Not Available in Stores

Brian knew something was up long before the guys got themselves settled in front of their flickering fireplace. He put his arm around the kid and waited for whatever was coming. He didn't have long to wait.

"You got a package from UPS today, Bri," Justin announced.

"I did?" Brian responded. "What was in it? I presume you steamed it open to see what it was and then resealed it - or maybe you just used your x-ray vision."

"No. I did not steam it open or open it any other way either," Justin defended himself. "I wouldn't do that ever, but in this case I didn't need to. It said on the outside what was in it. DVDs of the fifty greatest horror movies ever. You know horror movies scare me and you ordered 50 of them. Thanks a lot, Kinney."

"It's your own fault, Twink," Brian informed him, seemingly taking the offensive. "If you weren't always watching Hitler on the History Channel, I would never have seen the ad with the 800 number. These DVDs are not available in stores so I would never have known about them. And only $19.95 plus shipping and handling. A real bargain. So if anybody's to blame, it's you. You wouldn't catch me watching the History Channel if it weren't for you, Sweetheart."

"Oh no you don't, Honey" Justin protested. "Just because I have an intellectual curiosity about World War II doesn't mean you have to order horror movies. I'm just interested in ancient history. That was even before you were born, and both my grandfathers were in the army back then. So naturally I'm interested, but that doesn't mean I buy any of the crap I see advertised there."

"I doubt you even heard about Hitler till you saw The Producers, Baby," Brian gibed. "I think that was what inspired your intellectual curiosity. The Producers was a really intellectual movie."

"Cut it out, Brian," Justin protested. "You're just trying to change the subject. You ordered fifty horror movies and that's what we're discussing. You didn't order the pots they were advertising, and you didn't order that cleaner that cleans everything either. So you made a conscious decision to order those DVDs and now we have fifty horror movies to watch. And you know that scares me. That was just mean of you to do that."

"Well don't you always say I'm mean?" Brian reasoned.

"Yeah," Justin suppressed a smile, "But usually I don't mean it."

It was a little while before the conversation resumed.

"OK, Bri," Justin said, "If we're gonna watch those horror movies, there are going to be some rules set up."

"Rules?" Brian complained. "You want rules."

"Yep," Justin maintained. "First, whenever we watch any of those scary movies, I have to be sitting on your lap with both your arms around me, like we do on Halloween."

"Fair enough," Brian acquiesced, pulling the kid onto his lap and wrapping both arms around him. "Is this what you mean?"

"Yeah," Justin told him, "But you might just have to hold me a little tighter if the movie is really scary."

"I can do that," Brian agreed. "We can practice now if you want to."

"Sounds like that might be a good idea," Justin replied. "But there's another rule too, Brian. You just might have to keep your arm around me all night too if the movie is especially scary."

"You drive a hard bargain, Twink," Brian assured him, "But I guess I can live with that rule too. I hope there aren't any more though."

"Don't know," Justin answered, "But I'm still thinking."

"That's bad news," Brian allowed, as the kid put his head down on Brian's shoulder, thereby introducing yet another pause in the discussion.

It was quite a while before the conversation continued.

"You know what, Bri," Justin broke the silence. "To show what a good sport I am, we can watch one of those horror movies right now, if you want to, subject of course to the established rules. You want to open the package?"

"We can open the packing," Brian smiled at the kid, "But we can't open the package, Baby. The DVDs are not actually for us. I ordered them as a gift for Mikey. He has a birthday coming up and you know how Mikey and me like horror movies. Of course I'm getting him something else too but I thought he'd like to have these DVDs. I might watch some of them with him when you aren't available. You're a lot better than any horror movie any old day though."

"One step up from Frankenstein?" Justin had to smile.

"At least one step up from Frankenstein, Baby," Brian told him. "Maybe more."

"Well why didn't you say the dumb things were for Mikey in the first place?" Justin wondered. "Why did you let me go on like that?"

"Probably just because I'm mean," Brian thought, sliding Justin off his lap and back onto the floor. "I don't know. Maybe it was because I wanted to try out the rules, even though we won't be needing them."

It was another little while before Justin resumed the discussion.

"You know, Brian," he said, "Sometimes, I guess I'm a little bit selfish. You like horror movies like Mikey does, so you should probably have a set of the DVDs like you're giving to Mikey. Maybe, the next time we watch Hitler on History Channel, I'll order you a set. What do you think?"

"Well I don't want to be selfish either, Baby," Brian responded, "And I know horror movies scare you, so I don't want you to order them for me unless you agree to the two rules we discussed before."

"Gee whiz," Justin seemed surprised. "You really drive a hard bargain, but if you insist, I guess that will be OK. I really want you to have the DVDs so I have to agree to your terms."

"OK, then," Brian concluded, grabbing the remote control. "Let's get History Channel on and look for the ad."

"Good idea," Justin agreed. "We'll have our own set of DVDs before we know it."

"Maybe we ought to practice the rules then," Brian suggested. "We want to be ready when they come."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Justin agreed, climbing back up onto Brian's lap and pulling Brian's arms around him.

"You know what, Baby," Brian suggested, "Maybe someday you won't even be scared of horror movies at all. What do you think?"

"Not very likely," Justin told him, pulling Brian's arms around himself more tightly. "I'm not crazy."

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