Tune In Again Next Year

The fake fireplace crackled as the guys sat themselves down on the floor in front of it.  They just stared at the flames jumping back and forth for a few minutes before Justin had something to say.

"Hey, Brian," he announced.  "You know that TV commercial you guys were stewing about last month.  I saw it on TV this afternoon.  I thought you said it wasn't going to be released till next month."

"It really isn't," Brian replied, "But we tested it out this afternoon."

"Well I saw it twice," Justin informed him.  "And I thought it was better the second time around."

"It was the same commercial both times," Brian laughed at him.

"Well it grows on you then, Bri," Justin maintained.  "That's good though.  People won't mind seeing it over and over again.  Did you get to see it, Brian?"

"Yep, that was the point of testing it," Brian answered.  "Then we had a big conference call.  Everybody thought it carried the message we were looking for."

"You guys are really good," Justin mused.  "Even when I don't help on a project, you're still good."

The lack of a response from Brian ushered in a quiet period in the loft.  The discussion, however, was far from over – very far from over in fact.

"You know what, Baby," Brian broke the silence.  "We only showed that commercial twice today – once at the beginning and once near the end of the soap opera, Life Is Not Always Ugly.  Anybody who saw it twice was probably watching the soap opera.  Didn't you say you saw it twice?  Now I just wonder…."

 

"Cut it out, Brian," Justin interrupted.  "It just happened that it was on in the student union when I was over there – and I just happened to catch the commercials by luck."

"I bet you wouldn't tell me if you were a soap opera addict," Brian cajoled.  "I bet you wouldn't."

"No I wouldn't," Justin smiled at him.  "You don't need anything else to pick on me about.  But actually I did watch LINAU a bit when I was at St. James.  We had open campus so we could watch if we were free – and some of the kids did get interested.  And my mother used to watch it at home too - and I guess I watched with her a few times."

"So you are telling me you weren't watching today," Brian quizzed, "And that you just saw the commercials by accident.  I'll believe you if that's what you are saying."

"Dammit. Brian," Justin objected.  "You're watching too many of those district attorney shows.  You know I won't lie to you.  Maybe I was watching LINAU today – but I don't always watch it.  Today was a big episode – Mrs; Carstairs' funeral – and she wasn't really dead, Bri.  She was there – in the back row with a heavy black veil over her face."

"And nobody noticed her, I guess," Brian grinned.

"Of course they noticed her, Brian," Justin came back, "But they didn't know it was Mrs. Carstairs.  She's pretty good at that, Bri.  I think this is maybe the third time she's gone to her own funeral."

"Must be a cat," Brian laughed at him.  "Nine lives and all.  She's got six more funerals to go, I guess.  But that's why we tested our new commercial today.  We knew it was going to draw a big audience.  Didn't expect my own little Justin to be among them though.  A soap opera watcher, no less."

"Cut it out, Brian," Justin moaned.  "A lot of college kids watch soap operas.  That's how they learn about real life.  I don’t really watch all that much.  Just when Malcolm tells me something big is gonna happen – like maybe just a couple of times a year.  Can you just forget about the soap operas, huh?"

"Maybe," Brian teased, "And maybe not.  What'll you give me if I quit talking about soap operas?"

"More like what I'll give you if you don't," Justin defended himself.  "I can be mean too if I have to be.  You just don't know that because I never have to."

"Which is because I never give you anything to be mean about," Brian decided.  "Because I am always so nice to you.  And I'll be nice this time too.  No more talk about Mrs. Murchison's funeral."

Something lit up in Justin's head and a broad smile erupted on his face.  "Say, Mr. Kinney," He challenged, "You just called Mrs. Carstairs Mrs. Murchison.  Why did you do that?"

"I don't know," Brian responded nervously.

"Well I do," Justin crowed with delight.  "Murchison was Mrs. Carstairs second or third husband – before I ever watched LINAU.  He was the one who fell out of the boat on the Amazon and was eaten by piranhas – while he was tracking down ivory smugglers."

"There are no elephants in South America, Honey," Brian told him, "So it would be unlikely to find ivory smugglers there."

"Which is exactly why Murchison had so much trouble finding them, I guess," Justin conjectured.  "But I don't think we should change the subject now.  Big tough Brian Kinney knew that Mrs. Carstairs used to be Mrs. Murchison – and I want to know just how he knew."

"Well maybe LINAU was on in the student union when I was in college," Brian guessed.  "And I must have heard the name while I was passing through."

"So you are telling me you didn't usually watch it, Bri," Justin wondered, grinning broadly.  "I'll believe you if that's what you are saying."

"All right, Twink," Brian admitted.  "Maybe I did watch it a few times just to see what was going on."

"Brian Kinney – a soap opera addict," Justin mused.  "Life sure is strange.  I never know what I'll learn next."

"Now you cut it out, Baby," Brian commanded.  "Me and Mikey used to watch it over there because Debbie was addicted – but we were never addicted – and so I watched it a little bit in college.  And that's it – the whole story.  By the way, didn't Mrs. Murchison have a young daughter back then? Bet she‘s about your age.  Maybe that‘s why you watch?”

"Yeah," Justin confirmed.  "Glenda.  She used to be my age.  She went away to a boarding school in eleventh grade and when she came back the next summer she was a brain surgeon.  She's still on the program but she's even older than you now."

"You know what, Baby," Brian pondered.  "I know colleges have accelerated medical school programs but maybe too much is too much.  I don't think I'd want Glenda operating on my brain.  Or on yours either.  But, come to think about that, maybe she already has.  It would explain a lot.  You know what else though, Sweetheart, if you ever want to watch LINAU here sometime, it will be OK.  Your secret is safe with me."

"And I bet if I do," Justin chortled, "I'll have company.  But I'll keep your secret too, Bri.  I love you and I keep all your secrets.  If anybody finds out what a great guy you are, it didn't come from me."

"Thanks, Twink," Brian responded.  "I know I can count on you."

"Well, now that we've got that settled," Justin seemed relieved.  "We have the whole evening ahead of us.  What do you think we ought to do?  You always have such good ideas."

"Well, Brian suggested, "Maybe you can bring me up to date on what Mrs. Murchison has been doing for the last fifteen years or so."

Actually, Justin had some other ideas of his own – and - as usual - Justin prevailed.  And Brian had no complaints at all.

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