Models of Stability

Bill Drew had eaten dinner in the loft with our guys. Bill had first visited the loft as a trick of Brian's called Hotlanta. He had been kind to Justin on that night when Justin needed a friend. Bill was a traveling salesman out of Atlanta who came through Pittsburgh a couple of times a year and invariably ate jambalaya with the guys when he was in town. Bill had seen Brian and Justin at their worst and he had seen Brian and Justin at their best. He had often told them that his goal was to have a relationship like theirs. This time he told them that he had met Paul and that he thought maybe he now had what he was looking for. He promised to bring Paul to Pittsburgh sometime soon and invited the guys to visit with him and Paul in Atlanta. He told Brian and Justin that he hoped his relationship with Paul would turn out just like theirs. That seemed to please both Brian and Justin. Then he went on to comment "You guys are real models of stability." That also pleased Justin but the kid noticed a weird look on Brian's face just then. Justin filed that information away for future reference.

The future came about a half-hour after Bill left. The guys had just positioned themselves on the floor of the loft, facing the fireplace whose artificial flames were darting back and forth. Brian was just a little slow putting his arm around Justin. That may have worked out for the best.

"How does it feel to be a model of stability, Honey?" Justin asked archly.

"I think we are about to have one of our really big fights, Sweetheart," Brian answered. "I might not be in the mood for any of your needling tonight."

"Geez, Bri," Justin exclaimed. "I'm not needling at all. I was just trying to start a conversation."

"Like hell you are," Brian replied. "Every time Bill comes here, you get reminded of how shitty I treated you the first time he was here. You're looking for revenge, that's what you're doing. Why don't you just get off it? You won. I lost. I admit it."

"Wait a minute, Mr. Kinney," Justin objected. "What do you mean? I got you so I won. You got me so you lost."

"That sounds like what I mean, I guess," Brian came back. "I wonder why some people who like to needle other people are not so happy when they get needled themselves."

"Well then you're right about one thing, Brian," Justin decided. "I think we are about to have one of our really big fights."

"Well then, go ahead and start it," Brian challenged him.

"Maybe I would," Justin retorted, "But it just might be that some people around here are not talking to other people around here."

And that was the actual case. Justin was not speaking to Brian - a condition that pertained for a full twenty minutes before Justin resumed the "discussion."

"I think we should go to Atlanta, Bri," he suggested.

"So Paul can get a load of the models of stability?" Brian wondered with a touch of sarcasm.

"Yeah," Justin answered, "That, and you know I have relatives in Atlanta that you have never met. Since our relationship is so stable, you ought to meet them."

"Oh yeah," Brian recalled. "That cousin of yours who looks exactly like you lives down there. That might be a good idea. Maybe he'd have all your good points and none of the bad."

"So my good points are my looks," Justin complained. "You only love me for my looks and not my brains, eh?"

"Well you have to admit you are cute," Brian pointed out.

"Yeah," Justin agreed. "I concede that I am cute, but I'm a lot more than just looks. You have to admit that."

"I already did," Brian laughed at him. "Didn't I mention you have bad points too?"

"You're lucky I'm not talking to you, Brian Kinney," Justin warned him, "Or I'd really let you have it."

And Justin wasn't talking to Brian for at least another twenty minutes.

"I'll bet you wish you could have kept Bill here all night like you did the first time he was here," Justin finally broke the silence.

"Maybe," Brian responded. "Then you could have run over and complained to the munchers like you did that time."

"If I were speaking to you, Brian Kinney," Justin admonished him, "I'd really tell you off."

"I guess I'm lucky you're not speaking to me then," Brian decided.

It was another while before any further discussion ensued.

It was Brian who spoke first this time. "I guess if Bill were here now, he would see that we are not models of stability," he told the kid.

"I guess not, Bri," Justin agreed. "Does it matter to you that other people think we're models of stability as long as we know we're not?"

"Nah," Brian told him. "We know what we are. Who cares what other people think?"

Another period of silence ensued. It wasn't that they weren't speaking to each other this time though. It was just that they weren't speaking.

Brian broke the silence. "You are the greatest guy in the world, Baby," he told the kid.

"Well, it didn't sound like you thought that a little while ago," Justin marveled.

"Do you think I didn't know what you were doing, you silly twink?" Brian said. "You thought I didn't like the idea of being a model of stability and you wanted to help me prove that I wasn't."

"Why did you think that?" Justin questioned, "Or maybe I should say how did you know that?"

"Because you love me and you want me to be happy and you'd do anything you think would make me happy - even if you have to drive me crazy in the process," Brian observed. "That's what you always do. You really are a model of stability, Baby. I try to do the same thing for you but I'm not as good at it as you are."

"That makes it sound like we're both models of stability, Bri," Justin figured. "Doesn't it?"

"Yeah it does," Brian opined. "You know what, Baby. We are models of stability and I think maybe I like the idea. I like what we've got and I want to keep things just the way they are." He cuddled the kid and thereby ushered in another period of silence.

"Hey, Brian," Justin broke the spell, "Now that we're models of stability, do you think we'll ever be part of the establishment?"

"Sweetheart," Brian pleaded, "Please do me a favor. Quit speaking to me, and I'm asking that in a loving, life-affirming way."

"Whatever you want," Justin smiled at him. "Don't I always do whatever makes you happy? That's what makes me a model of stability."

Return to Fireside Chats