Cross Words

The fireplace was lit. Brian was already seated on the floor vacantly staring at the flickering flames. It was a few minutes before the kid joined him. Brian was not surprised when his attempt to circle the twink with his arm was repulsed.

"I am really mad at you, Brian," Justin announced.

"It won't last," Brian suggested in reply.

"Of course it won't last," Justin agreed coldly, "You know I love you and it won't last. But that's no reason for you not to be concerned. You're supposed to be concerned when I'm mad at you."

"I am concerned, Baby," Brian assured him. "I am really truly concerned, but then I know there is really nothing I can do when you're mad at me. You know there isn't anything I can do."

"You could apologize," Justin told him. "You could be sorry."

"I did apologize," Brian reminded him. "I thought I already did apologize."

"But you weren't sorry, Brian," Justin came back. "You weren't sorry then and you aren't sorry now. In fact, you think the whole thing is funny - ruining my day like you did."

"The day isn't over yet," Brian smiled, successfully getting his arm around the kid this time. "There may be something I can still do to keep your day from being ruined."

"Well you could try," Justin admitted, smiling back just a little at the big guy, "But it's going to be a hard job. If anybody could do it though, it would be you."

"I'm gonna try, Baby," Brian assured him. "I'm really gonna try."

A period of silence ensued, during which Brian did try, with some success too, but not enough to bring an end to the discussion.

"Are you ever going to tell me why you did it?" Justin asked eventually with no semblance of any remaining anger. "You don't even like crossword puzzles."

"No, I don't really," Brian conceded. "At least not all that much. I just got back early and you weren't here. I saw this puzzle half done and so I finished it. Baby, you always start the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle and I don't know that you've ever finished one. I just figured that you had given up on it."

"Brian, I'm not one to be giving up on anything," Justin corrected him. "I never give up on the puzzles. It's just that sometimes I quit working on them before they're finished."

"I'm glad you explained that to me," Brian laughed. "A really subtle distinction. Here I thought you just gave up on the puzzles."

"Never," Justin reassured him. "But it's just that I was sure I was going to get this one done for a change. You were supposed to be at the office all day and I had plenty of time. So when I was half finished, I decided to go over and see Malcolm for a while and then come back and finish the puzzle so I'd be sure I was here when you got home. I missed you."

"And I missed you too, Baby," Brian replied, "Which is why I hurried through the stuff at the office and got back here early - and no Justin. But there was this crossword puzzle lying there, so I finished it. It was all innocent, Kiddo, and just because I was missing you."

"I'm going to believe that crap. Kinney, because I want it to be true," Justin laughed, "But I don't want you to think I can be fooled that easily. I know how you are."

"Yeah you do," Brian admitted. "But am I helping at all to save your ruined day?"

"I think so," Justin said back, "But there's a lot more to be done on that score, I think."

"I'll keep working on it then," Brian told him.

"I wish you would," Justin replied, putting his head down onto Brian's shoulder. It seemed that the cross words on the crossword were over, but it was not so.

" I guess I ought to tell you, Bri," Justin returned to the subject after a while, "You had a couple of wrong words in the part of the puzzle that you did. I was fixing them and that's why I was late sitting down here with you. Maybe I shouldn't be telling you that?"

"Not at all, Sweetheart. I'm glad you told me," Brian came back. "Actually I put a couple of wrongies in there so that you could have the pleasure of fixing them, but I wasn't sure you had. I guess you also noticed that I had corrected a few things you had wrong in the top part of the puzzle."

"You are absolutely impossible, Brian Kinney," Justin laughed at him. "Impossible."

"Do you want me to try to be more possible?" Brian wanted to know. "I could try that if you want me to."

"Of course I don't want you to," Justin informed him. "I love you just the way you are."

"And I love you just the way you are too," Brian replied, "Even when you're mad at me."

"Well I'm not mad at you now, Honey," Justin told him. "And I'll probably never ever get mad at you again."

"Probably not," Brian grinned as he pulled the kid closer to him.

It was Brian who broke the ensuing silence eventually. "You know what, Baby," he said to the kid. "I'm going to buy you one of those books of Times Sunday puzzles. Then you can do them at your leisure. I'll bet you get them all worked."

"And I'll bet you're doing that so that I'll have something else to do and not be bothering you all the time," Justin faked a complaint.

"Nope," Brian responded. "I don't mind you bothering me all the time. I might even like you bothering me all the time."

"And you're not afraid that I'll get too busy with the puzzles to want to bother you?" Justin smiled at him archly.

"Nope," Brian replied diffidently, "I figure I can compete well enough with any old book of crossword puzzles - if I want to."

"Oh you'll want to," Justin stated confidently as he wrapped his arms around Brian's neck. "But will you also want to help me with the puzzles if I ever need help?"

"Whatever you need," Brian assured him, "And whenever you need it."

Justin decided that his day was not ruined after all.

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