Irreconcilable Differences

The fire blazed in the fake fireplace.  The guys had just finished eating and they settled themselves on the floor in front of it.  Brian was looking forward to a quiet uneventful evening with the twink.  Maybe he should have known better.

Justin began the conversation.  “Do you love me?” he asked Brian.

“Well, I did right up until just now,” Brian replied.  “What the hell is this all about?  You can have what you want or we’ll do what you want to do.  How does that sound?”

“I guess you don’t want to answer my question, Bri,” Justin told him.  “That scares me.”

“Baby,” Brian squeezed the kid a little closer.  “What’s the story?  How about some background.”

“I guess you already heard about Bill and Carlos breaking up,” Justin said.  “They were together longer than we have been, and I thought they would last forever.”

“But this isn’t the first couple we know who broke up, Kiddo,” Brian reminded him.  “Do we have to go through this every time somebody else we know breaks up?  Yeah, I was surprised about Bill and Carlos.  They always seemed to get along pretty well, but these things happen to everybody.  You see all those movie stars who are all lovey-dovey one week and the next week they have ‘irreconcilable differences.’”

“That happens to everybody?” Justin sort of stammered.

“Wrong choice of words, Baby,” Brian reassured him.  “Sorry.  What I meant to say is that this kind of stuff happens in all communities – gay, straight and whatever else.  I didn’t mean that it happens to everybody in any community.  It’s not going to happen to us.”

“You’re sure it’s not going to happen to us?” Justin asked.

“Sure as I can be about anything,” Brian responded, “Provided I can convince you it’s not going to happen to us so you won’t keep bugging me about it forever.”

Brian was not sure he had convinced Justin but the silence that followed that particular exchange gave him hope – which lasted all of fifteen minutes or so.

“We do have differences sometimes, Brian,” Justin renewed the discussion, “But they’re never irreconcilable differences.  Right?”

”Nope,” Brian said, “They’re never irreconcilable as long as we do what you want.”

“Now that’s not fair at all, Brian Kinney,” Justin objected.  “You’d be surprised at all the stuff I do just because you want to do it.”

“No differences there, Sweetheart,” Brian agreed.  “I admit I would really be surprised at all the things you do just because I want to do them – if I knew what they were, that is.”

“You’re making fun of me now, Brian,” Justin complained, “And all I’m trying to do is make sure everything’s OK between us.”

“Well if I am making fun of you – and I’m admitting nothing of the sort,” Brian reasoned, “Then things are pretty much normal the way you see them, so what are you complaining about.”

“You’re just trying to avoid telling me you love me,” Justin groused.  “That’s all I asked you in the first place.”

”I love you, Baby,” Brian replied.  “I love you.  It’s not just words either.  Don’t I always bring you a nice present every time I go to the dollar store?”

“Yeah,” Justin had to smile.  “You do.  Sometimes I forget that.  I guess you do still love me”

“So this discussion is officially over, is it?” Brian conjectured.  “I hope.”

“Well don’t you think we can learn something from them breaking up?” Justin wanted to know.  “They seemed perfect for each other – and they worked together too.”

“Yeah they did,” Brian recounted.  “And they’re not going to dissolve the law partnership either.  They’re still going to work together.  Their differences were all personal and not professional, I guess.”

“Wouldn’t that be hard?” Justin figured.  “Working together every day after they’ve broken up.”

“Maybe,” Brian answered, “But I guess they think they can do it.  At least they’re going to try.”

“I couldn’t do it,” Justin declared.

“And I don’t think you’ll ever have to either,” Brian smiled at him.  “But you’re tough, JT.  You could do whatever you had to do, I’ll bet.”

”Well they’ll see a lot of each other, working together,” Justin thought out loud, “So maybe they’ll be able to get back together and solve their irreconcilable differences.  Maybe working together is a good idea after all.”

“But I don’t think we could ever do that.  I have no intention of taking up art, Baby,” Brian laughed, “No such talent, so that couldn’t happen and it’s not going to happen.  And I don’t expect you’re going to move into advertising either, though you could if you ever decided that you wanted to, and you have really helped us out at Kinnetics a couple of times.”

“Yeah,” Justin had to agree,” “I think we’d be more likely to have irreconcilable differences at work than at home – because we’re both perfectionists at what we do at work.”

“We’re perfectionists here at home too, Baby,” Brian reminded him.  “We just like the same things – and I guess I like doing just about anything at all– if I’m doing it with you.”

“OK, Sweetheart,” Justin said.  “I guess I’m satisfied.  You do love me.  I knew it all along but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded.  I just wanted to hear you say it.  Maybe that’s what got Bill and Carlos to their irreconcilable differences – not telling each other how they felt?”

“I don’t think so,” Brian doubted that conclusion.

“Well, maybe not,” Justin allowed, “But you don’t know for sure about that.  Telling people you love that you love them is always a good idea, I think.  And I’m sorry I’m such a pest, Brian.  It’s just that I’m not as confident as you are about things.  I’ll try though.  I’ll get better.  I really will.  I just want so much for things between us to be perfect – just like they are.  Just bear with me, please….  OK, Kinney, you’ve got your way finally.  This discussion is now over.  I’m satisfied and I’m going to quit talking.  It’s your turn to decide what we talk about for the rest of the evening.”

The guys sat quietly together, possibly meditating, for a while before Brian decided what he wanted to talk about.

“Do you love me?” he asked the kid.

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