "I hope you're not mad. I got held up."

But Justin didn't get to finish his complaint because Brian grabbed him and pulled him down onto the floor. "I love you. Kiddo," he told the surprised twink. "You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I love you."

"Are you OK, Brian?" Justin sputtered. "You're not sick or anything, are you? I can call Dr. Marshall."

"No, not sick," Brian assured him. "Just happy."

"What about, Bri?" Justin wanted to know, still a bit perturbed about the nature of his welcome.

"Nothing special," Brian replied. "Just everything. I think I'm happy about everything."

"And you're sure you're not sick?" Justin asked for reassurance.

"Not sick," Brian insisted. "Just happy." And so they sat together in silence for a good while. Justin was certainly happy too.

"Have you talked to Daphne lately?" Brian asked Justin a while later, breaking the silence.

"Yeah,' Justin told him. "She's real busy with some sorority charity thing." Then after a moment's thought, Justin asked him back, "Have you been talking to Daphne lately, Bri"

"Why would I be talking to Daphne?" Brian pointed out.

"No reason," Justin responded before another period of silence fell upon the loft.

It was Justin's turn to restart the conversation this time. "You know, Brian," he said. "I'd rather be here with you than any other place in the world, so I always hurry to get here so we can be together. But if getting here late gets me a reception like tonight, maybe I should be late more often."

"Cut it out, Twink," Brian retorted. "You know I love you whether you're early or late. I do kind of like having you around."

Justin plopped his head onto Brian's shoulder. "You know I love you too, Mr. Kinney, and I always will. That's for sure."

Brian squeezed the kid. They were smiling at each other when Justin finished the discussion for the evening. "If you just happen to be talking to Daphne, Honey," he told Brian, "You can tell her that I'm not going to kill her."

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