A Valentine's Day Massacre

It was the Sunday evening before Valentine's Day, the big day for lovers everywhere. The lovers who live in the loft were settling down in front of their fake fireplace. It was a custom for them and one they usually enjoyed. It had been an eventful weekend - very eventful indeed.

Justin, as was usually the case, opened the conversation. "I hate you, Brian Kinney," he told Brian.

"Why then," Brian replied, "Did you let me put my arm around you if you hate me?"

"So you'll be defenseless if I decide to punch you right in the jaw or in that flabby stomach of yours," Justin informed him.

"I guess I've done something to offend you then?" Brian surmised.

"Who the hell is Caroline?" Justin asked. "That would be my first question."

"I guess Caroline would be the name of my girl friend," Brian confessed, "That is, if I had a girl friend."

"And so you told that lunkhead Abelard that you did have a girl friend," Justin gritted his teeth, "And that her name is Caroline."

"Not guilty," Brian replied. "I never told Abe that I had a girl friend or that her name was Caroline."

"Then did I not hear that moron tell you that he hoped Caroline liked the Valentine's Day gift you got her?" Justin accused him.

"I guess maybe you did hear that," Brian admitted. "He did say it, or at least something like that."

"So Abelard made up Caroline, did he?" Justin fumed. "He just decided that you had a girl friend and that her name was Caroline."

"Abelard is not as dumb as you think he is," Brian said, "And he's not really crazy either, Baby. Actually somebody told him that, but not me. All I did was not deny it."

"Well who the hell told him that?" Justin complained, "And why didn't you deny it? Are you going to tell me what the hell went on, or is going on, or whatever? Hating you is not fun, Brian."

"Let's start from the beginning then, Kiddo," Brian told him, "And I expect you to listen to what I'm telling you. You knew Abelard wanted to come here and have me help him pick out a Valentine's gift for his girl friend."

"Yeah," Justin giggled. "Betty Sue."

"Cut it out, Twink," Brian warned him, "Or we might end up with a St. Valentine's Day massacre right here and right now. I asked you if you minded, and you said it was OK with you as long as you didn't have to go along. So Abe drove in from Columbus Friday night. He stayed with Malcolm as you well know. Well he told Malcolm that since I was helping him pick a gift for Betty Sue, that maybe he could help me pick out a gift for my girl friend. He asked Malcolm what my girl friend's name was. Malcolm knows how things are; he wasn't going to tell him about us, so he just told Abe my girl friend's name was Caroline. See?"

"I think I hate Malcolm too," Justin allowed but there was a trace of a smile appearing on his face. "And what did you get Caroline, Honey. I hope it's something I can use."

"Abelard was thinking about something in the area of intimate apparel," Brian smiled at him.

"Just because I'm laughing does not mean that I don't still hate you, Kinney," Justin told him, "Just maybe not as much as before. But I don't need any intimate apparel."

"No you don't," Brian confirmed with a half leer. "Or any other apparel either."

"Flattery will get you nowhere," Justin advised him, "But actually this story is getting interesting. Please continue."

"Actually, the shopping was not much of a problem," Brian told him. "I asked Abe about Betty Sue and we ended up buying her some of her favorite perfume, and a really nice red ski hat. What do you think?"

"I think," Justin chortled, "That I hope Betty Sue's tastes run with yours and Abelard's."

"And I think you're mad because we got our shopping done with no help from you," Brian pointed out. "I think what you're mad about is that we showed you that we didn't need you to come along and show us what to do."

"Not at all, Sweetheart," Justin came back, "I think you showed me that you did need me. It was selfish of me not to agree to go shopping with you. Did Abelard say anything about me while you were shopping?"

"I don't remember," Brian answered.

"Yes you do," Justin insisted, "And now I know that yes, he did. So just tell me."

"He said he didn't figure that the useless cousin I have staying with me would have a girl friend," Brian admitted. "I told him I didn't think you did."

"And you didn't tell him about Olivia?" Justin laughed, "And Malcolm the fink didn't tell him about Portia?"

"You're having a good time with this whole thing, Baby," Brian protested. "You can have a good time or you can hate me, but you can't do both, so you're going to have to pick one or the other."

"You know how I like to have a good time," Justin chose, letting his head fall onto Brian's shoulder.

"Some time passed before the silence was broken. "You never told me what you got for Caroline," Justin reopened the discussion.

"It's not Valentine's Day yet either," Brian noted, "And so I'm not going to tell you. You'll have to wait. I think it's something you'll like."

"I know I will," Justin agreed.

"How can you know that if you don't know what it is?" Brian wanted to know.

"I don't need to know what it is," Justin explained. "I do know it's coming from you so I know I will like it."

"So you must not think my taste is so bad after all," Brian gloated a bit.

"Don't I always say you're the absolute best shopper in the world," Justin asked him.

"You do," Brian answered, "If you think there's something in it for you."

"And is there something in it for me?" Justin querried.

"Maybe," Brian told him, running his hand through the kid's hair.

A little time passed before Justin came out with a prediction. "I think this is going to be our best Valentine's Day ever, Brian. What do you think?"

"I don't know," Brian replied. "Could be that I'm a little bit mad at you."

"What for?" Justin asked with surprise.

"Didn't you say my stomach was flabby?" Brian accused him.

"Yeah, I did," Justin admitted, "But I didn't mean it, Honey. I'm sorry and I apologize. Your stomach is not the least bit flabby. Will you accept my apology?"

"Maybe," Brian told him, but they both knew what the real answer was.

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