Devio(u)sity

Brian was seated in front of the crackling artificial fireplace. He was listening to the crackle and not watching the flickering flames because he had his eyes closed. He was waiting for Justin to join him. He didn't know how long he was sitting there when he felt the kid nestling up beside him.

"Aren't you glad we went to Chicago last weekend," He asked the kid.

"Yeah," Justin admitted. "I think the exhibit did me a lot of good - career-wise."

"Well we wouldn't have gone if I hadn't accidently found out about it, Twink," Brian recalled. "You and your deviosity."

"That's a funny word, Bri," Justin smiled. "I think you made it up. I'd challenge you if we were playing Scrabble but I'll let it go now under the circumstances."

"D-E-V-I-O-S-I-T-Y" Brian spelled out. "Sounds like a good word to me. Describes a lot of your behavior too."

"Wouldn't it have to be spelled 'D-E-V-I-O-U-S-I-T-Y', with a 'U' if it was a word, which it isn't?" Justin argued. "But I guess I'll have to spell it your way. We always need to do things your way."

That answer bothered Brian a little but he chose to ignore it. "Well whatever," Brian decided. "However it's spelled, I don't see why you just can't tell me everything so we can talk about it. You might have missed that opportunity in Chicago and I don't want you to miss any opportunities."

"That's just it, Bri," Justin told him. "You always make me do what you want me to do. You never let me make up my own mind. I always have to do what you want me to do. That's why I have to be devious - so I can do what I want to do sometimes. You're right most of the time but I never get to do what I want."

"You think I always make you do what I want you to do?" Brian echoed. :Really?"

"Yeah but it's OK, Brian," Justin replied. "Most of the time I don't mind."

It took Brian a few moments to process that reply. He didn't know exactly how to respond. But he didn't have to. What sounded like an explosion to Brian rocked the loft.

But it wasn't an explosion at all. It was Justin entering the loft.

"I'm home, Bri," he called. "I'm sorry I was delayed but I'm still here fifteen minutes before I said I'd be home. Brian you look like I woke you up. Were you sleeping?"

"I must have been," Brian told him as Justin slipped down onto the floor, planting a kiss on Brian's cheek while settling into Brian's unready arms.

"Well I hope you were dreaming about me, " Justin told him. "I bet you were. What were you dreaming about us doing? I'd like to know."

"I don't think I remember," Brian lied.

"Bet you do and I was winning some battle," Justin gibed. "You wouldn't want to admit that so I guess I'll never know. Talk about being devious."

"What made you bring up devious, Baby?" Brian wanted to know.

"It was a joke, Honey," Justin responded. "You're always accusing me of being devious and I thought I'd call you devious too. It was a joke. Is something the matter, Brian?"

"Are you glad we ended up in Chicago last week end?" Brian answered with a question of his own.

"Of course I'm glad," Justin said. "I'm sure I made some good contacts there. It was wrong of me not to tell you about the Chicago exhibition. I wouldn't have wanted to go without you but I should have told you about it. I'm sorry about that."

"You don't think I always make you do what I want you to do?" Brian quizzed. "I don't want to do that and I don't want you to think I do that either."

"Gee whiz, Bri," Justin seemed puzzled. "What's going on? Of course I don't think that at all. Sometimes I feel a little guilty myself because I think you always do what I want to do and not what you want."

"Just a little guilty though, I guess," Brian had to smile, "And you seem to recover pretty quickly."

"Yeah," Justin smiled back. "Guilt doesn't suit my personality very well. I'm kind of self-centered, you know."

"No you aren't," Brian disagreed laughingly. "You might seem like that sometimes but you are a very generous guy. You're always trying to help somebody, no matter how hard it is on me."

"Brian, I'm not getting what's going on here," Justin informed him. "You are being devious somehow or other. What's going on?"

"OK," Brian replied. "I wonder why you are ever devious with me at all," Brian came out with it. "Couldn't you just tell me everything and we could talk about it? Do you have some reason for being devious?"

"Do I have to tell?" Justin wanted to know.

"If you don't want to be accused of being devious, Baby," Brian told him, "I think you do."

"Brian," Justin told him. "You are the greatest guy in the world and I love you as much as humanly possible, but sometimes I think you do things that you don't want to do, except that they're good for me. You would do anything if it was good for me. You would give up anything for yourself if it was good for me. I know it and you know it too, don't you?"

"I don't think I'd put it exactly that way," Brian told him.

"No, you wouldn't," Justin told him. "That's how you are. Well sometimes I want to do things that you want to do just because you want to do them, things that are neat for you, and I don't want you worrying about what's the best thing for me and my career and all that stuff. If you promise not to insist that we always do what's good for me, I'll quit being devious. Will you promise that?"

"I don't think so," Brian stammered.

"Then deviousity is going to remain part of our relationship," Justin informed him, "I just made up that word, D-E-V-I-O-U-S-I-T-Y, I made up that word. Neat, huh?"

Brian shuddered just a little at that but kept up the conversation. "But it never works no matter how you spell it, but actually I don't think it needs the 'u'." Brian started to say. "You never get away with being devious."

"Oh yeah it works," Justin informed him. "You just only know when it doesn't. You don't know when it does. And I think deviousity needs the 'u' too."

"OK, Twink," Brian gave in, "You win. Stick to your deviosity if you have to. I don't think there should be a 'u' in deviosity though, even if you did make it up. But we can agree to spell it differently or maybe just not spell it at all. That is a good solution if it's all right with you. But you win. I give up. Be devious if you have to."

"Hey, Brian, I don't think I know what I won, or how I won, and I'm not even sure I'm glad I won this time, even if I did," Justin mused. "This whole conversation has been strange and I'm still pretty mixed up. I think maybe I'm sorry I woke you up."

"Oh no, Baby," Brian assured him with a loving squeeze that Justin interpreted correctly, "Don't be sorry about that."

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