Being Themselves

Brian and Justin loved sitting alone together in front of their fake fireplace's flickering flames but Justin was actually not looking forward to their sitting down there on this particular evening. Or more specifically, he was just a bit uneasy about how the evening might begin. But he had decided to take the bull by the horns.

"OK, Brian," he began. "I have two questions for you and I want you to listen to each entire question before you say 'No.' Please, Brian."

"I can do better than that," Brian offered. "I can see that you're not looking forward to asking me these questions so I'll just say 'No' now and you won't even have to ask the questions at all. How does that sound?"

"Like Brian Kinney being Brian Kinney," Justin replied. "But I know you're just trying to lighten the mood and make things easier for me. I appreciate the effort but I'm going to ask the questions anyhow."

"OK then, I'll try to do it your way," Brian conceded. "You know I always do my best to please you."

"That we can talk about later," Justin laughed. "I think you know that one of the trends in theater these days is play reading, where people just sit on stage and read old plays or radio broadcasts. Don't say anything, Brian. Well the Gay and Lesbian Center is having a benefit reading of Twelve Angry Men next month. It's a play about this jury that has problems."

"I know the play," Brian interrupted. "I think I saw it twice, and there was a movie too."

"You weren't supposed to interrupt," Justin complained.

"Wrong, Twink," Brian corrected him. "I wasn't supposed to say 'No' and I'm not going to say 'No' till you're completely finished but you didn't say I couldn't interrupt to clarify matters."

"Well anyhow," Justin forged on. "They asked Malcolm to produce and direct it. Mikey's going to be in it - and so is Chuck. There's a chance Abelard may come in from Columbus for one of the roles. Malcolm would really like it if you would be in it too. Don't say anything. I haven't asked the question yet."

"I can't imagine what the question is going to be," Brian laughed. "But I have one of my own: 'Why would Malcolm want me in his damn play?'"

"Maybe because it's about angry men," Justin retorted, "And he thinks you might fit that requirement, Mr. Kinney, Sir. But actually, that isn't the reason. Malcolm says you give plays a certain 'pop.'"

"Pop?" Brian wondered.

"Yeah," Justin assured him. "Like pizazz. You're a natural on stage, Kinney. You light up the stage when you're out there. You won't have to learn lines for this, Bri. There aren't any long rehearsals. Probably two practice read-throughs. It's not a lot of work and it's for a good cause. Malcolm wants you for one particular role but he says you can have any role you want if you decide to do it."

"And why doesn't Malcolm ask me himself?" Brian wondered.

"He's afraid of you," Justin explained. "I've told you lots of times - they're all afraid of you. You are a scary person."

"So if I could just get rid of you," Brian deduced, "Nobody would bother me with their crazy projects."

"Probably that would work," Justin conceded, rubbing his hair against Brian's face. "Wanna try?"

"Is that the question?" Brian wanted to know.

"That is not the question," Justin gritted his teeth. "And you know full well what the question is going to be but I haven't asked it yet so you can't say 'No.'"

"Do you want me to do it?" Brian asked the kid.

"I want you to do what you want to do," Justin insisted. "I never try to influence you to do anything you don't want to do, and I couldn't even if I wanted to. You're too tough, Kinney. OK, now here is the first question: 'What do I tell Malcolm?' You can think about it for a while if you want to."

"How long do I have to think about it?" Brian wondered.

"Well, I guess I'd like to know before we go to bed," Justin responded.

"Now there's a threat if I ever heard one," Brian grinned.

"Dammit, Bri," Justin groaned. "You are good at a lot of things but I think your biggest talent is making difficult things impossible. I promised Malcolm I'd call him tonight and give him your answer if I was able to pry an answer out of you. That's why I want to know and that's the only reason I want to know - so there."

"OK, I'll think about it," Brian promised. "You said there were two questions, I seem to remember?"

"Yeah," Justin responded. "Malcolm wants me in the play reading too. Is it all right with you if I tell him I'll do it? I think it might be fun."

"Am I getting this straight?" Brian asked him. "You're asking my permission to do something you want to do."

"Yeah," Justin said. "What's so strange about that?"

"Nothing, I guess," Brian allowed. "There has to be a first time for everything." That earned him an elbow to the ribs, not a very hard one though.

That activity brought a pause to the discussion. Justin was relieved that he had done what he had promised Malcolm he would. He rested his head on Brian's shoulder, breathing easier.

It was a little while before Brian returned to the subject at hand. "You know, it is for a good cause and all," he reopened the discussion.

"Yes, it is," Justin agreed.

"And I do project a certain personality across the footlights," Brian added.

"Yes, you do," Justin agreed again.

"Maybe I should do it," Brian conjectured. "But I'm afraid you might think I was doing it just because you wanted me to, and then you might feel guilty for getting me to do something I really didn't want to do."

"Oh no, Brian," Justin assured him. "I'd know you were doing it because you decided it was a good thing to do. You always do the right thing. Don't move while I call Malcolm. I want to sit here a while yet."

It didn't take Justin long to negotiate his call to Malcolm and return to Brian's waiting arms. They didn't say anything for a fairly long time until Brian finished off the evening's conversation.

"You do know I'm only doing this play thing because you want me to, don't you?" Brian asked the twink.

"Yeah, " Justin admitted.

"And you don't feel the least bit guilty about it, do you?" Brian continued.

"Nope," Justin also admitted. "I hope you're not mad at me."

"Why should I be mad?" Brian told him. "It's only Justin Taylor being Justin Taylor."

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